There Are Many Ways to Go About It (30 Rock, Jack/Liz)
Title: There Are Many Ways to Go About It
For: nbckink
Prompt: 30 Rock, Jack/Liz, anal.
Warning: anal sex.
Spoilers: "Cooter," "Apollo, Apollo," & others, but nothing recent
Word Count: 4,251
Rating: NC-17
Notes: I was going to post this anonymously, but when something gets this long, I feel I may as well attach my name to it even if I feel a little weird about it. And I've felt weird about stuff I've posted before this, so all the more reason to go for it.
Summary: "She *did* eventually say, well... it was something she could try. Perhaps. If he really wanted to do it."
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Don't sue.
*
Jack's been going down on her forever.
Not literally, of course. And he has taken breaks. So. Point is--
ohcraplikethatjustlikethat.
yesgood.
Liz comes, with his lips around her clit and a finger inside her. He stays like that until a bit after her body goes slack, then starts licking her again. He removes his finger but keeps it down there, slides it a bit to...
Ohrightthat.
Her body jerks away from Jack's finger before he gets into what he was about to get into, and she pushes her head back on the pillow in annoyance at herself. Just... really? You knew where this was going. She scrunches her face up in apology as he looks up at her.
"I'm sorry... I'm not... You know. I'm not used to it."
"I'm trying to ease you into this as gently as I can; trying to relax you as much as possible."
"Is that why you've been down there so long?"
"Partly."
"Well, it's working. Because most of my body is relaxed. No, you know what? I am ready. I just wasn't expecting it. I was, I guess, but I wasn't... Just... try it again, okay?"
She actually meant *only* the finger stuff, but he goes back to licking her and, well, who is she to complain? (In this instance, that is. In general, she is usually one to complain.) One of his hands starts moving up and down her thigh when his other is... well, by her butt. Her body doesn't jerk.
She doesn't know if she should be proud of that.
No, she should. She's going to try a little something with her boyfriend and there's nothing wrong with that, even if it evokes the 'what what? in the butt' thing. (YouTube is the worst.) He likes it and he'll stop if she hates it, and that is good. And this is her trusting him and shouldn't she trust a man for once? It's a good thing--
Okay. His finger is inside her. Not going in too far, just the tip of it there, and the sensation is... weird. Good weird? Bad weird? She can't say, since there's not much going on. His tongue swirls around her clit, and his finger pushes in a bit deeper. He's not in much more by the time she comes, and he withdraws shortly after. He wipes his face off on the sheet before he kisses his way up her body, stopping at her neck before he rolls onto his side. He leans over, grabs the pack of baby wipes and uses one on his finger.
(Which, by the way, she found those in his drawer a while ago and thought, man, what is that about? Since he doesn't have a baby. She assumed it had *something* to do with sex, but at the time she was thinking masturbation instead of 'what he uses to wipe his finger off after putting it in a lady's rear,' but... Mystery solved. She wonders if she would have put it all together, would have figured out that he's into anal sex, if she saw the lubricant and gloves, but she probably would have assumed that his masturbation ritual had a bunch of extras involved. Which it very well might.)
Anyway. His finger has been cleaned.
Which is good. Because outside of any sanitary concerns, she doesn't want to get touched by a butt finger.
Okay. That was a thing she thought.
She must be serious about Jack to do this with him. She didn't even let Floyd do her on weeknights. And she's doing stuff, or going to be doing stuff, that involves lubricant and wipes and gloves for when he wants to put *fingers* all inside her, and her other boyfriends should be insulted. Because she was understanding about him wanting to try this with her. Okay. Maybe she wasn't *entirely* understanding. Maybe the first time he brought it up she told him, "No. No. No. You're not serious. Okay. You are serious. And no. No. No." But she *did* ask him about it later. She *did* eventually say, well... it was something she could try. Perhaps. If he really wanted to do it.
And then, they talked about it.
Which is pretty amazing, too.
Because she discussed this with Jack, had a series of conversations with him about anal sex. And only made a grossed-out face once, when he told her to introduce more fiber into her diet in the week before they decided to do it. And she made a confused face a few times... once right before she made the grossed-out face.
(Also: the surprised face. As in when he said:
"You may feel like you have to... go to the bathroom--"
Then the surprised face. Because she was too taken aback to be grossed out. "Wow. That is a thing you said to me."
"I'm trying to prepare you for all possibilities."
She nodded as her expression turned more neutral. "I get that. I appreciate it. Mostly."
"If you do, we should stop--"
"Sounds like a good idea."
"Then, after the feeling subsides, and if you wish to do so, we can continue."
She watched him for a moment, neutrality turning into curiosity. "So... why do you want to do something that might cause me to mention poop during sex?"
"I assume you wouldn't say 'poop.'"
"That is a bet I would not make if I were you. For a lot of reasons."
"It's a risk I'm willing to take."
"Well, it's good to know you don't love poop mentions while getting busy." He made his grossed-out face, which was less overt than hers. "What? There's nothing wrong with getting busy with ol' Liz Lemon. No, I get biz-ay. I do some serious boot knocking. Knocking them boots." He smiled slightly, but sadly she was losing steam. "Doing the ol' horizontal mambo with a lady. I'm the lady." She exhaled. Paused. "So?"
"Why do I enjoy it?"
"Yeah."
"It's a very... intense sensation, to have something fit that tightly around--"
She held up a hand. "Okay. Enough."
He titled his head. "Considering our topic of conversation, I hardly believe it makes sense to continue to object to referencing--"
She cut him off again. "It's that there's no good word for 'penis.' Even penis is... I don't know. Penis? Doesn't sound right. Same thing with vagina and all those words. There there's rear and ass and butt... which I guess you know all about."
She teasingly elbowed him in the side. He didn't seem particularly amused.)
And now, after all of those discussions, here they are.
He slides his arm around her, draws her closer. Kisses her neck before he presses his lips against hers. His hand moves up and down her back, over her ass, as they lie there, lazily kissing, and she thinks this is actually pretty nice for a prelude to something dirty and--
She has to stop thinking of this as 'dirty.'
But it is dirty, isn't it?
He pulls away, and he's even looking at her in a nice way, like when she does something he considers charming despite himself, and they can be cute, right? They can be a cute couple right before he grabs the lube and--
She and Jack are too old and cranky and weird to be cute.
It's got to be a good sign she thought of *that* instead of the sex. Maybe she's completely over her mini freak-out.
"After tonight," she blurts out, "you will have put that thing everywhere you could possibly put it in me."
No, she is not over her mini freak-out.
"I am not saying that as a bad thing... just as a thing," she mutters. "It is a thing that will be true."
He raises his eyebrows. "Lemon--"
"Before you say anything, I am not saying I don't want to try it. I am saying... We're going to do this. Have anal sex. I don't know why I said that like you needed to be told what we're going to do. And that's... maybe I'm feeling a little weird about it. But a lot of women get weird about this, right? The first time you... you know. Even if you're prepared, it can still make you nervous. Like doing anything for the first time. But this specifically, ladies do get a little nervous, don't they? Though I guess you aren't the first time of every lady you do this with. Are you? Don't tell me. And if I don't like it, we can go back to the normal way, right?"
Normal way. Ugh, that is offensive, isn't it? Like gay dudes are having sex the wrong way. It's bad enough she has huge amounts of white guilt, now she has to worry that deep down she's a homophobe.
"I mean," she continues, "normal for me. Not like this is *ab*normal. Not like people who do this are freaks." Wait, what about Jack? That could have been an insult to him, too. Why is she worrying about the gays before him? "You're not a freak, either, for doing it. For liking it. Nobody's a freak." She exhales. "But we can, right?"
"You know I'll stop if you want me to--"
"I mean forever. You're not going to keep bringing it up. If I don't like it, I don't have to try it again."
He frowns. "I have no desire to force you into sex you don't wish to have."
"See, when you phrase it that way I sound like a jerk for asking--"
"I apologize."
"Don't. Nobody should feel sorry. I know you aren't going to force me into stuff. So... do a lot of women feel weird about this right before they do it for the first time? It's not a bad sign if I feel weird."
"Speaking specifically of you, I would have been more troubled if you hadn't started to ramble before--"
"I am not rambling. I am on topic--"
He kisses her until she kisses him. "And," he says, "the important part is whether you want to do this." His thumb traces her jawline. "Do you want to do this? We can stop now."
"I want to do this."
"Then any jitters you feel should be surmountable."
"So... Good. I'm a normal lady. In your decades of experience."
"To be honest, I haven't had as much experience with this as you apparently believe I have."
"Really?"
"I had no interest in this until... an incident a couple of years ago, where I discovered it could be rather pleasurable."
Generally, she's not crazy about learning tidbits from Jack's pre-her sex life... and generally, he tells her anyway. So it's kind of suspicious for him to be vague. "Incident? With who?"
"I'd rather not discuss it."
"Okay... How horrible is this woman? Pretty horrible, I guess, if you don't want to talk about it--"
"Do you truly wish to know?"
She considers this for a moment. Considers the fact that he had sex with Kathy Hilton, almost had sex with Greta Van Susteren and this lady is *more* shameful for him to admit having an "incident" with. "No."
"Good."
"Were you going to tell me if I said yes?"
"No."
She nods. "Okay then."
"There's no need to be specific. All you need to know is that it's better with a woman." He kisses her. "Whom I care about."
"Strange place to pause."
Unless... No. Jack wouldn't have had sex with a dude. Unless he met himself. Like in The Time Traveler's Wife. Which is unlikely to have occurred to Jack as he's never disappeared, leaving a pile of clothes behind.
Point is, she is going to stop thinking about this.
And it's easy to do so, since he keeps kissing her over and over and touching her, and she likes concentrating on making out with Jack more than she likes imagining him having dirty sex with creepy women.
This... This is not going to be dirty.
(It is completely dirty. It would be dirtier without the fiber...
Shut up.)
This is not dirty. It's sex. A different type of sex.
Coinciding with her thought is his hand drifting down, his finger rubbing her but not entering her. She doesn't flinch or scoot away, so yeah. She can do this. She wants to do this.
She's not sure she'll like this. But she can stop.
So.
"Are you ready?"
"Yeah," she says. "Let's give it a go."
"Get on your stomach."
"Okay." She pats his chest. "Sounds like a plan."
Liz kisses him one last time before she rolls over. She rests her arms and cheek on the pillow. Jack positions himself over her, his forearms on either side of her chest and his legs on either side of her own. The first kiss to her back is soft, and the rest of the ones that follow as he travels down her body for another time follow suit. Then he's at her butt and still kissing her; the sentence 'so this is what I had to do to get you to kiss my ass' enters her mind, but doesn't come out of her mouth.
She should take a break from talking for now.
Unless she wants him to stop. Or he asks her a direct question.
She feels the bed shift; his body is no longer against hers. His legs change position as well, sliding between hers, and she spreads her thighs to accommodate him. His hands grip onto her hips and she takes the hint, rising to her knees. She scoots forward a bit to rest her hands on the headboard, like she's done before. For, you know. Normal sex. Damn it. Okay. He puts his hand on her back, guiding her forward more and telling her to move her knees back a little. She complies.
She glances at him as he moves closer to the nightstand and grabs the lubricant and the glove. Which... that's not, weird, right? It's like condoms for his fingers, and she likes condoms. Well, she's indifferent to condoms. They serve a purpose. A couple of purposes. She doesn't feel weird about them, is what she means.
He kisses her shoulder. "Tell me if you want me to stop."
She nods.
Jack kisses her shoulder again before he tells her to spread her legs farther apart. After she follows this request he gets in place behind her, though not directly behind her, as he straddles one of her legs. She tries not to squirm as she waits for this to get started, but can't stop herself from doing so a little as his fingertip, now covered with latex and slick because of a tube instead of her body, presses against her ass again. It eases in with the same gradual movement as it did before, but he goes deeper. And starts to rub her, to you know... get the stuff up there.
She has to think of this stuff more maturely. But she didn't start thinking of other sex in a somewhat non-squeamish way for a while after she started doing it with Jack. Maybe after a few times of doing it in the butt--
Being made love to in the rear?
That isn't better.
Maybe after a while, if they do it after this, she won't think about in such juvenile terms. What is she thinking? She still doesn't know what to call his junk.
She'll just be pleased with not considering sex a chore. Who needs to say or think sex words when you don't hate sex? Right?
So. Doing it in the butt.
Ugh.
She needs to grow up.
Okay. Relax. She wants to try this. She trusts him and likes him and this isn't bad.
He places a kiss in her hair. "Is this okay?"
"It's fine." She nods. "It's fine."
His lips travel between her shoulders as he slides his finger back and forth. He cups her breast, his thumb brushing back and forth over her nipple and, though she's kind of neutral to the finger right now, she likes the other stuff. His teeth scrape her skin right before he withdraws his finger. He stops touching her, she supposes to get squeeze more, you know, lube onto his finger... okay, there is two back there now. Okay. She lets out a breath and moves her not-straddled-by-Jack leg farther away. It's not painful, the feel of his fingers working their way inside her, but it's... weird.
Liz still doesn't know if it's good weird.
"Is this okay?"
"It's fine."
He keeps doing this for a while, coating her with the lubricant as he kisses her back, caresses her skin with his free hand. It's still feeling weird, but... yeah, this is sort of good weird? She thinks. She should wait to make a decision about this deal until he's got his thing in there.
As she's pondering this, he pulls his fingers out.
Her sigh sounds disappointed and, well, that's encouraging, huh? Though maybe two fingers are all she can deal with up there.
"How much longer until... you know. We move on. To the main thing."
"Not much longer."
His fingers are reslickened when they ease back inside her, and his other hand drifts between her legs. He touches her lightly, stroking her outer lips as she relaxes further around his fingers. He lightly brushes his finger over her clit. She exhales; it comes out as a moan.
He sucks on a bit of her flesh. Starts to rub on either side of her clit. "You're still very wet."
Yikes. Wet. That word is annoying, too. But, yeah. She likes this. "That doesn't have anything to do with... you know."
"You'd never have a chance of enjoying this if you weren't aroused." He moves his fingers back and forth. "You wouldn't be getting wetter if you hated what I'm doing to you now."
Jack slowly withdraws his fingers; stops rubbing her on the outside with the other ones. He's leaning toward the nightstand another time, tossing the glove in the nearby wastebasket before grabbing the condom. He settles his legs between hers. She feels his erection, not covered by the condom, against her ass, then not as he leans back slightly and, she assumes, starts preparing himself. She finds herself imagining him touching himself, covering the length of him with the lube and... it's kind of hot. Is that weird?
Jack would probably think it was a good sort of weird, in any case.
He's closer again, and the tip of his penis... cock. Something. (She's going to have to decide on a word for it soon, because Jack's right, it's strange to be doing new sorts of sex stuff with a guy and referring to his thing as 'his thing.') It presses against her but doesn't enter her. Liz's head dips down.
"Are you ready?"
"Yeah. Go ahead."
And so he begins to push inside her. Slowly, and he's not in much before he's pulling out. He's only slightly deeper the next time he slides in. Then a little more. He loosely wraps an arm around her, his hand resting on her stomach.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No," she says, though she's not sure she likes this.
She's not sure she hates it, either.
She's only sure that he feels... bigger. Not that he feels small usually, but now he feels bigger the way she must feel tighter and she doesn't know how to describe it. Doesn't know if she *wants* him to be bigger the way he wants her to be tighter, but it doesn't hurt.
She's not in pain.
That's good, at least.
He keeps going, keeps gently sliding back and forth as she tries to figure out how she feels about this. Her breath starts coming out in gasps.
She must like this. Maybe? She doesn't hate this.
For his part, he's making these *noises* that are different than any he's made before... well, not entirely different. But deeper and louder. One hand rests on her hip as his other strokes her thigh.
"Should I keep going?"
"Yeah," she says. "Yeah."
His groans become louder as he gets deeper inside her, and she feels... full. And weird. This is weird and she doesn't hate it, and then his hand's between her legs, fingers stroking either side of her clit. This is when her moans get louder, when she's throwing her head back. He kisses the side of her neck, buries his face there, moaning against her flesh. His hand is going much faster than his hips, and she likes the contrast. Loves how he's touching her, but she usually likes that.
And she wouldn't enjoy it if the other part were...
Bad.
It's not bad.
It's... Jack inside her this way, it's different. It's unlike anything she's experienced before.
"This isn't bad," she mutters. "This could be a lot worse."
He lifts his head up; ceases the movement of his hand. He's halfway inside her and pulls back a little. "Do you want me to stop?"
"No... I just... This..."
"Tell me what you want."
She exhales. "I want you to keep touching me, okay? Fast. And keep going slow. Keep your... you know, it slow. I mean--"
"I know what you mean."
"I want you to keep doing what you were doing."
"I know."
And he does, returning to his previous pace. He kisses her cheek, then leans back. She misses the feel of him against her, but she's too focused on the sensation of his penis... cock... member... trouser snake... let's say cock, inside her -- inside her *butt* and oh god this is so weird, good weird... maybe? Maybe this is the sort of thing that will make sense afterwards, but she doesn't *hate* this -- and his hand between her legs, how nearly overwhelming it all is, to be that bothered.
Yeah, she doesn't hate this.
She likes it.
Right?
She likes being dirty and, wow, that doesn't sound right. "I'm Liz Lemon and I like to get dirty!" = Not good. There's a reason why her commercial for that phone sex line was not super popular.
Still.
This doesn't feel bad. She doesn't want him to stop.
So she says it, mutters, "I don't want you to stop," more as encouragement than a statement. "I want you to keep going."
She rests her forehead against the headboard and lets herself not think. Lets herself relax as she listens to him groan while he moves inside her. Feels him inside her, still being slow and gentle and nice... and that's not the way to describe this. Nice, come on.
Nice.
She's not supposed to be thinking.
She dips her head down farther. He slides a hand up her back as the fingers between her legs lightly pinch her clit. Then again. She tenses before she relaxes, her orgasm rippling through her body. He keeps going, keeps touching between her legs, over her back, keeps moving inside her.
He exhales; his moans get rougher. "Tell me how this feels."
"Different. Weird. Good weird."
He groans her name reverentially, and she assumes that's more to do with the sex than him finding the phrase 'good weird' especially sexy. "You feel incredible."
Soon after that he's coming, his fingers pressing into the inside of her thigh. He leans forward to kiss her shoulder, keeps his mouth and body against her as he slowly pulls out. It's briefly weird to *not* have him inside her, filling her; she lets out a ragged breath. She lifts her head up, tucks her hair behind her ear before she turns to look at him. She's unsure what to say; she had a whole bunch of words stored up in case she hated it/ended it quickly/didn't hate it but couldn't handle it for too long, but wasn't prepared for it to... complete. For them to... finish.
So she doesn't say anything; only kisses him before he tosses the condom into the wastebasket and they lie down. For some reason, farther away from the rush of the sex, farther away from the moments immediately after it, what to say is even less obvious.
You were right that it doesn't have to hurt if you use enough lube. And wow, lube is a weird sounding word, too. Is there any sex word that's pleasant?
So... we actually did that.
Yeah. That happened.
Now that I did that, I really can't believe I did it. But... I did it. We did it. That sounds like I'm patting us on the back.
Eventually, after she's curled up against him and rested her head on his chest, Jack breaks the silence:
"Did you enjoy yourself?"
"Yeah... It was different. Weird. Good weird. I already said all that. But. I enjoyed it. And you... it was good for you. You enjoyed yourself."
His fingers lazily move up and down her side. "Very much so."
"Seemed like you did." She pauses. "I still like the normal way better. I mean normal for..." She sighs. Rests her chin on him so she can make eye contact. "You know what I mean. But I could do that again. Once in a while, I could do that. We could do that."
He nods. Smiles. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." She kisses him before she rests her cheek on his body again. "No problem. And so on."
END
For: nbckink
Prompt: 30 Rock, Jack/Liz, anal.
Warning: anal sex.
Spoilers: "Cooter," "Apollo, Apollo," & others, but nothing recent
Word Count: 4,251
Rating: NC-17
Notes: I was going to post this anonymously, but when something gets this long, I feel I may as well attach my name to it even if I feel a little weird about it. And I've felt weird about stuff I've posted before this, so all the more reason to go for it.
Summary: "She *did* eventually say, well... it was something she could try. Perhaps. If he really wanted to do it."
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Don't sue.
*
Jack's been going down on her forever.
Not literally, of course. And he has taken breaks. So. Point is--
ohcraplikethatjustlikethat.
yesgood.
Liz comes, with his lips around her clit and a finger inside her. He stays like that until a bit after her body goes slack, then starts licking her again. He removes his finger but keeps it down there, slides it a bit to...
Ohrightthat.
Her body jerks away from Jack's finger before he gets into what he was about to get into, and she pushes her head back on the pillow in annoyance at herself. Just... really? You knew where this was going. She scrunches her face up in apology as he looks up at her.
"I'm sorry... I'm not... You know. I'm not used to it."
"I'm trying to ease you into this as gently as I can; trying to relax you as much as possible."
"Is that why you've been down there so long?"
"Partly."
"Well, it's working. Because most of my body is relaxed. No, you know what? I am ready. I just wasn't expecting it. I was, I guess, but I wasn't... Just... try it again, okay?"
She actually meant *only* the finger stuff, but he goes back to licking her and, well, who is she to complain? (In this instance, that is. In general, she is usually one to complain.) One of his hands starts moving up and down her thigh when his other is... well, by her butt. Her body doesn't jerk.
She doesn't know if she should be proud of that.
No, she should. She's going to try a little something with her boyfriend and there's nothing wrong with that, even if it evokes the 'what what? in the butt' thing. (YouTube is the worst.) He likes it and he'll stop if she hates it, and that is good. And this is her trusting him and shouldn't she trust a man for once? It's a good thing--
Okay. His finger is inside her. Not going in too far, just the tip of it there, and the sensation is... weird. Good weird? Bad weird? She can't say, since there's not much going on. His tongue swirls around her clit, and his finger pushes in a bit deeper. He's not in much more by the time she comes, and he withdraws shortly after. He wipes his face off on the sheet before he kisses his way up her body, stopping at her neck before he rolls onto his side. He leans over, grabs the pack of baby wipes and uses one on his finger.
(Which, by the way, she found those in his drawer a while ago and thought, man, what is that about? Since he doesn't have a baby. She assumed it had *something* to do with sex, but at the time she was thinking masturbation instead of 'what he uses to wipe his finger off after putting it in a lady's rear,' but... Mystery solved. She wonders if she would have put it all together, would have figured out that he's into anal sex, if she saw the lubricant and gloves, but she probably would have assumed that his masturbation ritual had a bunch of extras involved. Which it very well might.)
Anyway. His finger has been cleaned.
Which is good. Because outside of any sanitary concerns, she doesn't want to get touched by a butt finger.
Okay. That was a thing she thought.
She must be serious about Jack to do this with him. She didn't even let Floyd do her on weeknights. And she's doing stuff, or going to be doing stuff, that involves lubricant and wipes and gloves for when he wants to put *fingers* all inside her, and her other boyfriends should be insulted. Because she was understanding about him wanting to try this with her. Okay. Maybe she wasn't *entirely* understanding. Maybe the first time he brought it up she told him, "No. No. No. You're not serious. Okay. You are serious. And no. No. No." But she *did* ask him about it later. She *did* eventually say, well... it was something she could try. Perhaps. If he really wanted to do it.
And then, they talked about it.
Which is pretty amazing, too.
Because she discussed this with Jack, had a series of conversations with him about anal sex. And only made a grossed-out face once, when he told her to introduce more fiber into her diet in the week before they decided to do it. And she made a confused face a few times... once right before she made the grossed-out face.
(Also: the surprised face. As in when he said:
"You may feel like you have to... go to the bathroom--"
Then the surprised face. Because she was too taken aback to be grossed out. "Wow. That is a thing you said to me."
"I'm trying to prepare you for all possibilities."
She nodded as her expression turned more neutral. "I get that. I appreciate it. Mostly."
"If you do, we should stop--"
"Sounds like a good idea."
"Then, after the feeling subsides, and if you wish to do so, we can continue."
She watched him for a moment, neutrality turning into curiosity. "So... why do you want to do something that might cause me to mention poop during sex?"
"I assume you wouldn't say 'poop.'"
"That is a bet I would not make if I were you. For a lot of reasons."
"It's a risk I'm willing to take."
"Well, it's good to know you don't love poop mentions while getting busy." He made his grossed-out face, which was less overt than hers. "What? There's nothing wrong with getting busy with ol' Liz Lemon. No, I get biz-ay. I do some serious boot knocking. Knocking them boots." He smiled slightly, but sadly she was losing steam. "Doing the ol' horizontal mambo with a lady. I'm the lady." She exhaled. Paused. "So?"
"Why do I enjoy it?"
"Yeah."
"It's a very... intense sensation, to have something fit that tightly around--"
She held up a hand. "Okay. Enough."
He titled his head. "Considering our topic of conversation, I hardly believe it makes sense to continue to object to referencing--"
She cut him off again. "It's that there's no good word for 'penis.' Even penis is... I don't know. Penis? Doesn't sound right. Same thing with vagina and all those words. There there's rear and ass and butt... which I guess you know all about."
She teasingly elbowed him in the side. He didn't seem particularly amused.)
And now, after all of those discussions, here they are.
He slides his arm around her, draws her closer. Kisses her neck before he presses his lips against hers. His hand moves up and down her back, over her ass, as they lie there, lazily kissing, and she thinks this is actually pretty nice for a prelude to something dirty and--
She has to stop thinking of this as 'dirty.'
But it is dirty, isn't it?
He pulls away, and he's even looking at her in a nice way, like when she does something he considers charming despite himself, and they can be cute, right? They can be a cute couple right before he grabs the lube and--
She and Jack are too old and cranky and weird to be cute.
It's got to be a good sign she thought of *that* instead of the sex. Maybe she's completely over her mini freak-out.
"After tonight," she blurts out, "you will have put that thing everywhere you could possibly put it in me."
No, she is not over her mini freak-out.
"I am not saying that as a bad thing... just as a thing," she mutters. "It is a thing that will be true."
He raises his eyebrows. "Lemon--"
"Before you say anything, I am not saying I don't want to try it. I am saying... We're going to do this. Have anal sex. I don't know why I said that like you needed to be told what we're going to do. And that's... maybe I'm feeling a little weird about it. But a lot of women get weird about this, right? The first time you... you know. Even if you're prepared, it can still make you nervous. Like doing anything for the first time. But this specifically, ladies do get a little nervous, don't they? Though I guess you aren't the first time of every lady you do this with. Are you? Don't tell me. And if I don't like it, we can go back to the normal way, right?"
Normal way. Ugh, that is offensive, isn't it? Like gay dudes are having sex the wrong way. It's bad enough she has huge amounts of white guilt, now she has to worry that deep down she's a homophobe.
"I mean," she continues, "normal for me. Not like this is *ab*normal. Not like people who do this are freaks." Wait, what about Jack? That could have been an insult to him, too. Why is she worrying about the gays before him? "You're not a freak, either, for doing it. For liking it. Nobody's a freak." She exhales. "But we can, right?"
"You know I'll stop if you want me to--"
"I mean forever. You're not going to keep bringing it up. If I don't like it, I don't have to try it again."
He frowns. "I have no desire to force you into sex you don't wish to have."
"See, when you phrase it that way I sound like a jerk for asking--"
"I apologize."
"Don't. Nobody should feel sorry. I know you aren't going to force me into stuff. So... do a lot of women feel weird about this right before they do it for the first time? It's not a bad sign if I feel weird."
"Speaking specifically of you, I would have been more troubled if you hadn't started to ramble before--"
"I am not rambling. I am on topic--"
He kisses her until she kisses him. "And," he says, "the important part is whether you want to do this." His thumb traces her jawline. "Do you want to do this? We can stop now."
"I want to do this."
"Then any jitters you feel should be surmountable."
"So... Good. I'm a normal lady. In your decades of experience."
"To be honest, I haven't had as much experience with this as you apparently believe I have."
"Really?"
"I had no interest in this until... an incident a couple of years ago, where I discovered it could be rather pleasurable."
Generally, she's not crazy about learning tidbits from Jack's pre-her sex life... and generally, he tells her anyway. So it's kind of suspicious for him to be vague. "Incident? With who?"
"I'd rather not discuss it."
"Okay... How horrible is this woman? Pretty horrible, I guess, if you don't want to talk about it--"
"Do you truly wish to know?"
She considers this for a moment. Considers the fact that he had sex with Kathy Hilton, almost had sex with Greta Van Susteren and this lady is *more* shameful for him to admit having an "incident" with. "No."
"Good."
"Were you going to tell me if I said yes?"
"No."
She nods. "Okay then."
"There's no need to be specific. All you need to know is that it's better with a woman." He kisses her. "Whom I care about."
"Strange place to pause."
Unless... No. Jack wouldn't have had sex with a dude. Unless he met himself. Like in The Time Traveler's Wife. Which is unlikely to have occurred to Jack as he's never disappeared, leaving a pile of clothes behind.
Point is, she is going to stop thinking about this.
And it's easy to do so, since he keeps kissing her over and over and touching her, and she likes concentrating on making out with Jack more than she likes imagining him having dirty sex with creepy women.
This... This is not going to be dirty.
(It is completely dirty. It would be dirtier without the fiber...
Shut up.)
This is not dirty. It's sex. A different type of sex.
Coinciding with her thought is his hand drifting down, his finger rubbing her but not entering her. She doesn't flinch or scoot away, so yeah. She can do this. She wants to do this.
She's not sure she'll like this. But she can stop.
So.
"Are you ready?"
"Yeah," she says. "Let's give it a go."
"Get on your stomach."
"Okay." She pats his chest. "Sounds like a plan."
Liz kisses him one last time before she rolls over. She rests her arms and cheek on the pillow. Jack positions himself over her, his forearms on either side of her chest and his legs on either side of her own. The first kiss to her back is soft, and the rest of the ones that follow as he travels down her body for another time follow suit. Then he's at her butt and still kissing her; the sentence 'so this is what I had to do to get you to kiss my ass' enters her mind, but doesn't come out of her mouth.
She should take a break from talking for now.
Unless she wants him to stop. Or he asks her a direct question.
She feels the bed shift; his body is no longer against hers. His legs change position as well, sliding between hers, and she spreads her thighs to accommodate him. His hands grip onto her hips and she takes the hint, rising to her knees. She scoots forward a bit to rest her hands on the headboard, like she's done before. For, you know. Normal sex. Damn it. Okay. He puts his hand on her back, guiding her forward more and telling her to move her knees back a little. She complies.
She glances at him as he moves closer to the nightstand and grabs the lubricant and the glove. Which... that's not, weird, right? It's like condoms for his fingers, and she likes condoms. Well, she's indifferent to condoms. They serve a purpose. A couple of purposes. She doesn't feel weird about them, is what she means.
He kisses her shoulder. "Tell me if you want me to stop."
She nods.
Jack kisses her shoulder again before he tells her to spread her legs farther apart. After she follows this request he gets in place behind her, though not directly behind her, as he straddles one of her legs. She tries not to squirm as she waits for this to get started, but can't stop herself from doing so a little as his fingertip, now covered with latex and slick because of a tube instead of her body, presses against her ass again. It eases in with the same gradual movement as it did before, but he goes deeper. And starts to rub her, to you know... get the stuff up there.
She has to think of this stuff more maturely. But she didn't start thinking of other sex in a somewhat non-squeamish way for a while after she started doing it with Jack. Maybe after a few times of doing it in the butt--
Being made love to in the rear?
That isn't better.
Maybe after a while, if they do it after this, she won't think about in such juvenile terms. What is she thinking? She still doesn't know what to call his junk.
She'll just be pleased with not considering sex a chore. Who needs to say or think sex words when you don't hate sex? Right?
So. Doing it in the butt.
Ugh.
She needs to grow up.
Okay. Relax. She wants to try this. She trusts him and likes him and this isn't bad.
He places a kiss in her hair. "Is this okay?"
"It's fine." She nods. "It's fine."
His lips travel between her shoulders as he slides his finger back and forth. He cups her breast, his thumb brushing back and forth over her nipple and, though she's kind of neutral to the finger right now, she likes the other stuff. His teeth scrape her skin right before he withdraws his finger. He stops touching her, she supposes to get squeeze more, you know, lube onto his finger... okay, there is two back there now. Okay. She lets out a breath and moves her not-straddled-by-Jack leg farther away. It's not painful, the feel of his fingers working their way inside her, but it's... weird.
Liz still doesn't know if it's good weird.
"Is this okay?"
"It's fine."
He keeps doing this for a while, coating her with the lubricant as he kisses her back, caresses her skin with his free hand. It's still feeling weird, but... yeah, this is sort of good weird? She thinks. She should wait to make a decision about this deal until he's got his thing in there.
As she's pondering this, he pulls his fingers out.
Her sigh sounds disappointed and, well, that's encouraging, huh? Though maybe two fingers are all she can deal with up there.
"How much longer until... you know. We move on. To the main thing."
"Not much longer."
His fingers are reslickened when they ease back inside her, and his other hand drifts between her legs. He touches her lightly, stroking her outer lips as she relaxes further around his fingers. He lightly brushes his finger over her clit. She exhales; it comes out as a moan.
He sucks on a bit of her flesh. Starts to rub on either side of her clit. "You're still very wet."
Yikes. Wet. That word is annoying, too. But, yeah. She likes this. "That doesn't have anything to do with... you know."
"You'd never have a chance of enjoying this if you weren't aroused." He moves his fingers back and forth. "You wouldn't be getting wetter if you hated what I'm doing to you now."
Jack slowly withdraws his fingers; stops rubbing her on the outside with the other ones. He's leaning toward the nightstand another time, tossing the glove in the nearby wastebasket before grabbing the condom. He settles his legs between hers. She feels his erection, not covered by the condom, against her ass, then not as he leans back slightly and, she assumes, starts preparing himself. She finds herself imagining him touching himself, covering the length of him with the lube and... it's kind of hot. Is that weird?
Jack would probably think it was a good sort of weird, in any case.
He's closer again, and the tip of his penis... cock. Something. (She's going to have to decide on a word for it soon, because Jack's right, it's strange to be doing new sorts of sex stuff with a guy and referring to his thing as 'his thing.') It presses against her but doesn't enter her. Liz's head dips down.
"Are you ready?"
"Yeah. Go ahead."
And so he begins to push inside her. Slowly, and he's not in much before he's pulling out. He's only slightly deeper the next time he slides in. Then a little more. He loosely wraps an arm around her, his hand resting on her stomach.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No," she says, though she's not sure she likes this.
She's not sure she hates it, either.
She's only sure that he feels... bigger. Not that he feels small usually, but now he feels bigger the way she must feel tighter and she doesn't know how to describe it. Doesn't know if she *wants* him to be bigger the way he wants her to be tighter, but it doesn't hurt.
She's not in pain.
That's good, at least.
He keeps going, keeps gently sliding back and forth as she tries to figure out how she feels about this. Her breath starts coming out in gasps.
She must like this. Maybe? She doesn't hate this.
For his part, he's making these *noises* that are different than any he's made before... well, not entirely different. But deeper and louder. One hand rests on her hip as his other strokes her thigh.
"Should I keep going?"
"Yeah," she says. "Yeah."
His groans become louder as he gets deeper inside her, and she feels... full. And weird. This is weird and she doesn't hate it, and then his hand's between her legs, fingers stroking either side of her clit. This is when her moans get louder, when she's throwing her head back. He kisses the side of her neck, buries his face there, moaning against her flesh. His hand is going much faster than his hips, and she likes the contrast. Loves how he's touching her, but she usually likes that.
And she wouldn't enjoy it if the other part were...
Bad.
It's not bad.
It's... Jack inside her this way, it's different. It's unlike anything she's experienced before.
"This isn't bad," she mutters. "This could be a lot worse."
He lifts his head up; ceases the movement of his hand. He's halfway inside her and pulls back a little. "Do you want me to stop?"
"No... I just... This..."
"Tell me what you want."
She exhales. "I want you to keep touching me, okay? Fast. And keep going slow. Keep your... you know, it slow. I mean--"
"I know what you mean."
"I want you to keep doing what you were doing."
"I know."
And he does, returning to his previous pace. He kisses her cheek, then leans back. She misses the feel of him against her, but she's too focused on the sensation of his penis... cock... member... trouser snake... let's say cock, inside her -- inside her *butt* and oh god this is so weird, good weird... maybe? Maybe this is the sort of thing that will make sense afterwards, but she doesn't *hate* this -- and his hand between her legs, how nearly overwhelming it all is, to be that bothered.
Yeah, she doesn't hate this.
She likes it.
Right?
She likes being dirty and, wow, that doesn't sound right. "I'm Liz Lemon and I like to get dirty!" = Not good. There's a reason why her commercial for that phone sex line was not super popular.
Still.
This doesn't feel bad. She doesn't want him to stop.
So she says it, mutters, "I don't want you to stop," more as encouragement than a statement. "I want you to keep going."
She rests her forehead against the headboard and lets herself not think. Lets herself relax as she listens to him groan while he moves inside her. Feels him inside her, still being slow and gentle and nice... and that's not the way to describe this. Nice, come on.
Nice.
She's not supposed to be thinking.
She dips her head down farther. He slides a hand up her back as the fingers between her legs lightly pinch her clit. Then again. She tenses before she relaxes, her orgasm rippling through her body. He keeps going, keeps touching between her legs, over her back, keeps moving inside her.
He exhales; his moans get rougher. "Tell me how this feels."
"Different. Weird. Good weird."
He groans her name reverentially, and she assumes that's more to do with the sex than him finding the phrase 'good weird' especially sexy. "You feel incredible."
Soon after that he's coming, his fingers pressing into the inside of her thigh. He leans forward to kiss her shoulder, keeps his mouth and body against her as he slowly pulls out. It's briefly weird to *not* have him inside her, filling her; she lets out a ragged breath. She lifts her head up, tucks her hair behind her ear before she turns to look at him. She's unsure what to say; she had a whole bunch of words stored up in case she hated it/ended it quickly/didn't hate it but couldn't handle it for too long, but wasn't prepared for it to... complete. For them to... finish.
So she doesn't say anything; only kisses him before he tosses the condom into the wastebasket and they lie down. For some reason, farther away from the rush of the sex, farther away from the moments immediately after it, what to say is even less obvious.
You were right that it doesn't have to hurt if you use enough lube. And wow, lube is a weird sounding word, too. Is there any sex word that's pleasant?
So... we actually did that.
Yeah. That happened.
Now that I did that, I really can't believe I did it. But... I did it. We did it. That sounds like I'm patting us on the back.
Eventually, after she's curled up against him and rested her head on his chest, Jack breaks the silence:
"Did you enjoy yourself?"
"Yeah... It was different. Weird. Good weird. I already said all that. But. I enjoyed it. And you... it was good for you. You enjoyed yourself."
His fingers lazily move up and down her side. "Very much so."
"Seemed like you did." She pauses. "I still like the normal way better. I mean normal for..." She sighs. Rests her chin on him so she can make eye contact. "You know what I mean. But I could do that again. Once in a while, I could do that. We could do that."
He nods. Smiles. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." She kisses him before she rests her cheek on his body again. "No problem. And so on."
END