Proof, I'm not a liar kati
svsucowboy: well ttyl... see ya when u get back... mabe just mabe you'll be able to accept me as a broken hearted fool who still doesn't know if he is making the right decision instead of a complete ass hole?? which is what i see myself as.....
michelleann8705: no
michelleann8705: i need to ask you a few questions first
svsucowboy: k
michelleann8705: why did you decide to go back to kati?
svsucowboy: because she said that she was willing to change everything for me... is that true? i don't know...but for once i think that she might
svsucowboy: she still holds on... wether its childish, or not... but mabe its true...
michelleann8705: how can you know its love if you haven't been with anyone else
svsucowboy: i don't.... i just know that i don't think i have ever felt love in my life.... part of me thinks that i will never... like a long lost dream that never will come true...
or mabe i had barely felt it once... i only know that i'd rather be alone now, and i can't take that option... because it would hurt all parties.... especially me....
svsucowboy: mabe its what i need..
svsucowboy: u can copy and paste that and send it to all of them, too...in fact i insist
michelleann8705: omg...you've dug your own hole...i'm not going to show anyone else this, you need to tell them that yourself
svsucowboy: i know i have...i want to walk away from all of them in a way, move to state next semester and start over, but i can't do that... because i'm not a complete coward.... and i can't do that to myself either...
michelleann8705: I don't know what to tell you
michelleann8705: so are you back with kati or not?
svsucowboy: yes and no, we are like back to square 1, like we just met...
michelleann8705: i just can't believe you keep giving up and crawling back to her, i thought you were stronger then that
michelleann8705: kyle, let me ask you one thing...why do you keep lying to yourself
michelleann8705: you don't really love her
michelleann8705: believe me
michelleann8705: if you did, you would give her the world
svsucowboy: i don't truly love anyone, thats the problem
michelleann8705: does kati know that?
svsucowboy: not yet
michelleann8705: did you tell it to her today?
michelleann8705: *say it
svsucowboy: but i need u to do me a favor and send her this when we done, bc ur computer with out a mouse sucks
michelleann8705: your on my computer?
svsucowboy: ya
michelleann8705: at karas?
svsucowboy: ya
michelleann8705: why are you doing this to kara?
svsucowboy: i'm not doing all of it, i'm suddenly changing my mind of what i just told her again..
michelleann8705: what do you mean?
svsucowboy: i told her that i was sort of back with kati, but sort of not, but i haven't explained why, bc we haven't really talked... she is a capricon...and hates to look at challenges and work them out, exactly like me....
michelleann8705: you know how much kara means to me, I just can't believe you'd do that to her
michelleann8705: and you even said to me that you werent going to get back with kati
svsucowboy: i can't believe what i'm doing to myslef either...
michelleann8705: its not to your self, its to others
svsucowboy: i didn't but something inside of me is weak...
michelleann8705: no your scared to be alone
svsucowboy: thats why i'm looking to wicca for power
svsucowboy: but i deserve to be alone on all levels... i'm my worst enemy...
michelleann8705: wicca will not give you that power
michelleann8705: you need to grow up
svsucowboy: i know
svsucowboy: how can i?
michelleann8705: by doing what you want
svsucowboy: it doesn't happenovernight
michelleann8705: not what others want you to do
michelleann8705: yes it does
svsucowboy: the only way to see is to be alone... and to discover it myself...and i don't wanna do that... no one can do that for me and heven forbid if kati went a whole god damn day without being without me
michelleann8705: if you want to be alone, then so be it
michelleann8705: be alone
michelleann8705: why don't you for once be a man and not talk back to her
michelleann8705: ignore her if thats what it takes
michelleann8705: the more you lead on kati, the more you hurt her
svsucowboy: true i see it now, when not in her presence...
svsucowboy: i see that too
svsucowboy: and she wants me to go back and talk
michelleann8705: and the more you keep going back to kati and yet still hanging out with kara, you are killing kara
svsucowboy: i see that too
michelleann8705: and you probably will go back and talk wont you?
michelleann8705: you just want sex
michelleann8705: thats why you keep coming back?
michelleann8705: she took your virginity
michelleann8705: i know i did the same thing
michelleann8705: but then i moved on
michelleann8705: its hard, but your going to have to
michelleann8705: soon
svsucowboy: mabe so..... but i don't know...its possible
michelleann8705: kyle tell me the truth
michelleann8705: do you keep going back for sex?
svsucowboy: for sex and the weakness of not wanting to have people get hurt bc of me
svsucowboy: mainly for the second half
svsucowboy: mabe i need to walk away from it all
michelleann8705: but you are hurting kara more, if you didnt realize it
michelleann8705: kara has fallin for you so hard
michelleann8705: and kati knows that you will keep coming back if she keeps being persistant about it
svsucowboy: ya i see it, but its also ripping at kati so much...
michelleann8705: kati could move on
svsucowboy: right
svsucowboy: kati needs to move on
svsucowboy: kati needs to know that there are better guys out there than me'
svsucowboy: ya who of the two is lying the most?
michelleann8705: right there...you feeling bad for yourself is your weakness
michelleann8705: kati isnt going to make you feel better
svsucowboy: kara for saying that it won't hurt her as much, or kati for saying that she'll hurt so much?
michelleann8705: kara is really hurting right now
michelleann8705: i know she is
michelleann8705: kati idk about, i bet she is hurting but not as much as kara
svsucowboy: no, she had her chance... and i was still able to pry myself away...
i know she is, she's reading a poetry book, and also i heard her "crying" over it too...
michelleann8705: see
michelleann8705: you are hurting my love right there my sister
svsucowboy: neither know who willl hurt more...even tho they talked about it... a capricorn willl back down from a taurus i know i've been there...
svsucowboy: i know that i need to walk away from kati, at this point i know'
michelleann8705: then do it
michelleann8705: walk away
michelleann8705: never look back
svsucowboy: i also know that i don't want to walk completely into kara's arms yet, either....
michelleann8705: walk slowly into karas arms
michelleann8705: take your time
michelleann8705: spend time with her
michelleann8705: get to know her
michelleann8705: i know you will fall in love with her
michelleann8705: she is amazing
michelleann8705: and i know you know that
svsucowboy: i still don't know if thats the best for me yet, but i know that right now i need to walk my own path, walk my line....
michelleann8705: i know
michelleann8705: and then do that
michelleann8705: but keep your options open (kara)
svsucowboy: and i know i need to send this conv. to both of them to explain... because i can't do it to either in person because i'm too weak to do it to their faces
michelleann8705: i will
michelleann8705: if you want me to
svsucowboy: thanks.... do it...but we aren't done yet... u said that u had more than one question
michelleann8705: oh i have tons of questions
michelleann8705: i just have to think of them...
michelleann8705: hmm
michelleann8705: you promise you are done with kati?
svsucowboy: i think i am... if i see the light at the end of the tunnel, am i sure that its light from the sun or a train?? i don't know... until i reach my goal, but i'm willing to bet that its light... because of hope
michelleann8705: no
michelleann8705: you can't think
michelleann8705: be sure or not
michelleann8705: ...
michelleann8705: because you being indecisive is going to make kati think that she still has a chance
svsucowboy: thats true... i know that i need to move on, the past shows me something..(damn tarot cards are right from last night that the past holds a key to the future....)
michelleann8705: true
michelleann8705: see
michelleann8705: they don't lie
svsucowboy: thats what it is showing me... the past tells me that i need to stop living there and need to move on, u can only learn from your past and use it to make a decision on the future, god made the past not able to re-visit bc he doesn't want us to dwell there.... therefore i move on from kati....
svsucowboy: that makes the keep walking part evident, but the light at the end of the tunnel is discussable.. is it better?
you don't know until you get to know the person and get closer to the light....
michelleann8705: true
michelleann8705: so just walk away
michelleann8705: and i know when kati reads this she is going to be like tarot readings are retarded
michelleann8705: its just a game
michelleann8705: so be careful
michelleann8705: she is going to try to pull that since she doesn't believe
svsucowboy: yes she will and she also knows what the true power of wicca is, she knows, she will just not believe it... but things happen for a reason.... mabe "god" wanted it to be this way... she believes in that... but i believe in myself and i know that free from her influence, i decided this....
also know that she'll hate you bc you had a hand in it by asking me....
michelleann8705: she can hate me all she wants
michelleann8705: i told her over and over not to go back to you
michelleann8705: and to move on
michelleann8705: but of course michi is the stupid one that doesn't know shit righ t?
svsucowboy: well apparently u know more than i do and more than she does...
michelleann8705: because i see both sides of it
michelleann8705: been there done that
svsucowboy: okay...
michelleann8705: trust me
michelleann8705: i know you don't, but you should
svsucowboy: i will
michelleann8705: good
svsucowboy: i only see the confused me in the middlle with walk away on one side and try on the other... and me in the middle being pulled from both sides and not knowing which to help with.... and my heart can only hold on so much.....
svsucowboy: but i want to tie both together and run away...thats all i can see...
michelleann8705: then run away
michelleann8705: get out
michelleann8705: kara will find someone better
michelleann8705: and so will kati
svsucowboy: before kati goes to bed, lets turn the faucet on and give her something to read.... send this so far and we'll keep talking and send installment no. two....
michelleann8705: but don't push friendship on them so fast
svsucowboy: i know....
svsucowboy: but mabe thats what i need...
svsucowboy: a friend, too....
svsucowboy: because that keeps me from being alone....
michelleann8705: you know i'm always here for you
michelleann8705: but don't plan on being katis friend for awhile
michelleann8705: believe me
svsucowboy: k... iknow...
michelleann8705: kara i can see you just being friends right away
svsucowboy: its bettter that way... back off from what i've become so far....
svsucowboy: u wanna copy and send this or do you want me to?
michelleann8705: you should
michelleann8705: be the man and do it
svsucowboy: k
michelleann8705: it really isn't my place to say
svsucowboy: thanks....
svsucowboy: true
michelleann8705: no
michelleann8705: i need to ask you a few questions first
svsucowboy: k
michelleann8705: why did you decide to go back to kati?
svsucowboy: because she said that she was willing to change everything for me... is that true? i don't know...but for once i think that she might
svsucowboy: she still holds on... wether its childish, or not... but mabe its true...
michelleann8705: how can you know its love if you haven't been with anyone else
svsucowboy: i don't.... i just know that i don't think i have ever felt love in my life.... part of me thinks that i will never... like a long lost dream that never will come true...
or mabe i had barely felt it once... i only know that i'd rather be alone now, and i can't take that option... because it would hurt all parties.... especially me....
svsucowboy: mabe its what i need..
svsucowboy: u can copy and paste that and send it to all of them, too...in fact i insist
michelleann8705: omg...you've dug your own hole...i'm not going to show anyone else this, you need to tell them that yourself
svsucowboy: i know i have...i want to walk away from all of them in a way, move to state next semester and start over, but i can't do that... because i'm not a complete coward.... and i can't do that to myself either...
michelleann8705: I don't know what to tell you
michelleann8705: so are you back with kati or not?
svsucowboy: yes and no, we are like back to square 1, like we just met...
michelleann8705: i just can't believe you keep giving up and crawling back to her, i thought you were stronger then that
michelleann8705: kyle, let me ask you one thing...why do you keep lying to yourself
michelleann8705: you don't really love her
michelleann8705: believe me
michelleann8705: if you did, you would give her the world
svsucowboy: i don't truly love anyone, thats the problem
michelleann8705: does kati know that?
svsucowboy: not yet
michelleann8705: did you tell it to her today?
michelleann8705: *say it
svsucowboy: but i need u to do me a favor and send her this when we done, bc ur computer with out a mouse sucks
michelleann8705: your on my computer?
svsucowboy: ya
michelleann8705: at karas?
svsucowboy: ya
michelleann8705: why are you doing this to kara?
svsucowboy: i'm not doing all of it, i'm suddenly changing my mind of what i just told her again..
michelleann8705: what do you mean?
svsucowboy: i told her that i was sort of back with kati, but sort of not, but i haven't explained why, bc we haven't really talked... she is a capricon...and hates to look at challenges and work them out, exactly like me....
michelleann8705: you know how much kara means to me, I just can't believe you'd do that to her
michelleann8705: and you even said to me that you werent going to get back with kati
svsucowboy: i can't believe what i'm doing to myslef either...
michelleann8705: its not to your self, its to others
svsucowboy: i didn't but something inside of me is weak...
michelleann8705: no your scared to be alone
svsucowboy: thats why i'm looking to wicca for power
svsucowboy: but i deserve to be alone on all levels... i'm my worst enemy...
michelleann8705: wicca will not give you that power
michelleann8705: you need to grow up
svsucowboy: i know
svsucowboy: how can i?
michelleann8705: by doing what you want
svsucowboy: it doesn't happenovernight
michelleann8705: not what others want you to do
michelleann8705: yes it does
svsucowboy: the only way to see is to be alone... and to discover it myself...and i don't wanna do that... no one can do that for me and heven forbid if kati went a whole god damn day without being without me
michelleann8705: if you want to be alone, then so be it
michelleann8705: be alone
michelleann8705: why don't you for once be a man and not talk back to her
michelleann8705: ignore her if thats what it takes
michelleann8705: the more you lead on kati, the more you hurt her
svsucowboy: true i see it now, when not in her presence...
svsucowboy: i see that too
svsucowboy: and she wants me to go back and talk
michelleann8705: and the more you keep going back to kati and yet still hanging out with kara, you are killing kara
svsucowboy: i see that too
michelleann8705: and you probably will go back and talk wont you?
michelleann8705: you just want sex
michelleann8705: thats why you keep coming back?
michelleann8705: she took your virginity
michelleann8705: i know i did the same thing
michelleann8705: but then i moved on
michelleann8705: its hard, but your going to have to
michelleann8705: soon
svsucowboy: mabe so..... but i don't know...its possible
michelleann8705: kyle tell me the truth
michelleann8705: do you keep going back for sex?
svsucowboy: for sex and the weakness of not wanting to have people get hurt bc of me
svsucowboy: mainly for the second half
svsucowboy: mabe i need to walk away from it all
michelleann8705: but you are hurting kara more, if you didnt realize it
michelleann8705: kara has fallin for you so hard
michelleann8705: and kati knows that you will keep coming back if she keeps being persistant about it
svsucowboy: ya i see it, but its also ripping at kati so much...
michelleann8705: kati could move on
svsucowboy: right
svsucowboy: kati needs to move on
svsucowboy: kati needs to know that there are better guys out there than me'
svsucowboy: ya who of the two is lying the most?
michelleann8705: right there...you feeling bad for yourself is your weakness
michelleann8705: kati isnt going to make you feel better
svsucowboy: kara for saying that it won't hurt her as much, or kati for saying that she'll hurt so much?
michelleann8705: kara is really hurting right now
michelleann8705: i know she is
michelleann8705: kati idk about, i bet she is hurting but not as much as kara
svsucowboy: no, she had her chance... and i was still able to pry myself away...
i know she is, she's reading a poetry book, and also i heard her "crying" over it too...
michelleann8705: see
michelleann8705: you are hurting my love right there my sister
svsucowboy: neither know who willl hurt more...even tho they talked about it... a capricorn willl back down from a taurus i know i've been there...
svsucowboy: i know that i need to walk away from kati, at this point i know'
michelleann8705: then do it
michelleann8705: walk away
michelleann8705: never look back
svsucowboy: i also know that i don't want to walk completely into kara's arms yet, either....
michelleann8705: walk slowly into karas arms
michelleann8705: take your time
michelleann8705: spend time with her
michelleann8705: get to know her
michelleann8705: i know you will fall in love with her
michelleann8705: she is amazing
michelleann8705: and i know you know that
svsucowboy: i still don't know if thats the best for me yet, but i know that right now i need to walk my own path, walk my line....
michelleann8705: i know
michelleann8705: and then do that
michelleann8705: but keep your options open (kara)
svsucowboy: and i know i need to send this conv. to both of them to explain... because i can't do it to either in person because i'm too weak to do it to their faces
michelleann8705: i will
michelleann8705: if you want me to
svsucowboy: thanks.... do it...but we aren't done yet... u said that u had more than one question
michelleann8705: oh i have tons of questions
michelleann8705: i just have to think of them...
michelleann8705: hmm
michelleann8705: you promise you are done with kati?
svsucowboy: i think i am... if i see the light at the end of the tunnel, am i sure that its light from the sun or a train?? i don't know... until i reach my goal, but i'm willing to bet that its light... because of hope
michelleann8705: no
michelleann8705: you can't think
michelleann8705: be sure or not
michelleann8705: ...
michelleann8705: because you being indecisive is going to make kati think that she still has a chance
svsucowboy: thats true... i know that i need to move on, the past shows me something..(damn tarot cards are right from last night that the past holds a key to the future....)
michelleann8705: true
michelleann8705: see
michelleann8705: they don't lie
svsucowboy: thats what it is showing me... the past tells me that i need to stop living there and need to move on, u can only learn from your past and use it to make a decision on the future, god made the past not able to re-visit bc he doesn't want us to dwell there.... therefore i move on from kati....
svsucowboy: that makes the keep walking part evident, but the light at the end of the tunnel is discussable.. is it better?
you don't know until you get to know the person and get closer to the light....
michelleann8705: true
michelleann8705: so just walk away
michelleann8705: and i know when kati reads this she is going to be like tarot readings are retarded
michelleann8705: its just a game
michelleann8705: so be careful
michelleann8705: she is going to try to pull that since she doesn't believe
svsucowboy: yes she will and she also knows what the true power of wicca is, she knows, she will just not believe it... but things happen for a reason.... mabe "god" wanted it to be this way... she believes in that... but i believe in myself and i know that free from her influence, i decided this....
also know that she'll hate you bc you had a hand in it by asking me....
michelleann8705: she can hate me all she wants
michelleann8705: i told her over and over not to go back to you
michelleann8705: and to move on
michelleann8705: but of course michi is the stupid one that doesn't know shit righ t?
svsucowboy: well apparently u know more than i do and more than she does...
michelleann8705: because i see both sides of it
michelleann8705: been there done that
svsucowboy: okay...
michelleann8705: trust me
michelleann8705: i know you don't, but you should
svsucowboy: i will
michelleann8705: good
svsucowboy: i only see the confused me in the middlle with walk away on one side and try on the other... and me in the middle being pulled from both sides and not knowing which to help with.... and my heart can only hold on so much.....
svsucowboy: but i want to tie both together and run away...thats all i can see...
michelleann8705: then run away
michelleann8705: get out
michelleann8705: kara will find someone better
michelleann8705: and so will kati
svsucowboy: before kati goes to bed, lets turn the faucet on and give her something to read.... send this so far and we'll keep talking and send installment no. two....
michelleann8705: but don't push friendship on them so fast
svsucowboy: i know....
svsucowboy: but mabe thats what i need...
svsucowboy: a friend, too....
svsucowboy: because that keeps me from being alone....
michelleann8705: you know i'm always here for you
michelleann8705: but don't plan on being katis friend for awhile
michelleann8705: believe me
svsucowboy: k... iknow...
michelleann8705: kara i can see you just being friends right away
svsucowboy: its bettter that way... back off from what i've become so far....
svsucowboy: u wanna copy and send this or do you want me to?
michelleann8705: you should
michelleann8705: be the man and do it
svsucowboy: k
michelleann8705: it really isn't my place to say
svsucowboy: thanks....
svsucowboy: true