Dragon Lady, part 3
Miah joins Mark, Maria, and Cadmar for one of the longest missions in PPC history.
Disclaimer: We do not own the PPC. It was created by Jay and Acacia--the original Assassins. The text below is a review in narrative form and also contains elements of parody/satire. Neither of us own Harry Potter, which is the property of J.K.Rowling. My Dragons Your Phoenix His Death Eaters and Heather, are owned by XxX Fleur-Delacour XxX. She may keep both.
This is a co-write between Caddy-shack and me. Read more of his stuff, too!
Caddy-shack’s Notes: Well, this started off as a Solo, with a cameo of Cali in the follow-up Interlude, and changed to me co-writing with Miah, and having a good time. Talk about good changes.
Sporked by: Cadmar, Mark, Maria, and Miah.
Rating: M for Much things happen.
Previous appearance: Dragon Lady, part 2
Dragon Lady
“I wish I had drop-kicked that little creep across the room, like I first thought to when he caught us. All his little traitor comments and being rid of the filth. We should have known he’d leave us here. Wherever here is exactly.” Miah rubbed her arms for warmth, and then started pulling winter weather gear from her pack.
“...Well, it isn’t that much out of character for him to just dump us like this, at least.” Maria said while herding the four OCs together.
“Cadmar, it appears we have a problem,” Mark said while looking down the hellhole.
Cadmar was looking through his pack for something warm to wear. “What is it?”
“The hellhole. It isn’t of sufficient size to dispose the Sue in.”
“What?” Cadmar pulled an exact copy of Maria’s coat out and put it on, zipping it up as she walked up to Mark. “What do you mea...Oh.” The hellhole was only nine inches wide. Nothing like the cavernous gaping hole she had imagined.
“Yes, a small problem.” Mark punned.
Cindy looked at them funny. “What d you mean? it’s right there, and it is huge!”
The four agents looked at each other for a minute. “Illusion?” Mark asked.
“Possibly,” Maria answered. “Hogwarts has something like it. One sec, I’ll fix our muggle issue,” she said while pulling the DORKS out and made a few adjustments to their disguises.
“Oh yeah! THAT’s what I’m talking about!” Cadmar shouted as she jumped on the spot, looking at the massive hole that they could all see clearly now.
“Whoa. Magic can be sincerely scary. I’m glad the ‘magic’ where I’m from is nothing more than superstition,” Miah muttered.
Maria looked down the hole. “Eesh, that looks like a looooong drop.” She looked at Cadmar, who had put the hood up on her coat. “Hey! How’d you get that!”
“I packed an extra in case you ever needed one. Heehee, it’s so comfy inside. Anyway, time to drop off Heather.” Cadmar moved over to Heather, who was tied up with rope.
“Heather,’ Cadmar said in a angry tone, to the Sue who she looked a bit like. “I can honestly say you are the worst person I have had the dis-pleasure of meeting. You were horrible to your friends, to everyone around you. You taunted, belittled, and picked on them, you wanted them to all act darker. You didn’t show any sadness after all of your ‘sisters’ died, you took over the story so nothing could happen without you. You were almost an exact female replica of Voldemort. I hate you, a lot. Words cannot properly describe it, so let this fourteen and a half kilometer drop do the talking for me.” Cadmar dragged her over to the edge of hole and stood her up.
“So, I hear you can dodge spells...” Cadmar reached into her pocket, glad Maria had returned her clothes. From her pocket she pulled out the M9 Beretta she had originally brought. Cadmar grinned malicously. “Dodge this.” she said aiming at Heather.
Bang!
“Alrighty then. One less Sue in the multiverse. So, yeah, that hole makes me rather nervous. What say we hike a bit and then set up camp for the night? Tomorrow we can figure out how to get back home.” Everyone started shuffling away from the hole, and generally in the same direction. Miah pulled Maria back, and waited until the others were several steps ahead. “You know Cadmar hasn’t really reacted to this, yet. It’s a lot. The torture, the violation of being possessed, the being turned into a girl. I’m worried for him.”
Maria nodded. “Yeah, me too. I’ll stay with him...HER tonight. I honestly don’t know what h-she will do when she snaps. I’ll just be there, it’s what worked for me.”
0*0*0*0
Day 1, Location: Somewhere in Russia. Morning.
They didn’t go far before they set up camp, and they didn’t spend much time visiting before they sacked out for the night. The next morning when Miah was helping the former OCs break down the four person tent they had slept in, she overheard Aurora complaining about not getting enough sleep, because someone had been crying all night. She left the girls and Blaise to figure out the tent themselves, and went to check on Cadmar.
Maria was just finishing wrapping up the two man tent that she and Cadmar had shared the night before. Cadmar was sitting, staring at the remains of the fire they’d used to cook breakfast blankly. H-she didn’t look too good. “How’d last night go, Maria?” Miah asked quietly.
Maria sighed. “You were right. Cadmar must have had a nightmare about the torture bit. Woke up crying and screaming. Poor thing couldn’t get to sleep for more then five minutes. I just did what was taught to me. When someone is completely breaking down, just hold them tight and let them know you’re there.”
“That’s about all we can do right now. There might be some time in FicPsych in order if it doesn’t help.” Miah gave Maria a small hug and went back to packing. Miah coaxed the four mini-Aragogs into her Pack with the promise that they could eat any bacon they found inside. They’d be fine in the magically large interior for a few days, provide she open the air canister sh had left in there in case of the need for carrying minis ever arose.
That day they got a ride from a trucker, who luckily believed they were just a group of college students backpacking across Europe. As they sat semi-comfortably in the back of the trucks box, getting a ride to the nearest city, they discussed what they were going to do.
“Not to be rude,” Blaise started, “but what exactly do you have planned? I would still like to go to Italy, but I’m not sure where it is you will be going.”
Maria exchanged glances with Mark and Miah. “Well, we can make a trip to drop you off and make sure you get there and all that. We’re not exactly sure what to do after that, we usually have a portal to get back, but it’s kinda broken...”
Miah looked at Cadmar, who was leaning against Maria, finally asleep. “Not the only thing,” she said quietly. “So, I heard a rumor that there is a place in the UK somewhere that is a doorway to HQ. If we could find that, then we could get home.”
“I’m pretty sure those were sealed up after the last invasion, but it couldn’t hurt to try.” Maria shifted a bit so as to not disrupt Cadmar. “So, we should probably take the, ah, scenic route. This mission has been pretty bad. I’m sure we have some collective vacation time.”
“That would be appreciated,” Mark said while reading a book. “We are also bringing in three new recruits, all of which are already of age, and capable of working whenever.”
Cindy looked at Mark. “Um, what exactly does the work entail? I’ve never heard of portals before.”
Maria snickered.”‘Well, to be specific what we do is...”
0*0*0*0
Day 1, Location: Somewhere in Germany. Noon.
Miah had her nose buried in her Good Beer in Germany guide book. “We are so not that far from Weihenstephan. Can we go for a tour? Please? It’s the oldest brewery still in operation in the whole world! It’s been running for almost a thousand years. Please?” Miah practically vibrated with her excitement.
Cadmar yawned loudly. “Like, a beer brewery?”
“Oh yeah. They still follow the Reinheitsgebot there. That’s a food purity law from 1516 that means the beer can only have hops, water, yeast, and barley in it. Nothing else. It was repealed in 1987, but some places still follow it.”
“Yeah! That sounds fun! What do you guys think?” Maria asked the OCs.
“You’re...going to get us drunk?” Belle asked, looking at the PPC agents strangely.
“I hear it is common way of unwinding after a stressful time,” Mark said while looking through an atlas. “I believe I can plot us a course to where the door should be.”
“Oh sweet!” Miah did a fist pump.
“Heh, getting hammered sounds awesome,” Cadmar said while yawning again.
0*0*0*0
Day 1 Location: Friesberg, Germany. Afternoon.
“That was really cool Miah, I can’t believe that they’ve been working for so long,” Maria said as the agents and OCs had settled into a bar in Friesberg for some unwinding.
“That was so cool. I never thought I’d actually get to tour that place. Ah, you can’t beat German beer,” Miah said, and then took on a drunken philosopher expression. “...Unless we get sausages!”
“Yes, I hear German sausages are also very good.” Mark sighed. “I fear getting drunk is a lost cause for me.” A large cheer from a small crowd in the bar drew their attention to Cadmar and CIndy, who were having a drinking contest. “Though this may not be a bad thing...”
“That looks good, but this is better! Lets zuzeln some weisswurst, Maria!”
0*0*0*0
Day 2 Location Friesberg, Germany. Morning.
“Unnn, God. My head is killing me!” Cadmar covered her head with the pillow and shied away from the light coming from the window.
“You two got carried away last night,” Bella said while closing the curtains for the large room they had rented for the night.
“Awesome beer. Who’s up for more sausage?” Miah said, way too chipper for the amount of drinking she had done the night before.
“You would think you and Maria had enough sausage last night. “Mark said somewhat irritatedly from the floor, being forced there because he was the only male, aside from Blaise. “I've never seen two people so enthusiastic about 'zuzeln' a sausage with someone else before.”
Miah got very still. “Oh. Yeah. Uh, I might have possibly gotten a bit carried away there. Sorry for jumping you to zuzeln your sausage, Maria.”
Maria grinned. “No problem Miah, this gives me a few idea for something to do with Florestan, actually.”
Aurora came out of the bathroom. “Ungh,” she grunted as she fell onto a bed beside Cindy, who was still out cold.
“How are you feeling, Cadmar? Need my patent pending hangover cure? You sure drank Cindy under the table.” Miah reached for her pack, just in case.
“Damn right I drank her under the table, but, ah, sure. I could use that cure.” Cadmar groggily got up and shuffled over to Miah.
Miah pulled out a glass, added some powder and mixed it with water. “Here, take these pills, and drink this. Wait a while, and then we’ll talk food. It would have worked great on Cali if he hadn’t gotten sent on a mission right after.”
Cadmar took the pills and downed the drink in one gulp. “Oh, how is Cali? I was hoping to actually play that game with him sometime.”
“I don’t know. He wasn’t doing too well after our last mission. He’s on downtime for a few days.” Miah shuffled a bit as she tried to figure out a way to delay the two hanging out. Stability was a good thing.
Cadmar was about to reply, when CIndy got up and ran to the bathroom, only to trip over a sleeping Blaise and puke on him. Cadmar burst out laughing at the scene. Miah noted it was still more then a bit insane sounding.
0*0*0*0
Day 2 Location: Rome, Italy. Noon.
“Well, here we are,” Blaise said, looking around. “It’s a lot...bigger, then I expected.”
“So here’s your final chance. You know you aren’t really Blaise Zabini, or Zambini, so you’ll have to have a new name. You’ll still be an Italian-Englishman that attended Hogwarts, you just won’t be a classmate that anyone really remembers. We’ll have it set that you came back to Italy to avoid the Death Eaters, and visit whatever family you remember having here. Here’s a few galleons. Now, what do you want your new name to be?” Miah handed the former OC a handful of galleons, which he pocketed.
“You know, “Cadmar said cutting in. “The Death Eater tattoo will be a dead giveaway, especially if the Ministry of Magic decides to hunt down the people who got it. You should probably get it removed...” Cadmar grinned sadistically, “Oh, look, I have a nice sharp machete right here, C’mon Blaise, little parting gift?” she said sweetly.
“Seriously? Who let hi-her keep the machetes?” Miah asked in general. She shot Maria a dirty look, and led Blaise around the corner.
“I ah, I won’t ever have to see her...him...IT ever again will I? I said I was sorry.” Blaise asked nervously.
“Give me a name you can live with, and this will just have been a strange dream that somehow resulted in you having a henna tattoo painted on your arm,” Miah said, checking to be sure that no one else was around to catch the neuralyzer flash.
“I’ve always liked Andros Capulet. What about my family’s names?”
“Well, Andros, they’ll never know you were ever a Blaise. Look at me.”
FLASH
0*0*0*0
Day 2 Location: Rome, Italy. Noon.
“Rome sure is beautiful,” Cindy said as they were looking over the city from the top of the Colosseum.
“Yeah, this is actually kind of fun!” Belle said while bouncing on her feet.
“Yeah, the travel benefits are really great, it’s getting to use them for fun that is the hard part.” Maria said while looking over a map with Mark.
“Hey Cadmar? Are you okay there? You’re so fidgety all of a sudden,” Miah said.
Cadmar was slowly shuffling from foot-to-foot. “I ah...I, umm. I have to...” Cadmar blushed a bit. “Ihavetogotothebathroom!”
“So, I’m sure there is one around here somewhere. There’s a sign for one.” Miah pointed at the international symbol for a men’s room.
Cadmar blushed more and mumbled something. Maria looked over and choked down a laugh while stepping on Miah’s foot and pointing to Cadmar’s chest.
“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. Uh, let’s go this way,” Miah said, grabbing Cadmar’s arm and pulling her toward the women’s rooms.
“I...don’t know what to do...” Cadmar said lamely, ignoring the others who were now laughing.
“Uhh, this isn’t the first time since...you know...is it?” Miah asked
“Y-yeah. It’s not like I ate or drank anything while I was possessed. I just kinda...held it in last night.” Cadmar’s blush was now at Cali level of blushing.
“Oookay. Well, you have noticed some missing equipment right? Just remember a few basic sanitary principles and you’ll be fine...” The rest of the conversation was cut off by the closing of the bathroom door.
0*0*0*0
Day 3 Location: Bran, Romania. Bran Castle. Noon.
Cadmar was hugging Maria tightly. “I’ve always wanted to visit here. Thank you!”
Maria laughed. “It’s no problem, I wanted to visit here too. Seeing Dracula’s castle is a must for all vampires.”
Mark and Aurora were quietly reading some pamphlets which detailed the history of the castle. Cindy and Belle were looking at some of the exhibits in the museum part of the castle. Miah was poking around the peasant village displays out on the grounds, and considering pestering someone for articles on any archeology work being done in the area.
Cadmar walked over to Bella and Cindy. “This place sure is great!”
Cindy smiled and nodded. “Yeah, it’s a lot like Beauxbatons, just smaller. Well, and creepier.”
Cadmar smiled. “Yeah, Vlad sure knew how to psyche people out. A mini forest of people impaled on spikes, man, that guy knew how to rock the ‘I am a ruler, fear me’ thing.”
“Oh, um, I didn’t know that.” Cindy looked uneasily around.
“What? We have to go on a tour then! He was called Vlad the Impaler, what with the impaling people, and is the inspiration for Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I loved that story as a kid.”
“We’d ah, love to but...Miah wanted our help with stuff in the village.” Belle said while tugging Cindy away.
Cadmar giggled at their retreating forms. “I love knowing history.”
0*0*0*0
Day 3 Location: Bran, Romania. Random bar. Nighttime.
“Gosh Miah, you sure are pretty, I never noticed before.” Belle slurred as she was supporting herself using Miah.
“Uh, alright. Thanks, I guess. You too.” Miah looked at Mark imploringly.
Mark was diligently going his duty of making sure that all the drinks were payed for, and they had two rooms for the night this time. His duty was far too important for him to be distracted. Totally.
Cindy and Aurora were drunkenly singing along with a few girls they had just met. Maria and Cadmar were laughing at Miah’s predicament.
“Mariaaaaaa,” Cadmar whined. “Why can’t I drink?”
Maria bopped Cadmar on the head. “Because, you scared the heck out of Cindy and Belle. And you shouldn’t be drinking all the time in your condition anyway.”
Cadmar mumbled a few more complaints, but soon fell silent.
“Hey, it’s not like I can drink either,” Maria said, hoping to remove the sudden silence.
“Well, why don’t you just disguise as a human and go have fun? I’m sure you’d be crazy with a few drinks.”
Maria snorted. “Yeah, get drunk, start taking off my suit and all my hard work at making everyone guess at what I look like goes to waste.”
Cadmar waited for a few seconds before answering coyly, “Maria, don’t you mean taking off you suit, and being naked in public?”
Maria dumped a glass of water on Cadmar’s head. “There’s your drink, smarty-pants.”
0*0*0*0
Day 3 Location: Bran, Romania. Random Inn. Middle of the night.
“Maria? Is she finally asleep again?” Miah whispered.
“Yeah.” Maria whispered back. “I knew getting two rooms was a good idea. I guess going to sleep drunk keeps the nightmares away. But I am NOT letting Cadmar become a drunk because of this.”
“Did you ever manage to get a good look at those tattoos?”
Maria looked away. “Er, not exactly. I didn’t want to just ask hi-her to show me, having painful flashbacks in a public place would be bad.”
“Yeah, flashbacks in public equal bad.” Miah leaned in closer, and then quickly stood up. “Oh, phew!” Miah waved her hand in front of her nose, “ I take it these aren’t just look-alike clothes, but the same clothes that she has been wearing since we entered this fic? I think the shirt is about ready to stand up and do a tap dance,” Miah said.
“Yeah, I’ve asked Cadmar about that too. She said that changing would be too awkward. I can’t really fault the logic, though not showering or changing clothes isn’t a very good solution. It really doesn’t help that he...she can’t actually smell either.”
“Really? I didn’t know that. Congenital?”
Maria shrugged. “No idea. He never said, just said it off hand after farting after we first met. I asked him why he didn’t seem bothered.” Maria looked shiftily to Miah, “Wanna check out the scars now? No better time.”
“Heavy sleeper?” Miah asked, pointing at Cadmar. At Maria’s nod, she continued, “If you don’t think it’ll wake him, then sure. Better to know what we’re dealing with before she sees them.”
Maria pulled up the front of Cadmar’s shirt, pausing for a second when Cadmar let out a snore. Miah opened the curtain a little to see better, not having night vision. The scars on Cadmar’s stomach were an angry looking pink, and definitely looked like someone had used a knife very liberally.
“I am not sure I want to know what’s going on with his insides. Definitely a trip to Medical, I think. How much do you think they can cut down on the scarring? You have been with the PPC longer than me.”
Maria gave a half hearted grin while running her hand lightly across the scars. “So, you’ve been here about five years, huh? Cali’d love to hear this. I dunno really, Medical could probably cut them down some. I’ve never heard of someone getting this much scarring without some kind of nearly fatal injury.”
“I didn’t say how long, just that you had more time. Let me see if I can--” Miah rolled Cadmar onto her stomach with surprising deftness, as if she’d had experience with moving people around. “There. This is worse than I thought, too. Look.”
Maria moved the shirt further up, inspecting the ‘celtic knot like design’. “Damnit...I can’t believe this. Why the hell did she even have these anyway? Why would someone torturing you draw neat looking lines?” Maria’s voice cracked a bit.
“Because she thought it was ‘cool’, I guess. Do you remember the flashback having all this? And the scars on the belly, I don’t remember them mentioning anything about that, do you?”
Maria nodded. “Yeah. Just before we nabbed her. The whole point of the pool scene was to show off her back so the canons could ask.”
“So...so...do you think Cadmar will remember all the parts that weren’t in the flashbacks? I mean I know he went through this ashes tattoo on the neck thing, but what about the rest of it that we didn’t see?” Miah asked tracing lightly over the tattoo.
“I hope not. I...I’ll ask him..her tomorrow. It would make me feel a lot better if h-she- damn it -didn’t but, if she does...” Maria moved Cadmar’s hair away from her neck to see the scar there better. “Blood traitor...Amycus Carrow...Alecto Carrow...” Maria read off, “And filled with muggle born ashes...Jesus...” Maria sniffled.
Miah gave Maria another hug. “Speaking of tomorrow, we should really get Cadmar some more appropriate clothing,” Miah said, waving her free hand over her chest as she said appropriate.
Maria gave watery giggle. “Yeah, heehee. I wonder what size...?” Maria flipped Cadmar over gently, and pulled the shirt down again. “Hmm, what would you say, Miah?”
“Bigger than some. Maybe a C? Not too sure on the band. Wow. I just realized what a tall woman Cadmar makes. You don’t see that many women in the six foot region. Makes me feel short,” Miah grumped, then glanced at Maria to see if it was cheering her up any.
Maria giggled. “Well, C is for Cadmar.”
0*0*0*0
Day 4 Location: Paris, France. Eiffel Tower. Noon.
Miah leaned her head over the railing. Then she leaned in to Cadmar and whispered, “Think I can hit someone down there with spit?”
Cadmar snickered. “Yeah, do it. I’ll make sure no one sees.” Cadmar yawned widely, and turned around to look for any people watching. Just as Miah was about to spit, Belle appeared beside her.
“Um, hi!”
Miah waved at Belle, and then went ahead and spit--just as a gust of wind hit the group in the face, spraying everyone, plus a few bystanders with another group. “Oh, nasty!” Miah said wiping her face. “Um, hi, Belle,” she said offering a wet wipe that had seemed to appear like magic from her pack.
“Oh, thanks.” Belle wiped her face off. “I ah, wanted to apologise for last night.” she said with a blush, totally ignoring Cadmar, Cindy, and Aurora, who were having a laugh in the corner at her expense.
“It’s all right,” Miah said slightly distractedly, as she looked at the security types looking at her. “Maybe I should go around the corner before trying that again. What do you think?”
“Yeah, that sounds fun.” Belle shifted awkwardly, “Um, I was also wondering if you would be up for... something later on? There were a couple of really neat looking restaurants on the way up here.”
“Up for something? Like what? Oh hey! I read that the abandoned subway stations under Paris are awesome to sneak into. Something like that?” Miah said, doing a ninja impression to go around the corner of the building.
“Well um, yeah, that could be fun. Me and you could do that, I’m sure the others have something else planned.” Bella said while gaining a slight blush.
Miah took a quick glance side to side, stuck her face to the wide mesh, and started to spit when she felt a heavy hand thump down on her shoulder. “Uh oh,” she said as she turned to face a rather angry looking security guard. Behind him two other guards had rounded up Maria, Cadmar, Mark, Cindy, and Aurora.
“You will all be returning to the ground level now,” the man said. The group were led to the elevators and sent down to the second level. When the doors opened there, they were greeted by more security who escorted them to the elevators to the first level, where the whole scene was repeated until they were outside at ground level.
“Well this was excellent.” Maria said sarcastically.
“I cannot believe I was the only one NOT to spit off of the top,” Mark said while glowering at the rest. Everyone had the good sense to look guilty. Well, everyone except Cadmar. “Woo! That was awesome! I can’t believe I actually got kicked out of a world famous place!”
Cindy smacked Cadmar on the back of the head. “We got kicked out for being bad, YOU got kicked out because you smell.”
Aurora huffed and rolled her eyes. “Well, we may as well go somewhere else since we’re in one of the most romantic places in the world.” She grinned. “Hey, maybe we can find some cute guys?”
0*0*0*0
Day 4 Location: Paris, France. Paris Catacombs. Afternoon.
Finally, after having walked around the building three times, the agents found the entrance, paid their money, and started down the stairs. The stairs seemed to spiral down into the ground endlessly, but finally opened up into the open space of a museum. It was chilly and damp. There were no bones to be seen, so far.
Cadmar was walking behind Belle, who was looking around nervously. Seeing the girls nervousness, Cadmar snuck up behind her and shouted in her ear. “Boo!”
Belle shrieked and jumped straight into Miah, who fell over. Belle blushed furiously while Cadmar was being chased around by an irate Maria for ‘making a scene’.
“Uh Belle, would you mind moving your hand?”
Aurora moaned, “Come on guys, we don’t want to get kicked out of two National Monuments in one day!”
“S-so M-Miah, how about that un, thing you wanted to ah, do?’ Maria looked between them , giggled, and ushered the others away. Cadmar was complaining loudly about being dragged around.
“Aw, I’m sorry to have to do this, Belle. You seem nice, and all, but I’m not into girls. Actually, I rarely think of anyone that way, but when I do, it’s men.”
“Oh...” Belle bit her lip and looked away. “I’m sorry, it’s just, you were really nice to me and the others, and I don’t really think I’m into guys all that much. not after having to kiss so many. I can’t really remember kissing a lot, but if I think on it enough, I do...”
Miah stood up, and gave Belle a hand. “Try not to think about it. It’s a knack for badfic recruits. You know, I know a guy that you should meet when we get back to HQ.” Miah saw the look Belle was giving her, and quickly said, “No, no, no. Not like that. This guy has no interest in that, period. I was meaning that he came from a badfic where some less than pleasant things happened, and he might be a good one to talk to for coping techniques.”
Belle smiled. “Thanks. Especially for not being weirded out. I don’t suppose you know anyone who would be interested? It never hurts to find options right?”
“Well, Maria sometimes likes girls, but she’s dating someone right now. What about Cindy or Aurora?”
Bella shook her head. “Nope, we’ve been friends forever, it would be too weird.”
Miah looked around. “Well, there’s always Cadmar.” Both girls waited for a few moments before bursting out laughing while starting off after the others.
0*0*0*0
Day 4 Location: Paris, France. Novotel Paris Vaugirard Montparnasse. Nighttime.
The sounds of a slight scuffle could be heard from the room Miah, Maria, and Cadmar had taken. Mark and the others decided not to investigate, and instead amused themselves with the silly requests they could get room service to do.
“No! I won’t do it!” Cadmar shouted while backing into a corner, both machetes drawn and a look of panic in her eyes.
“Aurora had a point, dear. If we don’t get you bathed and in clean clothes, then we aren’t going to be allowed to board the train tomorrow. Look, we’ve backed off, just take some deep breaths.” In an aside to Maria, Miah said, “I thought we took the machetes?”
“I DID, for some reason he just always has the bloody things!” Maria made peaceful gesture, “Now Cadmar, I know you can’t smell-”
“There is no smelling! Smelling is a giant conspiracy everyone but me is in on!”
“Okay, forget the smell issue. You’re not used to being a girl. There are certain...problems...remember what we talked about back in Rome? You’ve got to take a bath,” Miah said trying the logical approach.
Cadmar was looking not-so-shiftily to the door. “No. Not a chance, I’ll cut you.”
Maria stepped closer. “Oh, I know you’ll try, but my question is why? You look scared.”
“Is it because it’ll be real then?” Miah said, making sure she was between the door and Cadmar, and could access her gun quickly.
“...yeah...” Cadmar dropped the machetes and slid down the wall until she was siting on the ground. “It’s hard enough trying to ignore the...obvious bits, and closing your eyes and pretending away the bathroom stuff, but a shower...”
Miah thought for a moment then said, “Maybe if you thought of it as research for the future?”
Cadmar looked apalled. “That...that makes me not want to even more! Gah! Way too awkward!” Cadmar looked like she was about to get up again, when Maria jumped in front of her and pinned her down.
“Gah! Maria!”
“Shhh!” Maria leaned in really close to Cadmar’s face, causing the latter to blush furiously. “All right, you are going to take a shower,” Maria said in a slow, level voice. Miah noticed Cadmar’s facial expression turn from fright to half-asleep. “You’ll take a shower until you are very clean, and you will forget right afterwards, okay?” Cadmar nodded slowly and walked off to the bathroom in a daze.
“How the heck did you do that?” Miah asked in a whisper, to avoid disturbing Cadmar. “And what are we going to do with these clothes?”
Maria collapsed to her knees and was panting heavily. “I...I hypnotised hi-her. Don’t worry, it’ll wear off afterwards. I don’t use it a lot because it’s really draining, but I trust it right now more then a neuralyzer.” Maria fell on her side. “Just burn them.” she said tiredly. “I’m so glad I get to recharge after this...”
“You going to be okay?” Miah asked after she had retrieved her zat and shot the clothes three times in rapid succession to disintegrate them.
“Yeah, as long as I have a cuddle buddy for the night. You SURE you don’t wanna try?” Maria crawled slowly over to one of the beds and climbed onto it.
“Well, as long as there aren’t any grabby hands, I don’t mind sleeping together in the same bed,” Miah said.
Maria was silent for a moment. “Carry me?” she asked sweetly.
0*0*0*0
Day 5 Location: London, England. Big Ben. Noon.
Miah stared up at the clock tower of Big Ben. “Crud. I really wanted to spit off this too. I didn’t know foreigners weren’t allowed to enter it. Oh well. I say we find some other monument to get thrown out of!”
“Me too!” Cadmar said, while squirming in the clothes that Miah and Maria had given her. “Why do I have to wear some of your spare clothes again? The pants are kind tight, and what happened to mine?”
“Well, you see, sometimes it’s just time for clothes to move on to a better place,” Miah said. “Besides, you look good in jeans and a tank top.”
“Thanks, I guess. So, where to now? I feel the urge to spit on the masses below me.”
“Well, I heard The Monument is tall, and narrow. So we can go up it and probably have a good chance of hitting people below us,” Miah said.
“That sounds fun. You guys agree?” Maria asked.
Mark shrugged. “As long as we can do some sight seeing before being kicked out...”
“All right then! Let’s go!” Cadmar grabbed a hold of Miah and Maria and began walking. After several steps, she stopped. “Um, which direction is it?”
Day 5 Location: London, England. Restaurant. Afternoon.
“I cannot believe you would do that, Mark!” Maria seethed as they settled into a booth. “Seriously! YOU of all people! I am very disappointed.”
“I keep telling you! I am innocent!” Mark was practically flailing.
Miah noticed Cadmar trying valiantly to not laugh, and whispered, “How did you manage it?”
Cadmar grinned deviously. “Well, I just bought a bottle of lemonade, poked a hole in it, and poured it over the side at waist length. I even stood beside Mark too. Heh, and of course that guard would never accuse a girl of doing that.”
0*0*0*0
Day 5 Location: Wales. PPC Doorway 1-CYM-3. Nighttime.
“Well, here we are,” Maria said. The agents and OCs were standing in front of the entrance to the tunnels, which were supposed to lead to HQ.
“Yeah, we’re home,” Cadmar said with a smile.
“It was quite a journey, I enjoyed it greatly,” Mark said. “Now possessing a police record in the Harry Potter canon non-withstanding.”
“I’m glad we finally found it. Who knew that there was anything resembling mountains and woods in the UK?” Miah said, leaning against the wall to the side of the door.
Aurora was picking bits of branches from her hair. “I can’t believe we had to hike through a forest for six hours to find this!”
Cindy nodded, nursing a sprained ankle. “Yeah! It’s only ten minutes away from where we started looking!”
Belle was leaning against a tree breathing heavily. “Can we PLEASE get in before a bear finds us or something?”
Mark looked up. “Oh, it seems it will be a full moon tonight.” Everyone looked up, then looked at Cindy with horrified faces. Without a second thought, they raced into the tunnels, hoping to get into HQ where the messed up version of time would actually help for once. They had just found a door, and opened it to find...an entire platoon of security dandelions waiting for them. The entire party were quickly apprehended and brought to the SO’s office.
0*0*0*0
Location:PPC HQ. Office of the Sunflower Official
The SO tapped his fronds together while peering down at the assembled agents and OCs.
You have sure made a mess, haven’t you? Kicked out of several tourist attractions, banned from three restaurants, a criminal record for one of you. The SO leaned back in his chair. And that is only counting the offenses from your little...excursion. During your mission, your gadgets broke down due to misuse, and the poor upkeep of them. You had to resort to using a house elf, who STILL needs to be adjusted, one of you was tortured, genderbent, and nearly turned into a Mary Sue, and permanently destroyed ANOTHER Crash Dummy. I have half a mind to to lock you all in cells for several months, or possibly have you all separated and sent to the Department of Bad Slash permanently. At this, all the agents looked shocked and frightened.
A spark of defiance lit in Miah’s eyes. “My RA was broken by the Ironic Overpower throwing us all on top of it, just when I got it in my hands. At least that wasn’t our fault.”
The SO didn’t look taken aback at all. Mostly because he was a Flower, but that was beside the point.
Be that as it may, you have still taken an un-sanctioned vacation, for nearly six days. You did not even have the decency of taking the most direct route. And, barring that, you were in the company of three wizards who could have apparated here.
“Um, we, well, we, I don’t really have an answer to that one. Sorry,” Miah stepped back in line.
You are VERY lucky that all of you are, or WERE,in some cases, considered competent agents. That, and you bringing in three recruits who show some skill, works in your favor. The SO gestured to the dandelions, who took off the cuffs binding the agents and OCs. Now, I expect you to personally escort the new recruits to Personnel, and provide them with any assistance they will require. You will do this until they are assigned partners. Am I understood?
Everyone nodded.
Excellent, and do not take this as simply a firm slap on the wrist. You are treading a fine line. Do not cross it. You are all dismissed, except for Agent Cadmar.
“You’re not going to punish hi-her, are you? H-she’s been through a lot already,” Miah said, lagging behind the others who were being ushered out of the room.
I am aware, Agent Miah. Please make sure that neither you nor Cadmar’s partners decide to stay outside my office. I will be finished soon enough.
Cadmar watched Miah and the others give her sad looks as they left. Gulping she looked up to face her boss. “So, I can tell this isn’t just to ask if I am okay.”
Very perceptive of you. No, this is to decide what I am to do with you. I realize that punishing all of you would do more harm than good. One of the major reasons there has been no rebellions in so long is because I do not punish agents as harshly as I might want to. Running an entire organization full of creatures who are constantly in danger of becoming ‘flame thrower crazy’ as so many of you seem to enjoy calling it, means that I must appear as a better alternative then any other options.
“Sir, this is all fascinating, but what does it have to do with me?”
I think we can both agree that you are to blame for the entire situation, not through your actions, but through your in-actions. Had you taken care of your equipment better, the Crash Dummy would not have failed. Had you cleaned, or properly stored the Remote Activator, it would not have failed. Had you have properly stocked your pack, the dummy could have been fixed.
Cadmar wilted with each sentence the SO said. “Yeah...yeah, I know. I guess I just...thought that the tech wouldn’t ever break.”
Yes, many agents seem to have that opinion. The SO sighed. I am not completely indifferent to your situation, however. I realise you are still not completely recovered from your ordeal. As such, you will be required to go to Fic Psych, preferably sooner then later, and check yourself in. You will be allowed back into active duty when one of the doctors there tell me that you are no longer in danger of snapping completely.
“Thats’ it? I’ll go ri-”
Not so fast. That is not the punishment. I feel that a reminder is in order, that your actions, or neglect to act, has consequences that can harm yourself or your partners. Before stopping to Fic Psych, you are to go to Medical and have any serious problems removed.
“Sir? I don’t understand, that doesn’t sound like a pun-”
You are currently a different gender then what you were when you left for the mission, and you have received some permanent scarring from the possession. You are to keep both of them as a reminder, until such a time that I deem you have learned your lesson.
Cadmar gaped at the SO. “S-stay like this...How long do you think...?”
It may take a few days, or it could take years.
Cadmar nodded sullenly and walked out of the office facing the floor. She took off in a random direction, with the intent to brood, or possibly cry, in some secluded corner.
0*0*0*0
Miah knocked on the door. No point in annoying the Flower anymore than necessary.
Yes, Agent Miah? What do you require now? the SO said in a tired and annoyed voice. If you are looking for Agent Cadmar, she left some time ago.
Miah entered, and stood at something vaguely approximating attention. “I wanted to say that this is as much my fault as Cadmar’s. My Dummy was missing from my pack and so was my patch kit.”
Yes, they were missing weren’t they? Though, I am sure that them not being present, and them being poorly maintained is something you can tell the difference between.
“I can see a difference, but the results were the same. It’s only right that I should share some of the punishment.”
I highly doubt that you could share in the punishment. Unless you asking to be genderbent and have some scars attached to yourself?
“I don’t understand. I mean, no, I don’t want to be genderbent, but isn’t Cadmar at Medical getting that fixed by now?”
Yes, she currently is in Medical. She is getting any serious problems removed.
“But not the scars and genderbending? That’s the punishment? What is that supposed to accomplish?” Miah shouted.
A reminder. An extremely visible, and always present, reminder.
“That’s-- That’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard, you overgrown snackfood! You’re making him a permanent reminder to us all to not screw up, is that it? I’m only being reminded where my flamethrower is!”
I won’t even bother to ask if that is a threat. And at no point did I mention it was permanent. She will remain that way until I am shown that she has learned a lesson from this experience.
Miah sighed heavily, and her entire posture conveyed that she was done fighting. “Have you seen the scarring. Do you have any idea how bad that is going to be for hi-her mental stability? She couldn’t even change clothes for being afraid of having to look at them and remember how the Sue said they got there. You’ve got to take them away.”
The SO shuffled a bit in his seat. Was the point of your extended leave not to reinforce Agent Cadmar’s stability? I have told her that she is to sign into Fic Psych for an evaluation before returning to active duty.
It was time for Miah to look uncomfortable. “Well, yeah, it was, and it helped, but you didn’t see her, even at the end of the trip.”
Do tell me then, the SO said while leaning back in his chair and waiting patiently.
“Well, you know that scar tissue isn’t flexible, so she won’t be able to move and work effectively as an agent. But it’s more than that, Sir. The scarring is triggering flashbacks. She couldn’t even take a shower the last night. She was terrified to the point of hurting somebody, possibly even herself. Maria had to hypnotize her to get her to take one shower safely.”
The SO shifted uncomfortably. Indeed. I suppose if they are causing her that much pain and stress, it would be quite overboard to force her to keep them. Very well, Agent Miah, I thank you for bringing this to my attention. When you see her next, which will be soon enough I am sure, seeing as you seem so concerned for her well-being, you may tell her that she may have the scars removed. She is to keep her current gender, however, until she has proven that she has learned something. Dismissed. The SO picked up a report on his desk and began reading.
“I will do that, Sir.”
The End
Miah’s A/N: This Sue ended up annoying me more than any character I have ever read. I don’t believe I have ever met a more unlikable fictional person that was meant to be liked. Really. Biggest bitch in the history of bitchy characters. We really toned down a lot of her horribleness in this mission, and all the story we went through in this mission only amounted to a third of the fic. I counted. There were over fifty unique charges in only a third of the fic. The one scene we really wanted to get into the mission, but couldn’t was in chapter 23 with the Boggart, although, further on from that where she makes Voldemort even more OOC was pretty bad, too.
Now that I’m done complaining about the Sue, on to the fun stuff. I love writing missions with Cadmar, and I hope to continue for quite some time. Writing together takes something that can feel like slogging at times and make it something to look forward to. Also, we have plans. Yes, precious, many wonderful plans. Mwahahahaha!
Caddy’s A/N: I honestly never thought this would have been as fun as it has been. Co-writing is great. Anyway, I feel really good about this mission. Sure, it was longer then expected, clocking in at over 25K. I had some internal plot I wanted to add into the mission, and Miah was a great partner and actually helped with a few problems. Heck, my original idea was only using Cali as a small thing after I did the mission solo, and now it’s turned into this (Oh, and Cali will still be used. A lot).
Okay, now that I am done saying why I had fun, here is why I HATED this fic. Now, as I have said before, canon breaks can, at best, make me frown. I am a big fan of AUs, and I don’t take as much offense to making things in canons up as badly as my agents do, but Heather was a horrible person, who I absolutely loathe. The scene where our agents discuss her and her backstory? I added that in as I felt the need to showcase why she was so bad.
We didn’t really get to show all the badness, but she was consistently being mean to everyone, and got away with it. She showed complete apathy toward her dragons, treating them as a lot of Sues do CAFs. Heck, we didn’t even get to do all the things I wanted to, but we had time and believability constraints.
So, here is a breakdown of some of the worst things she does that we didn’t get to cover:
-In chapter 2, she tells Tonks, that if she wasn’t related to Remus, she would ‘If we weren't related, I'd do him," I winked.’ That strikes me as something that you don’t really bring up to your uncles girlfriend. Ever.
-In chapter 23, she faces a boggart, who takes on the from of her dead lover, and her unborn child. after confront her fears, she casts the spell that makes them into something funny. They turn into corpses. The corpses of her unborn child and lover.
-She talked Voldemort, an 18 year old Voldemort into holding off on the Final Battle for a week. Voldemort agrees, because his Death Eaters’ children need to finish their OWLs.
-Wiping Cindy’s memories over nothing more than her saying she wanted to officially be the second in command (and making it painful, and making the canons okay with it), taunting about all other’s who quit dying. She also apparently had them sign a contract, iron clad of course, when she was 11, that stated she could do that.
-She shows absolutely no remorse when any of her dragons died. And by the end of the story, only Aurora was alive.
-She does serious Ron Bashing. Seriously, she hated him from the first second, and she has no basis at all. Ron eventually calls her on it, calling her a Bitch, and he is reprimanded by the others for language.
-She is able to teach Harry Occlumency, but not only that, she continuously goes into his mind, using Snape’s method. When Harry uses the shield charm, like in book 5 canon, and ends up in her mind, she flips out, much like Snape.
-She, somehow, convinces Charlie that dragons are a species of whales with wings. No, I have no idea why.
-She likes to point out how Charlie is able to respect a woman, despite every other male (for what little time they did appear) not disrespecting woman.
-Just before the final battle she equips the entire order with guns. Guns she stole from a weapon shop, and replaced the originals with duplicates. She also stole enough ammo to kill every single Death Eater. That is, enough ammo so each Order member could kill every single Death Eater by themselves. Oh, and Hermione suddenly reveals she is from Da Hood in that chapter, and had to do B&Es because her parents didn’t make a lot as dentists.
Next appearance: Interlude 3: Picking Up The Pieces
Disclaimer: We do not own the PPC. It was created by Jay and Acacia--the original Assassins. The text below is a review in narrative form and also contains elements of parody/satire. Neither of us own Harry Potter, which is the property of J.K.Rowling. My Dragons Your Phoenix His Death Eaters and Heather, are owned by XxX Fleur-Delacour XxX. She may keep both.
This is a co-write between Caddy-shack and me. Read more of his stuff, too!
Caddy-shack’s Notes: Well, this started off as a Solo, with a cameo of Cali in the follow-up Interlude, and changed to me co-writing with Miah, and having a good time. Talk about good changes.
Sporked by: Cadmar, Mark, Maria, and Miah.
Rating: M for Much things happen.
Previous appearance: Dragon Lady, part 2
Dragon Lady
“I wish I had drop-kicked that little creep across the room, like I first thought to when he caught us. All his little traitor comments and being rid of the filth. We should have known he’d leave us here. Wherever here is exactly.” Miah rubbed her arms for warmth, and then started pulling winter weather gear from her pack.
“...Well, it isn’t that much out of character for him to just dump us like this, at least.” Maria said while herding the four OCs together.
“Cadmar, it appears we have a problem,” Mark said while looking down the hellhole.
Cadmar was looking through his pack for something warm to wear. “What is it?”
“The hellhole. It isn’t of sufficient size to dispose the Sue in.”
“What?” Cadmar pulled an exact copy of Maria’s coat out and put it on, zipping it up as she walked up to Mark. “What do you mea...Oh.” The hellhole was only nine inches wide. Nothing like the cavernous gaping hole she had imagined.
“Yes, a small problem.” Mark punned.
Cindy looked at them funny. “What d you mean? it’s right there, and it is huge!”
The four agents looked at each other for a minute. “Illusion?” Mark asked.
“Possibly,” Maria answered. “Hogwarts has something like it. One sec, I’ll fix our muggle issue,” she said while pulling the DORKS out and made a few adjustments to their disguises.
“Oh yeah! THAT’s what I’m talking about!” Cadmar shouted as she jumped on the spot, looking at the massive hole that they could all see clearly now.
“Whoa. Magic can be sincerely scary. I’m glad the ‘magic’ where I’m from is nothing more than superstition,” Miah muttered.
Maria looked down the hole. “Eesh, that looks like a looooong drop.” She looked at Cadmar, who had put the hood up on her coat. “Hey! How’d you get that!”
“I packed an extra in case you ever needed one. Heehee, it’s so comfy inside. Anyway, time to drop off Heather.” Cadmar moved over to Heather, who was tied up with rope.
“Heather,’ Cadmar said in a angry tone, to the Sue who she looked a bit like. “I can honestly say you are the worst person I have had the dis-pleasure of meeting. You were horrible to your friends, to everyone around you. You taunted, belittled, and picked on them, you wanted them to all act darker. You didn’t show any sadness after all of your ‘sisters’ died, you took over the story so nothing could happen without you. You were almost an exact female replica of Voldemort. I hate you, a lot. Words cannot properly describe it, so let this fourteen and a half kilometer drop do the talking for me.” Cadmar dragged her over to the edge of hole and stood her up.
“So, I hear you can dodge spells...” Cadmar reached into her pocket, glad Maria had returned her clothes. From her pocket she pulled out the M9 Beretta she had originally brought. Cadmar grinned malicously. “Dodge this.” she said aiming at Heather.
Bang!
“Alrighty then. One less Sue in the multiverse. So, yeah, that hole makes me rather nervous. What say we hike a bit and then set up camp for the night? Tomorrow we can figure out how to get back home.” Everyone started shuffling away from the hole, and generally in the same direction. Miah pulled Maria back, and waited until the others were several steps ahead. “You know Cadmar hasn’t really reacted to this, yet. It’s a lot. The torture, the violation of being possessed, the being turned into a girl. I’m worried for him.”
Maria nodded. “Yeah, me too. I’ll stay with him...HER tonight. I honestly don’t know what h-she will do when she snaps. I’ll just be there, it’s what worked for me.”
0*0*0*0
Day 1, Location: Somewhere in Russia. Morning.
They didn’t go far before they set up camp, and they didn’t spend much time visiting before they sacked out for the night. The next morning when Miah was helping the former OCs break down the four person tent they had slept in, she overheard Aurora complaining about not getting enough sleep, because someone had been crying all night. She left the girls and Blaise to figure out the tent themselves, and went to check on Cadmar.
Maria was just finishing wrapping up the two man tent that she and Cadmar had shared the night before. Cadmar was sitting, staring at the remains of the fire they’d used to cook breakfast blankly. H-she didn’t look too good. “How’d last night go, Maria?” Miah asked quietly.
Maria sighed. “You were right. Cadmar must have had a nightmare about the torture bit. Woke up crying and screaming. Poor thing couldn’t get to sleep for more then five minutes. I just did what was taught to me. When someone is completely breaking down, just hold them tight and let them know you’re there.”
“That’s about all we can do right now. There might be some time in FicPsych in order if it doesn’t help.” Miah gave Maria a small hug and went back to packing. Miah coaxed the four mini-Aragogs into her Pack with the promise that they could eat any bacon they found inside. They’d be fine in the magically large interior for a few days, provide she open the air canister sh had left in there in case of the need for carrying minis ever arose.
That day they got a ride from a trucker, who luckily believed they were just a group of college students backpacking across Europe. As they sat semi-comfortably in the back of the trucks box, getting a ride to the nearest city, they discussed what they were going to do.
“Not to be rude,” Blaise started, “but what exactly do you have planned? I would still like to go to Italy, but I’m not sure where it is you will be going.”
Maria exchanged glances with Mark and Miah. “Well, we can make a trip to drop you off and make sure you get there and all that. We’re not exactly sure what to do after that, we usually have a portal to get back, but it’s kinda broken...”
Miah looked at Cadmar, who was leaning against Maria, finally asleep. “Not the only thing,” she said quietly. “So, I heard a rumor that there is a place in the UK somewhere that is a doorway to HQ. If we could find that, then we could get home.”
“I’m pretty sure those were sealed up after the last invasion, but it couldn’t hurt to try.” Maria shifted a bit so as to not disrupt Cadmar. “So, we should probably take the, ah, scenic route. This mission has been pretty bad. I’m sure we have some collective vacation time.”
“That would be appreciated,” Mark said while reading a book. “We are also bringing in three new recruits, all of which are already of age, and capable of working whenever.”
Cindy looked at Mark. “Um, what exactly does the work entail? I’ve never heard of portals before.”
Maria snickered.”‘Well, to be specific what we do is...”
0*0*0*0
Day 1, Location: Somewhere in Germany. Noon.
Miah had her nose buried in her Good Beer in Germany guide book. “We are so not that far from Weihenstephan. Can we go for a tour? Please? It’s the oldest brewery still in operation in the whole world! It’s been running for almost a thousand years. Please?” Miah practically vibrated with her excitement.
Cadmar yawned loudly. “Like, a beer brewery?”
“Oh yeah. They still follow the Reinheitsgebot there. That’s a food purity law from 1516 that means the beer can only have hops, water, yeast, and barley in it. Nothing else. It was repealed in 1987, but some places still follow it.”
“Yeah! That sounds fun! What do you guys think?” Maria asked the OCs.
“You’re...going to get us drunk?” Belle asked, looking at the PPC agents strangely.
“I hear it is common way of unwinding after a stressful time,” Mark said while looking through an atlas. “I believe I can plot us a course to where the door should be.”
“Oh sweet!” Miah did a fist pump.
“Heh, getting hammered sounds awesome,” Cadmar said while yawning again.
0*0*0*0
Day 1 Location: Friesberg, Germany. Afternoon.
“That was really cool Miah, I can’t believe that they’ve been working for so long,” Maria said as the agents and OCs had settled into a bar in Friesberg for some unwinding.
“That was so cool. I never thought I’d actually get to tour that place. Ah, you can’t beat German beer,” Miah said, and then took on a drunken philosopher expression. “...Unless we get sausages!”
“Yes, I hear German sausages are also very good.” Mark sighed. “I fear getting drunk is a lost cause for me.” A large cheer from a small crowd in the bar drew their attention to Cadmar and CIndy, who were having a drinking contest. “Though this may not be a bad thing...”
“That looks good, but this is better! Lets zuzeln some weisswurst, Maria!”
0*0*0*0
Day 2 Location Friesberg, Germany. Morning.
“Unnn, God. My head is killing me!” Cadmar covered her head with the pillow and shied away from the light coming from the window.
“You two got carried away last night,” Bella said while closing the curtains for the large room they had rented for the night.
“Awesome beer. Who’s up for more sausage?” Miah said, way too chipper for the amount of drinking she had done the night before.
“You would think you and Maria had enough sausage last night. “Mark said somewhat irritatedly from the floor, being forced there because he was the only male, aside from Blaise. “I've never seen two people so enthusiastic about 'zuzeln' a sausage with someone else before.”
Miah got very still. “Oh. Yeah. Uh, I might have possibly gotten a bit carried away there. Sorry for jumping you to zuzeln your sausage, Maria.”
Maria grinned. “No problem Miah, this gives me a few idea for something to do with Florestan, actually.”
Aurora came out of the bathroom. “Ungh,” she grunted as she fell onto a bed beside Cindy, who was still out cold.
“How are you feeling, Cadmar? Need my patent pending hangover cure? You sure drank Cindy under the table.” Miah reached for her pack, just in case.
“Damn right I drank her under the table, but, ah, sure. I could use that cure.” Cadmar groggily got up and shuffled over to Miah.
Miah pulled out a glass, added some powder and mixed it with water. “Here, take these pills, and drink this. Wait a while, and then we’ll talk food. It would have worked great on Cali if he hadn’t gotten sent on a mission right after.”
Cadmar took the pills and downed the drink in one gulp. “Oh, how is Cali? I was hoping to actually play that game with him sometime.”
“I don’t know. He wasn’t doing too well after our last mission. He’s on downtime for a few days.” Miah shuffled a bit as she tried to figure out a way to delay the two hanging out. Stability was a good thing.
Cadmar was about to reply, when CIndy got up and ran to the bathroom, only to trip over a sleeping Blaise and puke on him. Cadmar burst out laughing at the scene. Miah noted it was still more then a bit insane sounding.
0*0*0*0
Day 2 Location: Rome, Italy. Noon.
“Well, here we are,” Blaise said, looking around. “It’s a lot...bigger, then I expected.”
“So here’s your final chance. You know you aren’t really Blaise Zabini, or Zambini, so you’ll have to have a new name. You’ll still be an Italian-Englishman that attended Hogwarts, you just won’t be a classmate that anyone really remembers. We’ll have it set that you came back to Italy to avoid the Death Eaters, and visit whatever family you remember having here. Here’s a few galleons. Now, what do you want your new name to be?” Miah handed the former OC a handful of galleons, which he pocketed.
“You know, “Cadmar said cutting in. “The Death Eater tattoo will be a dead giveaway, especially if the Ministry of Magic decides to hunt down the people who got it. You should probably get it removed...” Cadmar grinned sadistically, “Oh, look, I have a nice sharp machete right here, C’mon Blaise, little parting gift?” she said sweetly.
“Seriously? Who let hi-her keep the machetes?” Miah asked in general. She shot Maria a dirty look, and led Blaise around the corner.
“I ah, I won’t ever have to see her...him...IT ever again will I? I said I was sorry.” Blaise asked nervously.
“Give me a name you can live with, and this will just have been a strange dream that somehow resulted in you having a henna tattoo painted on your arm,” Miah said, checking to be sure that no one else was around to catch the neuralyzer flash.
“I’ve always liked Andros Capulet. What about my family’s names?”
“Well, Andros, they’ll never know you were ever a Blaise. Look at me.”
FLASH
0*0*0*0
Day 2 Location: Rome, Italy. Noon.
“Rome sure is beautiful,” Cindy said as they were looking over the city from the top of the Colosseum.
“Yeah, this is actually kind of fun!” Belle said while bouncing on her feet.
“Yeah, the travel benefits are really great, it’s getting to use them for fun that is the hard part.” Maria said while looking over a map with Mark.
“Hey Cadmar? Are you okay there? You’re so fidgety all of a sudden,” Miah said.
Cadmar was slowly shuffling from foot-to-foot. “I ah...I, umm. I have to...” Cadmar blushed a bit. “Ihavetogotothebathroom!”
“So, I’m sure there is one around here somewhere. There’s a sign for one.” Miah pointed at the international symbol for a men’s room.
Cadmar blushed more and mumbled something. Maria looked over and choked down a laugh while stepping on Miah’s foot and pointing to Cadmar’s chest.
“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. Uh, let’s go this way,” Miah said, grabbing Cadmar’s arm and pulling her toward the women’s rooms.
“I...don’t know what to do...” Cadmar said lamely, ignoring the others who were now laughing.
“Uhh, this isn’t the first time since...you know...is it?” Miah asked
“Y-yeah. It’s not like I ate or drank anything while I was possessed. I just kinda...held it in last night.” Cadmar’s blush was now at Cali level of blushing.
“Oookay. Well, you have noticed some missing equipment right? Just remember a few basic sanitary principles and you’ll be fine...” The rest of the conversation was cut off by the closing of the bathroom door.
0*0*0*0
Day 3 Location: Bran, Romania. Bran Castle. Noon.
Cadmar was hugging Maria tightly. “I’ve always wanted to visit here. Thank you!”
Maria laughed. “It’s no problem, I wanted to visit here too. Seeing Dracula’s castle is a must for all vampires.”
Mark and Aurora were quietly reading some pamphlets which detailed the history of the castle. Cindy and Belle were looking at some of the exhibits in the museum part of the castle. Miah was poking around the peasant village displays out on the grounds, and considering pestering someone for articles on any archeology work being done in the area.
Cadmar walked over to Bella and Cindy. “This place sure is great!”
Cindy smiled and nodded. “Yeah, it’s a lot like Beauxbatons, just smaller. Well, and creepier.”
Cadmar smiled. “Yeah, Vlad sure knew how to psyche people out. A mini forest of people impaled on spikes, man, that guy knew how to rock the ‘I am a ruler, fear me’ thing.”
“Oh, um, I didn’t know that.” Cindy looked uneasily around.
“What? We have to go on a tour then! He was called Vlad the Impaler, what with the impaling people, and is the inspiration for Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I loved that story as a kid.”
“We’d ah, love to but...Miah wanted our help with stuff in the village.” Belle said while tugging Cindy away.
Cadmar giggled at their retreating forms. “I love knowing history.”
0*0*0*0
Day 3 Location: Bran, Romania. Random bar. Nighttime.
“Gosh Miah, you sure are pretty, I never noticed before.” Belle slurred as she was supporting herself using Miah.
“Uh, alright. Thanks, I guess. You too.” Miah looked at Mark imploringly.
Mark was diligently going his duty of making sure that all the drinks were payed for, and they had two rooms for the night this time. His duty was far too important for him to be distracted. Totally.
Cindy and Aurora were drunkenly singing along with a few girls they had just met. Maria and Cadmar were laughing at Miah’s predicament.
“Mariaaaaaa,” Cadmar whined. “Why can’t I drink?”
Maria bopped Cadmar on the head. “Because, you scared the heck out of Cindy and Belle. And you shouldn’t be drinking all the time in your condition anyway.”
Cadmar mumbled a few more complaints, but soon fell silent.
“Hey, it’s not like I can drink either,” Maria said, hoping to remove the sudden silence.
“Well, why don’t you just disguise as a human and go have fun? I’m sure you’d be crazy with a few drinks.”
Maria snorted. “Yeah, get drunk, start taking off my suit and all my hard work at making everyone guess at what I look like goes to waste.”
Cadmar waited for a few seconds before answering coyly, “Maria, don’t you mean taking off you suit, and being naked in public?”
Maria dumped a glass of water on Cadmar’s head. “There’s your drink, smarty-pants.”
0*0*0*0
Day 3 Location: Bran, Romania. Random Inn. Middle of the night.
“Maria? Is she finally asleep again?” Miah whispered.
“Yeah.” Maria whispered back. “I knew getting two rooms was a good idea. I guess going to sleep drunk keeps the nightmares away. But I am NOT letting Cadmar become a drunk because of this.”
“Did you ever manage to get a good look at those tattoos?”
Maria looked away. “Er, not exactly. I didn’t want to just ask hi-her to show me, having painful flashbacks in a public place would be bad.”
“Yeah, flashbacks in public equal bad.” Miah leaned in closer, and then quickly stood up. “Oh, phew!” Miah waved her hand in front of her nose, “ I take it these aren’t just look-alike clothes, but the same clothes that she has been wearing since we entered this fic? I think the shirt is about ready to stand up and do a tap dance,” Miah said.
“Yeah, I’ve asked Cadmar about that too. She said that changing would be too awkward. I can’t really fault the logic, though not showering or changing clothes isn’t a very good solution. It really doesn’t help that he...she can’t actually smell either.”
“Really? I didn’t know that. Congenital?”
Maria shrugged. “No idea. He never said, just said it off hand after farting after we first met. I asked him why he didn’t seem bothered.” Maria looked shiftily to Miah, “Wanna check out the scars now? No better time.”
“Heavy sleeper?” Miah asked, pointing at Cadmar. At Maria’s nod, she continued, “If you don’t think it’ll wake him, then sure. Better to know what we’re dealing with before she sees them.”
Maria pulled up the front of Cadmar’s shirt, pausing for a second when Cadmar let out a snore. Miah opened the curtain a little to see better, not having night vision. The scars on Cadmar’s stomach were an angry looking pink, and definitely looked like someone had used a knife very liberally.
“I am not sure I want to know what’s going on with his insides. Definitely a trip to Medical, I think. How much do you think they can cut down on the scarring? You have been with the PPC longer than me.”
Maria gave a half hearted grin while running her hand lightly across the scars. “So, you’ve been here about five years, huh? Cali’d love to hear this. I dunno really, Medical could probably cut them down some. I’ve never heard of someone getting this much scarring without some kind of nearly fatal injury.”
“I didn’t say how long, just that you had more time. Let me see if I can--” Miah rolled Cadmar onto her stomach with surprising deftness, as if she’d had experience with moving people around. “There. This is worse than I thought, too. Look.”
Maria moved the shirt further up, inspecting the ‘celtic knot like design’. “Damnit...I can’t believe this. Why the hell did she even have these anyway? Why would someone torturing you draw neat looking lines?” Maria’s voice cracked a bit.
“Because she thought it was ‘cool’, I guess. Do you remember the flashback having all this? And the scars on the belly, I don’t remember them mentioning anything about that, do you?”
Maria nodded. “Yeah. Just before we nabbed her. The whole point of the pool scene was to show off her back so the canons could ask.”
“So...so...do you think Cadmar will remember all the parts that weren’t in the flashbacks? I mean I know he went through this ashes tattoo on the neck thing, but what about the rest of it that we didn’t see?” Miah asked tracing lightly over the tattoo.
“I hope not. I...I’ll ask him..her tomorrow. It would make me feel a lot better if h-she- damn it -didn’t but, if she does...” Maria moved Cadmar’s hair away from her neck to see the scar there better. “Blood traitor...Amycus Carrow...Alecto Carrow...” Maria read off, “And filled with muggle born ashes...Jesus...” Maria sniffled.
Miah gave Maria another hug. “Speaking of tomorrow, we should really get Cadmar some more appropriate clothing,” Miah said, waving her free hand over her chest as she said appropriate.
Maria gave watery giggle. “Yeah, heehee. I wonder what size...?” Maria flipped Cadmar over gently, and pulled the shirt down again. “Hmm, what would you say, Miah?”
“Bigger than some. Maybe a C? Not too sure on the band. Wow. I just realized what a tall woman Cadmar makes. You don’t see that many women in the six foot region. Makes me feel short,” Miah grumped, then glanced at Maria to see if it was cheering her up any.
Maria giggled. “Well, C is for Cadmar.”
0*0*0*0
Day 4 Location: Paris, France. Eiffel Tower. Noon.
Miah leaned her head over the railing. Then she leaned in to Cadmar and whispered, “Think I can hit someone down there with spit?”
Cadmar snickered. “Yeah, do it. I’ll make sure no one sees.” Cadmar yawned widely, and turned around to look for any people watching. Just as Miah was about to spit, Belle appeared beside her.
“Um, hi!”
Miah waved at Belle, and then went ahead and spit--just as a gust of wind hit the group in the face, spraying everyone, plus a few bystanders with another group. “Oh, nasty!” Miah said wiping her face. “Um, hi, Belle,” she said offering a wet wipe that had seemed to appear like magic from her pack.
“Oh, thanks.” Belle wiped her face off. “I ah, wanted to apologise for last night.” she said with a blush, totally ignoring Cadmar, Cindy, and Aurora, who were having a laugh in the corner at her expense.
“It’s all right,” Miah said slightly distractedly, as she looked at the security types looking at her. “Maybe I should go around the corner before trying that again. What do you think?”
“Yeah, that sounds fun.” Belle shifted awkwardly, “Um, I was also wondering if you would be up for... something later on? There were a couple of really neat looking restaurants on the way up here.”
“Up for something? Like what? Oh hey! I read that the abandoned subway stations under Paris are awesome to sneak into. Something like that?” Miah said, doing a ninja impression to go around the corner of the building.
“Well um, yeah, that could be fun. Me and you could do that, I’m sure the others have something else planned.” Bella said while gaining a slight blush.
Miah took a quick glance side to side, stuck her face to the wide mesh, and started to spit when she felt a heavy hand thump down on her shoulder. “Uh oh,” she said as she turned to face a rather angry looking security guard. Behind him two other guards had rounded up Maria, Cadmar, Mark, Cindy, and Aurora.
“You will all be returning to the ground level now,” the man said. The group were led to the elevators and sent down to the second level. When the doors opened there, they were greeted by more security who escorted them to the elevators to the first level, where the whole scene was repeated until they were outside at ground level.
“Well this was excellent.” Maria said sarcastically.
“I cannot believe I was the only one NOT to spit off of the top,” Mark said while glowering at the rest. Everyone had the good sense to look guilty. Well, everyone except Cadmar. “Woo! That was awesome! I can’t believe I actually got kicked out of a world famous place!”
Cindy smacked Cadmar on the back of the head. “We got kicked out for being bad, YOU got kicked out because you smell.”
Aurora huffed and rolled her eyes. “Well, we may as well go somewhere else since we’re in one of the most romantic places in the world.” She grinned. “Hey, maybe we can find some cute guys?”
0*0*0*0
Day 4 Location: Paris, France. Paris Catacombs. Afternoon.
Finally, after having walked around the building three times, the agents found the entrance, paid their money, and started down the stairs. The stairs seemed to spiral down into the ground endlessly, but finally opened up into the open space of a museum. It was chilly and damp. There were no bones to be seen, so far.
Cadmar was walking behind Belle, who was looking around nervously. Seeing the girls nervousness, Cadmar snuck up behind her and shouted in her ear. “Boo!”
Belle shrieked and jumped straight into Miah, who fell over. Belle blushed furiously while Cadmar was being chased around by an irate Maria for ‘making a scene’.
“Uh Belle, would you mind moving your hand?”
Aurora moaned, “Come on guys, we don’t want to get kicked out of two National Monuments in one day!”
“S-so M-Miah, how about that un, thing you wanted to ah, do?’ Maria looked between them , giggled, and ushered the others away. Cadmar was complaining loudly about being dragged around.
“Aw, I’m sorry to have to do this, Belle. You seem nice, and all, but I’m not into girls. Actually, I rarely think of anyone that way, but when I do, it’s men.”
“Oh...” Belle bit her lip and looked away. “I’m sorry, it’s just, you were really nice to me and the others, and I don’t really think I’m into guys all that much. not after having to kiss so many. I can’t really remember kissing a lot, but if I think on it enough, I do...”
Miah stood up, and gave Belle a hand. “Try not to think about it. It’s a knack for badfic recruits. You know, I know a guy that you should meet when we get back to HQ.” Miah saw the look Belle was giving her, and quickly said, “No, no, no. Not like that. This guy has no interest in that, period. I was meaning that he came from a badfic where some less than pleasant things happened, and he might be a good one to talk to for coping techniques.”
Belle smiled. “Thanks. Especially for not being weirded out. I don’t suppose you know anyone who would be interested? It never hurts to find options right?”
“Well, Maria sometimes likes girls, but she’s dating someone right now. What about Cindy or Aurora?”
Bella shook her head. “Nope, we’ve been friends forever, it would be too weird.”
Miah looked around. “Well, there’s always Cadmar.” Both girls waited for a few moments before bursting out laughing while starting off after the others.
0*0*0*0
Day 4 Location: Paris, France. Novotel Paris Vaugirard Montparnasse. Nighttime.
The sounds of a slight scuffle could be heard from the room Miah, Maria, and Cadmar had taken. Mark and the others decided not to investigate, and instead amused themselves with the silly requests they could get room service to do.
“No! I won’t do it!” Cadmar shouted while backing into a corner, both machetes drawn and a look of panic in her eyes.
“Aurora had a point, dear. If we don’t get you bathed and in clean clothes, then we aren’t going to be allowed to board the train tomorrow. Look, we’ve backed off, just take some deep breaths.” In an aside to Maria, Miah said, “I thought we took the machetes?”
“I DID, for some reason he just always has the bloody things!” Maria made peaceful gesture, “Now Cadmar, I know you can’t smell-”
“There is no smelling! Smelling is a giant conspiracy everyone but me is in on!”
“Okay, forget the smell issue. You’re not used to being a girl. There are certain...problems...remember what we talked about back in Rome? You’ve got to take a bath,” Miah said trying the logical approach.
Cadmar was looking not-so-shiftily to the door. “No. Not a chance, I’ll cut you.”
Maria stepped closer. “Oh, I know you’ll try, but my question is why? You look scared.”
“Is it because it’ll be real then?” Miah said, making sure she was between the door and Cadmar, and could access her gun quickly.
“...yeah...” Cadmar dropped the machetes and slid down the wall until she was siting on the ground. “It’s hard enough trying to ignore the...obvious bits, and closing your eyes and pretending away the bathroom stuff, but a shower...”
Miah thought for a moment then said, “Maybe if you thought of it as research for the future?”
Cadmar looked apalled. “That...that makes me not want to even more! Gah! Way too awkward!” Cadmar looked like she was about to get up again, when Maria jumped in front of her and pinned her down.
“Gah! Maria!”
“Shhh!” Maria leaned in really close to Cadmar’s face, causing the latter to blush furiously. “All right, you are going to take a shower,” Maria said in a slow, level voice. Miah noticed Cadmar’s facial expression turn from fright to half-asleep. “You’ll take a shower until you are very clean, and you will forget right afterwards, okay?” Cadmar nodded slowly and walked off to the bathroom in a daze.
“How the heck did you do that?” Miah asked in a whisper, to avoid disturbing Cadmar. “And what are we going to do with these clothes?”
Maria collapsed to her knees and was panting heavily. “I...I hypnotised hi-her. Don’t worry, it’ll wear off afterwards. I don’t use it a lot because it’s really draining, but I trust it right now more then a neuralyzer.” Maria fell on her side. “Just burn them.” she said tiredly. “I’m so glad I get to recharge after this...”
“You going to be okay?” Miah asked after she had retrieved her zat and shot the clothes three times in rapid succession to disintegrate them.
“Yeah, as long as I have a cuddle buddy for the night. You SURE you don’t wanna try?” Maria crawled slowly over to one of the beds and climbed onto it.
“Well, as long as there aren’t any grabby hands, I don’t mind sleeping together in the same bed,” Miah said.
Maria was silent for a moment. “Carry me?” she asked sweetly.
0*0*0*0
Day 5 Location: London, England. Big Ben. Noon.
Miah stared up at the clock tower of Big Ben. “Crud. I really wanted to spit off this too. I didn’t know foreigners weren’t allowed to enter it. Oh well. I say we find some other monument to get thrown out of!”
“Me too!” Cadmar said, while squirming in the clothes that Miah and Maria had given her. “Why do I have to wear some of your spare clothes again? The pants are kind tight, and what happened to mine?”
“Well, you see, sometimes it’s just time for clothes to move on to a better place,” Miah said. “Besides, you look good in jeans and a tank top.”
“Thanks, I guess. So, where to now? I feel the urge to spit on the masses below me.”
“Well, I heard The Monument is tall, and narrow. So we can go up it and probably have a good chance of hitting people below us,” Miah said.
“That sounds fun. You guys agree?” Maria asked.
Mark shrugged. “As long as we can do some sight seeing before being kicked out...”
“All right then! Let’s go!” Cadmar grabbed a hold of Miah and Maria and began walking. After several steps, she stopped. “Um, which direction is it?”
Day 5 Location: London, England. Restaurant. Afternoon.
“I cannot believe you would do that, Mark!” Maria seethed as they settled into a booth. “Seriously! YOU of all people! I am very disappointed.”
“I keep telling you! I am innocent!” Mark was practically flailing.
Miah noticed Cadmar trying valiantly to not laugh, and whispered, “How did you manage it?”
Cadmar grinned deviously. “Well, I just bought a bottle of lemonade, poked a hole in it, and poured it over the side at waist length. I even stood beside Mark too. Heh, and of course that guard would never accuse a girl of doing that.”
0*0*0*0
Day 5 Location: Wales. PPC Doorway 1-CYM-3. Nighttime.
“Well, here we are,” Maria said. The agents and OCs were standing in front of the entrance to the tunnels, which were supposed to lead to HQ.
“Yeah, we’re home,” Cadmar said with a smile.
“It was quite a journey, I enjoyed it greatly,” Mark said. “Now possessing a police record in the Harry Potter canon non-withstanding.”
“I’m glad we finally found it. Who knew that there was anything resembling mountains and woods in the UK?” Miah said, leaning against the wall to the side of the door.
Aurora was picking bits of branches from her hair. “I can’t believe we had to hike through a forest for six hours to find this!”
Cindy nodded, nursing a sprained ankle. “Yeah! It’s only ten minutes away from where we started looking!”
Belle was leaning against a tree breathing heavily. “Can we PLEASE get in before a bear finds us or something?”
Mark looked up. “Oh, it seems it will be a full moon tonight.” Everyone looked up, then looked at Cindy with horrified faces. Without a second thought, they raced into the tunnels, hoping to get into HQ where the messed up version of time would actually help for once. They had just found a door, and opened it to find...an entire platoon of security dandelions waiting for them. The entire party were quickly apprehended and brought to the SO’s office.
0*0*0*0
Location:PPC HQ. Office of the Sunflower Official
The SO tapped his fronds together while peering down at the assembled agents and OCs.
You have sure made a mess, haven’t you? Kicked out of several tourist attractions, banned from three restaurants, a criminal record for one of you. The SO leaned back in his chair. And that is only counting the offenses from your little...excursion. During your mission, your gadgets broke down due to misuse, and the poor upkeep of them. You had to resort to using a house elf, who STILL needs to be adjusted, one of you was tortured, genderbent, and nearly turned into a Mary Sue, and permanently destroyed ANOTHER Crash Dummy. I have half a mind to to lock you all in cells for several months, or possibly have you all separated and sent to the Department of Bad Slash permanently. At this, all the agents looked shocked and frightened.
A spark of defiance lit in Miah’s eyes. “My RA was broken by the Ironic Overpower throwing us all on top of it, just when I got it in my hands. At least that wasn’t our fault.”
The SO didn’t look taken aback at all. Mostly because he was a Flower, but that was beside the point.
Be that as it may, you have still taken an un-sanctioned vacation, for nearly six days. You did not even have the decency of taking the most direct route. And, barring that, you were in the company of three wizards who could have apparated here.
“Um, we, well, we, I don’t really have an answer to that one. Sorry,” Miah stepped back in line.
You are VERY lucky that all of you are, or WERE,in some cases, considered competent agents. That, and you bringing in three recruits who show some skill, works in your favor. The SO gestured to the dandelions, who took off the cuffs binding the agents and OCs. Now, I expect you to personally escort the new recruits to Personnel, and provide them with any assistance they will require. You will do this until they are assigned partners. Am I understood?
Everyone nodded.
Excellent, and do not take this as simply a firm slap on the wrist. You are treading a fine line. Do not cross it. You are all dismissed, except for Agent Cadmar.
“You’re not going to punish hi-her, are you? H-she’s been through a lot already,” Miah said, lagging behind the others who were being ushered out of the room.
I am aware, Agent Miah. Please make sure that neither you nor Cadmar’s partners decide to stay outside my office. I will be finished soon enough.
Cadmar watched Miah and the others give her sad looks as they left. Gulping she looked up to face her boss. “So, I can tell this isn’t just to ask if I am okay.”
Very perceptive of you. No, this is to decide what I am to do with you. I realize that punishing all of you would do more harm than good. One of the major reasons there has been no rebellions in so long is because I do not punish agents as harshly as I might want to. Running an entire organization full of creatures who are constantly in danger of becoming ‘flame thrower crazy’ as so many of you seem to enjoy calling it, means that I must appear as a better alternative then any other options.
“Sir, this is all fascinating, but what does it have to do with me?”
I think we can both agree that you are to blame for the entire situation, not through your actions, but through your in-actions. Had you taken care of your equipment better, the Crash Dummy would not have failed. Had you cleaned, or properly stored the Remote Activator, it would not have failed. Had you have properly stocked your pack, the dummy could have been fixed.
Cadmar wilted with each sentence the SO said. “Yeah...yeah, I know. I guess I just...thought that the tech wouldn’t ever break.”
Yes, many agents seem to have that opinion. The SO sighed. I am not completely indifferent to your situation, however. I realise you are still not completely recovered from your ordeal. As such, you will be required to go to Fic Psych, preferably sooner then later, and check yourself in. You will be allowed back into active duty when one of the doctors there tell me that you are no longer in danger of snapping completely.
“Thats’ it? I’ll go ri-”
Not so fast. That is not the punishment. I feel that a reminder is in order, that your actions, or neglect to act, has consequences that can harm yourself or your partners. Before stopping to Fic Psych, you are to go to Medical and have any serious problems removed.
“Sir? I don’t understand, that doesn’t sound like a pun-”
You are currently a different gender then what you were when you left for the mission, and you have received some permanent scarring from the possession. You are to keep both of them as a reminder, until such a time that I deem you have learned your lesson.
Cadmar gaped at the SO. “S-stay like this...How long do you think...?”
It may take a few days, or it could take years.
Cadmar nodded sullenly and walked out of the office facing the floor. She took off in a random direction, with the intent to brood, or possibly cry, in some secluded corner.
0*0*0*0
Miah knocked on the door. No point in annoying the Flower anymore than necessary.
Yes, Agent Miah? What do you require now? the SO said in a tired and annoyed voice. If you are looking for Agent Cadmar, she left some time ago.
Miah entered, and stood at something vaguely approximating attention. “I wanted to say that this is as much my fault as Cadmar’s. My Dummy was missing from my pack and so was my patch kit.”
Yes, they were missing weren’t they? Though, I am sure that them not being present, and them being poorly maintained is something you can tell the difference between.
“I can see a difference, but the results were the same. It’s only right that I should share some of the punishment.”
I highly doubt that you could share in the punishment. Unless you asking to be genderbent and have some scars attached to yourself?
“I don’t understand. I mean, no, I don’t want to be genderbent, but isn’t Cadmar at Medical getting that fixed by now?”
Yes, she currently is in Medical. She is getting any serious problems removed.
“But not the scars and genderbending? That’s the punishment? What is that supposed to accomplish?” Miah shouted.
A reminder. An extremely visible, and always present, reminder.
“That’s-- That’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard, you overgrown snackfood! You’re making him a permanent reminder to us all to not screw up, is that it? I’m only being reminded where my flamethrower is!”
I won’t even bother to ask if that is a threat. And at no point did I mention it was permanent. She will remain that way until I am shown that she has learned a lesson from this experience.
Miah sighed heavily, and her entire posture conveyed that she was done fighting. “Have you seen the scarring. Do you have any idea how bad that is going to be for hi-her mental stability? She couldn’t even change clothes for being afraid of having to look at them and remember how the Sue said they got there. You’ve got to take them away.”
The SO shuffled a bit in his seat. Was the point of your extended leave not to reinforce Agent Cadmar’s stability? I have told her that she is to sign into Fic Psych for an evaluation before returning to active duty.
It was time for Miah to look uncomfortable. “Well, yeah, it was, and it helped, but you didn’t see her, even at the end of the trip.”
Do tell me then, the SO said while leaning back in his chair and waiting patiently.
“Well, you know that scar tissue isn’t flexible, so she won’t be able to move and work effectively as an agent. But it’s more than that, Sir. The scarring is triggering flashbacks. She couldn’t even take a shower the last night. She was terrified to the point of hurting somebody, possibly even herself. Maria had to hypnotize her to get her to take one shower safely.”
The SO shifted uncomfortably. Indeed. I suppose if they are causing her that much pain and stress, it would be quite overboard to force her to keep them. Very well, Agent Miah, I thank you for bringing this to my attention. When you see her next, which will be soon enough I am sure, seeing as you seem so concerned for her well-being, you may tell her that she may have the scars removed. She is to keep her current gender, however, until she has proven that she has learned something. Dismissed. The SO picked up a report on his desk and began reading.
“I will do that, Sir.”
The End
Miah’s A/N: This Sue ended up annoying me more than any character I have ever read. I don’t believe I have ever met a more unlikable fictional person that was meant to be liked. Really. Biggest bitch in the history of bitchy characters. We really toned down a lot of her horribleness in this mission, and all the story we went through in this mission only amounted to a third of the fic. I counted. There were over fifty unique charges in only a third of the fic. The one scene we really wanted to get into the mission, but couldn’t was in chapter 23 with the Boggart, although, further on from that where she makes Voldemort even more OOC was pretty bad, too.
Now that I’m done complaining about the Sue, on to the fun stuff. I love writing missions with Cadmar, and I hope to continue for quite some time. Writing together takes something that can feel like slogging at times and make it something to look forward to. Also, we have plans. Yes, precious, many wonderful plans. Mwahahahaha!
Caddy’s A/N: I honestly never thought this would have been as fun as it has been. Co-writing is great. Anyway, I feel really good about this mission. Sure, it was longer then expected, clocking in at over 25K. I had some internal plot I wanted to add into the mission, and Miah was a great partner and actually helped with a few problems. Heck, my original idea was only using Cali as a small thing after I did the mission solo, and now it’s turned into this (Oh, and Cali will still be used. A lot).
Okay, now that I am done saying why I had fun, here is why I HATED this fic. Now, as I have said before, canon breaks can, at best, make me frown. I am a big fan of AUs, and I don’t take as much offense to making things in canons up as badly as my agents do, but Heather was a horrible person, who I absolutely loathe. The scene where our agents discuss her and her backstory? I added that in as I felt the need to showcase why she was so bad.
We didn’t really get to show all the badness, but she was consistently being mean to everyone, and got away with it. She showed complete apathy toward her dragons, treating them as a lot of Sues do CAFs. Heck, we didn’t even get to do all the things I wanted to, but we had time and believability constraints.
So, here is a breakdown of some of the worst things she does that we didn’t get to cover:
-In chapter 2, she tells Tonks, that if she wasn’t related to Remus, she would ‘If we weren't related, I'd do him," I winked.’ That strikes me as something that you don’t really bring up to your uncles girlfriend. Ever.
-In chapter 23, she faces a boggart, who takes on the from of her dead lover, and her unborn child. after confront her fears, she casts the spell that makes them into something funny. They turn into corpses. The corpses of her unborn child and lover.
-She talked Voldemort, an 18 year old Voldemort into holding off on the Final Battle for a week. Voldemort agrees, because his Death Eaters’ children need to finish their OWLs.
-Wiping Cindy’s memories over nothing more than her saying she wanted to officially be the second in command (and making it painful, and making the canons okay with it), taunting about all other’s who quit dying. She also apparently had them sign a contract, iron clad of course, when she was 11, that stated she could do that.
-She shows absolutely no remorse when any of her dragons died. And by the end of the story, only Aurora was alive.
-She does serious Ron Bashing. Seriously, she hated him from the first second, and she has no basis at all. Ron eventually calls her on it, calling her a Bitch, and he is reprimanded by the others for language.
-She is able to teach Harry Occlumency, but not only that, she continuously goes into his mind, using Snape’s method. When Harry uses the shield charm, like in book 5 canon, and ends up in her mind, she flips out, much like Snape.
-She, somehow, convinces Charlie that dragons are a species of whales with wings. No, I have no idea why.
-She likes to point out how Charlie is able to respect a woman, despite every other male (for what little time they did appear) not disrespecting woman.
-Just before the final battle she equips the entire order with guns. Guns she stole from a weapon shop, and replaced the originals with duplicates. She also stole enough ammo to kill every single Death Eater. That is, enough ammo so each Order member could kill every single Death Eater by themselves. Oh, and Hermione suddenly reveals she is from Da Hood in that chapter, and had to do B&Es because her parents didn’t make a lot as dentists.
Next appearance: Interlude 3: Picking Up The Pieces