(no subject)
i've been going through somewhat of a slump the past few days. its the junior year slump. everything just seems shitty and blah. the weather has been crap -- rain and storms all the time. i missed the bus today. i got turned down by general mills. already. man i probably didn't even make it out of round 1 of talks if they could tell me this soon that they don't want me. but i guess i should have know that no one is going to hire me because i'm not the founder of my own business and don't have stock portfolios on my own and all this other impressive shit that everyone else in the business school seems to have. i guess i will just go home again this summer and sit on my lazy ass and have my parents tell me how lazy i am and how i will never get anywhere in life. why am i spending all this money to be at washu? i could have gone to UK for free and would not feel like a worthless piece of shit compared to all my fellow classmates. i miss my family. especially James. i miss dressing him up in hideous costumes and taking him around the neighborhood and then stealing all his candy afterward. i miss my friends. my friends who took time to call me during fall break when they saw that i was stressing out cuz of my exams to wish me good luck. i feel like i know so many people here at washu; people to say hello to and to ask about their weekends and complain about teachers.....but not people that i can really count on. i guess this is the theme that creeps up every year, and i feel bad feeling this way, but sometimes i feel like i have no real friends here. there's few people i can actually trust to be loyal and caring. i feel like everyone here is fair-weathered: they like you when you're fun and hate you when you're not super peppy. i'm just tired of these fake "HEY! how ARE you??? OMG i'm sooo glad to see you" when they couldn't possibly care if i'm doing badly. i guess i should just stop complaining. i'm just so tired of this. here i go pretending to be happy again...