patron saint of gay pirates everywhere, she is
Robin Hobb is haunting me again, though this time not with motley jesters or golden-haired queens, but with her lesser-known series, the Liveship Traders trilogy. Happily esconsed as I was in a nest of reading material, I was suddenly and cruelly snatched away by a phalanx of sea serpents, carried away into the vast of the Plenty and upon it, the distant shimmer of the Pirate Isles. And I was helpless to resist.
In this new fandom--which is yes, new, because what have the Bingtowners and the Buckkeepers in common but a shared author and a certain tawny hermaphrodite, really--there are so many temptations. Such an immense wealth of characters, relationships, and settings; such intricately detailed canon and plot so as to make me cry for joy. Malta and Reyn (whom are agreeably very picturesque and yes, precious, I'M DRAWING THEM CALM DOWN), the best het couple EVAR, Selden the adorably scaly, Keffria in her beautiful self-discovering bravery, every single liveship from Ophelia to Paragon... ah, I could live and die with these characters, believing them to be real.
One genuine pearl, however, draws my eye in this endless sea of (admittedly very shiny) zircons. Kennit Ludluck, self-proclaimed King of the Pirate Isles, and his friend disciple reincarnation soothsayer Wintrow Vestrit, are my heart and soul and love. Especially, as you might've guessed, when coupled with each other.
Yes! Call me sick Ronnie, call me twisted Noa, stare in shocked dismay Asenath and DISPWNZ ME FROM THE FAMILY. I don't care. Kennit/Wintrow is the One True Pirate Pairing and there is nothing you can do to change the goddamn fact. I'm re-reading these books, and re-spotting these sentences, and just... wow. With the tensions, and the hate, and the adoration, and the ever-present taciturnity... Kennit is so rowr, and Wintrow is so innocent, and the fatherly-captainly undertones and the protectiveness and the Igrot trauma and just, just, I mean, guh. Was I saying something? What do you mean, calm down? I'm perfectly calm. Just completely mad about them.
The thing is, isn't it, is that Kennit's TOTALLY BLATANT lust for Wintrow is the most powerful incentive for the relationship. I mean, Wintrow is adoring in his priestly puppyloving way, and all I am devotely bonded to you by Sa's divine will, which is really another way of saying kiss me, you fool, and that's wonderful, but Kennit practically SPURNS Etta for Wintrow. He does UNSPEAKABLE THINGS to another woman while THINKING OF and COMPARING HER TO WINTROW. I cannot stress this enough. Especially since said other woman happens to be Wintrow's AUNT KTHNX.
So, Kennit wants Wintrow's virgin butt like the Fool wants... no. I am not going to talk about the Fool and virgin butts. But Kennit wants it REAL BAD, okay? The thing is, when Wintrow actually gets a spine and a libido, he proclaims himself disappointingly heterosexual by lusting after Etta. Of all people, the one singularly and irrevocably claimed by Kennit himself. Which leads us to our next point...
Kennit/Wintrow/Etta PirateWench OTP.
STOP. DROP THAT CHAIR. CEASE THAT IRASCIBLE, AGONIZED SCREAMING AND LISTEN TO ME. Washing your eyes out with bleach won't help, because the damage is done, and DUDE. It could totally, utterly WORK. Go read any section with Kennit or Wintrow, or, well, Etta in it. It's there, and better yet, it's OBVIOUS.
I can't elaborate much more without degenerating into incohorent, desperate squealing, or getting into longwinded and lengthy detailings of all the canon nuances which are practically begging to be included in stuff which I may or may not have written. Eat me, ban. I leave you, then, with trauma and the fast-growing seedlings of corruption, which will soon enough grow and bear fruit in your dark, mangled minds. The fruit of PIRATE SEX, YAAAAR!
[Maulkin_The_Wise has logged off 14:44]
In this new fandom--which is yes, new, because what have the Bingtowners and the Buckkeepers in common but a shared author and a certain tawny hermaphrodite, really--there are so many temptations. Such an immense wealth of characters, relationships, and settings; such intricately detailed canon and plot so as to make me cry for joy. Malta and Reyn (whom are agreeably very picturesque and yes, precious, I'M DRAWING THEM CALM DOWN), the best het couple EVAR, Selden the adorably scaly, Keffria in her beautiful self-discovering bravery, every single liveship from Ophelia to Paragon... ah, I could live and die with these characters, believing them to be real.
One genuine pearl, however, draws my eye in this endless sea of (admittedly very shiny) zircons. Kennit Ludluck, self-proclaimed King of the Pirate Isles, and his friend disciple reincarnation soothsayer Wintrow Vestrit, are my heart and soul and love. Especially, as you might've guessed, when coupled with each other.
Yes! Call me sick Ronnie, call me twisted Noa, stare in shocked dismay Asenath and DISPWNZ ME FROM THE FAMILY. I don't care. Kennit/Wintrow is the One True Pirate Pairing and there is nothing you can do to change the goddamn fact. I'm re-reading these books, and re-spotting these sentences, and just... wow. With the tensions, and the hate, and the adoration, and the ever-present taciturnity... Kennit is so rowr, and Wintrow is so innocent, and the fatherly-captainly undertones and the protectiveness and the Igrot trauma and just, just, I mean, guh. Was I saying something? What do you mean, calm down? I'm perfectly calm. Just completely mad about them.
The thing is, isn't it, is that Kennit's TOTALLY BLATANT lust for Wintrow is the most powerful incentive for the relationship. I mean, Wintrow is adoring in his priestly puppyloving way, and all I am devotely bonded to you by Sa's divine will, which is really another way of saying kiss me, you fool, and that's wonderful, but Kennit practically SPURNS Etta for Wintrow. He does UNSPEAKABLE THINGS to another woman while THINKING OF and COMPARING HER TO WINTROW. I cannot stress this enough. Especially since said other woman happens to be Wintrow's AUNT KTHNX.
So, Kennit wants Wintrow's virgin butt like the Fool wants... no. I am not going to talk about the Fool and virgin butts. But Kennit wants it REAL BAD, okay? The thing is, when Wintrow actually gets a spine and a libido, he proclaims himself disappointingly heterosexual by lusting after Etta. Of all people, the one singularly and irrevocably claimed by Kennit himself. Which leads us to our next point...
Kennit/Wintrow/Etta PirateWench OTP.
STOP. DROP THAT CHAIR. CEASE THAT IRASCIBLE, AGONIZED SCREAMING AND LISTEN TO ME. Washing your eyes out with bleach won't help, because the damage is done, and DUDE. It could totally, utterly WORK. Go read any section with Kennit or Wintrow, or, well, Etta in it. It's there, and better yet, it's OBVIOUS.
I can't elaborate much more without degenerating into incohorent, desperate squealing, or getting into longwinded and lengthy detailings of all the canon nuances which are practically begging to be included in stuff which I may or may not have written. Eat me, ban. I leave you, then, with trauma and the fast-growing seedlings of corruption, which will soon enough grow and bear fruit in your dark, mangled minds. The fruit of PIRATE SEX, YAAAAR!
[Maulkin_The_Wise has logged off 14:44]