The New Slang
Upon sipping my fourth glass of champagne, the church smell of cloves in the air ... I realize that life could indeed be worse.
But it could be better.
I attended a "hiring fair" for Radio Shack this evening. There were no kissing booths, and the "Whirly-Mobile" was mysteriously absent. However, there was plenty of corporate brainwashing going on! It was basically a single room, a series of uncomfortable chairs, and a variety of ethno-rific wannabe eletronic sales people. I have to admit ... after the skeevy Midwestern kid, the saucy black chick, and the quiet Asian kid walked in, I waited with bated breath for the Eskimo with a harpoon and parka to come waltzing through. No such luck. I completed a never-ending survey, with such questions as "True or False: my individuality has no place in a working environment." And then ... they popped in "The Tape". So many actors, proclaiming in their failed drama-kid voices that Radioshack is pretty much as close to Nirvana as one can get. Classic Moment: when a guy with too much scruff said, completely seriously: "Because of my flexible work schedule, I have time to do whatever I want. Radioshack lets me go fishing whenever I want!" I, of course, laughed. Really loud. Dave, the manager/herder, was not pleased.
I was interviewed afterwards. It really helps the process when you don't care about whether or not you get the job. I really impressed them with my cavalier attitude about pretty much everything they asked. I have a second interview next week. I think they want to break my spirit.
On Monday, I meet with a charming young lass named for Maria for an interview at Starbucks. You can now purchase my soul for the same price as an IPod mini.
Question: Why am I currently talking to Conor?
Answer: Because he remains the only person I have been in love with, despite the fact that he's straight, lives in Buffalo, and I'm somewhat drunk.
I could move to Miami. I could move to San Francisco. But is my business in New York over with?
Bamf.
But it could be better.
I attended a "hiring fair" for Radio Shack this evening. There were no kissing booths, and the "Whirly-Mobile" was mysteriously absent. However, there was plenty of corporate brainwashing going on! It was basically a single room, a series of uncomfortable chairs, and a variety of ethno-rific wannabe eletronic sales people. I have to admit ... after the skeevy Midwestern kid, the saucy black chick, and the quiet Asian kid walked in, I waited with bated breath for the Eskimo with a harpoon and parka to come waltzing through. No such luck. I completed a never-ending survey, with such questions as "True or False: my individuality has no place in a working environment." And then ... they popped in "The Tape". So many actors, proclaiming in their failed drama-kid voices that Radioshack is pretty much as close to Nirvana as one can get. Classic Moment: when a guy with too much scruff said, completely seriously: "Because of my flexible work schedule, I have time to do whatever I want. Radioshack lets me go fishing whenever I want!" I, of course, laughed. Really loud. Dave, the manager/herder, was not pleased.
I was interviewed afterwards. It really helps the process when you don't care about whether or not you get the job. I really impressed them with my cavalier attitude about pretty much everything they asked. I have a second interview next week. I think they want to break my spirit.
On Monday, I meet with a charming young lass named for Maria for an interview at Starbucks. You can now purchase my soul for the same price as an IPod mini.
Question: Why am I currently talking to Conor?
Answer: Because he remains the only person I have been in love with, despite the fact that he's straight, lives in Buffalo, and I'm somewhat drunk.
I could move to Miami. I could move to San Francisco. But is my business in New York over with?
Bamf.