I'm tired.
I mean strangely tired. I have over spent myself for the past two years. I've stretched myself so thin I don't think I can function anymore. But I do, I go on and on and on and on. I'm not depressed mind you, I'm just..... gone, disconected. I don't feel I have any spirit left, that I don't have much else to offer the world. What do I have to offer at this point? A few strange drawings, a quick witted joke, or maybe just a stab in the back if the mood suits. To quote, "I never thought it would be like this, I mean not for me. I'm the one that steps from the shadows, all trenchcoat and cigarette and arrogance, ready to deal with the madness. Oh, I've got it all sewn up. I can save you, if it takes the last drop of your blood, I'll drive your demons away. I'll kick them in the balls and spit on them when they're down, and then I'll be gone back into the darkness, leaving only a nod and a wink, and a wisecrack.I walk my path alone, even with everyone around me. Who would want to walk with me?" I've gone so far as to piss off the devil himself it would seem. Maybe it's just time to give up on it all. Give up on the chase, the games, give up on the scams and the danger. Maybe I should try to walk away from it all and not look back. I've tried that before though, it didn't work then, and it won't work now. I guess once you've buggered up your life as much as I have, all you can do is wait until it's over. And that's not going to be for a very long time it looks like. Oh well. Screw it. I'm going out for a cigarette and a shot of single barrel. Somehow those two things always help clear the head when you forget the victories, and only remember the loses.