Skinny people will never understand...
Weight has always been an issue in my life. I have never really experienced a happy medium in that area. In high school I dropped to a size four by doing horrendous things to my body at the hands of an eating disorder and now I am reaping the consequences. My metabolism is basically non-existant so over the past four years I have almost doubled my normal dress size. Even when I was my thinnest, I thought I was fat. And now I really am. Don't mistake this for a pity party because it isn't anything of the kind. It is a statement of fact. I am overweight. And with the double-edged blessing of hindsight, I would now do anything to return to the size 8 I used to wear before my whole eating disorder disaster. It is honestly one of the hardest things to be overweight in this society. It is almost a socially taboo as homosexuality or abortion. If you think about it, all that is depicted on TV and movies is this ideal image of physical perfection...and if you don't wear a single-digit dress size then you are excluded and isolated. You can't shop in all the popular chain stores or boutiques because they don't cater very well to double-digit dress sizes. And when you do find clothes that fit, they are in the "women's department" or "plus size attire." I am freakin' 22 years old...I do not need to be shopping in those areas. Do you know what it feels like to try on the biggest size in a store and it still not fit? Or how about ordering food from a restaurant and getting looks from your server and people around you like "you should have ordered a salad and water?" Or how about losing your breath after climbing one flight of stairs in the library and having to hide in one of the back isles so that you can catch it without people condemning you with their stares. Trust me, it is no walk in the park. Our society is so horribly backwards. It plasters these images of beauty relying almost entirely on weight yet shamelessly promoted horrible eating habits through convenience foods and the fast-food industry. And God forbid you be happy with your weight if you are over 125 pounds. You have the great fortune carrying such names as "big-boned," "heavy" or "big." In my case, I know I did this to myself, almost a sick sense of karma if you think about it. I was dying (literally) to be thin and came extremely close to achieving my goal at both ends. Since then I have gained all the weight that I lost plus fifty-so pounds. Don't tell me that a simple diet and some exercise will cure this, because it's not that simple...and plus, that is the age-old excuse given to fat people by skinny people. Let's say you do go to a gym. You must be careful on which gym to go to. You can't really feel comfortable in some trendy sports gym where spandex reigns supremes and people only have small beads of swear on their foreheads. Fat people can't go to those gyms, they will be laughed straight out of the place. Skinny girls have it especially easy, they really do. They know that when I a guy smiles or approaches them, that there is a strong possibility that he is interested. Whereas when a fat girl gets approached, the majority of the time it is to see if their skinny friend is available. Life is on a whole different plane of existance if you are overweight. And that is why skinny people will never understand.