A broken Father's love.
Yesterday, I saw for the very first time my ex-husband put someone ahead of his daughter in the most dramatic way. I will never understand why when men get new girlfriends that the only person feelings that matters is the new girlfriend. Especially, from a relationship that has only been going on for three months and not the whole time during that
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He has a New GF that he has only been dating for 3 months at most. They actually only dated for a month and half and two weeks of that was just over the phone. Part of the 3 months they didn't see each other for a month, because he needed space or something... not sure really. A total of 10 dates at most. They haven't said, that they loved each other even. Have made no commitments. She hadn't even told her kids that she is dating him yet, because this is so new. It is the first women he has dated since we separated.
We have been legally separated for almost 4 years. We just signed finals this last week. We just filed this past month, because he couldn't handle it emotionally or financially until now. I was in no rush so, I let him do it when he could afford and handle it. I have been very patient when him for the sake of our daughter.
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We had made plans that since he was dating we would start cutting down on the time I spent op there. Which was my ideal. I knew it would eventually be an issue. We have already reduced the time by more than half. We made even less time for the holidays and more. We even discussed that in time she and he would have to understand that she would just have to come and spend time with me and he would have to deal with that also. He and her are best of buds. They have always been each other favorite person in the world. He has never her whole life even as an adult put anything or anybody over her. He even as a child let her interrupt him while he was taking to adults because what she had to say was most important. Definitely kinder spirits. Even as adults they saw each other did no wrong until now.
It was all good... until I signed the divorce papers and mailed them.
He decided that I wasn't allowed up there anymore... used his new GF as an excuse. Was already making plans to be with his new GF and her children for Christmas. Kids that doesn't even know he exist and etc. His GF has not told her kids about him, because this is so new. None of this came from her. It was just his excuse to turn dick on me after he thought he was in the clear and I couldn't take his things. Which, I never did nor did I ever attempt to. I just wanted away from him. Being with him was destroying me.
He didn't hurt me at all with this game. I was even willing to embrace GF (not friends) so things would go well when she met our daughter. He hurt my daughter. She saw it as he was breaking plans and promises without discussing any of it with her. She saw it as he was taking her mother away from her and putting everyone else over her without even saying one word to her until it was all done.
He never even told my daughter about having plans with a family for the holidays that he has not even met yet nor has been told that she is even going to introduce him to her children yet. His GF knew nothing of the plans.
He actually did me a favor. My daughter wouldn't come to Florida, because he made my BF a bad guy and was so depressed and needing coddling for 3 years she thought it would be betraying him and making it worse if she came. She is very willing now to come see me, now. Now that he knows most of this he has started trying to back track and make compromises as if he is the good guy. He thought she still wouldn't come here and would have me do without my daughter. Even told me she could just come see me... knowing he was why she hadn't yet. She has been going to college and is now trying to go to law school, so she needs to stay there. He has been doing so much lying and manipulation to get at me and show his GF that he is a hero for her... That he has totally forgot his daughter. Didn't consider how she felt and didn't even discuss one part of this. His daughter knows the agreement with the house and visitation and it was for his sake more than any body else. His GF figured also it was something that would be worked out eventually. She didn't ask him to take care of it in any fashion.
He is now willing to go to counseling with our daughter, because he sees that he has been playing games with everyone's emotions and not sure why he did it, supposedly.
When, I first wrote the post I thought it was for her and couldn't understand it since they had just met and had no commitments. They really don't even say they are GF and BF. Now.. I know it was all him and some game with me for some reason and to show his GF he would be there for her... I guess. I can't figure it out.
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She was even aggravated that he started trouble with my daughter and all over something that wasn't even a problem yet and something we were already addressing.
He has pulled a couple of stunts like this causing trouble. From almost his first date with her. He is trying hard for some reason to try and get me to dislike her. I don't. I don't know her to dislike her.
I am very happy he is dating and that is it why I was already backing out of going up there and etc. I had already started communicating with my daughter about her coming down here now and etc. It wasn't a problem for anyone. Two days before that we talked about it and etc. I was even the one that said, we need to start ending this now that you are dating. I think I put the thought in his head even.
He can't even give a reason now why he went crazy on me. He was almost in a panic about it. He was stirring up all kinds of drama.
He has told the Lady some big lies already. It's going to put my daughter in a rough position one day of having to lie for her father or be honest and cause trouble.
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