[004]
Well, as I was trying to make my rounds today, some lady with a giant purse totally aced me in the head when she turned around too quickly and then I saw something. Not stars, but THE SECRET TO PROPER DEMONSTRATIONS:
OBESITY STRIKES.
It takes strength of both mind and body to overeat, but choosing not to eat is just lazy. Any old joe can chain themselves to a bed and say that they aren’t going to eat. It takes A REAL MAN to sit down at a buffet table and refuse to leave unless things change.
Not only would an obesity strike be just as gross to watch, it LASTS LONGER. As a man wastes away from hunger, he becomes weaker and easier to ignore. If, after a few weeks, nobody intervenes, then there is no more protester. However, a man can live for years on a massive-intake diet, making it the marathon to the hunger strike’s sprint. It’s also a hell of a lot more effective when you roll up to a podium on your scooter and shout “WHOA WHOA, FIGHT THE POWER” between bites of ribs. People not in the know SEE THAT YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING. Unless this culture regularly eats at the podium... either way.
Hunger strikes jumped the shark when Ghandi did one and they’re easy enough to stop with nasal catheters once the protesters are too emaciated to put up a fight. But try keeping a cheesecake away from a 300-lb man on a mission, and you’re going to need a heck of a lot more than a simple IV drip. And unlike the paper-thin, it’s much harder to get rid of some schmuck devoted to an obesity strike from outside of Duff Stadium.
So the next time you’re vehemently opposed to the nuking of the whales, the unjust arrest of sea pirates, or the gnomes stealing your undergarments, don't put down your fork, but grab a ladle in protest. A man softly weeping as he’s forced to eat another slice of key-lime pie is a much stronger image than one who can’t cry because his body doesn’t have the energy to produce tears. And though you may think the latter is worse, you’ve probably never watched somebody eat until they’ve thrown up.
((ooc: Sorry if his entries are obnoxious and unreadable D:, really))
OBESITY STRIKES.
It takes strength of both mind and body to overeat, but choosing not to eat is just lazy. Any old joe can chain themselves to a bed and say that they aren’t going to eat. It takes A REAL MAN to sit down at a buffet table and refuse to leave unless things change.
Not only would an obesity strike be just as gross to watch, it LASTS LONGER. As a man wastes away from hunger, he becomes weaker and easier to ignore. If, after a few weeks, nobody intervenes, then there is no more protester. However, a man can live for years on a massive-intake diet, making it the marathon to the hunger strike’s sprint. It’s also a hell of a lot more effective when you roll up to a podium on your scooter and shout “WHOA WHOA, FIGHT THE POWER” between bites of ribs. People not in the know SEE THAT YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING. Unless this culture regularly eats at the podium... either way.
Hunger strikes jumped the shark when Ghandi did one and they’re easy enough to stop with nasal catheters once the protesters are too emaciated to put up a fight. But try keeping a cheesecake away from a 300-lb man on a mission, and you’re going to need a heck of a lot more than a simple IV drip. And unlike the paper-thin, it’s much harder to get rid of some schmuck devoted to an obesity strike from outside of Duff Stadium.
So the next time you’re vehemently opposed to the nuking of the whales, the unjust arrest of sea pirates, or the gnomes stealing your undergarments, don't put down your fork, but grab a ladle in protest. A man softly weeping as he’s forced to eat another slice of key-lime pie is a much stronger image than one who can’t cry because his body doesn’t have the energy to produce tears. And though you may think the latter is worse, you’ve probably never watched somebody eat until they’ve thrown up.
((ooc: Sorry if his entries are obnoxious and unreadable D:, really))