Holy crap!
An actual post - with details. Date and time it folks, the journal is being used as it was intended!
So I've been sitting on this thing for nine months or so now and all I've done to date is answer memes and bitch about WMM - the best program Windows ever made. And if you believe that you'll believe ANYTHING! But -deep breath- here we go ...
I've been horrendously sick as of late -- what started out as a cold and a small blister transformed into a wonderful infection complete with blackened skin, enflamed foot (no shoe wearing for me; I've gone about two months now) and some delightful fever dreams. Don't under estimate those things - they can be really impressive. I had one involving the British singer Will Young (who is openly homosexual) living in a countryside retreat with pod people in the ground. Yes, something was a foot my hearties ... he was getting married to my sister and being somewhat sinister and confused. It was very odd - like he was on our side but had to be quiet in case bad things happened. That is the one that stuck with me, except it was like full blown technicolour with scents and everything. I adored it! Am somewhat disappointed that I had no beasts or monsters coming for my first born children or anything sinister like that.
Following on from that -- and a complete bust on the university front -- a summer of resits awaits me now. Something I am not too bothered about surprisingly enough but then I've always done better with coursework than exams. I tend to freeze up in those situations and there is nothing less fun than having a brain fart in an exam.
But now we get to the genuinely fun stuff! Over the past weekend I have attended my friend's wedding. I haven't seen E since two summers back and since then she has been lucky enough to give birth to a beautiful baby boy and married a wonderful guy. The call to come was out of the blue (damn those hungry, its a free meal, relatives) and I had about three days to get my hair done, get a ticket and get up to Newcastle. Once there I met B (the babe) for the first time and much like Spud, my other friends little boy, he was absolutely gorgeous and definitely a 'mommas boy'. The day itself though - OMG! E looked absolutely amazing in this lovely dress and she was so happy - I officially want my wedding to be like that, she was just WOW. Though I don't want my dad doing what hers did - he serenaded her on the stage with his ukelele - I've never seen anyone hide in the back of a room so much in my life.
Which brings me to the bitchy part of my entire post ... men! Why do the guys that show interest in me be older, ugly or taken. At the wedding the best man was window shopping, the grooms brother and married. I was SO pissed off. The other option was about five years my junior (I'm 23 so we're not quite in illegal territory here) scrawny as anything and the younger brother of a guy I once dated. No! I always thought being single was the way to go, but siting in a wedding room full of couples really does make you feel like shit. Everyone seemed to have someone with them and it made me want to puke if I'm honest - happy people on a happy day ... normally I'd be pleased for them but by the end of the evening I was ready to curl up in a ball and admit defeat - its like rubbing salt in the wound. I like being independent and being self reliant, I've grown used to being able to take care of myself and look after myself, yet then it was like I have all the choices that I want but I don't get happy as part of the deal. Or at least that seemed to be the message then ...
Sell out and be in a relationship and lose my identity or be single and be reminded that I can't be happy with making that decision.
The thing is whilst being with someone to cure loneliness and fit in with my friends and what they get upto might paper the cracks I can't see how it can be better that what I'm doing. -sighs- I hate judgement calls on lifestyle. But I also hate that I sound so bitter following a day where I was really happy and in awe of E because she got such a happy ending.
So I'm not a bitter witch at all am I?!
So I've been sitting on this thing for nine months or so now and all I've done to date is answer memes and bitch about WMM - the best program Windows ever made. And if you believe that you'll believe ANYTHING! But -deep breath- here we go ...
I've been horrendously sick as of late -- what started out as a cold and a small blister transformed into a wonderful infection complete with blackened skin, enflamed foot (no shoe wearing for me; I've gone about two months now) and some delightful fever dreams. Don't under estimate those things - they can be really impressive. I had one involving the British singer Will Young (who is openly homosexual) living in a countryside retreat with pod people in the ground. Yes, something was a foot my hearties ... he was getting married to my sister and being somewhat sinister and confused. It was very odd - like he was on our side but had to be quiet in case bad things happened. That is the one that stuck with me, except it was like full blown technicolour with scents and everything. I adored it! Am somewhat disappointed that I had no beasts or monsters coming for my first born children or anything sinister like that.
Following on from that -- and a complete bust on the university front -- a summer of resits awaits me now. Something I am not too bothered about surprisingly enough but then I've always done better with coursework than exams. I tend to freeze up in those situations and there is nothing less fun than having a brain fart in an exam.
But now we get to the genuinely fun stuff! Over the past weekend I have attended my friend's wedding. I haven't seen E since two summers back and since then she has been lucky enough to give birth to a beautiful baby boy and married a wonderful guy. The call to come was out of the blue (damn those hungry, its a free meal, relatives) and I had about three days to get my hair done, get a ticket and get up to Newcastle. Once there I met B (the babe) for the first time and much like Spud, my other friends little boy, he was absolutely gorgeous and definitely a 'mommas boy'. The day itself though - OMG! E looked absolutely amazing in this lovely dress and she was so happy - I officially want my wedding to be like that, she was just WOW. Though I don't want my dad doing what hers did - he serenaded her on the stage with his ukelele - I've never seen anyone hide in the back of a room so much in my life.
Which brings me to the bitchy part of my entire post ... men! Why do the guys that show interest in me be older, ugly or taken. At the wedding the best man was window shopping, the grooms brother and married. I was SO pissed off. The other option was about five years my junior (I'm 23 so we're not quite in illegal territory here) scrawny as anything and the younger brother of a guy I once dated. No! I always thought being single was the way to go, but siting in a wedding room full of couples really does make you feel like shit. Everyone seemed to have someone with them and it made me want to puke if I'm honest - happy people on a happy day ... normally I'd be pleased for them but by the end of the evening I was ready to curl up in a ball and admit defeat - its like rubbing salt in the wound. I like being independent and being self reliant, I've grown used to being able to take care of myself and look after myself, yet then it was like I have all the choices that I want but I don't get happy as part of the deal. Or at least that seemed to be the message then ...
Sell out and be in a relationship and lose my identity or be single and be reminded that I can't be happy with making that decision.
The thing is whilst being with someone to cure loneliness and fit in with my friends and what they get upto might paper the cracks I can't see how it can be better that what I'm doing. -sighs- I hate judgement calls on lifestyle. But I also hate that I sound so bitter following a day where I was really happy and in awe of E because she got such a happy ending.
So I'm not a bitter witch at all am I?!