terrorism....*sp*
So, I feel off right now. I got back from l.a....wait, lets start with friday.
Friday morning I got a text message from KC saying I know you have a new man in ur life, and u probably wont believe me, but I have realized that the biggest mistake I ever made was letting u go...I miss u...sorry. WTF why wont he leave me alone? I can deal with it, I need him to stay out of my life, I cant fix my heart if he keeps reminding me how much I used to love him.
Saturday we went to see "saw", it was good, but it had alot of bad acting in it.
The one thing that makes me feel alot better is knowing how much I miss jason right now. That shows me that I am pretty much over KC. That text message he sent me didn't do much for me, I just felt more hatred tward him for doing that, it brought back all the bad feelings he made me have. And knowing I like jason so much makes it that much better...I have a man now that I know wont hurt me, I have a man that I know I can trust. Granted he hasn't been answering my texts since he left for LA for the etec thing, but I think its just because his phone died, and he prolly forgot his charger. When my first thought was "silly man, he forgot his charger" wrather than "OMG, what did I do wrong? Is he ignoring me" (when that would be my reaction if I were still with KC), makes me feel awsome. I finally found a guy who I can trust, and I dont have to worry that he'll hurt me, or do something to screw it all up.
I feel really good about myself. Me and Liz hung out for a little bit tonight, and she is a genuenly *sp* great person. I still feel really bad about this whole Jason thing...but at least I know I can still be her friend, and so long as we're ok...I know that she doesn't hate me (or at least I hope not). We watched a movie, and talked a bit...it was fun, and I cant wait to start for the equestrian team. Granted I am really nervous about it, what happens if I dont know as much as I think I do? I dont want to disapoint Liz, or moreso, myself. I know that I know how to ride a horse, and keep control of it...but I have never had formal lessons, and I have never competed, so it will be interesting to see how bad I do.
I think I am going to go home to dad's this weekend, just to chill out and relax a bit. More likely just need to be around my dad, he always makes me feel like nothing can ever go wrong...JESUS, I am such a fucking daddy's girl. Anyway, I dont really know what else to talk about, just missing jason....I hope I hear from him soon, I just kind of want to hear his voice more than anything...*sigh*
Friday morning I got a text message from KC saying I know you have a new man in ur life, and u probably wont believe me, but I have realized that the biggest mistake I ever made was letting u go...I miss u...sorry. WTF why wont he leave me alone? I can deal with it, I need him to stay out of my life, I cant fix my heart if he keeps reminding me how much I used to love him.
Saturday we went to see "saw", it was good, but it had alot of bad acting in it.
The one thing that makes me feel alot better is knowing how much I miss jason right now. That shows me that I am pretty much over KC. That text message he sent me didn't do much for me, I just felt more hatred tward him for doing that, it brought back all the bad feelings he made me have. And knowing I like jason so much makes it that much better...I have a man now that I know wont hurt me, I have a man that I know I can trust. Granted he hasn't been answering my texts since he left for LA for the etec thing, but I think its just because his phone died, and he prolly forgot his charger. When my first thought was "silly man, he forgot his charger" wrather than "OMG, what did I do wrong? Is he ignoring me" (when that would be my reaction if I were still with KC), makes me feel awsome. I finally found a guy who I can trust, and I dont have to worry that he'll hurt me, or do something to screw it all up.
I feel really good about myself. Me and Liz hung out for a little bit tonight, and she is a genuenly *sp* great person. I still feel really bad about this whole Jason thing...but at least I know I can still be her friend, and so long as we're ok...I know that she doesn't hate me (or at least I hope not). We watched a movie, and talked a bit...it was fun, and I cant wait to start for the equestrian team. Granted I am really nervous about it, what happens if I dont know as much as I think I do? I dont want to disapoint Liz, or moreso, myself. I know that I know how to ride a horse, and keep control of it...but I have never had formal lessons, and I have never competed, so it will be interesting to see how bad I do.
I think I am going to go home to dad's this weekend, just to chill out and relax a bit. More likely just need to be around my dad, he always makes me feel like nothing can ever go wrong...JESUS, I am such a fucking daddy's girl. Anyway, I dont really know what else to talk about, just missing jason....I hope I hear from him soon, I just kind of want to hear his voice more than anything...*sigh*