The daily grind.
Call…
“911- What is your emergency?”
“I seem to have lost my penis!”
“Um…sir, this line is for emergencies only.”
“Emergencies? The disappearance of my penis is some sort of joke to you? I’m very fucking distressed!”
“I’m sure, sir, but we deal with-”
“People who haven’t lost their penis?”
“Look-“
“No, you look! I’m at a loss to explain this disappearance! I’m very distressed!”
“Sir, I’m going to disconnect you unless you have a-“
“Penis?”
“An emergency.”
“Look, just help me out. One minute I’m making love to my meat grinder, next I look down and…nothing!”
“Um, sir, a meat grinder?
“Don’t judge me! Dolls are expensive, real women more so.”
“No, I mean have you…checked the meat grinder?”
“…..Ooooohhhhh. I feel so silly now! I’m sorry to have taken up your time.”
Disconnect…
Call…
“911 - What is your emergency?”
“Ambulance please. I’ve lost my penis to a meat grinder.”
“911- What is your emergency?”
“I seem to have lost my penis!”
“Um…sir, this line is for emergencies only.”
“Emergencies? The disappearance of my penis is some sort of joke to you? I’m very fucking distressed!”
“I’m sure, sir, but we deal with-”
“People who haven’t lost their penis?”
“Look-“
“No, you look! I’m at a loss to explain this disappearance! I’m very distressed!”
“Sir, I’m going to disconnect you unless you have a-“
“Penis?”
“An emergency.”
“Look, just help me out. One minute I’m making love to my meat grinder, next I look down and…nothing!”
“Um, sir, a meat grinder?
“Don’t judge me! Dolls are expensive, real women more so.”
“No, I mean have you…checked the meat grinder?”
“…..Ooooohhhhh. I feel so silly now! I’m sorry to have taken up your time.”
Disconnect…
Call…
“911 - What is your emergency?”
“Ambulance please. I’ve lost my penis to a meat grinder.”