reflecting
i don't know what's wrong with me. perhaps it was the anticipation of having to work on x'mas eve. but i was so damn nua yesterday. ate x'mas dinner with my family in my PJs and then refused to take any pics.
perhaps it was also because i was thinking of the had times i went through this past year. i broke up with the guy i thought i would marry. he left me in tears and heartbroken when he found another person to love within weeks. he's now spending x'mas and new year with her in paris. in the months following the breakup, i've been falling sick very often. flus, fevers, rashes, eye infections. i've stopped exercising entirely, leaving my yoga package to expire. but Gaia has been very kind and accomodating so far. i've to try to extend my package again come january. i'll make it a point to attend my first yoga class in a very long time on the 8th of jan.
i've let myself deteriorate, mentally, physically and spiritually. i've stopped exericising, eating healthily, getting sufficient rest. i started becoming very negative about everything and this led to me becoming easily upset. which then led to an influx of illnesses and unhappiness.
it's been 10 whole months since the problems started.
i'm slowly picking myself up, refusing to allow myself to become even more pathetic.
i'm actually looking forward to 2007. you know what people say about new year, new beginnings. it's funny. people always ask me what i want. and i all i want is to be happy. but this pursuit is long and draining. it keeps slipping out of my fingers coz i don't know how to hold onto it. or i don't seem to recognise it when it's staring at me in my face.
perhaps it was also because i was thinking of the had times i went through this past year. i broke up with the guy i thought i would marry. he left me in tears and heartbroken when he found another person to love within weeks. he's now spending x'mas and new year with her in paris. in the months following the breakup, i've been falling sick very often. flus, fevers, rashes, eye infections. i've stopped exercising entirely, leaving my yoga package to expire. but Gaia has been very kind and accomodating so far. i've to try to extend my package again come january. i'll make it a point to attend my first yoga class in a very long time on the 8th of jan.
i've let myself deteriorate, mentally, physically and spiritually. i've stopped exericising, eating healthily, getting sufficient rest. i started becoming very negative about everything and this led to me becoming easily upset. which then led to an influx of illnesses and unhappiness.
it's been 10 whole months since the problems started.
i'm slowly picking myself up, refusing to allow myself to become even more pathetic.
i'm actually looking forward to 2007. you know what people say about new year, new beginnings. it's funny. people always ask me what i want. and i all i want is to be happy. but this pursuit is long and draining. it keeps slipping out of my fingers coz i don't know how to hold onto it. or i don't seem to recognise it when it's staring at me in my face.