Days
1 day until Graduation
9 days until my Graduation Party
71 days until my Eighteenth Birthday
78 days until College Move-in
I'm graduating tomorrow. I'm graduating tomorrow. It just hit me last night while I was at the Track Banquet. My track coach Jackie was talking about having everyone on the team next year and I realized I'm not going to be there. It struck me like a splash of ice water. I had to keep myself from crying, because I love track so much, and I love all the girls on the team. But not only that--after 13 years of going to school with all of the same people--some I've grown to love and care for, some not--we're separating. These people that I've shared my space and life with are suddenly going to be gone, and that's a weird feeling. I can't exactly describe it... it's bittersweet and strange and scary and happy all in one confusing jumble of emotions. I can't believe that after all these years of school, it's coming to and end tomorrow in one short ceremony. A few nights ago, I dream't of hundreds of yellow and green caps being thrown into the air, and I woke with a start thinking, that's going to be me. I'm going to be throwing that cap. It's so surreal. Everyone's lives are changing so much--my life is changing so much... I'll never have to worry about being tardy to class again! 8D
These last four years have been something else. Although it's had it's rough moments, I can safely say that high school has been a positive experience, and I love you, Little Miami! Except for the eighth graders. They can suck my cock. (I say that not because they are eighth graders, but because they are are jerks. They threw a golf ball at me! And it hit me in the temple!) And although High School has been mostly good, I can't help but have my regrets. I wish I would have embraced high school more. I wish I would have worked harder, and mostly I wish I would have joined track earlier. Even though I've been in track for half of high school, it doesn't feel like it. I'm going to miss track so much. I found so much happiness and grounding and confidence through running. Sure, I wasn't the fastest on the team, but I still ran. I built muscle and I built hope. I'll be so sad when track season comes around next year, my cousin Caitlin will be telling me about all the meets (she's one of our jumpers), and I'm going to miss the experience so much. I love all the girl's on the team, I love our coach, and I love the sense of camaraderie between all of us, even the boys. I'm going to miss it too much, so I'll make this commitment now: This summer, I am going to run and train all I can in hopes of improving my running time, with a focus on the 800, so by the time college starts, maybe I'll be good enough to join my college track team. I will do my best.
So, Track Banquet last night. It was simple: food, my dad acting like a 5-year-old with ADHD, and awards. I got a letter, two 5th place ribbons, and one 3rd place. No 1st or 2nd places this year, which, honestly, I'm fine with, because I was consistently last place all of last year, and this year I wasn't at all. Unfortunately, I missed a lot of meets, one because I was out of town, and a couple others because I got sick close to the end of the season, which made me sad, but it was a good season nonetheless. We kicked ass.
Another thing I wish I would have joined sooner is choir. This year was my first year, and I loved it. Had I joined sooner, I know I could have joined our Select Women's Choir, which is so good, they got invited to the World Choir Games. Next year at college, though, a friend of mine that will be going to my same university (and who happens to be in Select Women's) and I are trying out for the college chorus together.
So, to my next point: College. This fall, I am going to Bowling Green State University.
BGSU in located in the small college town of Bowling Green, in Northern Ohio. It's about 20 minutes away from Toledo, and 3 and a half hours away from home. It's pretty darn close to Lake Erie, which means 1)Biking to the lake on lazy Saturday afternoons! and 2)Fucking cold weather. I am excited for the first, not so thrilled for the latter. But the cold weather is an excuse to get cute new winter gear. XD I actually went for a visit in February to Bowling Green, and there just happened to be a blizzard that day, which is apparently not so uncommon there. It wasn't too bad, I think, especially for being sick. I really liked the campus, and I met a wonderful professor who teaches Novel Writing. I also bought a cute hat while I was up there. It is my official Bowling Green Weather Hat. I love it so.
I'm really excited for Bowling Green. My roommate was given to me a couple weeks ago. Her name is Rachel, and she so happens to like Fruits Basket. That's always a good sign. An even better sign is the amount of time she seems to spend with friends, which means she's an anime fan, but not one of the socially-inept ones--but the kind that can actually function away from the fandom, thank God. We all know those anime nerds that can't manage around people because they're so obsessed. 0_0 We're living in the Arts Village, which is Compton Kreischer. When I signed up for housing, I had to decide between the Arts Village and Global Village. It was a tough decision, but I ended up choosing the Arts Village so I could better be involved with the Creative Writing community. Which brings me to my text topic: Majors.
I am double majoring in Creative Writing and Journalism, and minoring in Japanese. It was tough to decide what I wanted to study. When my roommate added me on facebook, she asked if I would be majoring in Psychology based off my interests. My answer was no, but almost. I almost chose Psychology over Journalism. Even now, I still kind of want to, but there is a dilemma. I love psychology, but I could never be a therapist; rather, I would like to raise awareness of mental illness and the like through journalistic means. However, that'd prove difficult without a strong background in journalism... but then what qualifications would I have to write about mental illness in the first place without a psychology background? That is the situation. I ended up choosing Journalism because I think it would be easier to write about mental illness with a journalism degree. Either way, I'll still take tons of psychology classes, because learning the way in which people think, and the reasoning behind actions is always important for a writer, especially when you have a focus in fiction writing, especially especially one in novels. One needs to understand the human mind in order to write of humans. Makes sense, right?
So how do I feel about moving away from home? I suppose equally excited and scared. College really is about expanding and becoming yourself, it's a chance to discover a different world than you've know, but it's also scary leaving behind all you've known. I'm really grateful, though, because quite a few friends from school are going to the same college as I. My friends Holly, Becca, and most importantly, Seth. I am SO GLAD Seth is going to Bowling Green, too. He's the biggest reason this year has been so great. We've been dating almost 9 months now, and they've been awesome. He's awesome. He's really supportive and sweet, and he's just a good person. One thing that scares me about moving away is the idea of eating alone. I'm used to having at least 1 meal with someone else, whether it be friends or family. The idea of eating alone makes me really lonely, but knowing that Seth will be there for a few of them comforts me. It's good to know he'll be there in general, so we can support each other. Plus, I would miss him too much if we went to different colleges.
Oh, and get this: he's going into Journalism, too. We make our friends and family facepalm. But I just love him so much! X3
I'm looking forward to a great summer. Not only is it the summer after senior year, it's the start of a new chapter in my life. It's started out kind of shaky already, but I know it'll be awesome. My kitty cat Akito is leukemic, so he's susceptible to infections and whatnot, and recently he's gotten really sick. He was losing a bunch of fur, beyond the usual summer shedding, he didn't drink or eat anything for days, and I could hear him breathing from miles away. We took him to the vet a couple days ago, they found tumors in his tummy, and said he had a nose and lung infection. They gave him an I.V. (which gave him a funny pouch on his side) and told us we could have either put him to sleep then, or give him antibiotics in hopes he'd get better. But they said that if he wasn't any better by today, we'd have to put him to sleep. I will never give up hope in my little Akito. He's my baby. From the moment I saw him 7 years ago slinking around my house, a timid stray, I knew we were meant to be together. He's been my partner in crime ever since. We sleep tucked under the covers together, lay out in the sun, and cause mischief together. Akito and I are the definition of two peas of a pod. He's the sweetest cat in the world, and he's so loving. So we got him antibiotics and have been giving them to him religiously. I've been chasing him around the house with food, and I've even had to give him water with a dropper. But he's gotten a lot better. Just on Tuesday, I could hear him breathing from outside the house while I was inside, and now he's breathing normally. He started eating again yesterday, and finally today he began to drink water on his own. So my mom just bought him more antibiotics, and it looks like little Akito is going to make it! :DDDD
Isn't he cute? :3
So, here it is, my first post of the year 6 months in. XD Lots going on. Senior year is coming to an end. It's been a busy year, but tomorrow I get my diploma and start a summer that I know will be awesome. I hope everyone is well, and I've missed you all tons! ♥