ARrrg
So, I'm trying to write in my lj more so as not to annoy my husband so much. I have a problem about being very neurotic and obsessive. If something is on my mind I want to keep talking and over analyzing and obsessing. He does not, as one might imagine, enjoy this very much. So, I am attempting to write it out more often.
1) The fighting finally came to a head. It is not all alcohol fueled but a big portion of it is and after a few really bad nights in a row I finally said something. So, he is attempting to take a break from drinking. And yesterday, no fighting. We will see how long it lasts but I think it's going to have many many benefits. Both emotional and physical. Also, when I run out of my current pack I will finally really give quitting a try because it's only fair if I don't want him to drink.
2) I noticed a little tension for a while with one of my friends who took many of my students when I left. I called both of them up before making my decision to move back, asking how they felt, letting them know I wanted to email my old students to give them the option. They both said it was fine and they were excited I was coming back. I didn't pressure any of the students, I just let them know the option was there if they wanted it but that I would not take any offense if they wanted to stay with their current teacher. And that I would be happy to hear they had bonded with the new teacher, I recommended them for a reason.
Well, one of them is totally fine, she's keeping one student but wanted to lighten her load anyway.
The other it turns out is not happy about me emailing all our shared students. 1 is coming back and the rest are staying with her, which I am fine with! But she was not fine with it. She never told me this though, it just seemed awkward between us. I called to discuss the 1 who was returning to check in and then it all finally came out. I'm glad she finally admitted it. But I did ask her too. I don't know how I could have handled this better. Should I have just emailed and said, hey I'm coming back, I look forward to seeing you guys again? And not even mentioned lessons? I don't know?!?! Eitherway, I wish she had been honest with me because I really did try to do the right thing. I called and talked to her before even making my decision, and it was only because I had her ok that I went this route. Why didn't she tell me how she really felt?!?!
I feel rotten about it. Yes, I'm annoyed that she didn't tell me the truth, but I also feel so guilty because I know it caused some hard thinking and emotions for some of the students. And, I didn't want to put them in that position, but I also didn't want them to be offended if I came back and didn't tell them or didn't offer to teach them again. I think that would be hurtful to them as well. And here we put a dent in a really good friendship. I don't know how to make it right because we don't hang out that often. But I would like to.
Also, I have said everything I have to say in this entry and I don't feel any better or less obsessive on the matter. Sigh. In other good and positive news, I have my schedule of the few students I'm getting back lined up for starting in September, looks like I can put them all on the same day, yay!
There is one pending student from teacher #2 who hasn't told me either way yet, which I did let her know so there are no surprises if they do come back to me. But now I really hope they stay with her, I don't want any more bad blood between us.
1) The fighting finally came to a head. It is not all alcohol fueled but a big portion of it is and after a few really bad nights in a row I finally said something. So, he is attempting to take a break from drinking. And yesterday, no fighting. We will see how long it lasts but I think it's going to have many many benefits. Both emotional and physical. Also, when I run out of my current pack I will finally really give quitting a try because it's only fair if I don't want him to drink.
2) I noticed a little tension for a while with one of my friends who took many of my students when I left. I called both of them up before making my decision to move back, asking how they felt, letting them know I wanted to email my old students to give them the option. They both said it was fine and they were excited I was coming back. I didn't pressure any of the students, I just let them know the option was there if they wanted it but that I would not take any offense if they wanted to stay with their current teacher. And that I would be happy to hear they had bonded with the new teacher, I recommended them for a reason.
Well, one of them is totally fine, she's keeping one student but wanted to lighten her load anyway.
The other it turns out is not happy about me emailing all our shared students. 1 is coming back and the rest are staying with her, which I am fine with! But she was not fine with it. She never told me this though, it just seemed awkward between us. I called to discuss the 1 who was returning to check in and then it all finally came out. I'm glad she finally admitted it. But I did ask her too. I don't know how I could have handled this better. Should I have just emailed and said, hey I'm coming back, I look forward to seeing you guys again? And not even mentioned lessons? I don't know?!?! Eitherway, I wish she had been honest with me because I really did try to do the right thing. I called and talked to her before even making my decision, and it was only because I had her ok that I went this route. Why didn't she tell me how she really felt?!?!
I feel rotten about it. Yes, I'm annoyed that she didn't tell me the truth, but I also feel so guilty because I know it caused some hard thinking and emotions for some of the students. And, I didn't want to put them in that position, but I also didn't want them to be offended if I came back and didn't tell them or didn't offer to teach them again. I think that would be hurtful to them as well. And here we put a dent in a really good friendship. I don't know how to make it right because we don't hang out that often. But I would like to.
Also, I have said everything I have to say in this entry and I don't feel any better or less obsessive on the matter. Sigh. In other good and positive news, I have my schedule of the few students I'm getting back lined up for starting in September, looks like I can put them all on the same day, yay!
There is one pending student from teacher #2 who hasn't told me either way yet, which I did let her know so there are no surprises if they do come back to me. But now I really hope they stay with her, I don't want any more bad blood between us.