(no subject)

[midnightbegins]

beautiful boy our sexual tension
youre screaming my name without apprehension
clothes on the floor, blankets off the bed
you felt my skin, u kissed my head
our sexual tension drowned you with pain
so u touched my skin but i walked away
-rikki

rikki writes beautifully.
thank god she's a good enough friend to tell me the truth.
i appreciate her concern for me, because if she hadn't i'd be feeling REALLY shitty right now. i mean, i feel pretty shitty, but not like as shitty as i possibly could. which is a good thing?
ha ha.
way to find the silver lining terri...

watched lolita last night.
it's soooo good.
i love it.
it's one of my new favorite movies.
i love how they call her Lo.
i want that to be my stage name in the band.

in conclusion some advice to myself:
fuck everything.
drop everything and run.
run far far away.
get as far away as you possibly can.
the sooner you can get away the better.
the less likely you are to get more hurt.
only pain awaits you if you decide to stay.

so my final decision is:
i'm packing my bags and leaving.
i'll miss this place but, sometimes you gotta hurt yourself to avoid deeper pain in the end.