30 Rock, General Series. Several Prompts.

Oct 29, 2007 00:23

Title: Like Pressing the Pause Button
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz, Liz/OMC
For: drabbles100
Prompts: 052. Fire, 039. Taste, 068. Lightning, 081. Blind, 020. Colourless, 086. Choices, 100. Writer's Choice (Confession)
Word Count: 415 + 280 + 500 + 315 + 260 + 340 + 500 = 2,609
Rating: R
Spoilers: Season One
Author's Notes: Table is here.
Summary: She thinks she might be lying to herself, a little.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.

*
Fire
*

At Jack's request, Liz gives him a stern pep talk. (He's in the running for a small part in a musical Donald Trump co-wrote the book for. The less said about that, the better.) Afterward, he just looks at her, and she just looks at him.

"I know what you're going to say," she says. "If I were any other woman in the whole wide galaxy, you'd be turned on right now."

Without a word, he moves his hands to her face and takes off her glasses.

"Want to have a look at those frames, huh?" she says, because there's no way he's going to kiss her. He made that clear many times, which is fine because she doesn't think of him that way (except really late at night when she can't sleep and thoughts pop into her head because she's tired and insane). "Know somebody in the market for a new pair of glasses? Because I can tell you where to get them. I probably still have the style number somewhere."

He cups her face, and before she can come up with some reason for him to do this that doesn't involve kissing, he leans forward and brushes his lips against hers. She sucks in a breath and reminds herself that she doesn't want to do this, so. She should really be stopping him. But what she does is open her mouth against his, which greatly undercuts her point about Not Wanting This.

She thinks she might be lying to herself, a little.

Further evidence: He's really kissing her now, and she's really kissing him. There's a whole lot of kissing going on and she is... not disliking it, in addition to not stopping it.

Yeah, she's lying to herself, a little. Or completely. Yeah, completely.

"So," she weakly manages after he pulls away, "checking that your mouth still works, huh?"

He smiles slightly. "You are just pretending to not understand what I'm doing, right?"

"Yeah. Pretty much."

Then she's kissing him and loosening his tie and they're on his couch, and. It's not difficult to figure out where it goes from there.

He doesn't get the part, but he claims he didn't really want it, anyway.

"Let's go to dinner," he says. "We can celebrate my advantageous failure."

"Yeah, okay. Sounds good."

He slides his arm around her waist and gives her a quick kiss on the lips. For the next couple of months, this is both his goodbye and hello to her.

*
Taste
*

Liz doesn't particularly like it when Jack gives her sexual compliments. Like how he loves the way she tastes, how good it feels to be inside her, other, more explicit things that she doesn't want to think about... which all make her feel more uncomfortable than excited.

"Just... stop it." She pokes him in the shoulder. "Actually stop it this time."

"I don't mean to irk you," he says. "I say these things in the heat of the moment, without thinking."

"You're complimenting my vagina on a whim?"

He looks at her curiously. "How much planning do you think should go into making such statements?"

"Um... I don't know. I just know that my vagina can't be all that great. I'm no expert on vaginas, but I'm pretty sure I have a fairly standard one."

Jack frowns. "This conversation is starting to make me feel uncomfortable, and I'm generally at ease when it comes to this topic."

"And this conversation is starting to make feel mortified. God. I can't believe this is what we're discussing. We're so... weird."

"To be honest, that's what I like best about us. Keeps things interesting."

"You have a point there." She nods. "Never a dull moment with us, even when discussing vaginas."

"We were only really discussing yours."

"But I was thinking comparatively, so."

She lets out a laugh, covers her face with her hands until he kisses her neck. Another kiss, this one near the corner of her mouth. His hand slides over her bare stomach, and she turns her head to kiss his lips. This feels good, she thinks. Not too much different from happiness.

*
Lightning
*

Liz is not dating Jack. Because if they were dating, other people would know about it. And they wouldn't spend so much time having sex. (Incidentally, she's stopped feeling weird about having a 'sex buddy,' as Jenna would say. She probably got that from Sex and the City, but that's not the point. Point is, she used to feel weird about it, but no longer does. She should have a sex buddy at least once in her life, right? Right? Plenty of people do it.

Right?

Okay, she feels a little weird about it. But only when she's not having sex with him, not about to have sex with him, not in bed with him, and not near him.)

Anyway. Liz is not dating Jack.

Which isn't to say that she doesn't care about him, or that she thinks he doesn't care about her. But they cared about each other before, and he wasn't her boyfriend then.

So she doesn't bother asking Jack if he wants to see the new Wolverine movie. Only her boyfriend should sit through things he'd probably hate just to be with her. It's crowded, so she finds herself sitting between a teenage couple and a guy who also seems to have gone to the movie alone. During the commercials, he glances over at her a couple of times. In the middle of the first trailer, he leans over.

"I'm Kevin," he says.

She raises an eyebrow. "Hello?"

"So it is weird to introduce myself to a woman in the middle of a trailer. I suspected as much."

"It's fine," she says. "I'm Liz."

"Well... enjoy the show."

She nods. "I shall try to."

She finds herself smiling at Kevin during particularly lame parts of the movie. After, they get some coffee and complain about the ways in which the movie sucked. He goes on a tangent about his favorite eras and series of the X-Men comics with the sort of passion she exhibits when she's listing the reasons why Princess Leia is the greatest of all film heroines. He's just so... so great, so geekily adorable, and Liz thinks, 'This is the sort of guy I should be with.' Kevin gives her his number before they go their separate ways. She doesn't mention any of this to Jack until a couple of days later, when he leans in to kiss her.

Two hands on his chest, she says, "Jack. Don't."

"Jonathan went home for the evening--"

"I don't mean... I don't think we should do this anymore. Whatever we're doing. I mean, we knew this couldn't last forever, right?" She hesitates. "And I met this guy--"

"Enough said," Jack replies.

"Enough said? Shouldn't we talk about this?"

He pulls his hand away from her back. "What else is there to say? Relationships should be ended as quickly and painlessly as possible. Otherwise, there will be some stabbings and a lot of resentment."

"Well, we are not talking about me right now." She pauses. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Of course. I completely agree; this was not meant to last."

*
Blind
*

A week after ending it with Jack, she calls up Kevin and asks him out. This should make her happy, and it does. Kind of. But Jack's not really talking to her and, when he does, he seems so distant. She misses him. Maybe more than she should.

"Are you angry with me?" she finally asks.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because you're not talking to me."

"I'm talking to you. I'm talking to you right now, in fact, as I have for the past several minutes."

She sighs. "You know what I mean."

He taps his index finger on his desk a couple of times. "I suppose I do. But it's true that I'm not angry with you. Am I disappointed with the way things ended? Perhaps. But that is life, Lemon. And I learned to deal with life's problems long before you--"

"Jack, please don't make a whole big speech. Just tell me how you feel."

"That's what I was doing." He lets out a breath. "In all honesty, I don't really know what to say that will improve this situation. You're my closest confidant; I don't want that to be jeopardized because of some hurt feelings I'll certainly get over."

Liz never really thought of herself as Jack's best friend, and she wonders whether he's been too deeply involved in their relationship or if she just hasn't been paying attention. (Both choices make her feel even worse about all this.)

"Jack--"

He waves his hand. "Really, this will all smooth over. I am not angry with you. That is that."

"Yeah, okay," she says, but he just looks... not happy. It's definitely true that she's seen him unhappier, and it's probably true that she's never seen him at his unhappiest, but even making him somewhat sad hurts her.

But.

There's nothing she can do. So she doesn't do anything.

*
Colourless
*

Kevin is a great guy. In theory, he's perfect for her. He's similarly bugged by even the littlest injustices, he likes to yell at the idiots on Hardball who dodge Chris Matthews' questions, he loves Star Wars and is still angry that Fox uncancelled Family Guy and yet never rescinded their pulling of Arrested Development. She should probably be ready to marry him, but... in reality, it's nice but not amazing, and she can't figure out what's missing. Jenna tells her it's that spark you can't define. Which is really not helpful. Pete says she's just being neurotic because she's actually managed to pick someone okay for a change and her brain can't handle that. Which is kind of mean, but might not be that far off.

Jack's opinion, she doesn't ask for. But sometimes he inquires about how things are going in her new relationship, and she just freezes. After the third time, he finally notes, "It's strange for me to ask you this, isn't it?"

"Kind of. But this will all smooth over, right? You said that yourself."

"So you do listen to me."

"Of course I do." Her smile is genuine, but it somehow feels forced. "You're pretty hard to tune out, Jack."

He smiles, eyes fixed downward. A slight nod of his head, and when his gaze again meets hers, his grin is fainter, but still there. "I suppose I am."

For a moment, she desperately wants to kiss him. She doesn't give in to that desire.

*
Choices
*

Jack wants to meet Kevin, an impulse which makes Liz nervous. When he insists on them having dinner together, she really starts freaking out.

"What's the big deal?" Kevin asks, watching her pace around the bedroom. "I thought you said your boss wasn't that bad."

"He's not," she says, mulling over what to tell him. Since honesty would only make this evening more uncomfortable, she settles on, "He just... He can be overbearing, especially when you're first getting to know him."

This is not a lie, at least, even if it's not the whole truth.

But when the three of them finally sit down to dinner, there's no real awkwardness. Jack is friendly, but he doesn't seem to develop an instant mancrush like he did with Floyd. And when Kevin asks questions about the business world, Jack doesn't condescend to him, which is pretty amazing. He's really trying to be nice. Too nice, even, which makes Liz worry that there's going to be some sort of tension at the end of the evening, that Jack's going to say something embarrassing or kiss her or who knows what else, but...

None of that, either.

It couldn't have gone any better.

Thing is, she's disappointed. Not about Jack being disinterested in stalking her boyfriend or not causing a scene, but about Jack not seeming jealous. About Jack not whispering, I miss you.

That's when Liz finally decides to break up with Kevin. Maybe she shouldn't be with Jack, but she certainly can't stay with someone she's not even a little bit in love with. This is something she decides not to reveal to Jack for the time being, as she's unsure about what to say to him. She doesn't know if ending it with him was a mistake; if this feeling of wanting him will pass and she'll find a new guy who can be right for her and make her feel something.

That's something she's just going to have to figure out.

*
Confession
*

One night, Jack calls her up to his office.

Without preamble, as she enters: "I think you should stop seeing Kevin."

She just stands there as she watches him refill his drink. "What?"

"I believe you should break it off with Kevin." He takes more than a sip. "And this isn't about me just wanting to sleep with you again; I don't believe in frivolous sexual relationships."

Liz scoffs. "You have them all the time."

"Fine. I don't believe in having frivolous sexual relationships with employees. Or women I'm in love with." He pauses. "You happen to be both."

Liz opens and closes her mouth a couple of times. "I knew I was the first one."

"I assumed so." He waits a moment. "Forget I said that." His voice lowers with irritation. "I should never drink vodka when I'm feeling melancholy; it only makes me honest." He downs the remaining alcohol. "If you wish, I'll change one of my more troublesome qualities. No, I won't. But part of me wishes I want to believe I would. That's not insignificant for me."

As she's trying to understand that, he starts grumbling about Grey Goose, and she decides to just absorb the Jack-being-in-love-with-her thing. It mostly feels like a positive.

"I already broke up with him. But not because of you, except... it was. I wasn't crazy about him, even though I should've been, and you're this guy I shouldn't be crazy about, but you're... you. We might be wrong for each other, but maybe what this is... what it feels like."

His frown deepens. "My ramblings were a lot more coherent than yours."

"You love me, but you can't let me be incoherent?"

"I love you, so I'd like to know what you're talking about, particularly as I assume it relates to us."

"I shouldn't have ended it. I should've admitted to myself that I love you." She says it in the same moment that she allows herself to realize it. "I love you," she repeats, because the first time didn't feel momentous. The second time doesn't seem to change the world, either. It doesn't even change the perplexed look on his face. "So. What now?"

"I must say, I was expecting rejection of at least a mild variety."

"Is this one of those things where you want me because you can't have me, and now that you can have me, you don't want me?"

"I wanted you when I could have you before; time has changed nothing. But I had a plan to convince you we're right for each other, one I assumed would take several weeks. And, in addition to making me more loquacious in regards to my emotions, vodka inhibits my ability to make new plans." He shakes his head. "I've had quite a few uncomfortable nights with many a Russian."

She shrugs. "I have, too, and I don't even have a weird relationship with vodka." She takes a step forward. "Just... take off my glasses and kiss me. That seemed to get the ball rolling before."

"You're not wearing your glasses, so I'll just kiss you."

"Makes sense."

They meet each other halfway. This kiss doesn't have the vague uncertainty of the first one, and it also feels more satisfying. More... right. Not too different from knowing she's made the right decision.

END

drabbles100 (claim #2), jack/liz, 30 rock, liz/omc

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