Fat people
I went to texas the other day and everything really is bigger there! Of course, by went to texas I mean that I was imprisoned there and after spending a few nights I was afraid that a certain unmentionable oriface was going to be bigger if I didn't get out. So after clawing my raw bloody fingers through the ground for 3 weeks I finially came out next to the parking lot of a strip mall. I was of course starving and delighted to find a morbidly obese woman stuck in the passenger seat of a running subaru. She kind of freaked out a little as I started driving her to the nearest uninhabited road I could find but as far as I can tell she started having some kind of cardiac arrest. She was pretty much in shock my the time I started eating her so I didn't bother to beat her into submission. Once I had my fill I pulled some of the intestines that had fallen loose and collected under the carseat and stuffed them in her mouth to make it look like a suicide. Anywho, I'm back home now with my regular sized girlfriend/prostitute and bowl of cheetos but I kind of wish that I had grabbed some of that lady's liver as a take out.