take me downtown to the city of stars.
By the tender age of 18 I had been to 8 different countries. And now... nothing. Well, 3 others I guess. But still, not much. Lame! I really wish to travel again. If I could- I would leave (after I graduate of course) and be a missionary for a few years. But I don't think my mother could handle it. I have the papers all filled out for the Peace Corps, but I'm still debating if I should send them in or not- it's like a 2 year process before I'd actually leave, so that'll be around the time I graduate which would be perfect. We'll see how it all pans out.
Tonight I was feeling productive so I cleaned my room- I can't study in a messy room during dead week. And on the unproductive side of things, I did NO studying tonight and ended up going through my old online journal. For a while I was going to print it out and just make a book of it, cause it goes through 4 years of my life, but last year I went back and deleted 2 years of it because they just made me sad to read about again. I probably will regret it later, but I'm all about shoving bad/sad feelings and memories in the back of my mind till they either come bursting out in a flood or just go away( I always hope for the latter).
An old friend called me today. I was so excited that my eyes started to water. I tend to do that. I miss alot of people... well, more so the memories we made. I always believed that your life is only as good as the memories you make and I feel that this year my "memory box" is not as full as it should be. My remedy? Get out more and do unexpected things. Today for instance (in between the snow showers) I drove down to the park and sat on the grass and listened to The Ataris in the sun. It was cold as hell but it was really nice to be in the sun again. It brought me back to when I was coming out of my more punk rock music stage and was really starting to get into The Ataris, Zebrahead, Incubus, and TBS.
While laying on the grass I was thinking about how I really don't mind being alone. You know, some people feel stupid doing things by themselves? I actually enjoy my company ha. I have gone to see movies and gone to dinner by myself before and I'm totally fine with it. What's funny about this is that whenever I see someone alone at dinner or going to a movie solo I always think to myself " Oh what a sad person. They must be so lonely to have to go out by themselves." In the moment I never think that they could just not like to be social. Or they could have some flesh eating disease and so they have no friends- that would be sad too :o) I think I need to find a buddy though. I've never had a "best friend" unless I was in a relationship. Someone that I could call to just go do whatever. Well... maybe Matty Wend now. But for safety's sake it would be nice- sometimes I get scared when I take walks at 1 or 2 in the morning that some car is going to come by and kidnap me. My mom would probably kick me if she found out I was walking alone at night too ha. Bottom line: if you are reading this and you at anytime feel the urge to go on a walk you should call me cause I will join you. I LOVE to go on walks. But don't call me if you're a creepy stranger, only nice strangers and friends will be walked with.
Tonight I was feeling productive so I cleaned my room- I can't study in a messy room during dead week. And on the unproductive side of things, I did NO studying tonight and ended up going through my old online journal. For a while I was going to print it out and just make a book of it, cause it goes through 4 years of my life, but last year I went back and deleted 2 years of it because they just made me sad to read about again. I probably will regret it later, but I'm all about shoving bad/sad feelings and memories in the back of my mind till they either come bursting out in a flood or just go away( I always hope for the latter).
An old friend called me today. I was so excited that my eyes started to water. I tend to do that. I miss alot of people... well, more so the memories we made. I always believed that your life is only as good as the memories you make and I feel that this year my "memory box" is not as full as it should be. My remedy? Get out more and do unexpected things. Today for instance (in between the snow showers) I drove down to the park and sat on the grass and listened to The Ataris in the sun. It was cold as hell but it was really nice to be in the sun again. It brought me back to when I was coming out of my more punk rock music stage and was really starting to get into The Ataris, Zebrahead, Incubus, and TBS.
While laying on the grass I was thinking about how I really don't mind being alone. You know, some people feel stupid doing things by themselves? I actually enjoy my company ha. I have gone to see movies and gone to dinner by myself before and I'm totally fine with it. What's funny about this is that whenever I see someone alone at dinner or going to a movie solo I always think to myself " Oh what a sad person. They must be so lonely to have to go out by themselves." In the moment I never think that they could just not like to be social. Or they could have some flesh eating disease and so they have no friends- that would be sad too :o) I think I need to find a buddy though. I've never had a "best friend" unless I was in a relationship. Someone that I could call to just go do whatever. Well... maybe Matty Wend now. But for safety's sake it would be nice- sometimes I get scared when I take walks at 1 or 2 in the morning that some car is going to come by and kidnap me. My mom would probably kick me if she found out I was walking alone at night too ha. Bottom line: if you are reading this and you at anytime feel the urge to go on a walk you should call me cause I will join you. I LOVE to go on walks. But don't call me if you're a creepy stranger, only nice strangers and friends will be walked with.