05
I would just like to state right here and now that being the one to find the egg does not make me its mother.
If someone would go out and fetch some tea leaves--and tobacco--I'll repay the favor as soon as I can. We're running low on both, but I don't want to leave Souji's side more than I have to.
[Private|Hackable]
All right. I know some of you can read this; I'll ask you not to, and tell you that if you mention any of this to anyone, I'll make you long for death. Especially if you tell Souji. The whole reason this is locked is so he won't see it, anyway.
___________________________________
I read that book Souji loaned me, while I was waiting for him to wake up. It took him a long time...too long. I had too long to think.
It's terrible, to look at those words. They're so...final. But it doesn't matter. Even if I'd started down this path knowing the words in that book to be absolute truth, I would have done the same as I did before. There are things worth fighting for. Worth dying for. If that's my future, so be it.
But if Sieben has taught me anything, it's that there isn't just one future. So if I remember anything when I go home, I'll do my best to ensure that the future I end up in is one where the Shinsengumi does well, no matter what it takes me.
Just like I would if I didn't know.
I have only one regret, and if things turn out the way they do in the book, the only thing that I'll add to that one is not being strong enough to change our fate.
...Funny about that ink spill. Seems to have covered up anything to do with Souji after a certain point.
How...convenient.
___________________________________
Dark hair on pale skin
Wet against my fingertips
Is wanting more 'greed'?
For your sake, I say
That I can't see the tears that
You've still left unshed
Those mangy rabbits
Ate my zori--and now what?
Briars in my feet.
With sake on trees
One would think it was heaven.
Well, that would be nice...
If we lived forever
I'd still want more time with you
But would you want that?
In an unkind world
One must must embrace some cruelty
To save what's nearby
Thin, calloused fingers
Rob me of sense and control
Before I awake
Every single day
You remind me I'm human
In the simplest things
I hate rainbow ink
Spreading across this rough page
Like too much sake
You see a monster
Looking at yourself; I wish
You could see through my eyes
I feel foolish, yet
Seeing him as a stranger
Cut me like a sword
If it doesn't stop
Knocking things over soon,
I will dock my tail.
I hate the owls
With unmatchable fury
Useless feathered rats
I dream often now
And in the days I wonder
How many are dreams
I'm a selfish man,
But you won't have to forgive
What you won't know of.
Nothing in the world
Is beautiful and painful
Like your fading smile
If someone would go out and fetch some tea leaves--and tobacco--I'll repay the favor as soon as I can. We're running low on both, but I don't want to leave Souji's side more than I have to.
[Private|Hackable]
All right. I know some of you can read this; I'll ask you not to, and tell you that if you mention any of this to anyone, I'll make you long for death. Especially if you tell Souji. The whole reason this is locked is so he won't see it, anyway.
___________________________________
I read that book Souji loaned me, while I was waiting for him to wake up. It took him a long time...too long. I had too long to think.
It's terrible, to look at those words. They're so...final. But it doesn't matter. Even if I'd started down this path knowing the words in that book to be absolute truth, I would have done the same as I did before. There are things worth fighting for. Worth dying for. If that's my future, so be it.
But if Sieben has taught me anything, it's that there isn't just one future. So if I remember anything when I go home, I'll do my best to ensure that the future I end up in is one where the Shinsengumi does well, no matter what it takes me.
Just like I would if I didn't know.
I have only one regret, and if things turn out the way they do in the book, the only thing that I'll add to that one is not being strong enough to change our fate.
...Funny about that ink spill. Seems to have covered up anything to do with Souji after a certain point.
How...convenient.
___________________________________
Dark hair on pale skin
Wet against my fingertips
Is wanting more 'greed'?
For your sake, I say
That I can't see the tears that
You've still left unshed
Those mangy rabbits
Ate my zori--and now what?
Briars in my feet.
With sake on trees
One would think it was heaven.
Well, that would be nice...
If we lived forever
I'd still want more time with you
But would you want that?
In an unkind world
One must must embrace some cruelty
To save what's nearby
Thin, calloused fingers
Rob me of sense and control
Before I awake
Every single day
You remind me I'm human
In the simplest things
I hate rainbow ink
Spreading across this rough page
Like too much sake
You see a monster
Looking at yourself; I wish
You could see through my eyes
I feel foolish, yet
Seeing him as a stranger
Cut me like a sword
If it doesn't stop
Knocking things over soon,
I will dock my tail.
I hate the owls
With unmatchable fury
Useless feathered rats
I dream often now
And in the days I wonder
How many are dreams
I'm a selfish man,
But you won't have to forgive
What you won't know of.
Nothing in the world
Is beautiful and painful
Like your fading smile