Smoke til you drop!
As if the last entry wasn't enough there is one last thing I need to get off my chest and I'm sure I've talked about it but I've about had it with my mother. Her smoking is making me mentally and physically ill. I'm already fucked up from my Grandfathers death though I thought I was past most of my problems. My mother who thinks she can smoke where ever she wants will smoke in the house no matter who is around after my father told her no. Besides killing herself she is killing everyone elses air. No matter what I do she won't get it through her cancer soaked skull that she has the worst addiction possible. Watching smokers makes me angry though I'll place myself with some like Russell and Kat just so I could try and think like a smoker. Having that filthy habit for a short time wasn't enough. I've become very aggressive towards her mother. I'll insult her, I'll break her cigarettes, I'll smack her hand, I'll cough my lungs out no matter how much the smoke is bothering me and I'll even threaten her! SHE CAN'T LET GO OF THE CIGARETTE OR HER PAIN AND MISERY! I don't want to deal with this anymore but I guess that would be running away. I don't know what else to do and I would stay I don't care but I do. I shouldn't because it's not my decision to die. I wonder how long her life line has left to burn. However long it is the more time goes by the more I get pissed at her. Filthy smokers!