Picking Up The Pieces
Mark, Maria, Florestan, Cadmar, Cali, and Miah begin dealing with the aftermath of the Dragon Lady mission.
Disclaimer: We do not own the PPC. It was created by Jay and Acacia--the original Assassins.
Rating: T for Teenage Angst
Notes: The song Cadmar is singing is Peat Bog Soldiers, by the Dubliners , as Cali points out. Here is a link, incase you want to listen, which I recommend, because it is a really good song.
This was co-written by Caddy-shack More stuff by Caddy-shack , HerrWozzeck More stuff by HerrWozzeck, and me.
Warning: There is some foul language in this fic.
Previous appearance: Dragon Lady, part 3
Picking Up The Pieces
A week ago, in The Lair
“You take Big Guys to the Adoption Center. You know how they feel about me,” Miah said.
“I still say that you’re exaggerating. There is no way you found seventy mini-Rayquazas in a single mission, and definitely no way that you managed to cobble together tech to create a cooler that was bigger on the inside on the outside like a TARDIS,” Cali said. All he wanted was a shower and some time to sulk alone. Seeing Tesla so close and yet so out of reach only served to remind him of his personal dilemma.
Miah shook his shoulder, jolting him out of his reverie. She looked concerned. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay? Maybe I should take you to Medical. You were out of it for a long time. And--”
Cali cut her off by shrugging her hand off his shoulder, and grabbing Big Guys collar. “I’ll take him.”
“Cali?” Miah said quietly. “Are you really all right?”
He sighed heavily. “I’m fine. Just tired. I’ll take the mini to the Adoption and then get some sleep. Good as new.”
Miah nodded, and said, “Ronan has been wanting to visit Colonel Shepard over in Lee and Ian’s RC. I’ll be over there for a while, so you can get some sleep.”
Cali nodded and tried a smile. He knew it wasn’t up to his normal megawatt standards, but it had to do for now.
He absently scratched the mini behind it’s ear as he walked, and it made a rumbling sound almost like a purr. “It’s simple Big Guys, I like someone that isn’t interested. It’s time to move on that’s all there is to it.”
The mini continued rumbling and butting his hand when he paused in petting it.
“Yeah, you’re right. You’re right. I shouldn’t get so wound up over someone before finding out if they’re agreeable to it first.”
The mini licked his hand. “Well, I can’t help it. It’s the first time I’ve ever looked at a real person that way.” The mini stopped walking and stared at him accusingly. “No! Tesla does not count! He’s a canon character.” The mini kept staring at him. “So is Doc Fraiser, so stop looking at me at like that.” Big Guys snorted and butted it’s head against Cali’s hand again.
“You’re a menace, you know that?”
“No, the menace is your partner, Agent Cali Still.”
Cali jumped and tripped over Big Guys. He looked around, gasping for breath with his heart pounding in his ears. He heard teasing laughter from directly above and behind him. He looked up and saw the agent that John Dont had tackled leaning over the bottom half of a split door.
Cali got to his feet, attempting to maintain what was left of his dignity. “How’d you know my name?”
“I keep up with who works with Agent Miah, as a safety precaution. Tell her that Omri Stone says banned from the Adoption Center also means not opening portals and releasing monsters on us.”
“So that line she keeps feeding me about being banned is actually true?”
“Indeed,” Omri said looking uncomfortable from the memory.
“So, I have one more mini-Steno for you. This is Big Guys. He’s a good one.”
Agent Stone opened the door. Big Guys gave Cali’s hand a final lick and then bounded off to join the group of other mini-Stenopelhabillis.
“Is one missing?” Cali asked.
“You’re still here?” Omri asked looking up from paperwork. “An Agent came by not long after they arrived and took John Dont. Good thing, too. It was a ring leader. Goodbye.”
Cali was in the empty, grey hallway when Agent Stone shut the top half of the door in his face. He shook his head. Miah sure had a way with people. Now that he was out, he didn’t particularly want to go back to his RC. Maybe he’d go to the Nursery and visit the kids. He hadn’t seen them in a couple of days.
0*0*0*0
Three hours later
Cali finally spotted the door to the Nursery. He signed in with Miss Carina walked down to the study room. Hannah was bent over her books, taking notes diligently. Kevin was making paper airplanes out of what looked like homework. Through the window to the playroom, Cali could see Kyle making a tower of blocks that was currently a few inches higher than he was tall. Through the window into the toddler room, Cali saw Helen using a tiny plastic hammer to pound pegs through a little bench.
Kevin spotted him first. “Uncle Cali!”
Kyle and Hannah both took up the cry, and Cali went down under their combined glomp.
A few hours later Cali kissed Helen’s cheek and tucked the blanket around the sleeping toddler’s shoulders. The others were already tucked into bed. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. Having someone to tuck you in was something he’d always dreamt about when he was younger. He stood watching Helen sleep for a few more moments before he quietly slipped out of the room, signed out of the Nursery, and headed for the theater to meet Agents Mal to watch Rango He’d run into her earlier on his way to the Nursery.
0*0*0*0
“Okay. There must be some reason I keep ending up here,” Cali muttered as he stared at the doorway to DoSAT for the third time since leaving the Nursery. He sighed and went inside. The first person he saw was Alfred Casey, the Tech who had been to their RC several times to fix the console after Castor had scavenged it for parts.
“If you have disassembled your disguise generator or any other part of your console again, you are going to be waiting a long time to get it fixed. We’re busy with actual malfunctions,” said Tech Casey.
“N-no. At least it was in one piece when I left several hours ago,” Cali said, unsure.
“What do you need then? CAD explode?”
“I don’t know. I just keep ending up here when I try to get back to my RC, so I thought there must be something I need to do here,” Cali said, beginning to regret coming inside.
“Well, don’t touch anything. We’ve already had that personification of light in here all day touching everything,” Tech Casey said, sounding rather tired.
“Personification of light?” Cali asked, suddenly getting an idea of why he had been drawn to DoSAT.
“Someone sent him through a portal earlier, but it was off so fast that we didn’t get a solid trace on who it was.”
“Is his name, Lights Shawn by any chance?” Cali asked.
“I should have known it was you two. He landed right in the middle of my workstation,” Casey said, sounding annoyed.
“Sorry about that. We didn’t know what else to do with him. Is he going to stay here and be a Technician?” Cali asked, looking around, trying to find the character.
“He’s from such a Victorian setting that he’s not a lot of help here. Actually we’re sending him to Agent Eileen over in Research. She’s been looking for a new lab assistant. I’ve just been trying to find time to take him over there.”
“Well, since I caused you all the trouble of landing him in here this morning, how about I take him for you? I know Agent Eileen, and I’m not on a mission right now,” Cali said, glad he could do something to influence Casey to be favorable toward them.
“That would be great. Now if you can just keep your RC equipment assembled for a few days, maybe I can catch up on things,” he said waving at the large stack of assignment papers in his in-box. “I’ve gotten him stabilized into a slightly less shiny form. Tell, Eileen that I’ll send the specs for the device to her in-box. There he is, over there.”
Cali followed Casey’s point to a nervous looking man in old fashioned clothing. The man’s skin was glowing faintly, but it was nothing like the brilliance they’d seen in the fic.
“See you later--hopefully much later--Casey.”
Casey waved at him without looking up from the tangle of parts and wires, he was already working on again.
0*0*0*0
Currently...
Traveling through HQ was usually an annoying experience. There were few times where an agent would find something they would actually like, aside from their destination. In the odd chance that an agent DID find some fun diversion in the halls, traffic in the halls could expect to be backed up, and there was a high chance that security would have to be involved.
Agent Cadmar, back from having her, yes, HER check-up in Medical. The doctors had fixed some problems inside her, something about the Author Wraith rearranging some organs. Luckily she had gotten to HQ before something happened, even if six days was a long time to not notice anything wrong.
As the SO had said, the doctors fixed anything life threatening, and made sure she wouldn’t keel over from the mass of scarring from the mission. Learning that using ashes in tattoos was an actual practise on Earth was a surprise. A surprise that left Cadmar so happy that she left Medical more sullen then when she entered.
Cadmar was currently lounging on a couch, in a small rest area she had found in her brooding travels of HQ. As luck would have it, it also had a vending machine that dispensed free drinks. Upon finding that it has cold beer, Cadmar was all too happy to make use of it, which brings us to now, where she was singing loudly in a drunken warble that was making any passing agent cringe.
“~Far and wide as the eye can wander, Heath and bog are everywhere! Not a bird sings out to cheer us, Oaks are standing, gaunt and bare!~” Cadmar finished off another can of beer, threw it into a growing pile, and opened another one using her teeth. Had she not been so depressed, she would have thought it was cool.
“~We are the PPC Agents! We're marching with our CADs! To the badfics!~” Cadmar hiccuped loudly.
“~Up and down the guards are pacing, No one, no one can get through! Flight would mean a sure death facing, Guns and barbed wire greet our view!~” Another empty can was tossed in the pile, another opened.
“~We are the PPC Agents! We're marching with our Cads! To the Mary Sues!~” Cadmar started singing more softly, losing any sense of merriment the drinking had given.
“~But for us there is no complaining, Winter will in time be past, One day we will cry rejoicing, "Homeland dear, you're mine at last~...” Cadmar finished in a whisper.
0*0*0*0
Cali was bone tired. He’d dropped Lights Shawn off with Agent Eileen, and then they’d been locked in for a few hours when an experiment had gone haywire. He heard someone singing. At first he thought it was Peat Bog Soldiers by the Dubliners, but as he followed the sound, he realized that the words of the chorus had been filked to fit the PPC. He turned a corner and saw a lounge that he’d never noticed before. There was a canned drink dispenser, which a very tall woman wearing ill-fitting clothes was retrieving a beer from. From the looks of the pile of cans, she’d been there a while.
Cali took a step closer to the woman and sang the last line of the song, using her filked words. “Then will the Agent march no more with their CADs to the badfics.” The woman whirled around, stumbled, and fell into the couch face-first.
“Mmph!”
Cali noticed a tattoo on the back of her neck that looked like script writing, but he couldn’t quite make out what it said. He approached cautiously, so as to not startle her. When he was just out of reach, he said, “Miss? Miss, can I sit here beside you?”
0*0*0*0
Cadmar was still reeling from the surprise of having someone sneak up on her, singing with her no less.
“Miss? Miss, can I sit here beside you?”
Oh yeah, this was off to a fine start. Some blue haired guy dressed like a commando sneaking up behind her, singing and being all polite. Musical Ninja Commando Butlers. You never see them coming until they’re serving you tea, or singing you something.
“Yeah, sure. Go ahead.” Cadmar flipped over and moved the hair out of her face. Such long hair, probably should get it cut soon. Maybe the butler cut hair too? Oh! Maybe he’d cut her hair while singing! “Sorry about that! I never had to try and spot Musical Ninja Commando Butlers before.”
“Um, o-okay. So...would you mind some singing company?” Cali said, not sure how far to press the woman, but pretty sure that variations of ‘talk about your problems’ wouldn’t be welcomed.
Cadmar used her hair to hide her face a bit. Yeah, awkwardness was hitting like a brick. “I ah, don’t really know any other songs. I only know this because...because....soemone taught me, I think.” Cadmar belched and giggled.
Cali adjusted his sunglasses. “Hi, I’m Cali. It kind of looks like you’re having a bad day.”
Cadmar snorted. “Yeah. Last mission was horrible, got possessed, tossed around as the Sue, had to act like a bitch to all the canons, got tossed with a long term punishment by the SO.”
“That’s terrible. You made it back to HQ, though,” Cali said.
“Yeah, that is good I guess.” Cadmar reached down and grabbed the unopened beer she had dropped. Opening it proved a mistake as it sprayed her heavily. “Aw! Ick! I JUST got these clothes too!”
Cali pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to the other agent. “So what is your RC number? You could probably use a change of clothes and some rest.”
“So you’re a Hero Musical Ninja Commando Butler? How do you find the time to sleep?” Cadmar wiped off her face. “Oh, I wanted to ask you, do you cut hair? This long stuff is bugging the crap outta me.” Cadmar moved the hair to one side to wipe fizz off of her shoulder, while unintentionally giving Cali a better look at the tattoo on the back of her neck.
“I’m no hero. I just play one on TV.” Cali took a good look at her hair and the tattoo. “Well, I could cut your hair, but it might end up looking like mine. Alecto Carrow, huh? Is that HPverse?”
Cadmar cursed and threw her hair to the other side, wiping fizz from the other side. “Yeah...The Sue had a band of freedom fighters, who were a huge threat to Voldemort. Got caught by the Carrows, who thought it would be hilarious to carve their names into the back of her neck and pour ashes of her friends into the wounds before closing them.” Cadmar sighed deeply. “Never mistreating a Crash Dummy again.”
“Why would anyone...?”
“Oh, because it makes a tragic backstory, don’t you know? Now that I think about it, it’s actually pretty cool to trace them.” Cadmar belched again, while tracing her finger through the words on the back of her neck, showing Cali, “You see, all the stuff is just the tiniest bit indented into the skin, like a track or something!”
Cali looked at the pile of cans. “Huh. Here, let me help you.” Cali produced another wet wipe and wiped some left over foam from her forehead.
“Thanks...hey, I just remembered, I got this tattoo on my back as well. Apparently torturers also give bitchin Celtic tattoos, check it out.!” Cadmar turned away form Cali and lifted up the back of her shirt all the way up.
Cali blushed all the way to the tips of his ears. “Uu-um.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat before he continued. “V-very nice. Uh, Could, uh, could I t--no, no that’s wrong.” Cali turned his head before he continued. “I-interesting design.”
Cadmar let the shirt fall back into place. “Yeah! It’s even better because my name is Celtic too!” Cadmar looked at Cali and squinted. “Hey, you got sunglasses on. How can a ninja wear sunglasses when they have to sneak around at night?”
“I always wear them,” Cali said with his head still turned away.
“Why?” Cadmar leaned toward Cali. “Is it because your eyes shoot lasers? Or..or maybe you don’t have eyes at all!” Cadmar slipped on the couch and crashed into Cali’s legs.
“N-n-no. My eyes are there, and they don’t do anything as cool as shooting lasers. Let me help you up.” Cali tried to grab her under the arms to pull her back up onto the couch.
Cadmar started laughing and rolled off of the couch, covering her chest. “T-that tickles!”
“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. A hand up?” Cali said, offering a hand to the woman.
Cadmar closed her eyes and shook her head. “Nah, I think I’ll just take a nap here actually...” she said with a yawn.
“Come on,” Cali said, grabbing her arm and pulling her arm over his shoulder. “I’ll take you to my RC. You can have my bed, and I’ll take the floor. My partner has a great hangover cure.” He hauled her to her feet, and looked again at the pile of cans. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to need it.”
“I like hangover cures,’ Cadmar mumbled. “I keep having nightmares about the possession, but drinking makes them go away.” Cadmar’s head was now resting on Cali’s shoulder. “You’re commmmfy...”
“Aw man, you’re a lot bigger than I am, if you pass out, we’re stuck. Come on, now. Talk to me.”
“Mnn, about what? Heehee, I AM bigger then you, you’re really strong though.”
“Eh, how about telling me about yourself,” Cali said, struggling a bit to keep the two of them upright.
“I like anime, ever seen Black Lagoon? It’s all sorts of cool. Ooh! And then there’s Revy...” Cadmar sighed. “She’s really preeeeetty.”
“I’ve never seen much anime. Pretty, huh? Like you?”
Cadmar snorted. “I’m not pretty. You should see my partner, she’s pretty...I think...”
Cali staggered a bit, but kept the two of them upright. “I bet she’s great then.”
“Yeah, she’s the best. After I was possessed she kept helping me after the nightmares.” Cadmar opened her eyes and looked around sleepily. “I like her...a lot...Hey, where are we going again?”
“The Lair. So, What is your partner’s name? It sounds like you two are pretty close, and I should send her a message, so she won’t worry. Mine would threaten to skin me alive if I ever went missing.”
“She sounds like she’s your mom or something.” Cadmar giggled and snuggled into Cali’s shoulder. “I’ma sleeep nowww...”
“Heh. She does sometimes, doesn’t she? So what was y--” *thud* “Ow. What did we run into? Oh. We’re here.” Cali pushed the door open, and dragged her inside.
Cadmar reply came in a half coherent slur. “Hehehee...you always take girls home..?” Cadmar’s head lolled forward and she began snoring.
Cali’s blushed, but his impending stammer was cut off by the woman going boneless. He staggered. Minis scattered. He managed to mostly avoid piles of Miah’s things in the floor. A moment later he managed to get out a breathless, “Help.”
The minis ganged up and rolled her off. He groaned and pulled a pointy shoe from underneath him. “Owww. Let’s get her in the bed, guys.”
0*0*0*0
In RC 1810
“You know, I think you were right about this franchise being quite interesting.”
“Oh? Is it because of what’s been going down throughout this movie?”
“I believe so. The metaphorical underpinnings are quite fascinating, and their realization is… nothing short of obvious. Still, it is quite interesting.”
Eusabius mentioned this just as the others in the group moved on. Both agents were stuck smack in the middle of Saw II, watching Jigsaw give his debriefing to Xavier as Daniel Matthews moved the mattress to reveal the needle pit trap.
“Yeah,” said Florestan. “This is honestly one of the cooler traps of the franchise. The needle pit trap has gotta be bad for everybody’s health.”
“Indeed,” mentioned Eusabius, looking on as Xavier got angry and dropped Amanda into the needle pit.
It was at this extremely inopportune time that the door opened, Shumann letting out a very annoyed shriek as another agent entered. This got both Disentanglers’ attentions, and they looked to see Zerenze ducking into the RC. The Sangheili didn’t look like he was faring too well, however, as his eyes were rather wide and he looked like he had run the entire way to their response center.
“Zerenze?” asked Eusabius. “We were not expecting you.”
Florestan bent over, picked up the remote, and paused the movie as soon as he could. “Yeah, what’s up?” he asked.
“Sorry,” said the Elite. “There was something pretty big that happened in HQ recently. I thought to tell you.”
“Really?” asked Florestan. “Why?”
“It involves your friends from RC 481516234277. Something… I don’t really know how to describe it, but I don’t think it can be good.”
At this, the more impetuous agent sat up, a somewhat frightened expression shape on his face. “What happened?”
“I don’t know any of the details,” replied Zerenze. “But I was walking through HQ while running an errand for DoSAT when I saw this gathering of Dandelions marching through the halls. They were parading something like seven people through in handcuffs. They had four people I didn’t recognize. But when I paused… I saw Mark and… I assume it was Cadmar, I don’t know, he looked extremely different from how he normally is… I assume Maria was also with them. She was the vampire with the cat suit, right? Anyway, I saw them all being hauled along by the Dandelions, along with everyone else I didn’t recognize.”
With this, Florestan leapt off the couch. “W… What?” he asked. “They were being led by… in handcuffs…?”
The Elite nodded. “From the look on their faces… the dandelions probably weren’t pleased…”
“Oh… Oh, fuck…”
“Is something the matter, Florestan?” asked Eusabius.
“I… I think so,” said the younger agent, nodding as he lightly bit on his lower lip. “The dandelions are never seen in HQ except if something really crazy has happened with agents… And if Maria, Mark, and Cadmar were in handcuffs… Shit, this means they were probably being taken to the Sunflower Official directly! Oh, God, if that were true…”
He panted for a second or two before he reached over to grab his fedora from the nearby table. He fixed it on his head, and then subsequently walked over to the door.
“Eusabius, I think we’re gonna have to postpone this movie-watching marathon a bit,” he said, fixing his flash badge against his uniform. “I need to make sure Maria is all right. Don’t wait for me to get back to finish Saw II. I might be gone for a while.”
“I understand,” replied Eusabius with a nod. “Should I wait for you to return before watching Saw III, or…?”
“Don’t worry about that yet,” replied the younger agent. “I’ve already seen all the movies, so… I know what goes down.” The younger Disentangler nodded to Zerenze. “Thank you, Zerenze.”
With this, the Disentangler quickly exited RC 1810, brushing past Zerenze and quickly walking out. This left the DoSAT agent to blink as the RC door closed behind him.
“I… I guess he really cares about Maria,” he said.
“I assume it is only natural,” replied Eusabius with a nod. “You should return to DoSAT. Thank you, Zerenze.”
“Of course, Eusabius.” With this, the DoSAT agent left the room.
0*0*0*0
Miah stalked through the halls of HQ. Maria and Mark hadn’t seen Cadmar since they’d left her in the SO’s office. Cadmar had already been gone from Medical when Miah had gotten there looking for her. After wandering the hallways for a few hours, she decided to recruit help. Cali was shockingly good at the wishful thinking needed for successfully locating things in HQ. Come to think of it, she needed to set him to looking for the pool someday. She shook her head. No, now she needed to get to--”Ow.”
She rubbed her head and looked up to see what she’d run into. Of course, The Lair. She opened the door, suddenly feeling guilty for not thinking to contact Cali sooner. They’d been gone for over a week. He was probably worried sick. She was about to shout for him, when Ronan glomped her legs, and scrambled up to her shoulder.
“Wh--” she began, but he cut her off with a hand over her mouth, and a finger over his lips in a shushing motion. She began again in a whisper. “What’s going on, Ronan?”
The mini-Wraith pointed to the open doorway of Cali’s room. Miah took a step toward it and spotted Cali’s feet and legs where he was sprawled in the floor. Fear gripped her, and she ran forward, only to be stopped at the doorway by Hauk’Tauri and Lt. Col. Samantha Cater, both of whom, where shushing her. She took a closer look and realized that Cali was sleeping on a pallet in the floor. An even closer look, and Miah realized that there was someone sleeping in Cali’s bed. Someone with long, brown hair, and a tattoo...on her neck... Miah smacked her forehead. All this time looking, and Cali had already gotten Cadmar into the RC.
She sat down at the console and sent Mark and Maria a message saying that Cadmar was sleeping in her RC, so they wouldn’t go looking for her. Before Miah could get too bored waiting for someone to wake up, she heard movement. A moment later, Cali staggered into the room rubbing his hand through his hair sleepily.
He went to the fridge and pulled out a nutrition shake, and leaned against the counter before popping the top. He yawned wide enough that Miah thought she saw his tonsils. He took a drink, and then finally noticed Miah sitting at the console. He inhaled his drink and choked. Miah found a towel and handed it to him when he caught his breath.
“Hey, Miah,” he finally said.
She smiled mischievously, “So I see that I’m gone a week, and you find strange girls to bring home.”
He almost choked again. “No! She was in a lounge drunk. I couldn’t even get her name out of her, so I brought her here to sleep it off.”
“You really--” Miah began.
“Wait a week? What are you talking about?” Cali asked, confused.
“I was gone for over a week, Cali. I’m sorry for leaving that long, but that mission had some pretty bad turns.” Miah grimaced.
“You couldn’t have been gone for a week. I was only gone from the RC for a few hours,” Cali said looking confused.
“Where were you?” Miah asked.
“I dropped off the mini-steno, visited the kids, tried to watch a movie with Kaliel/Maeryn, but had to MST this terrible Sanctuary fic instead, then ended up in DoSAT and escorted that light guy we found to Agent Eileen’s lab, and then I was stuck there for a little while they... Had trouble shutting down an experiment. Oh brother. I guess their experiment made us experience a few hours and the rest of HQ got a week. No one has been here for a week! I better check on the minis!” Cali moved to open the door to the NCIS Adoption Center, but was stopped by the sudden noise coming from his room.
A loud thump followed by some cursing caused both agents to look toward the bedroom, where a groggy Cadmar was standing in the doorway, holding onto one of the edges to support herself, while clutching her head with the other hand. “Ah, hells, my head is killing me...”
“Yeah, some very bad turns...” Miah murmured, and then went to mix up some of her hangover cure.
“Here you go, miss. Have a seat. I told you my partner works wonders in the hangover cure department,” Cali said pulling a chair over for Cadmar.
“Miss..? Mi...oh, right. That’s me.” Cadmar chuckled nervously. “Wait, hangover cure?” Cadmar glanced at Cali. “Cali?” she asked in confusion, recognizing him for the first time.
“I’m surprised you remember my name. You were definitely three sheets to the wind when I found you last night,” Cali said, passing Miah’s cure to Cadmar. “It tastes terrible, but works wonders.’
“Yeah, wouldn’t be the first time I’ve used it recently.” Cadmar downed it in one gulp, shuddering from the taste. “So, I didn’t do anything...er, too bad did I?” Cadmar asked while glancing around nervously.
“You’ve...used it before? So...you know Miah?” Cali was looking very confused.
“Yeah. Don’t you rem...oh wait, riiiiiiight.” Cadmar cleared her throat. “Um, this is awkward.”
“I’m really missing something here, aren’t I?” Cali said.
Miah put a hand on Cali’s arm. “This is Cadmar.”
“So now there are two Cadmars?”
“No. This is the same Cadmar. He was possessed and ended up being turned into a girl.”
Cadmar waved with a nervous smile, no teeth showing of course. “Hi!”
“I-- Last night-- I thought I was getting away from Cadmar, and you’re--” Cali’s face was bright red by this time. He turned and fled to his room, shutting the door behind him.
Cadmar gaped at where Cali had disappeared. “Umm...what? Miah, please, PLEASE tell me I didn’t seduce him or anything.” Cadmar looked pleadingly at Miah. “Seriously, please.”
Miah gaped at Cali’s door for a few moments before turning to Cadmar. “You better not have. I don’t know. I was out looking for you for hours. I only just got here. You were asleep in the bed, and he was on the blanket in the floor. He’s been acting strange for a while now.” She flailed in the direction of the door. “Should I go after him or leave him alone?”
“You should probably go after him, he seemed pretty upset...or embarrassed. But first, what do you mean by acting strange?” Cadmar sat down in the chair at the Console and leaned back, closing her eyes.
“I don’t know. He’s been touchy, not smiling much, and hasn’t been taking any ribbing over being a Tesla fanboy.”
“Hunh.” Cadmar grimaced. “Tell him I’m sorry for whatever I did, or tell him to come here and tell me what I did, so then I can apologize. Or something. I don’t know how these things work.”
“No, I’m sorry.” Cali said from directly behind Cadmar. He continued on in a near monotone. “I was embarrassed for not recognizing you. We didn’t do anything last night. Poor choice of words. I-I hope you’re able to get this straightened out. I’m going to go visit the kids.” He turned to walk out the door.
Cadmar yelped when Cali first spoke and ended up falling face first on the floor. “Umm, Miah, I don’t think that’s a good sign.” Cadmar sighed. “Why do I have the feeling I am to blame for this too?”
Miah helped him up. “You can’t take the blame for everything. I don’t think that whatever’s wrong with him is your fault. I, uh, I talked to the SO after you left his office.”
“Why? Please tell me you didn’t try and get a punishment too, I think one person changing genders is enough.” Cadmar shifted a bit. “And the scars on my stomach are annoying.”
“I’m...not going to repeat everything it said to me, but the scars are going. That’s why I was looking for you. You’re supposed to go back to Medical.”
Cadmar tackled Miah in a hug. “Miah, you are awesome!” Cadmar made a sound close to a sniffle, “You guys keep helping me with stuff...”
“You wouldn’t be in such a mess if I’d packed my gear properly. I have no idea, really what the Flower wants to show that you’ve ‘learned your lesson’, but once I track Cali down, and you get back from Medical, I’ll come over to your RC and help you sort out every piece of equipment you own--if that’s okay with you? I mean, if you don’t feel like it, I’m not trying to be--” Miah hung her head. “I’m sorry.”
“For what? Your offering to help me out, and you talked a snippy Flower into letting me get rid of the scars. I’d be willing to do just about anything for you at this point. I’ve already offered Maria eternal servitude.” Cadmar got up and offered her a hand. “Though I could REALLY use the help with the equipment thing.”
“Yeah, so I’ll track him down, and then come help. Are you hungry before we head out? I have some meal replacement shakes,” Miah said rummaging through the fridge. She’d have to stock up. It looked the minis had nearly run out of food while the agents had been gone.
“Nah, I’m going to Medical. Getting rid of the belly blemishes first.” Cadmar paused before leaving, “Oh, and if Cali is feeling better afterwards, you both should stop in. He looks like he needs some gaming or something to chill out to. I still want to see that movie with him.”
0*0*0*0
Miah spotted Cali stalking along the hall not far from the Nursery. He rounded the corner, but then came right back, pacing. Alright. No more pussyfooting around. She grabbed him by the collar and shoved him against the wall.
“All right. Now. We’re going to talk about this. What is your problem?”
Cali slumped against the wall, not attempting to get free. He refused to look at Miah as he muttered, “Nothing.”
“Oh no. This has been going on long enough. You’re the best partner I’ve ever had, and I’m not letting you go over whatever this is.”
“I’m sorry I was rude to Cadmar. I’ll apologize better later.” He tried to squirm out of Miah’s grip, but she held tight.
“This isn’t about needing to apologize. This is about why you freaked out in the first place, and why you’ve been so weird lately.”
“What, I have to be happy all the time? Let go of me.” Cali struggled some more, still unable to get out of Miah’s grasp.
“Come on. Seriously. I didn’t call you on it when it was a matter of you not being happy all the time. But you had a full on BSoD on me in the last mission. I almost had to portal you back to Medical. And now there is still something obviously bothering you. Which means that I still can’t be confident that you’re fit for a mission.”
Cali didn’t say anything. He still refused to look at Miah.
“Look. You can talk to me, or I can drag to you FicPsych, but this is getting resolved. You’re not the only one that needs help right now.” Miah poked him on the chest with each word for good measure.
“I know,” Cali said sounding miserable. “Is Cadmar going to be all right? He was so upset last night.”
“She has people looking out for her right now, but you’re not changing the subject. What’s going on with you?” Miah wasn’t wavering in her resolve to actually force this out of Cali.
“Alright. You’re going to be mad over me making this come up to such a big deal,” he sighed, “when it’s something so stupid.”
“Come on. If it’s this important to you, then it’s not stupid. And I’m not going to be mad.” Miah released him, and sat beside him when he slid to the floor.
Cali took a deep breath. “Do you remember the first time you fell in love?”
Miah was quiet for a moment, then grimaced. “I’ve...never really been there.”
“Really? Well then this is probably going to sound really pathetic then. I...like Cadmar. It started when we went on that training mission with him, and it’s gone from there. Only, I don’t think he, uh, shares my, uh...worldview, so to speak. So I decided to try get over myself of being interested in someone that isn’t interested in me, and who do I end up looking at potentially in that way? Cadmar.”
“I didn’t realize your ‘worldview’ was quite so broad, Cali,” Miah said carefully.
“I thought you knew once you realized that I was fanboying over Tesla?” Cali said, finally looking at his partner.
“I dunno. You can fanboy without being interested in him. Kind of like me with Merlin.” Miah actually looked a bit embarrassed. “So, Cadmar, huh? That’s a, uh, interesting choice.”
Cali shrugged.
“So, what is it about him that’s got you all wound up?” Miah said, again trying to be careful.
“He’s nice. And good looking, and, and, he sleeps with a stuffed platypus. And he’s...I don’t know. Just cool. During the training mission, I thought he was looking at me the way I was looking at him,” he seemed to deflate. “But he has a thing for his partner, Maria. I was just fooling myself.”
“But Maria is dating someone else. I’m sure she doesn’t think of Cadmar like that. They have this weird feeding by physical touch thing going on, but I’m sure she doesn’t think of Cadmar that way.”
“Have you seen the way he looks at her? And oh dear Eru, he was talking about how pretty she is last night.” Cali put his head down on his arms. “Let’s just go. You said Cadmar needed help. He-she has an actual problem right now, not a feeling sorry for herself over nothing problem. I’ll get over myself eventually.”
“Well of course he has feelings for Maria,” Miah said. “He was possessed, tortured, and genderbent. He-she now, has been having nightmares and barely holding it together, and Maria has been there for support through all this. It’s natural for feelings to develop.”
“I’m such a jerk,” was Cali’s muffled response.
“I made you tell me what’s been bothering you. It’s not like you being miserable over this crush is the reason all that happened to Cadmar.” Miah stood up and offered him a hand up, “Come on now. Cadmar has to ‘learn a lesson’ about proper equipment upkeep before he can be switched back to his male body. And I get to help. Just don’t tell Cadmar that part of it, okay?”
Cali nodded.
Miah handed him a tissue. “Blow your nose, and straighten yourself up a bit.”
0*0*0*0
Miah and Cali stood in front of the door to Maria’s RC, waiting for the automatic door to allow them in. After reaching Medical, and hearing that Cadmar had already come and gone, both quite loudly, they headed for his RC. As the door opened, they had little time to react as Cadmar, now wearing look-a-like clothes as the ones she normally wore, bolted out and ran into both of them. “Oh, sorry.”
“Cadmar! Stop being a baby and get back here!” Maria shouted from inside the RC.
“No!” Cadmar retreated further from the door.
Maria appeared in the doorway, carrying a bundle of clothes. “Yes, you can’t wear those things anymore, you need more...appropriate clothing.”
“These cover just fine, thankyouverymuch!”
“You two do realize,” Mark said from behind Maria, “That we have guests. Guests who are on the ground.”
Both Cadmar and Maria muttered apologies, and helped Miah and Cali up.
“Hey guys, thanks again for the hangover cure, Miah, works great as always.” Cadmar said with a grin.
Maria tossed the bundle of clothes into the RC, where they homed in on Mark, covering him. “So, what brings you guys here?”
Miah glanced at Cali, who was staring at his shoes. “We’re here to help Cadmar do a full maintenance cycle of his mission supplies.”
Maria smiled. “Aw, that’s nice of you! We we’re going to do something similar, actually.”
Cadmar snorted. “Yeah, similar where you play Drill Sargent Barbie.” Maria flicked him in the nose with her tail. Cadmar nipped at her tail. “Well, c’mon in. Oh, and when we’re done, we should totally watch that movie Miah was talking about. Something about axes and doors, and rivers of blood.” Cadmar smiled. “It sounds great!”
0*0*0*0
The door to the RC opened and Cadmar looked both ways quickly before attempting to sneak away at a jog. She made it a total of ten steps before running into Florestan, knocking both down. “Oof!”
“Ow!” said Florestan as he rubbed his head. “Watch where you’re...” He then paused mid-sentence, staring at the woman in front of him.
“Cadmar?”
“Um...maybe?” Cadmar stood up and offered Florestan a hand up. “Who are...oh, hi Florestan!” Cadmar grinned widely.
Florestan was too busy giving Cadmar a thoroughly shocked look to notice her grin. “Jesus Christ on a pikestaff, Cadmar, what happened? I mean... You... You’re a...”
“Girl? Yeah...See, our last mission sucked. A lot. So, I was possessed by the queen bitch of Sues for a while, and ended up getting some nasty scars and um...the plumbing changed.There may have been some psychotic breakdowns in there too...” Cadmar trailed off awkwardly.
Florestan cringed at this. “I don’t doubt your last mission sucked...” he said. “Ouch. Is Maria all right?”
Cadmar rolled her eyes and grabbed Florestan’s hand and hoisted him up. “Yeah, she’s fine. She helped me out a lot, though being gone a week and all, I think she kinda missed you. I was just-”
“CADMAR! GET YOUR ASS- oh, hi Florestan!” Maria said from the open doorway to the RC. She walked out and gave Florestan a hug. “So, um, sorry for being gone for a week. It’s been hell for us.”
“I don’t doubt it,” he said. “I mean... Bloody hell, Cadmar is a woman now...”
“I guess I failed the scene from Mulan where the guy is making men out of the recruits.” Cadmar said with a grin. Maria flicked her hard in the ear. “Ow!”
“Don’t ‘Ow’ me, get back in there now! You have to get the equipment thing down, or the SO will never repeal your punishment.” Maria gave Cadmar a shove to the RC. Cadmar sighed deeply and walked back into the RC. “So, um...Hi!” Maria smiled up at him.
Florestan nodded, looking at Maria. “Hi,” he said. “I heard that when you got back, you were taken to the Sunflower Official directly. Are... Are you all right?”
“Yeah, he was kinda angry about the massive equipment failure, and um, we MAY have taken a vacation after the mission. You know, making sure Cadmar wouldn’t snap and all. The fun we had was a side-effect. Totally.” she gave a sneaky grin.
The DIC agent, of course, was not fooled. “Are you sure about that?” he asked. “I... I’d think you would take the whole “Sue-wraith possession thing a little harder...”
Maria’s ears drooped. “Yeah. I guess it would help to talk about it huh?” she slid down the wall and sat on the floor. “I...well, never felt like such a failure before. I’m supposed to be the experienced leader, and be able to protect them.”
Florestan nodded grimly, sitting down next to Maria. “You did the best you could,” he replied, softly.
“I wanna think that. But, every night since the possession he..she was up crying and having nightmares, and all I could do was just hold her.” Maria laughed bitterly. “She even told me how much she appreciated it, and offered me eternal servitude as a joke. Hell, I even asked if she was angry with me for not helping.”
The Disentangler nodded slowly. He didn’t say much else, but the arm he draped over Maria’s shoulders said more than he needed to. “I...” He let out a sigh of sadness.
“The SO had her stay behind for a ‘talk’. Said she had to stay a girl and keep the scars until she learned her lesson. Miah...” Maria leaned her head into Florestan’s shoulder. “Miah talked him out of the scars. If she hadn’t...Well, they weren’t helping with the recovery process. I had to hypnotise Cadmar just so she would take a shower.” Maria paused for a moment, “Though it is good to know Cadmar doesn’t want to take advantage of her situation for staring purposes.”
Florestan nodded. “Small comfort for everything else,” he commented. “I... I don’t really know... as a guy, I’d be horrified if my gender changed without my consent. At the moment... I think you’re doing everything you can. I don’t know how I’d react, but...” He left the sentence hanging, figuring Maria would figure out the unspoken part. He shook his head.
“Yeah. Oh, I got some neat ideas for something we should do sometime. Ever heard of zuzeln?”
Florestan frowned. “Not sure I have...” He shook his head. “Even though I probably should know what it is. Why?”
Maria giggled. “Oh, you’ll see. You off for a bit?”
The DIC agent’s eyebows rose, and then he smirked. “Sure,” he said. “But first... Do you think you’ll be all right?”
“Nothing a little unprofessional outing won’t fix.” Maria said with a grin while pulling an RA out.
Florestan glanced at her, blinking. “You sure it’s a good idea to leave HQ so soon after spending six days out of there?” he asked.
“Maybe. As long as we don’t stay for too long.” Maria opened up a portal. “Shall we?”
The taller agent nodded, closing his eyes as he did. “Sure, why not?” he asked. “Lead the way.”
As the portal closed behind the two, the door to the RC opened again and smoke billowed out into the empty corridor. Cadmar ran out screaming about freedom. Mark emerged from the doorway shortly after, coughing.
“At least we know she can use the smoke grenades.”
0*0*0*0
Heeeere’s Joohnnny!
“Aaaaaaaaarggghhhh!” Cali sat bolt upright in the bed, then yanked the covers over his back and over his head.
He heard thumping and clanging coming from the next room, then footsteps. They came closer. And closer.
The light flicked on, and Miah said, “Cali? Are you okay?” She gave a snort of amusement “Under the blanket? Really? Everyone knows you should go for a weapon to fend off the boogie man.”
Cali peeked out from under the covers. Miah shook her head. She was beginning to believe that the glasses were surgically attached to his face. How he managed to keep them on while sleeping, or caught in Word Tornadoes, she had no idea.
“It was like it was real! Only, Maria was that guy that gets killed, and Mark was the freaky psychic kid, and Cadmar was the axe-crazy guy, and he was chasing me, and I ran into the RC, but you weren’t here, and then he did that ‘Heeeere’s Joohnnny!’ thing. Then as I was screaming, he stopped and laughed and said he was just kidding, but I was already waking up!”
Miah shook her head. Was it bad that she could see Cadmar playing a prank like that? “Sounds like a crazy nightmare. Remind me to cross horror movies off the list of things you should be watching.”
0*0*0*0
As Cali was telling Miah about his nightmare, Cadmar, Maria, and Mark all sneezed in their sleep. Cadmar snuggled closer in between her stuffed platypus and Maria, who was snuggled up around both of them. Mark was sleeping a little closer to them then he had before their latest mission. And, even if only for one night, the consoles were silent in the RC.
Next appearance: Mission 11: Optional
Disclaimer: We do not own the PPC. It was created by Jay and Acacia--the original Assassins.
Rating: T for Teenage Angst
Notes: The song Cadmar is singing is Peat Bog Soldiers, by the Dubliners , as Cali points out. Here is a link, incase you want to listen, which I recommend, because it is a really good song.
This was co-written by Caddy-shack More stuff by Caddy-shack , HerrWozzeck More stuff by HerrWozzeck, and me.
Warning: There is some foul language in this fic.
Previous appearance: Dragon Lady, part 3
Picking Up The Pieces
A week ago, in The Lair
“You take Big Guys to the Adoption Center. You know how they feel about me,” Miah said.
“I still say that you’re exaggerating. There is no way you found seventy mini-Rayquazas in a single mission, and definitely no way that you managed to cobble together tech to create a cooler that was bigger on the inside on the outside like a TARDIS,” Cali said. All he wanted was a shower and some time to sulk alone. Seeing Tesla so close and yet so out of reach only served to remind him of his personal dilemma.
Miah shook his shoulder, jolting him out of his reverie. She looked concerned. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay? Maybe I should take you to Medical. You were out of it for a long time. And--”
Cali cut her off by shrugging her hand off his shoulder, and grabbing Big Guys collar. “I’ll take him.”
“Cali?” Miah said quietly. “Are you really all right?”
He sighed heavily. “I’m fine. Just tired. I’ll take the mini to the Adoption and then get some sleep. Good as new.”
Miah nodded, and said, “Ronan has been wanting to visit Colonel Shepard over in Lee and Ian’s RC. I’ll be over there for a while, so you can get some sleep.”
Cali nodded and tried a smile. He knew it wasn’t up to his normal megawatt standards, but it had to do for now.
He absently scratched the mini behind it’s ear as he walked, and it made a rumbling sound almost like a purr. “It’s simple Big Guys, I like someone that isn’t interested. It’s time to move on that’s all there is to it.”
The mini continued rumbling and butting his hand when he paused in petting it.
“Yeah, you’re right. You’re right. I shouldn’t get so wound up over someone before finding out if they’re agreeable to it first.”
The mini licked his hand. “Well, I can’t help it. It’s the first time I’ve ever looked at a real person that way.” The mini stopped walking and stared at him accusingly. “No! Tesla does not count! He’s a canon character.” The mini kept staring at him. “So is Doc Fraiser, so stop looking at me at like that.” Big Guys snorted and butted it’s head against Cali’s hand again.
“You’re a menace, you know that?”
“No, the menace is your partner, Agent Cali Still.”
Cali jumped and tripped over Big Guys. He looked around, gasping for breath with his heart pounding in his ears. He heard teasing laughter from directly above and behind him. He looked up and saw the agent that John Dont had tackled leaning over the bottom half of a split door.
Cali got to his feet, attempting to maintain what was left of his dignity. “How’d you know my name?”
“I keep up with who works with Agent Miah, as a safety precaution. Tell her that Omri Stone says banned from the Adoption Center also means not opening portals and releasing monsters on us.”
“So that line she keeps feeding me about being banned is actually true?”
“Indeed,” Omri said looking uncomfortable from the memory.
“So, I have one more mini-Steno for you. This is Big Guys. He’s a good one.”
Agent Stone opened the door. Big Guys gave Cali’s hand a final lick and then bounded off to join the group of other mini-Stenopelhabillis.
“Is one missing?” Cali asked.
“You’re still here?” Omri asked looking up from paperwork. “An Agent came by not long after they arrived and took John Dont. Good thing, too. It was a ring leader. Goodbye.”
Cali was in the empty, grey hallway when Agent Stone shut the top half of the door in his face. He shook his head. Miah sure had a way with people. Now that he was out, he didn’t particularly want to go back to his RC. Maybe he’d go to the Nursery and visit the kids. He hadn’t seen them in a couple of days.
0*0*0*0
Three hours later
Cali finally spotted the door to the Nursery. He signed in with Miss Carina walked down to the study room. Hannah was bent over her books, taking notes diligently. Kevin was making paper airplanes out of what looked like homework. Through the window to the playroom, Cali could see Kyle making a tower of blocks that was currently a few inches higher than he was tall. Through the window into the toddler room, Cali saw Helen using a tiny plastic hammer to pound pegs through a little bench.
Kevin spotted him first. “Uncle Cali!”
Kyle and Hannah both took up the cry, and Cali went down under their combined glomp.
A few hours later Cali kissed Helen’s cheek and tucked the blanket around the sleeping toddler’s shoulders. The others were already tucked into bed. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. Having someone to tuck you in was something he’d always dreamt about when he was younger. He stood watching Helen sleep for a few more moments before he quietly slipped out of the room, signed out of the Nursery, and headed for the theater to meet Agents Mal to watch Rango He’d run into her earlier on his way to the Nursery.
0*0*0*0
“Okay. There must be some reason I keep ending up here,” Cali muttered as he stared at the doorway to DoSAT for the third time since leaving the Nursery. He sighed and went inside. The first person he saw was Alfred Casey, the Tech who had been to their RC several times to fix the console after Castor had scavenged it for parts.
“If you have disassembled your disguise generator or any other part of your console again, you are going to be waiting a long time to get it fixed. We’re busy with actual malfunctions,” said Tech Casey.
“N-no. At least it was in one piece when I left several hours ago,” Cali said, unsure.
“What do you need then? CAD explode?”
“I don’t know. I just keep ending up here when I try to get back to my RC, so I thought there must be something I need to do here,” Cali said, beginning to regret coming inside.
“Well, don’t touch anything. We’ve already had that personification of light in here all day touching everything,” Tech Casey said, sounding rather tired.
“Personification of light?” Cali asked, suddenly getting an idea of why he had been drawn to DoSAT.
“Someone sent him through a portal earlier, but it was off so fast that we didn’t get a solid trace on who it was.”
“Is his name, Lights Shawn by any chance?” Cali asked.
“I should have known it was you two. He landed right in the middle of my workstation,” Casey said, sounding annoyed.
“Sorry about that. We didn’t know what else to do with him. Is he going to stay here and be a Technician?” Cali asked, looking around, trying to find the character.
“He’s from such a Victorian setting that he’s not a lot of help here. Actually we’re sending him to Agent Eileen over in Research. She’s been looking for a new lab assistant. I’ve just been trying to find time to take him over there.”
“Well, since I caused you all the trouble of landing him in here this morning, how about I take him for you? I know Agent Eileen, and I’m not on a mission right now,” Cali said, glad he could do something to influence Casey to be favorable toward them.
“That would be great. Now if you can just keep your RC equipment assembled for a few days, maybe I can catch up on things,” he said waving at the large stack of assignment papers in his in-box. “I’ve gotten him stabilized into a slightly less shiny form. Tell, Eileen that I’ll send the specs for the device to her in-box. There he is, over there.”
Cali followed Casey’s point to a nervous looking man in old fashioned clothing. The man’s skin was glowing faintly, but it was nothing like the brilliance they’d seen in the fic.
“See you later--hopefully much later--Casey.”
Casey waved at him without looking up from the tangle of parts and wires, he was already working on again.
0*0*0*0
Currently...
Traveling through HQ was usually an annoying experience. There were few times where an agent would find something they would actually like, aside from their destination. In the odd chance that an agent DID find some fun diversion in the halls, traffic in the halls could expect to be backed up, and there was a high chance that security would have to be involved.
Agent Cadmar, back from having her, yes, HER check-up in Medical. The doctors had fixed some problems inside her, something about the Author Wraith rearranging some organs. Luckily she had gotten to HQ before something happened, even if six days was a long time to not notice anything wrong.
As the SO had said, the doctors fixed anything life threatening, and made sure she wouldn’t keel over from the mass of scarring from the mission. Learning that using ashes in tattoos was an actual practise on Earth was a surprise. A surprise that left Cadmar so happy that she left Medical more sullen then when she entered.
Cadmar was currently lounging on a couch, in a small rest area she had found in her brooding travels of HQ. As luck would have it, it also had a vending machine that dispensed free drinks. Upon finding that it has cold beer, Cadmar was all too happy to make use of it, which brings us to now, where she was singing loudly in a drunken warble that was making any passing agent cringe.
“~Far and wide as the eye can wander, Heath and bog are everywhere! Not a bird sings out to cheer us, Oaks are standing, gaunt and bare!~” Cadmar finished off another can of beer, threw it into a growing pile, and opened another one using her teeth. Had she not been so depressed, she would have thought it was cool.
“~We are the PPC Agents! We're marching with our CADs! To the badfics!~” Cadmar hiccuped loudly.
“~Up and down the guards are pacing, No one, no one can get through! Flight would mean a sure death facing, Guns and barbed wire greet our view!~” Another empty can was tossed in the pile, another opened.
“~We are the PPC Agents! We're marching with our Cads! To the Mary Sues!~” Cadmar started singing more softly, losing any sense of merriment the drinking had given.
“~But for us there is no complaining, Winter will in time be past, One day we will cry rejoicing, "Homeland dear, you're mine at last~...” Cadmar finished in a whisper.
0*0*0*0
Cali was bone tired. He’d dropped Lights Shawn off with Agent Eileen, and then they’d been locked in for a few hours when an experiment had gone haywire. He heard someone singing. At first he thought it was Peat Bog Soldiers by the Dubliners, but as he followed the sound, he realized that the words of the chorus had been filked to fit the PPC. He turned a corner and saw a lounge that he’d never noticed before. There was a canned drink dispenser, which a very tall woman wearing ill-fitting clothes was retrieving a beer from. From the looks of the pile of cans, she’d been there a while.
Cali took a step closer to the woman and sang the last line of the song, using her filked words. “Then will the Agent march no more with their CADs to the badfics.” The woman whirled around, stumbled, and fell into the couch face-first.
“Mmph!”
Cali noticed a tattoo on the back of her neck that looked like script writing, but he couldn’t quite make out what it said. He approached cautiously, so as to not startle her. When he was just out of reach, he said, “Miss? Miss, can I sit here beside you?”
0*0*0*0
Cadmar was still reeling from the surprise of having someone sneak up on her, singing with her no less.
“Miss? Miss, can I sit here beside you?”
Oh yeah, this was off to a fine start. Some blue haired guy dressed like a commando sneaking up behind her, singing and being all polite. Musical Ninja Commando Butlers. You never see them coming until they’re serving you tea, or singing you something.
“Yeah, sure. Go ahead.” Cadmar flipped over and moved the hair out of her face. Such long hair, probably should get it cut soon. Maybe the butler cut hair too? Oh! Maybe he’d cut her hair while singing! “Sorry about that! I never had to try and spot Musical Ninja Commando Butlers before.”
“Um, o-okay. So...would you mind some singing company?” Cali said, not sure how far to press the woman, but pretty sure that variations of ‘talk about your problems’ wouldn’t be welcomed.
Cadmar used her hair to hide her face a bit. Yeah, awkwardness was hitting like a brick. “I ah, don’t really know any other songs. I only know this because...because....soemone taught me, I think.” Cadmar belched and giggled.
Cali adjusted his sunglasses. “Hi, I’m Cali. It kind of looks like you’re having a bad day.”
Cadmar snorted. “Yeah. Last mission was horrible, got possessed, tossed around as the Sue, had to act like a bitch to all the canons, got tossed with a long term punishment by the SO.”
“That’s terrible. You made it back to HQ, though,” Cali said.
“Yeah, that is good I guess.” Cadmar reached down and grabbed the unopened beer she had dropped. Opening it proved a mistake as it sprayed her heavily. “Aw! Ick! I JUST got these clothes too!”
Cali pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to the other agent. “So what is your RC number? You could probably use a change of clothes and some rest.”
“So you’re a Hero Musical Ninja Commando Butler? How do you find the time to sleep?” Cadmar wiped off her face. “Oh, I wanted to ask you, do you cut hair? This long stuff is bugging the crap outta me.” Cadmar moved the hair to one side to wipe fizz off of her shoulder, while unintentionally giving Cali a better look at the tattoo on the back of her neck.
“I’m no hero. I just play one on TV.” Cali took a good look at her hair and the tattoo. “Well, I could cut your hair, but it might end up looking like mine. Alecto Carrow, huh? Is that HPverse?”
Cadmar cursed and threw her hair to the other side, wiping fizz from the other side. “Yeah...The Sue had a band of freedom fighters, who were a huge threat to Voldemort. Got caught by the Carrows, who thought it would be hilarious to carve their names into the back of her neck and pour ashes of her friends into the wounds before closing them.” Cadmar sighed deeply. “Never mistreating a Crash Dummy again.”
“Why would anyone...?”
“Oh, because it makes a tragic backstory, don’t you know? Now that I think about it, it’s actually pretty cool to trace them.” Cadmar belched again, while tracing her finger through the words on the back of her neck, showing Cali, “You see, all the stuff is just the tiniest bit indented into the skin, like a track or something!”
Cali looked at the pile of cans. “Huh. Here, let me help you.” Cali produced another wet wipe and wiped some left over foam from her forehead.
“Thanks...hey, I just remembered, I got this tattoo on my back as well. Apparently torturers also give bitchin Celtic tattoos, check it out.!” Cadmar turned away form Cali and lifted up the back of her shirt all the way up.
Cali blushed all the way to the tips of his ears. “Uu-um.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat before he continued. “V-very nice. Uh, Could, uh, could I t--no, no that’s wrong.” Cali turned his head before he continued. “I-interesting design.”
Cadmar let the shirt fall back into place. “Yeah! It’s even better because my name is Celtic too!” Cadmar looked at Cali and squinted. “Hey, you got sunglasses on. How can a ninja wear sunglasses when they have to sneak around at night?”
“I always wear them,” Cali said with his head still turned away.
“Why?” Cadmar leaned toward Cali. “Is it because your eyes shoot lasers? Or..or maybe you don’t have eyes at all!” Cadmar slipped on the couch and crashed into Cali’s legs.
“N-n-no. My eyes are there, and they don’t do anything as cool as shooting lasers. Let me help you up.” Cali tried to grab her under the arms to pull her back up onto the couch.
Cadmar started laughing and rolled off of the couch, covering her chest. “T-that tickles!”
“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. A hand up?” Cali said, offering a hand to the woman.
Cadmar closed her eyes and shook her head. “Nah, I think I’ll just take a nap here actually...” she said with a yawn.
“Come on,” Cali said, grabbing her arm and pulling her arm over his shoulder. “I’ll take you to my RC. You can have my bed, and I’ll take the floor. My partner has a great hangover cure.” He hauled her to her feet, and looked again at the pile of cans. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to need it.”
“I like hangover cures,’ Cadmar mumbled. “I keep having nightmares about the possession, but drinking makes them go away.” Cadmar’s head was now resting on Cali’s shoulder. “You’re commmmfy...”
“Aw man, you’re a lot bigger than I am, if you pass out, we’re stuck. Come on, now. Talk to me.”
“Mnn, about what? Heehee, I AM bigger then you, you’re really strong though.”
“Eh, how about telling me about yourself,” Cali said, struggling a bit to keep the two of them upright.
“I like anime, ever seen Black Lagoon? It’s all sorts of cool. Ooh! And then there’s Revy...” Cadmar sighed. “She’s really preeeeetty.”
“I’ve never seen much anime. Pretty, huh? Like you?”
Cadmar snorted. “I’m not pretty. You should see my partner, she’s pretty...I think...”
Cali staggered a bit, but kept the two of them upright. “I bet she’s great then.”
“Yeah, she’s the best. After I was possessed she kept helping me after the nightmares.” Cadmar opened her eyes and looked around sleepily. “I like her...a lot...Hey, where are we going again?”
“The Lair. So, What is your partner’s name? It sounds like you two are pretty close, and I should send her a message, so she won’t worry. Mine would threaten to skin me alive if I ever went missing.”
“She sounds like she’s your mom or something.” Cadmar giggled and snuggled into Cali’s shoulder. “I’ma sleeep nowww...”
“Heh. She does sometimes, doesn’t she? So what was y--” *thud* “Ow. What did we run into? Oh. We’re here.” Cali pushed the door open, and dragged her inside.
Cadmar reply came in a half coherent slur. “Hehehee...you always take girls home..?” Cadmar’s head lolled forward and she began snoring.
Cali’s blushed, but his impending stammer was cut off by the woman going boneless. He staggered. Minis scattered. He managed to mostly avoid piles of Miah’s things in the floor. A moment later he managed to get out a breathless, “Help.”
The minis ganged up and rolled her off. He groaned and pulled a pointy shoe from underneath him. “Owww. Let’s get her in the bed, guys.”
0*0*0*0
In RC 1810
“You know, I think you were right about this franchise being quite interesting.”
“Oh? Is it because of what’s been going down throughout this movie?”
“I believe so. The metaphorical underpinnings are quite fascinating, and their realization is… nothing short of obvious. Still, it is quite interesting.”
Eusabius mentioned this just as the others in the group moved on. Both agents were stuck smack in the middle of Saw II, watching Jigsaw give his debriefing to Xavier as Daniel Matthews moved the mattress to reveal the needle pit trap.
“Yeah,” said Florestan. “This is honestly one of the cooler traps of the franchise. The needle pit trap has gotta be bad for everybody’s health.”
“Indeed,” mentioned Eusabius, looking on as Xavier got angry and dropped Amanda into the needle pit.
It was at this extremely inopportune time that the door opened, Shumann letting out a very annoyed shriek as another agent entered. This got both Disentanglers’ attentions, and they looked to see Zerenze ducking into the RC. The Sangheili didn’t look like he was faring too well, however, as his eyes were rather wide and he looked like he had run the entire way to their response center.
“Zerenze?” asked Eusabius. “We were not expecting you.”
Florestan bent over, picked up the remote, and paused the movie as soon as he could. “Yeah, what’s up?” he asked.
“Sorry,” said the Elite. “There was something pretty big that happened in HQ recently. I thought to tell you.”
“Really?” asked Florestan. “Why?”
“It involves your friends from RC 481516234277. Something… I don’t really know how to describe it, but I don’t think it can be good.”
At this, the more impetuous agent sat up, a somewhat frightened expression shape on his face. “What happened?”
“I don’t know any of the details,” replied Zerenze. “But I was walking through HQ while running an errand for DoSAT when I saw this gathering of Dandelions marching through the halls. They were parading something like seven people through in handcuffs. They had four people I didn’t recognize. But when I paused… I saw Mark and… I assume it was Cadmar, I don’t know, he looked extremely different from how he normally is… I assume Maria was also with them. She was the vampire with the cat suit, right? Anyway, I saw them all being hauled along by the Dandelions, along with everyone else I didn’t recognize.”
With this, Florestan leapt off the couch. “W… What?” he asked. “They were being led by… in handcuffs…?”
The Elite nodded. “From the look on their faces… the dandelions probably weren’t pleased…”
“Oh… Oh, fuck…”
“Is something the matter, Florestan?” asked Eusabius.
“I… I think so,” said the younger agent, nodding as he lightly bit on his lower lip. “The dandelions are never seen in HQ except if something really crazy has happened with agents… And if Maria, Mark, and Cadmar were in handcuffs… Shit, this means they were probably being taken to the Sunflower Official directly! Oh, God, if that were true…”
He panted for a second or two before he reached over to grab his fedora from the nearby table. He fixed it on his head, and then subsequently walked over to the door.
“Eusabius, I think we’re gonna have to postpone this movie-watching marathon a bit,” he said, fixing his flash badge against his uniform. “I need to make sure Maria is all right. Don’t wait for me to get back to finish Saw II. I might be gone for a while.”
“I understand,” replied Eusabius with a nod. “Should I wait for you to return before watching Saw III, or…?”
“Don’t worry about that yet,” replied the younger agent. “I’ve already seen all the movies, so… I know what goes down.” The younger Disentangler nodded to Zerenze. “Thank you, Zerenze.”
With this, the Disentangler quickly exited RC 1810, brushing past Zerenze and quickly walking out. This left the DoSAT agent to blink as the RC door closed behind him.
“I… I guess he really cares about Maria,” he said.
“I assume it is only natural,” replied Eusabius with a nod. “You should return to DoSAT. Thank you, Zerenze.”
“Of course, Eusabius.” With this, the DoSAT agent left the room.
0*0*0*0
Miah stalked through the halls of HQ. Maria and Mark hadn’t seen Cadmar since they’d left her in the SO’s office. Cadmar had already been gone from Medical when Miah had gotten there looking for her. After wandering the hallways for a few hours, she decided to recruit help. Cali was shockingly good at the wishful thinking needed for successfully locating things in HQ. Come to think of it, she needed to set him to looking for the pool someday. She shook her head. No, now she needed to get to--”Ow.”
She rubbed her head and looked up to see what she’d run into. Of course, The Lair. She opened the door, suddenly feeling guilty for not thinking to contact Cali sooner. They’d been gone for over a week. He was probably worried sick. She was about to shout for him, when Ronan glomped her legs, and scrambled up to her shoulder.
“Wh--” she began, but he cut her off with a hand over her mouth, and a finger over his lips in a shushing motion. She began again in a whisper. “What’s going on, Ronan?”
The mini-Wraith pointed to the open doorway of Cali’s room. Miah took a step toward it and spotted Cali’s feet and legs where he was sprawled in the floor. Fear gripped her, and she ran forward, only to be stopped at the doorway by Hauk’Tauri and Lt. Col. Samantha Cater, both of whom, where shushing her. She took a closer look and realized that Cali was sleeping on a pallet in the floor. An even closer look, and Miah realized that there was someone sleeping in Cali’s bed. Someone with long, brown hair, and a tattoo...on her neck... Miah smacked her forehead. All this time looking, and Cali had already gotten Cadmar into the RC.
She sat down at the console and sent Mark and Maria a message saying that Cadmar was sleeping in her RC, so they wouldn’t go looking for her. Before Miah could get too bored waiting for someone to wake up, she heard movement. A moment later, Cali staggered into the room rubbing his hand through his hair sleepily.
He went to the fridge and pulled out a nutrition shake, and leaned against the counter before popping the top. He yawned wide enough that Miah thought she saw his tonsils. He took a drink, and then finally noticed Miah sitting at the console. He inhaled his drink and choked. Miah found a towel and handed it to him when he caught his breath.
“Hey, Miah,” he finally said.
She smiled mischievously, “So I see that I’m gone a week, and you find strange girls to bring home.”
He almost choked again. “No! She was in a lounge drunk. I couldn’t even get her name out of her, so I brought her here to sleep it off.”
“You really--” Miah began.
“Wait a week? What are you talking about?” Cali asked, confused.
“I was gone for over a week, Cali. I’m sorry for leaving that long, but that mission had some pretty bad turns.” Miah grimaced.
“You couldn’t have been gone for a week. I was only gone from the RC for a few hours,” Cali said looking confused.
“Where were you?” Miah asked.
“I dropped off the mini-steno, visited the kids, tried to watch a movie with Kaliel/Maeryn, but had to MST this terrible Sanctuary fic instead, then ended up in DoSAT and escorted that light guy we found to Agent Eileen’s lab, and then I was stuck there for a little while they... Had trouble shutting down an experiment. Oh brother. I guess their experiment made us experience a few hours and the rest of HQ got a week. No one has been here for a week! I better check on the minis!” Cali moved to open the door to the NCIS Adoption Center, but was stopped by the sudden noise coming from his room.
A loud thump followed by some cursing caused both agents to look toward the bedroom, where a groggy Cadmar was standing in the doorway, holding onto one of the edges to support herself, while clutching her head with the other hand. “Ah, hells, my head is killing me...”
“Yeah, some very bad turns...” Miah murmured, and then went to mix up some of her hangover cure.
“Here you go, miss. Have a seat. I told you my partner works wonders in the hangover cure department,” Cali said pulling a chair over for Cadmar.
“Miss..? Mi...oh, right. That’s me.” Cadmar chuckled nervously. “Wait, hangover cure?” Cadmar glanced at Cali. “Cali?” she asked in confusion, recognizing him for the first time.
“I’m surprised you remember my name. You were definitely three sheets to the wind when I found you last night,” Cali said, passing Miah’s cure to Cadmar. “It tastes terrible, but works wonders.’
“Yeah, wouldn’t be the first time I’ve used it recently.” Cadmar downed it in one gulp, shuddering from the taste. “So, I didn’t do anything...er, too bad did I?” Cadmar asked while glancing around nervously.
“You’ve...used it before? So...you know Miah?” Cali was looking very confused.
“Yeah. Don’t you rem...oh wait, riiiiiiight.” Cadmar cleared her throat. “Um, this is awkward.”
“I’m really missing something here, aren’t I?” Cali said.
Miah put a hand on Cali’s arm. “This is Cadmar.”
“So now there are two Cadmars?”
“No. This is the same Cadmar. He was possessed and ended up being turned into a girl.”
Cadmar waved with a nervous smile, no teeth showing of course. “Hi!”
“I-- Last night-- I thought I was getting away from Cadmar, and you’re--” Cali’s face was bright red by this time. He turned and fled to his room, shutting the door behind him.
Cadmar gaped at where Cali had disappeared. “Umm...what? Miah, please, PLEASE tell me I didn’t seduce him or anything.” Cadmar looked pleadingly at Miah. “Seriously, please.”
Miah gaped at Cali’s door for a few moments before turning to Cadmar. “You better not have. I don’t know. I was out looking for you for hours. I only just got here. You were asleep in the bed, and he was on the blanket in the floor. He’s been acting strange for a while now.” She flailed in the direction of the door. “Should I go after him or leave him alone?”
“You should probably go after him, he seemed pretty upset...or embarrassed. But first, what do you mean by acting strange?” Cadmar sat down in the chair at the Console and leaned back, closing her eyes.
“I don’t know. He’s been touchy, not smiling much, and hasn’t been taking any ribbing over being a Tesla fanboy.”
“Hunh.” Cadmar grimaced. “Tell him I’m sorry for whatever I did, or tell him to come here and tell me what I did, so then I can apologize. Or something. I don’t know how these things work.”
“No, I’m sorry.” Cali said from directly behind Cadmar. He continued on in a near monotone. “I was embarrassed for not recognizing you. We didn’t do anything last night. Poor choice of words. I-I hope you’re able to get this straightened out. I’m going to go visit the kids.” He turned to walk out the door.
Cadmar yelped when Cali first spoke and ended up falling face first on the floor. “Umm, Miah, I don’t think that’s a good sign.” Cadmar sighed. “Why do I have the feeling I am to blame for this too?”
Miah helped him up. “You can’t take the blame for everything. I don’t think that whatever’s wrong with him is your fault. I, uh, I talked to the SO after you left his office.”
“Why? Please tell me you didn’t try and get a punishment too, I think one person changing genders is enough.” Cadmar shifted a bit. “And the scars on my stomach are annoying.”
“I’m...not going to repeat everything it said to me, but the scars are going. That’s why I was looking for you. You’re supposed to go back to Medical.”
Cadmar tackled Miah in a hug. “Miah, you are awesome!” Cadmar made a sound close to a sniffle, “You guys keep helping me with stuff...”
“You wouldn’t be in such a mess if I’d packed my gear properly. I have no idea, really what the Flower wants to show that you’ve ‘learned your lesson’, but once I track Cali down, and you get back from Medical, I’ll come over to your RC and help you sort out every piece of equipment you own--if that’s okay with you? I mean, if you don’t feel like it, I’m not trying to be--” Miah hung her head. “I’m sorry.”
“For what? Your offering to help me out, and you talked a snippy Flower into letting me get rid of the scars. I’d be willing to do just about anything for you at this point. I’ve already offered Maria eternal servitude.” Cadmar got up and offered her a hand. “Though I could REALLY use the help with the equipment thing.”
“Yeah, so I’ll track him down, and then come help. Are you hungry before we head out? I have some meal replacement shakes,” Miah said rummaging through the fridge. She’d have to stock up. It looked the minis had nearly run out of food while the agents had been gone.
“Nah, I’m going to Medical. Getting rid of the belly blemishes first.” Cadmar paused before leaving, “Oh, and if Cali is feeling better afterwards, you both should stop in. He looks like he needs some gaming or something to chill out to. I still want to see that movie with him.”
0*0*0*0
Miah spotted Cali stalking along the hall not far from the Nursery. He rounded the corner, but then came right back, pacing. Alright. No more pussyfooting around. She grabbed him by the collar and shoved him against the wall.
“All right. Now. We’re going to talk about this. What is your problem?”
Cali slumped against the wall, not attempting to get free. He refused to look at Miah as he muttered, “Nothing.”
“Oh no. This has been going on long enough. You’re the best partner I’ve ever had, and I’m not letting you go over whatever this is.”
“I’m sorry I was rude to Cadmar. I’ll apologize better later.” He tried to squirm out of Miah’s grip, but she held tight.
“This isn’t about needing to apologize. This is about why you freaked out in the first place, and why you’ve been so weird lately.”
“What, I have to be happy all the time? Let go of me.” Cali struggled some more, still unable to get out of Miah’s grasp.
“Come on. Seriously. I didn’t call you on it when it was a matter of you not being happy all the time. But you had a full on BSoD on me in the last mission. I almost had to portal you back to Medical. And now there is still something obviously bothering you. Which means that I still can’t be confident that you’re fit for a mission.”
Cali didn’t say anything. He still refused to look at Miah.
“Look. You can talk to me, or I can drag to you FicPsych, but this is getting resolved. You’re not the only one that needs help right now.” Miah poked him on the chest with each word for good measure.
“I know,” Cali said sounding miserable. “Is Cadmar going to be all right? He was so upset last night.”
“She has people looking out for her right now, but you’re not changing the subject. What’s going on with you?” Miah wasn’t wavering in her resolve to actually force this out of Cali.
“Alright. You’re going to be mad over me making this come up to such a big deal,” he sighed, “when it’s something so stupid.”
“Come on. If it’s this important to you, then it’s not stupid. And I’m not going to be mad.” Miah released him, and sat beside him when he slid to the floor.
Cali took a deep breath. “Do you remember the first time you fell in love?”
Miah was quiet for a moment, then grimaced. “I’ve...never really been there.”
“Really? Well then this is probably going to sound really pathetic then. I...like Cadmar. It started when we went on that training mission with him, and it’s gone from there. Only, I don’t think he, uh, shares my, uh...worldview, so to speak. So I decided to try get over myself of being interested in someone that isn’t interested in me, and who do I end up looking at potentially in that way? Cadmar.”
“I didn’t realize your ‘worldview’ was quite so broad, Cali,” Miah said carefully.
“I thought you knew once you realized that I was fanboying over Tesla?” Cali said, finally looking at his partner.
“I dunno. You can fanboy without being interested in him. Kind of like me with Merlin.” Miah actually looked a bit embarrassed. “So, Cadmar, huh? That’s a, uh, interesting choice.”
Cali shrugged.
“So, what is it about him that’s got you all wound up?” Miah said, again trying to be careful.
“He’s nice. And good looking, and, and, he sleeps with a stuffed platypus. And he’s...I don’t know. Just cool. During the training mission, I thought he was looking at me the way I was looking at him,” he seemed to deflate. “But he has a thing for his partner, Maria. I was just fooling myself.”
“But Maria is dating someone else. I’m sure she doesn’t think of Cadmar like that. They have this weird feeding by physical touch thing going on, but I’m sure she doesn’t think of Cadmar that way.”
“Have you seen the way he looks at her? And oh dear Eru, he was talking about how pretty she is last night.” Cali put his head down on his arms. “Let’s just go. You said Cadmar needed help. He-she has an actual problem right now, not a feeling sorry for herself over nothing problem. I’ll get over myself eventually.”
“Well of course he has feelings for Maria,” Miah said. “He was possessed, tortured, and genderbent. He-she now, has been having nightmares and barely holding it together, and Maria has been there for support through all this. It’s natural for feelings to develop.”
“I’m such a jerk,” was Cali’s muffled response.
“I made you tell me what’s been bothering you. It’s not like you being miserable over this crush is the reason all that happened to Cadmar.” Miah stood up and offered him a hand up, “Come on now. Cadmar has to ‘learn a lesson’ about proper equipment upkeep before he can be switched back to his male body. And I get to help. Just don’t tell Cadmar that part of it, okay?”
Cali nodded.
Miah handed him a tissue. “Blow your nose, and straighten yourself up a bit.”
0*0*0*0
Miah and Cali stood in front of the door to Maria’s RC, waiting for the automatic door to allow them in. After reaching Medical, and hearing that Cadmar had already come and gone, both quite loudly, they headed for his RC. As the door opened, they had little time to react as Cadmar, now wearing look-a-like clothes as the ones she normally wore, bolted out and ran into both of them. “Oh, sorry.”
“Cadmar! Stop being a baby and get back here!” Maria shouted from inside the RC.
“No!” Cadmar retreated further from the door.
Maria appeared in the doorway, carrying a bundle of clothes. “Yes, you can’t wear those things anymore, you need more...appropriate clothing.”
“These cover just fine, thankyouverymuch!”
“You two do realize,” Mark said from behind Maria, “That we have guests. Guests who are on the ground.”
Both Cadmar and Maria muttered apologies, and helped Miah and Cali up.
“Hey guys, thanks again for the hangover cure, Miah, works great as always.” Cadmar said with a grin.
Maria tossed the bundle of clothes into the RC, where they homed in on Mark, covering him. “So, what brings you guys here?”
Miah glanced at Cali, who was staring at his shoes. “We’re here to help Cadmar do a full maintenance cycle of his mission supplies.”
Maria smiled. “Aw, that’s nice of you! We we’re going to do something similar, actually.”
Cadmar snorted. “Yeah, similar where you play Drill Sargent Barbie.” Maria flicked him in the nose with her tail. Cadmar nipped at her tail. “Well, c’mon in. Oh, and when we’re done, we should totally watch that movie Miah was talking about. Something about axes and doors, and rivers of blood.” Cadmar smiled. “It sounds great!”
0*0*0*0
The door to the RC opened and Cadmar looked both ways quickly before attempting to sneak away at a jog. She made it a total of ten steps before running into Florestan, knocking both down. “Oof!”
“Ow!” said Florestan as he rubbed his head. “Watch where you’re...” He then paused mid-sentence, staring at the woman in front of him.
“Cadmar?”
“Um...maybe?” Cadmar stood up and offered Florestan a hand up. “Who are...oh, hi Florestan!” Cadmar grinned widely.
Florestan was too busy giving Cadmar a thoroughly shocked look to notice her grin. “Jesus Christ on a pikestaff, Cadmar, what happened? I mean... You... You’re a...”
“Girl? Yeah...See, our last mission sucked. A lot. So, I was possessed by the queen bitch of Sues for a while, and ended up getting some nasty scars and um...the plumbing changed.There may have been some psychotic breakdowns in there too...” Cadmar trailed off awkwardly.
Florestan cringed at this. “I don’t doubt your last mission sucked...” he said. “Ouch. Is Maria all right?”
Cadmar rolled her eyes and grabbed Florestan’s hand and hoisted him up. “Yeah, she’s fine. She helped me out a lot, though being gone a week and all, I think she kinda missed you. I was just-”
“CADMAR! GET YOUR ASS- oh, hi Florestan!” Maria said from the open doorway to the RC. She walked out and gave Florestan a hug. “So, um, sorry for being gone for a week. It’s been hell for us.”
“I don’t doubt it,” he said. “I mean... Bloody hell, Cadmar is a woman now...”
“I guess I failed the scene from Mulan where the guy is making men out of the recruits.” Cadmar said with a grin. Maria flicked her hard in the ear. “Ow!”
“Don’t ‘Ow’ me, get back in there now! You have to get the equipment thing down, or the SO will never repeal your punishment.” Maria gave Cadmar a shove to the RC. Cadmar sighed deeply and walked back into the RC. “So, um...Hi!” Maria smiled up at him.
Florestan nodded, looking at Maria. “Hi,” he said. “I heard that when you got back, you were taken to the Sunflower Official directly. Are... Are you all right?”
“Yeah, he was kinda angry about the massive equipment failure, and um, we MAY have taken a vacation after the mission. You know, making sure Cadmar wouldn’t snap and all. The fun we had was a side-effect. Totally.” she gave a sneaky grin.
The DIC agent, of course, was not fooled. “Are you sure about that?” he asked. “I... I’d think you would take the whole “Sue-wraith possession thing a little harder...”
Maria’s ears drooped. “Yeah. I guess it would help to talk about it huh?” she slid down the wall and sat on the floor. “I...well, never felt like such a failure before. I’m supposed to be the experienced leader, and be able to protect them.”
Florestan nodded grimly, sitting down next to Maria. “You did the best you could,” he replied, softly.
“I wanna think that. But, every night since the possession he..she was up crying and having nightmares, and all I could do was just hold her.” Maria laughed bitterly. “She even told me how much she appreciated it, and offered me eternal servitude as a joke. Hell, I even asked if she was angry with me for not helping.”
The Disentangler nodded slowly. He didn’t say much else, but the arm he draped over Maria’s shoulders said more than he needed to. “I...” He let out a sigh of sadness.
“The SO had her stay behind for a ‘talk’. Said she had to stay a girl and keep the scars until she learned her lesson. Miah...” Maria leaned her head into Florestan’s shoulder. “Miah talked him out of the scars. If she hadn’t...Well, they weren’t helping with the recovery process. I had to hypnotise Cadmar just so she would take a shower.” Maria paused for a moment, “Though it is good to know Cadmar doesn’t want to take advantage of her situation for staring purposes.”
Florestan nodded. “Small comfort for everything else,” he commented. “I... I don’t really know... as a guy, I’d be horrified if my gender changed without my consent. At the moment... I think you’re doing everything you can. I don’t know how I’d react, but...” He left the sentence hanging, figuring Maria would figure out the unspoken part. He shook his head.
“Yeah. Oh, I got some neat ideas for something we should do sometime. Ever heard of zuzeln?”
Florestan frowned. “Not sure I have...” He shook his head. “Even though I probably should know what it is. Why?”
Maria giggled. “Oh, you’ll see. You off for a bit?”
The DIC agent’s eyebows rose, and then he smirked. “Sure,” he said. “But first... Do you think you’ll be all right?”
“Nothing a little unprofessional outing won’t fix.” Maria said with a grin while pulling an RA out.
Florestan glanced at her, blinking. “You sure it’s a good idea to leave HQ so soon after spending six days out of there?” he asked.
“Maybe. As long as we don’t stay for too long.” Maria opened up a portal. “Shall we?”
The taller agent nodded, closing his eyes as he did. “Sure, why not?” he asked. “Lead the way.”
As the portal closed behind the two, the door to the RC opened again and smoke billowed out into the empty corridor. Cadmar ran out screaming about freedom. Mark emerged from the doorway shortly after, coughing.
“At least we know she can use the smoke grenades.”
0*0*0*0
Heeeere’s Joohnnny!
“Aaaaaaaaarggghhhh!” Cali sat bolt upright in the bed, then yanked the covers over his back and over his head.
He heard thumping and clanging coming from the next room, then footsteps. They came closer. And closer.
The light flicked on, and Miah said, “Cali? Are you okay?” She gave a snort of amusement “Under the blanket? Really? Everyone knows you should go for a weapon to fend off the boogie man.”
Cali peeked out from under the covers. Miah shook her head. She was beginning to believe that the glasses were surgically attached to his face. How he managed to keep them on while sleeping, or caught in Word Tornadoes, she had no idea.
“It was like it was real! Only, Maria was that guy that gets killed, and Mark was the freaky psychic kid, and Cadmar was the axe-crazy guy, and he was chasing me, and I ran into the RC, but you weren’t here, and then he did that ‘Heeeere’s Joohnnny!’ thing. Then as I was screaming, he stopped and laughed and said he was just kidding, but I was already waking up!”
Miah shook her head. Was it bad that she could see Cadmar playing a prank like that? “Sounds like a crazy nightmare. Remind me to cross horror movies off the list of things you should be watching.”
0*0*0*0
As Cali was telling Miah about his nightmare, Cadmar, Maria, and Mark all sneezed in their sleep. Cadmar snuggled closer in between her stuffed platypus and Maria, who was snuggled up around both of them. Mark was sleeping a little closer to them then he had before their latest mission. And, even if only for one night, the consoles were silent in the RC.
Next appearance: Mission 11: Optional