3/15/15 We made it one month
Today felt like I lost Brian all over again except I broke up with Chris. I just couldn't be with him anymore, he couldn't love me how I wanted to be loved. He was controlling and demanding, I didn't deserve that. At the same time we had so much fun together, he was up for any adventure as long as it was just the two of us, anymore than that and he was quiet and awkward.
I wanted to love him, I wanted him to be the one but he just couldn't make me happy. I gave it 7 months and I still didn't feel a connection.
I felt his heart break when I said goodbye. I promised him the weekend and so that's what we did, we spent the weekend together. First we talked and talked and talked and then we went to an Islander's games, then we went to Miller's and watched the UFC fight. When we got home we went to bed, I was exhausted. When we woke up we talked and talked for hours again then got dressed and went out east to the bird sanctuary to hold birds. After that we went to Maxwell's in Bayshore and had dinner. The whole time we were watching the lock because time was winding down. It was so hard saying goodbye because I felt the hurt in my soul he had as I was saying goodbye.
This was the closure I wanted from Brian, this was all I wanted, a talk but instead he was an asshole and cheated on me.
All I want now is for Chris to find happiness, use what I've taught him and treat someone well. I want to find happiness myself but it might be alone and I think I'm ready for that.
I wanted to love him, I wanted him to be the one but he just couldn't make me happy. I gave it 7 months and I still didn't feel a connection.
I felt his heart break when I said goodbye. I promised him the weekend and so that's what we did, we spent the weekend together. First we talked and talked and talked and then we went to an Islander's games, then we went to Miller's and watched the UFC fight. When we got home we went to bed, I was exhausted. When we woke up we talked and talked for hours again then got dressed and went out east to the bird sanctuary to hold birds. After that we went to Maxwell's in Bayshore and had dinner. The whole time we were watching the lock because time was winding down. It was so hard saying goodbye because I felt the hurt in my soul he had as I was saying goodbye.
This was the closure I wanted from Brian, this was all I wanted, a talk but instead he was an asshole and cheated on me.
All I want now is for Chris to find happiness, use what I've taught him and treat someone well. I want to find happiness myself but it might be alone and I think I'm ready for that.