The Russian Roulette With All Six Shots Mission part 2
This mission is a bit unusual. It covers six mini-missions. The fics covered range from a single overriding annoyance to Die! Die! Die! on the badness scale, but none of them are long enough to sustain a mission on their own.
Part 1
I do not own the PPC. It was created by Jay and Acacia--the original Assassins. The text below is a review in narrative form and also contains elements of parody/satire. Sanctuary was created and written by Damian Kindler, Martin Wood, and Sam Egan, and is distributed by Tricon Films and Television.
This mission is a bit unusual. It covers six mini-missions. The fics covered range from a single overriding annoyance to Die! Die! Die! on the badness scale, but none of them are long enough to sustain a mission on their own.
I credit IndeMaat’s glitch fix missions for the idea that you can do mini missions to very short fics.
Also, credit for the title goes to Caddy-Shack.
The following fics belong to their respective owners who will kindly keep them.
cold by parakeetwuvs, Ointment Much by esotericlove, 1912 by helenmagnus23, Gues What? by liliofthevaley, Staring at Who? - (whom) by esotericlove, and One Life, One chance by Mrs Marcus Volturi
Thanks to betas: Pretzel, RosieAzrael, and Caddy-Shack
The Russian Roulette With All Six Shots Mission
"Hey Magnus, what's this?" said Will from behind her.
Looking at him she replied "I don't know Will. It's some kind of mirror that - I can't understand - doesn't have any reflections. It seems glass enough."
“Son of a Sue!” Miah shouted. “Another one? When will this end?”
“Oh no,” Cali said quietly. “It beeped six times. Where is the mission print out?”
Miah shuffled her feet and didn’t make eye contact. “I kind of left it in the RC.”
“That wasn’t your best move, but the console beeped six times, and this new one makes four fics. I’m guessing we’ve got to do six, hangover or no.”
“I think we better get on through. The ship is already about to sink. You still dizzy?” Miah took his hand and pulled him to his feet.
He shook his head quickly to clear it, and his eyebrows shot up, telling Miah that he had his eyes open very wide. “A-a-a-a little. Come on minis!” He didn’t let go of Miah’s arm as he stepped toward the portal.
All eight minis and the two agents made it through the portal, which snapped shut taking the terrible scene of the Titanic sinking with it.
"So..." Will sang it a sing-song tune "do I still have to get your tea?"
"Well, you can get coffee but don't talk when working with me." she smiled.
“Well... At least he’s feeling better?” Miah said quietly as Will continued to be flappy and immature.
“He’s not my favorite by any means, but this is like taking his worst characteristics from the early episodes and magnifying them. I’m beginning to think it is a pretty common thing in fanfic.” Cali said, releasing Miah’s arm. He sat on the couch out of the way of the action, and leaned back, resting his head on the back of it. “I’m going to read ahead. These all seem like pretty simple fixes. Maybe I can figure it out, so we can get this over with.”
“That sounds...good,” Miah said distractedly. “That...” She slowly stepped closer to the mirror Will and Magnus were examining. “I think I know that mirror.”
“But you haven’t seen the show.”
“I think we’re in a crossover, Cali. That looks almost like the Quantum Mirror from Stargate SG-1."
"Oh dear Eru, you're right," said Cali. "Look, we have to get through all these, right?" Cali said, still leaning back on the couch.
"Right..." Miah said.
"So let's stop--" Cali was interrupted by an abrupt scene change which landed them unceremoniously in a stone tunnel. Miah managed to keep her feet, but Cali was dropped from couch height to the stone floor. He was quiet for a beat, and then, "OW!"
"Too late, huh?" Miah said as she offered him a hand up.
"No. We had to come here anyway. I guess," Cali said rubbing the back of his head.
"Daniel? Are you sure this is the right mirror?" Jack asked irritably
"All right. You read it. What do we need to do?" Miah said.
"Put on your glasses."
"Huh? Oh. Oh!" Miah quickly put her sunglasses back on when she realized that Cali had his neuralyzer out and ready to use.
The canon characters were all huddled around a mirror that was identical to the one the Sanctuary crew had had. "Hey, SG-1! Kree!"
The canons jerked toward the agents. Both Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c had weapons pointed at them.
FLASH!
Miah punched Cali in the shoulder. "That was not the smartest thing you've done all day. They could have shot us!"
"Naw. They have to assess the threat first, which means they are all looking and I could neuralyze them."
"There are better ways to to get their attention. Don't ever do that again."
"Fine. I will never shout Kree at SG-1 again,” Cali said in a tone that clearly meant, I am humoring my over-protective partner. “Can we get rid of them now?"
Miah shook her head. Her partner had been acting strangely since the encounter with the Sue the day before. Hopefully he would straighten back out into her happy, naive superhero soon. "Sure. Oh hey, look! This is four of these little missions down. Only two more to go."
Cali wasn't entirely sure whether that was a temptation of the Ironic Overpower or not, as Miah's voice wasn't quite hitting the right tone to be complete sarcasm. He cleared his throat to speak, and realized that he didn't know this canon well enough to re-direct the canons. He waved his hand at Miah for her to continue.
She said, "Alright listen up. There is nothing particularly interesting on this planet. Nice people, a few agricultural things. Nothing plot worthy. It is time to head back to the SGC and report that, though Daniel was very interested in the pretty ruins, there is nothing here."
A dazed Colonel O'Neill made the motion for the team to head out, which they did, still moving as if in a trance. Miah then opened the panel in the mirror and pulled all the control crystals out.
"Why are you doing that, Miah?" he asked.
"These don't bring a whole lot in trade, but they're worth a little. Besides, this leaves fewer things behind to be destroyed."
After she had shoved all the crystals into her bag, she pulled a Jaffa staff weapon out of it. This was particularly impressive to watch since the staff weapon was at least three times as long as the backpack it was being removed from.
"Stand back, partner of mine. I don't get a lot of practice in using this thing." True to her word, Miah missed three shots out of seven, but the four that hit were more than enough to reduce the mirror to unrecognizable slag.
"You do realize that you can't shoot Magnus' office up like that, right?" Cali said as he set the RA to return them to the other side of the fic.
Miah hung her head, apparently a bit ashamed of her poor aim. "Yeah. We'll just have to portal it to a volcano or the sun or something." She looked at the still smoldering remains of the mirror near the wall. "This was way more fun though."
"Come on, no time to admire your destructive capabilities. It still feels like there is a marching band playing inside my skull. Let's get this over with."
Miah pointedly walked through the portal ahead of Cali. She still had the staff weapon in her hand.
-------- Magnus looked at the slightly dented part of the mirror.
"Will help me pull this out."
When the dent opened Will looked inside and commented.
"Wow, crystals. Look at that one, it's turned the wrong side up."
"Seriously?" Miah said loudly, right next to Will, who jumped and looked at her. "How could you possibly know that one of them was upside down? Goa'uld control crystals all look pretty much the same. Asgaard crystals look different, but this thing should not have a mix, so my first complaint stands. What could possibly give you the idea that that crystal is upside down?"
"Miah?" Cali said quietly. "What do you think you're doing? You do realize this is worse than me yelling kree at SG-1, right? At least it was from their canon."
Will looked thoroughly confused at this point. Magnus was in threat assessment mode, most likely calculating which weapon to use to subdue the two strangers that had suddenly appeared in her sitting room.
"Who are you, and how did you gain access to this room?" she demanded.
Miah answered Cali. "I'm claiming excessive badfic exposure. Um, yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it."
Cali resisted the urge to start singing the song. He was still holding the neuralyzer, and he casually raised his hand and pressed the button, erasing Magnus and Will's memory.
"How about you put the staff weapon away, before you 'accidentally' set it off as well?" Cali said to Miah. Then he turned to Magnus and Will. "Listen Dr. Zimmerman. You need to calm down, use your big boy voice and act like the rational adult you are. No more 'singsong' voices while saying whiny things, and no more flapping about like you're some kind of easily agitated academic. You should go hang out with Henry now. Magnus, you never received a mirror that doesn't reflect, none of this happened. You have been working on paperwork all morning."
Miah had put away her staff weapon and collected the crystals, so Cali opened a portal to a point near the sun and shoved the mirror through. He turned to Miah. "Do you think there is even any point in attempting to dial our RC?" The eight minis they had picked up in the Titanic fic crept out to the center of the room. They had been left behind when the agents were dragged to the Stargate section of the fic. "Well maybe we could open it to the Adoption Center? Although they might not like us dropping all these monsters off without warning."
Miah chuckled. "Let me open it. They already hate me there." She set the portal for the Adoption Center and opened it. They saw a few agents feeding various mini types. John Dont, Johns, and Gym;John all ran through the portal. They tackled the nearest worker, and made off with several strips of bacon each. Seeing this, the other five raced through and took the remaining meat, amid much slobbering, licking, and tail wagging. The agent appeared to be Not Amused. Miah quickly shut the portal down before the man could see her.
“Let’s get out of here. See what minor horrors await us now,” Cali said.
Miah tried to dial their RC again, as that seemed to be the signal to switch fics. Sure enough, the view through the portal showed Henry’s lab, not their RC. Sighing, Miah stepped through.
“Did you happen to notice that the title of this fic is “Gues What?” not ‘Guess’ ‘Gues’,” Cali said bitterly.
"Seriously? Bitter just doesn't suit you Cali. You should leave that to me," Miah said as Will rushed into the room very agitated.
"Kate's seeing someone!" Will blurted out, not being able to wait for Henry's answer.
"Is it really that big of a deal for Kate to be seeing someone?" Miah asked, after taking a step away from the canon character who was practically vibrating with excitement.
Cali also stepped back as Will repeated his question to Henry, who was definitely not sharing his enthusiasm. "No, not really. She flirts with various canon characters. I could see her going for one of them if they asked seriously enough."
"Something, anything. Dude, this is Kate we're talking about. Kate. Seeing someone." Will repeated. "Can you not see the irony and how funny this is?"
Cali started to look annoyed, but then again, that was becoming more frequent lately. "No not really," he said.
"She's allowed to see people Will." Henry commented, focusing on the tablet in front of him.
"Yeah, but, like, can you imagine what that must be? I can't be the only one having trouble seeing her dating anyone."
"Why? She's nice-"
"Some of the time." Will interrupted. "The rest I'm scared she'll punch me."
Now Cali looked really annoyed. "Really? How hard is to put one guy in-character? How many time does this make today that we've seen him OOC?"
Miah counted, "Um, three?"
"You do know what rhetorical means, don't you?" Cali asked.
"Yeah. It me--" Miah began.
"That was a rhetorical question, Miah."
Miah grinned broadly. "I know!"
Cali shook his head, but he was also smiling a little.
"Street smart, she's devious. It's scary the things she knows" Will interrupted again.
Henry ignored him before continuing. "Not to mention, she's hot. - And don't try to deny that, 'cause you think so too."
"Well, Henry seems to be fairly in-character. He is pretty calm most of the time, and isn’t above ribbing Will. I wonder why he doesn’t seem to think something is wrong with Will?"
"So Henry canonically thinks Kate is hot?" Miah asked.
"Yeah. If he wasn't such a quiet guy when it comes to women he might ask her out," Cali said.
"Fine, but you did. Whatever, the point is; Kate has a boyfriend… How do you think he is?" Will brought his hand up to his mouth, deep in thought. "Do you think it's one of those though guys? Like, biker dudes with a bunch of tattoos? Then again, somehow I think that's a little cliché, even for her. Maybe it's a totally opposite type, like a business man or something." Will laughed at the thought. "Can you imagine that? Kate dating this spiffy suit wearing….Henry, are you listening to me?"
"So now he is up to speaking oddly and abusing homonyms, and he's still practically vibrating. From what you've said, he isn't normally like that, right?" Miah said, watching Cali scribbling charges down.
"Actually, he does seem rather excited doesn't he? He's normally pretty laid back and calm, unless he's fighting with someone. It's almost like he's giddy. I can’t actually think of a time I’ve seen him anything remotely approaching giddy," Cali said watching Will and Henry exchange a flurry of banter concerning whether Kate had actually used the word 'boyfriend' or not.
"I think we should check his pulse. He's acting like he drank a whole case of Red Bull or something," Miah said.
"They do keep Red Bull. Or at least Kate does. He was just talking with her. Maybe he did OD on Red Bull. Okay. Let's stop this, neuralyze them and send Will to Medical to see if they can figure out why he's so hyper."
"You are acting like you are feeling better. The hangover letting up?"
"I swiped some headache pills from the Ointment fic. I think they’ve finally kicked in."
Will was about to ask more questions, when the source of their gossip walked in. She raised an eyebrow as both men turned to stare at her.
Cali said, "The party's all here." He checked to see that Miah still had her glasses on, and then said, "Hey! Look at the birdy!" The canons all turned toward the sudden speech, and Cali flashed the neuralyzer. "Henry, Kate, you two go on with what you should be doing in canon whether that is dating or just flirting." Miah opened a portal to Medical, and Cali continued. "Will, we suspect that you have ingested an overdose of caffeine and you need to step through here to be checked out by Medical personnel. If it turns out that you didn't OD then you need to calm down."
Miah took Will by the elbow and guided him through the portal. "That's five down. One to go.” She reset the RA to their RC, which, of course, opened to the next fic instead. "It's the last one. We're nearly done, right?"
"You know this is going to be awful and take forever now, because you said that, right?"
They stepped through into the boom of an Author’s Note.
Authors Notes: For this, let us just pretend that JOhn and Helen werent together until shortly after they injected themselves with the source blood. And Nikola got devampes before Ashley died. These are a bunch of fics that I put together.
-Children of the Night by Blutengel -Crawling by Linkin Park -The sharpest lives by My Chemical Romance -Beauty and Delight by Blutengel -Right here in my arms by H.I.M -Call me when you're sober by Evanescence -All falls apart by Michael Weatherly (yes the actor off NCIS who plays DiNozzo) -Last Night by Skillet
I don't own Sanctuary nor do I own these songs.
A scene formed around the agents set by the Words.
1887-Oxford
Nikola flicked through the book, trying to ignore his thirst for her blood. The others of the five had left for home, except Nikola and Helen who had stayed back, eager to catch up on some research.
Cali looked at his and Miah’s uniforms and then at the Victorian pomp surrounding them. “I believe, my lady that we are under dressed.”
Miah snickered and said, “Yep, and I’ll be staying in these clothes, thank you very much.”
“Much better than you stripping them off right here. I agree totally.”
Miah smacked him on the arm. “You know what I meant! What is this awful racket?” she asked waving her hand at the general setting. They were being blasted with a song that seemed to be about vampires. Tesla was present so it wasn’t horribly misplaced, but Miah still didn’t like it.
“I think that one is ‘Children of the Night’ by Blutengel. It’s a darkwave band.” Miah stared at him blankly, so he ventured, “It’s related to Gothic rock?”
“Oh! Goth! Yeah, I’ve heard of that. Don’t much care for it.”
He got to his feet and was at her side in a moment. He leant down, kissing her right behind the ear. He felt her shiver, but she didn't push him away, instead captured his lips in a kiss.
He took her hand with a smile, and lead her to the bedroom.
Cali seemed to be entering a Tesla proximity induced trance, so Miah waved her hand in front of his face. “Is this canon or a charge?”
“It’s more like fan wank. It is very very popular to say that Magnus and Tesla were friends or even lovers before The Five formed, and prior to Magnus being engaged to Druitt. Maybe they were friends first, and Tesla definitely has fond memories of the first time he met her. Also, Druitt definitely did seem to be jealous of Tesla.” Cali paused and then went on, “Of course he wasn’t too happy when Magnus was dating Watson during World War II either.”
The song had switched to “Beauty and Delight” by the same group while Cali was talking. Miah had to admit, it did fit with the theme of bedding a vampire.
“Weren’t they in their lab? Why is there a bedroom in the middle of a lab at Oxford?”
"We can live forever together if you let me. Beauty lives forever, Helen. And I want to see beauty every day when I awaken." He told her, whispering into her ear.
All she could do was nod at his heartfelt words. She heard the meaning in his voice.
“Whoa! Did she just let him vamp her?” Miah asked loudly.
“...No.” Cali answered slowly. He was staring intently at Tesla with his shirt off.
The scene suddenly shifted hard. The agents were thrown into Generic Surface. “Crawling” by Linkin Park blared around them.
Seeing them together, it felt as if he was trapped inside is body. Helen was engaged to John and it felt like the wounds that would never heal.
“You okay?” Miah asked Cali as he crawled to his feet.
“Yeah. Oh man. Tesla,” he smiled absently.
“Yeah, Tesla. I think we are in his very whiny headspace right now.”
His smile disappeared. “Tesla is not whiny!”
“Uh huh.” Miah pointed at a section of the Words.
He felt so torn, hurt. He had loved her.
Nikola knew it was getting worse, and using the rest of his control, he ran. He could fake a smile, but he couldn't tell if this was real anymore. He didn't want it to be.
Cali was about to write it in as a charge when they were jerked through another unmarked scene change. They were thrown against more Generic Surface, making his stomach lurch. Those pills he had stolen from the earlier fic had worked wonders on his head and stomach, but this was enough to remind him that he was supposed to have a hangover. The song switched to “All Falls Apart” by Michael Weatherly.
Nikola was breaking as he watched her with John. It all fell apart.
“Three points for referencing the song title!” Miah said and laughed.
Cali wasn’t laughing. “She is pulling him way OOC. It’s-It’s painful.”
This time the scene change was marked, but it yanked them several thousand miles and nearly one hundred fifty years in time.
He had done this before. He would turn up at the Sanctuary drunk, and Big guy would have to carry him to the couch, where he passed out.
“No, no, no, no, no, and NO!” Cali said. “Sure, Tesla liked to drink fine wine in great quantities while he was a vamp, and I’m sure he had great taste as a mostly human. Hey, he might have even woke up with a hangover from hell at some point while human, but there is no way that he was a pathetic repeat drunk.”
"Why do you do this to yourself, Nikola?"
"Because I can't have you. I need to take that pain away. Pleases take the pain away, Helen." He admitted.
“It fits the song,” Miah said.
“But it totally violates the canon! Nikola Tesla is not like this. At all!”
The scene break lurched over them, but not as violently this time. Cali even managed to remain standing.
“Call Me When You’re Sober” by Evanescence began playing as Magnus shoved a disheveled and miserable looking Tesla through the Sanctuary’s gate. She told him to not come back until he was sober.
“So far so good on the following the song,” Miah commented as the Magnus shut the door.
“Yeah but what it’s doing to can--” Cali began, but he was interrupted by what Will was saying.
"Tesla was a bastard. It isn't every day that he turns up drunk and tries to sleep with you…forcefully." Helen winced at the last word, absently rubbing her arm where Nikola had grabbed, trying to force himself onto her.
“What! Wh-wh-wh-why?” Cali staggered back and fell on his butt.
Miah waited a moment for him to recover, but he seemed frozen. He had all the physical signs of being in a panic state--increased breathing rate, pale skin, sweaty. Probably an increased heart rate, but he wasn’t moving. Miah waved her hand in front of his face, and got no reaction.
“Great job fic! You broke my partner!” Miah checked the words and realized that it was going to take three months for any change in the fic. She waited a couple of minutes until Magnus and Will drifted away and the agents were alone.
She gave Cali’s a shoulders a shake. “Hey partner! Wake up!” He still didn’t move. “All right, you asked for it.” She slapped him.
He didn’t move. “Huh. I thought that was supposed to work.” She waited a few minutes. She got bored. After a few more minutes, an epiphany struck her.
She rubbed her head, “How the heck did that...?” She looked at the epiphany in her hand and shrugged. “Well, anyway, on with the idea it knocked into my head.”
*O*O*O*
Cali’s head throbbed in time with his pulse. His body felt like he’d tried to run a marathon, and there was an annoying irregular thumping somewhere near his head. He groaned and opened his eyes. Miah was sitting near his feet, bouncing a rubber ball off the wall near his head. He started to sit up and the ball skimmed through his hair on its way to the wall. It hit the wall and bounced wildly.
“What was that for?” he said running his fingers through his hair.
“Huh? Oh I was just bored waiting for you to w-- Hey! you’re awake! And talking!” She jumped up and glomped him with a crushing hug.
He awkwardly patted her on the back as he said, “...Ow.”
She pulled back, and actually looked contrite. “Sorry, I forgot how those things make a person feel.” She suddenly looked a bit shifty. “...Are you...okay, now?”
“Why wouldn’t I be? Wait, how did I get stunned?”
“You don’t remember? What is the last thing you remember?”
Cali ran his fingers through his hair one last time, and used the wall as a brace to get to his feet. “We were on the last fic, and Tesla was a horribly OOC drunk.”
“We-ell. I guess that about covers it then. Let’s go finish this mission and get home.”
“Miah. What happened? Why did you have to stun me?”
“You kind of freaked out. Went all blank, and wouldn’t respond, because...” she mumbled the rest.
“What happened? Just tell me, or I’ll think of something worse.”
“Tesla tried to rape Magnus while drunk, and she told him to not come back until he was sober,” Miah said ridiculously quickly and then looked at Cali as if he was going to blank out on her again.
He could see why she would think he might. That was so far OOC that the CAD probably would have exploded, but the he was so tired and achy now that he didn’t think he had the energy to work up another freak out.
“Let’s just finish this thing, so we can get out of here,” Cali said quietly.
“Been waiting for you to say that, partner!” Miah pushed a button on the RA and they jumped ahead to the next song and section of the fic. “Right Here In Your Arms” by H.I.M. was playing.
Helen smiled at Nikola, as he held the ring out to her.
"Yes." SHe whispered, tears springing to her eyes. They stood on the roof, the city glowing below them.
“Total wish fulfillment there, but it is a popular subject,” Cali said. Miah thought she might be hearing a hint of jealously in his voice.
The two canons were hugging tightly, and then suddenly the agents were launched through an unmarked scene shift. “Last Night” by Skillet was booming over the scene. Cali landed in a corner, and only went so far as to sit right side up, leaning in the corner.
Nikola opened the door of their room to Helen with tears spilling down her cheeks. Ashley had just died, and trying to deal with his grief, Nikola told Helen that he would meet her in their room.
"I just came to say goodbye." She sniffled, collapsing into his arms, and that is when he saw it. The cuts on her arms where she had tried and failed to end her life.
“I’ll leave the canon outrage to you, but that just doesn’t make sense. He told her he was going to meet her in their rooms to deal with his grief, but then in the next sentence, she was coming to say goodbye?”
“Maybe he was in the room, and she knocked...on her own bedroom door...and he opened it?” Cali shook his head. He really was too tired to get worked up anymore. Even in the face of suicidal Helen Magnus. He noticed Miah was fiddling with the RA with a look of hurried concentration on her face.
"Then join me. Die with me." She pleaded. He looked in her eyes, and could tell that she was serious. He would do anything for her, even if that meant die for her.
Cali hung his head. Of course. His day wouldn’t have been complete without dealing with a suicidal Tesla--twice. “You got this Miah?” he called to this partner, who had walked over to the window where Magnus and Tesla were standing on the ledge, hugging tightly.
“Yep,” she called over her shoulder. A horizontal portal appeared over the bed. A moment later the canons slid from the ledge...and were immediately deposited onto the bed.
They sat up looking confused, but still holding each other tightly. Magnus was crying and shaking. Tesla looked ready to kill, which was less impressive since he wasn’t a vampire at the moment. Miah shot them with her zat.
Cali pulled himself to standing, and pointed the CAD at them. It beeped loudly, which apparently set off the until now unnoticed mini-Steno they had picked up. It tackled Cali and nosed at the still beeping CAD.
Cali fumbled for the mute button, found it, muted the BEEEEEEEEEEPing and then tried to shove the mini away. It was larger than the average mini, and had shaggy hair over most of its body.
“Big Guys,” Miah said, reading the Words. “He popped in just before the scene shift.” She waved the last of her bacon at the mini, and it rushed to her.
Cali got back to his feet, and pointed the muted CAD at Tesla. [Nikola Tesla. Somewhat human. Canon Character. OOC 93.42% WARNING Character Rupture! Character Rupture!]. Cali moved the CAD a bit. [Helen Magnus. Somewhat human. Canon Character. OOC 81.29% WARNING Character Rupture!].
“I think we’d better exorcise them, and then take them to FicPsych.”
Several minutes and one only mildly whiny Author Wraith later, they were each dragging a still unconscious canon character toward the portal. Miah stopped just shy of the portal and took a deep breath. “Here goes nothing,” she said and stepped through.
Cali was pretty sure agents all over the building hear Miah’s shouting. He tightened his grip around Tesla’s chest and backed through the portal. He had never been gladder to hear the dull clanking of Generic Surface under his boots. The mini followed them through quietly. For a relatively big creature it was pretty stealthy, and no one seemed to notice it.
They had ample assistance with the canons, as it seemed that the entire staff had been summoned by Miah’s whooping and hollering.
He looked over at his partner who was cornered by some FicPsych personnel.
“--Really. I’m as sane as I was yesterday!” The FicPsych people seemed to be believing her and backing off. She apparently noticed this, because she added, “Of course, that mission was really traumatic. We could really use more B--”
She didn’t get to finish saying Bleeprin, because they had all walked away by that point. She grinned at Cali, and threw her arm over his shoulder. “Shall we?” she said waving her arm toward the exit with a flourish.
Next appearance: MST I: Sanctuary Rap
Part 1
I do not own the PPC. It was created by Jay and Acacia--the original Assassins. The text below is a review in narrative form and also contains elements of parody/satire. Sanctuary was created and written by Damian Kindler, Martin Wood, and Sam Egan, and is distributed by Tricon Films and Television.
This mission is a bit unusual. It covers six mini-missions. The fics covered range from a single overriding annoyance to Die! Die! Die! on the badness scale, but none of them are long enough to sustain a mission on their own.
I credit IndeMaat’s glitch fix missions for the idea that you can do mini missions to very short fics.
Also, credit for the title goes to Caddy-Shack.
The following fics belong to their respective owners who will kindly keep them.
cold by parakeetwuvs, Ointment Much by esotericlove, 1912 by helenmagnus23, Gues What? by liliofthevaley, Staring at Who? - (whom) by esotericlove, and One Life, One chance by Mrs Marcus Volturi
Thanks to betas: Pretzel, RosieAzrael, and Caddy-Shack
The Russian Roulette With All Six Shots Mission
"Hey Magnus, what's this?" said Will from behind her.
Looking at him she replied "I don't know Will. It's some kind of mirror that - I can't understand - doesn't have any reflections. It seems glass enough."
“Son of a Sue!” Miah shouted. “Another one? When will this end?”
“Oh no,” Cali said quietly. “It beeped six times. Where is the mission print out?”
Miah shuffled her feet and didn’t make eye contact. “I kind of left it in the RC.”
“That wasn’t your best move, but the console beeped six times, and this new one makes four fics. I’m guessing we’ve got to do six, hangover or no.”
“I think we better get on through. The ship is already about to sink. You still dizzy?” Miah took his hand and pulled him to his feet.
He shook his head quickly to clear it, and his eyebrows shot up, telling Miah that he had his eyes open very wide. “A-a-a-a little. Come on minis!” He didn’t let go of Miah’s arm as he stepped toward the portal.
All eight minis and the two agents made it through the portal, which snapped shut taking the terrible scene of the Titanic sinking with it.
"So..." Will sang it a sing-song tune "do I still have to get your tea?"
"Well, you can get coffee but don't talk when working with me." she smiled.
“Well... At least he’s feeling better?” Miah said quietly as Will continued to be flappy and immature.
“He’s not my favorite by any means, but this is like taking his worst characteristics from the early episodes and magnifying them. I’m beginning to think it is a pretty common thing in fanfic.” Cali said, releasing Miah’s arm. He sat on the couch out of the way of the action, and leaned back, resting his head on the back of it. “I’m going to read ahead. These all seem like pretty simple fixes. Maybe I can figure it out, so we can get this over with.”
“That sounds...good,” Miah said distractedly. “That...” She slowly stepped closer to the mirror Will and Magnus were examining. “I think I know that mirror.”
“But you haven’t seen the show.”
“I think we’re in a crossover, Cali. That looks almost like the Quantum Mirror from Stargate SG-1."
"Oh dear Eru, you're right," said Cali. "Look, we have to get through all these, right?" Cali said, still leaning back on the couch.
"Right..." Miah said.
"So let's stop--" Cali was interrupted by an abrupt scene change which landed them unceremoniously in a stone tunnel. Miah managed to keep her feet, but Cali was dropped from couch height to the stone floor. He was quiet for a beat, and then, "OW!"
"Too late, huh?" Miah said as she offered him a hand up.
"No. We had to come here anyway. I guess," Cali said rubbing the back of his head.
"Daniel? Are you sure this is the right mirror?" Jack asked irritably
"All right. You read it. What do we need to do?" Miah said.
"Put on your glasses."
"Huh? Oh. Oh!" Miah quickly put her sunglasses back on when she realized that Cali had his neuralyzer out and ready to use.
The canon characters were all huddled around a mirror that was identical to the one the Sanctuary crew had had. "Hey, SG-1! Kree!"
The canons jerked toward the agents. Both Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c had weapons pointed at them.
FLASH!
Miah punched Cali in the shoulder. "That was not the smartest thing you've done all day. They could have shot us!"
"Naw. They have to assess the threat first, which means they are all looking and I could neuralyze them."
"There are better ways to to get their attention. Don't ever do that again."
"Fine. I will never shout Kree at SG-1 again,” Cali said in a tone that clearly meant, I am humoring my over-protective partner. “Can we get rid of them now?"
Miah shook her head. Her partner had been acting strangely since the encounter with the Sue the day before. Hopefully he would straighten back out into her happy, naive superhero soon. "Sure. Oh hey, look! This is four of these little missions down. Only two more to go."
Cali wasn't entirely sure whether that was a temptation of the Ironic Overpower or not, as Miah's voice wasn't quite hitting the right tone to be complete sarcasm. He cleared his throat to speak, and realized that he didn't know this canon well enough to re-direct the canons. He waved his hand at Miah for her to continue.
She said, "Alright listen up. There is nothing particularly interesting on this planet. Nice people, a few agricultural things. Nothing plot worthy. It is time to head back to the SGC and report that, though Daniel was very interested in the pretty ruins, there is nothing here."
A dazed Colonel O'Neill made the motion for the team to head out, which they did, still moving as if in a trance. Miah then opened the panel in the mirror and pulled all the control crystals out.
"Why are you doing that, Miah?" he asked.
"These don't bring a whole lot in trade, but they're worth a little. Besides, this leaves fewer things behind to be destroyed."
After she had shoved all the crystals into her bag, she pulled a Jaffa staff weapon out of it. This was particularly impressive to watch since the staff weapon was at least three times as long as the backpack it was being removed from.
"Stand back, partner of mine. I don't get a lot of practice in using this thing." True to her word, Miah missed three shots out of seven, but the four that hit were more than enough to reduce the mirror to unrecognizable slag.
"You do realize that you can't shoot Magnus' office up like that, right?" Cali said as he set the RA to return them to the other side of the fic.
Miah hung her head, apparently a bit ashamed of her poor aim. "Yeah. We'll just have to portal it to a volcano or the sun or something." She looked at the still smoldering remains of the mirror near the wall. "This was way more fun though."
"Come on, no time to admire your destructive capabilities. It still feels like there is a marching band playing inside my skull. Let's get this over with."
Miah pointedly walked through the portal ahead of Cali. She still had the staff weapon in her hand.
-------- Magnus looked at the slightly dented part of the mirror.
"Will help me pull this out."
When the dent opened Will looked inside and commented.
"Wow, crystals. Look at that one, it's turned the wrong side up."
"Seriously?" Miah said loudly, right next to Will, who jumped and looked at her. "How could you possibly know that one of them was upside down? Goa'uld control crystals all look pretty much the same. Asgaard crystals look different, but this thing should not have a mix, so my first complaint stands. What could possibly give you the idea that that crystal is upside down?"
"Miah?" Cali said quietly. "What do you think you're doing? You do realize this is worse than me yelling kree at SG-1, right? At least it was from their canon."
Will looked thoroughly confused at this point. Magnus was in threat assessment mode, most likely calculating which weapon to use to subdue the two strangers that had suddenly appeared in her sitting room.
"Who are you, and how did you gain access to this room?" she demanded.
Miah answered Cali. "I'm claiming excessive badfic exposure. Um, yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it."
Cali resisted the urge to start singing the song. He was still holding the neuralyzer, and he casually raised his hand and pressed the button, erasing Magnus and Will's memory.
"How about you put the staff weapon away, before you 'accidentally' set it off as well?" Cali said to Miah. Then he turned to Magnus and Will. "Listen Dr. Zimmerman. You need to calm down, use your big boy voice and act like the rational adult you are. No more 'singsong' voices while saying whiny things, and no more flapping about like you're some kind of easily agitated academic. You should go hang out with Henry now. Magnus, you never received a mirror that doesn't reflect, none of this happened. You have been working on paperwork all morning."
Miah had put away her staff weapon and collected the crystals, so Cali opened a portal to a point near the sun and shoved the mirror through. He turned to Miah. "Do you think there is even any point in attempting to dial our RC?" The eight minis they had picked up in the Titanic fic crept out to the center of the room. They had been left behind when the agents were dragged to the Stargate section of the fic. "Well maybe we could open it to the Adoption Center? Although they might not like us dropping all these monsters off without warning."
Miah chuckled. "Let me open it. They already hate me there." She set the portal for the Adoption Center and opened it. They saw a few agents feeding various mini types. John Dont, Johns, and Gym;John all ran through the portal. They tackled the nearest worker, and made off with several strips of bacon each. Seeing this, the other five raced through and took the remaining meat, amid much slobbering, licking, and tail wagging. The agent appeared to be Not Amused. Miah quickly shut the portal down before the man could see her.
“Let’s get out of here. See what minor horrors await us now,” Cali said.
Miah tried to dial their RC again, as that seemed to be the signal to switch fics. Sure enough, the view through the portal showed Henry’s lab, not their RC. Sighing, Miah stepped through.
“Did you happen to notice that the title of this fic is “Gues What?” not ‘Guess’ ‘Gues’,” Cali said bitterly.
"Seriously? Bitter just doesn't suit you Cali. You should leave that to me," Miah said as Will rushed into the room very agitated.
"Kate's seeing someone!" Will blurted out, not being able to wait for Henry's answer.
"Is it really that big of a deal for Kate to be seeing someone?" Miah asked, after taking a step away from the canon character who was practically vibrating with excitement.
Cali also stepped back as Will repeated his question to Henry, who was definitely not sharing his enthusiasm. "No, not really. She flirts with various canon characters. I could see her going for one of them if they asked seriously enough."
"Something, anything. Dude, this is Kate we're talking about. Kate. Seeing someone." Will repeated. "Can you not see the irony and how funny this is?"
Cali started to look annoyed, but then again, that was becoming more frequent lately. "No not really," he said.
"She's allowed to see people Will." Henry commented, focusing on the tablet in front of him.
"Yeah, but, like, can you imagine what that must be? I can't be the only one having trouble seeing her dating anyone."
"Why? She's nice-"
"Some of the time." Will interrupted. "The rest I'm scared she'll punch me."
Now Cali looked really annoyed. "Really? How hard is to put one guy in-character? How many time does this make today that we've seen him OOC?"
Miah counted, "Um, three?"
"You do know what rhetorical means, don't you?" Cali asked.
"Yeah. It me--" Miah began.
"That was a rhetorical question, Miah."
Miah grinned broadly. "I know!"
Cali shook his head, but he was also smiling a little.
"Street smart, she's devious. It's scary the things she knows" Will interrupted again.
Henry ignored him before continuing. "Not to mention, she's hot. - And don't try to deny that, 'cause you think so too."
"Well, Henry seems to be fairly in-character. He is pretty calm most of the time, and isn’t above ribbing Will. I wonder why he doesn’t seem to think something is wrong with Will?"
"So Henry canonically thinks Kate is hot?" Miah asked.
"Yeah. If he wasn't such a quiet guy when it comes to women he might ask her out," Cali said.
"Fine, but you did. Whatever, the point is; Kate has a boyfriend… How do you think he is?" Will brought his hand up to his mouth, deep in thought. "Do you think it's one of those though guys? Like, biker dudes with a bunch of tattoos? Then again, somehow I think that's a little cliché, even for her. Maybe it's a totally opposite type, like a business man or something." Will laughed at the thought. "Can you imagine that? Kate dating this spiffy suit wearing….Henry, are you listening to me?"
"So now he is up to speaking oddly and abusing homonyms, and he's still practically vibrating. From what you've said, he isn't normally like that, right?" Miah said, watching Cali scribbling charges down.
"Actually, he does seem rather excited doesn't he? He's normally pretty laid back and calm, unless he's fighting with someone. It's almost like he's giddy. I can’t actually think of a time I’ve seen him anything remotely approaching giddy," Cali said watching Will and Henry exchange a flurry of banter concerning whether Kate had actually used the word 'boyfriend' or not.
"I think we should check his pulse. He's acting like he drank a whole case of Red Bull or something," Miah said.
"They do keep Red Bull. Or at least Kate does. He was just talking with her. Maybe he did OD on Red Bull. Okay. Let's stop this, neuralyze them and send Will to Medical to see if they can figure out why he's so hyper."
"You are acting like you are feeling better. The hangover letting up?"
"I swiped some headache pills from the Ointment fic. I think they’ve finally kicked in."
Will was about to ask more questions, when the source of their gossip walked in. She raised an eyebrow as both men turned to stare at her.
Cali said, "The party's all here." He checked to see that Miah still had her glasses on, and then said, "Hey! Look at the birdy!" The canons all turned toward the sudden speech, and Cali flashed the neuralyzer. "Henry, Kate, you two go on with what you should be doing in canon whether that is dating or just flirting." Miah opened a portal to Medical, and Cali continued. "Will, we suspect that you have ingested an overdose of caffeine and you need to step through here to be checked out by Medical personnel. If it turns out that you didn't OD then you need to calm down."
Miah took Will by the elbow and guided him through the portal. "That's five down. One to go.” She reset the RA to their RC, which, of course, opened to the next fic instead. "It's the last one. We're nearly done, right?"
"You know this is going to be awful and take forever now, because you said that, right?"
They stepped through into the boom of an Author’s Note.
Authors Notes: For this, let us just pretend that JOhn and Helen werent together until shortly after they injected themselves with the source blood. And Nikola got devampes before Ashley died. These are a bunch of fics that I put together.
-Children of the Night by Blutengel -Crawling by Linkin Park -The sharpest lives by My Chemical Romance -Beauty and Delight by Blutengel -Right here in my arms by H.I.M -Call me when you're sober by Evanescence -All falls apart by Michael Weatherly (yes the actor off NCIS who plays DiNozzo) -Last Night by Skillet
I don't own Sanctuary nor do I own these songs.
A scene formed around the agents set by the Words.
1887-Oxford
Nikola flicked through the book, trying to ignore his thirst for her blood. The others of the five had left for home, except Nikola and Helen who had stayed back, eager to catch up on some research.
Cali looked at his and Miah’s uniforms and then at the Victorian pomp surrounding them. “I believe, my lady that we are under dressed.”
Miah snickered and said, “Yep, and I’ll be staying in these clothes, thank you very much.”
“Much better than you stripping them off right here. I agree totally.”
Miah smacked him on the arm. “You know what I meant! What is this awful racket?” she asked waving her hand at the general setting. They were being blasted with a song that seemed to be about vampires. Tesla was present so it wasn’t horribly misplaced, but Miah still didn’t like it.
“I think that one is ‘Children of the Night’ by Blutengel. It’s a darkwave band.” Miah stared at him blankly, so he ventured, “It’s related to Gothic rock?”
“Oh! Goth! Yeah, I’ve heard of that. Don’t much care for it.”
He got to his feet and was at her side in a moment. He leant down, kissing her right behind the ear. He felt her shiver, but she didn't push him away, instead captured his lips in a kiss.
He took her hand with a smile, and lead her to the bedroom.
Cali seemed to be entering a Tesla proximity induced trance, so Miah waved her hand in front of his face. “Is this canon or a charge?”
“It’s more like fan wank. It is very very popular to say that Magnus and Tesla were friends or even lovers before The Five formed, and prior to Magnus being engaged to Druitt. Maybe they were friends first, and Tesla definitely has fond memories of the first time he met her. Also, Druitt definitely did seem to be jealous of Tesla.” Cali paused and then went on, “Of course he wasn’t too happy when Magnus was dating Watson during World War II either.”
The song had switched to “Beauty and Delight” by the same group while Cali was talking. Miah had to admit, it did fit with the theme of bedding a vampire.
“Weren’t they in their lab? Why is there a bedroom in the middle of a lab at Oxford?”
"We can live forever together if you let me. Beauty lives forever, Helen. And I want to see beauty every day when I awaken." He told her, whispering into her ear.
All she could do was nod at his heartfelt words. She heard the meaning in his voice.
“Whoa! Did she just let him vamp her?” Miah asked loudly.
“...No.” Cali answered slowly. He was staring intently at Tesla with his shirt off.
The scene suddenly shifted hard. The agents were thrown into Generic Surface. “Crawling” by Linkin Park blared around them.
Seeing them together, it felt as if he was trapped inside is body. Helen was engaged to John and it felt like the wounds that would never heal.
“You okay?” Miah asked Cali as he crawled to his feet.
“Yeah. Oh man. Tesla,” he smiled absently.
“Yeah, Tesla. I think we are in his very whiny headspace right now.”
His smile disappeared. “Tesla is not whiny!”
“Uh huh.” Miah pointed at a section of the Words.
He felt so torn, hurt. He had loved her.
Nikola knew it was getting worse, and using the rest of his control, he ran. He could fake a smile, but he couldn't tell if this was real anymore. He didn't want it to be.
Cali was about to write it in as a charge when they were jerked through another unmarked scene change. They were thrown against more Generic Surface, making his stomach lurch. Those pills he had stolen from the earlier fic had worked wonders on his head and stomach, but this was enough to remind him that he was supposed to have a hangover. The song switched to “All Falls Apart” by Michael Weatherly.
Nikola was breaking as he watched her with John. It all fell apart.
“Three points for referencing the song title!” Miah said and laughed.
Cali wasn’t laughing. “She is pulling him way OOC. It’s-It’s painful.”
This time the scene change was marked, but it yanked them several thousand miles and nearly one hundred fifty years in time.
He had done this before. He would turn up at the Sanctuary drunk, and Big guy would have to carry him to the couch, where he passed out.
“No, no, no, no, no, and NO!” Cali said. “Sure, Tesla liked to drink fine wine in great quantities while he was a vamp, and I’m sure he had great taste as a mostly human. Hey, he might have even woke up with a hangover from hell at some point while human, but there is no way that he was a pathetic repeat drunk.”
"Why do you do this to yourself, Nikola?"
"Because I can't have you. I need to take that pain away. Pleases take the pain away, Helen." He admitted.
“It fits the song,” Miah said.
“But it totally violates the canon! Nikola Tesla is not like this. At all!”
The scene break lurched over them, but not as violently this time. Cali even managed to remain standing.
“Call Me When You’re Sober” by Evanescence began playing as Magnus shoved a disheveled and miserable looking Tesla through the Sanctuary’s gate. She told him to not come back until he was sober.
“So far so good on the following the song,” Miah commented as the Magnus shut the door.
“Yeah but what it’s doing to can--” Cali began, but he was interrupted by what Will was saying.
"Tesla was a bastard. It isn't every day that he turns up drunk and tries to sleep with you…forcefully." Helen winced at the last word, absently rubbing her arm where Nikola had grabbed, trying to force himself onto her.
“What! Wh-wh-wh-why?” Cali staggered back and fell on his butt.
Miah waited a moment for him to recover, but he seemed frozen. He had all the physical signs of being in a panic state--increased breathing rate, pale skin, sweaty. Probably an increased heart rate, but he wasn’t moving. Miah waved her hand in front of his face, and got no reaction.
“Great job fic! You broke my partner!” Miah checked the words and realized that it was going to take three months for any change in the fic. She waited a couple of minutes until Magnus and Will drifted away and the agents were alone.
She gave Cali’s a shoulders a shake. “Hey partner! Wake up!” He still didn’t move. “All right, you asked for it.” She slapped him.
He didn’t move. “Huh. I thought that was supposed to work.” She waited a few minutes. She got bored. After a few more minutes, an epiphany struck her.
She rubbed her head, “How the heck did that...?” She looked at the epiphany in her hand and shrugged. “Well, anyway, on with the idea it knocked into my head.”
*O*O*O*
Cali’s head throbbed in time with his pulse. His body felt like he’d tried to run a marathon, and there was an annoying irregular thumping somewhere near his head. He groaned and opened his eyes. Miah was sitting near his feet, bouncing a rubber ball off the wall near his head. He started to sit up and the ball skimmed through his hair on its way to the wall. It hit the wall and bounced wildly.
“What was that for?” he said running his fingers through his hair.
“Huh? Oh I was just bored waiting for you to w-- Hey! you’re awake! And talking!” She jumped up and glomped him with a crushing hug.
He awkwardly patted her on the back as he said, “...Ow.”
She pulled back, and actually looked contrite. “Sorry, I forgot how those things make a person feel.” She suddenly looked a bit shifty. “...Are you...okay, now?”
“Why wouldn’t I be? Wait, how did I get stunned?”
“You don’t remember? What is the last thing you remember?”
Cali ran his fingers through his hair one last time, and used the wall as a brace to get to his feet. “We were on the last fic, and Tesla was a horribly OOC drunk.”
“We-ell. I guess that about covers it then. Let’s go finish this mission and get home.”
“Miah. What happened? Why did you have to stun me?”
“You kind of freaked out. Went all blank, and wouldn’t respond, because...” she mumbled the rest.
“What happened? Just tell me, or I’ll think of something worse.”
“Tesla tried to rape Magnus while drunk, and she told him to not come back until he was sober,” Miah said ridiculously quickly and then looked at Cali as if he was going to blank out on her again.
He could see why she would think he might. That was so far OOC that the CAD probably would have exploded, but the he was so tired and achy now that he didn’t think he had the energy to work up another freak out.
“Let’s just finish this thing, so we can get out of here,” Cali said quietly.
“Been waiting for you to say that, partner!” Miah pushed a button on the RA and they jumped ahead to the next song and section of the fic. “Right Here In Your Arms” by H.I.M. was playing.
Helen smiled at Nikola, as he held the ring out to her.
"Yes." SHe whispered, tears springing to her eyes. They stood on the roof, the city glowing below them.
“Total wish fulfillment there, but it is a popular subject,” Cali said. Miah thought she might be hearing a hint of jealously in his voice.
The two canons were hugging tightly, and then suddenly the agents were launched through an unmarked scene shift. “Last Night” by Skillet was booming over the scene. Cali landed in a corner, and only went so far as to sit right side up, leaning in the corner.
Nikola opened the door of their room to Helen with tears spilling down her cheeks. Ashley had just died, and trying to deal with his grief, Nikola told Helen that he would meet her in their room.
"I just came to say goodbye." She sniffled, collapsing into his arms, and that is when he saw it. The cuts on her arms where she had tried and failed to end her life.
“I’ll leave the canon outrage to you, but that just doesn’t make sense. He told her he was going to meet her in their rooms to deal with his grief, but then in the next sentence, she was coming to say goodbye?”
“Maybe he was in the room, and she knocked...on her own bedroom door...and he opened it?” Cali shook his head. He really was too tired to get worked up anymore. Even in the face of suicidal Helen Magnus. He noticed Miah was fiddling with the RA with a look of hurried concentration on her face.
"Then join me. Die with me." She pleaded. He looked in her eyes, and could tell that she was serious. He would do anything for her, even if that meant die for her.
Cali hung his head. Of course. His day wouldn’t have been complete without dealing with a suicidal Tesla--twice. “You got this Miah?” he called to this partner, who had walked over to the window where Magnus and Tesla were standing on the ledge, hugging tightly.
“Yep,” she called over her shoulder. A horizontal portal appeared over the bed. A moment later the canons slid from the ledge...and were immediately deposited onto the bed.
They sat up looking confused, but still holding each other tightly. Magnus was crying and shaking. Tesla looked ready to kill, which was less impressive since he wasn’t a vampire at the moment. Miah shot them with her zat.
Cali pulled himself to standing, and pointed the CAD at them. It beeped loudly, which apparently set off the until now unnoticed mini-Steno they had picked up. It tackled Cali and nosed at the still beeping CAD.
Cali fumbled for the mute button, found it, muted the BEEEEEEEEEEPing and then tried to shove the mini away. It was larger than the average mini, and had shaggy hair over most of its body.
“Big Guys,” Miah said, reading the Words. “He popped in just before the scene shift.” She waved the last of her bacon at the mini, and it rushed to her.
Cali got back to his feet, and pointed the muted CAD at Tesla. [Nikola Tesla. Somewhat human. Canon Character. OOC 93.42% WARNING Character Rupture! Character Rupture!]. Cali moved the CAD a bit. [Helen Magnus. Somewhat human. Canon Character. OOC 81.29% WARNING Character Rupture!].
“I think we’d better exorcise them, and then take them to FicPsych.”
Several minutes and one only mildly whiny Author Wraith later, they were each dragging a still unconscious canon character toward the portal. Miah stopped just shy of the portal and took a deep breath. “Here goes nothing,” she said and stepped through.
Cali was pretty sure agents all over the building hear Miah’s shouting. He tightened his grip around Tesla’s chest and backed through the portal. He had never been gladder to hear the dull clanking of Generic Surface under his boots. The mini followed them through quietly. For a relatively big creature it was pretty stealthy, and no one seemed to notice it.
They had ample assistance with the canons, as it seemed that the entire staff had been summoned by Miah’s whooping and hollering.
He looked over at his partner who was cornered by some FicPsych personnel.
“--Really. I’m as sane as I was yesterday!” The FicPsych people seemed to be believing her and backing off. She apparently noticed this, because she added, “Of course, that mission was really traumatic. We could really use more B--”
She didn’t get to finish saying Bleeprin, because they had all walked away by that point. She grinned at Cali, and threw her arm over his shoulder. “Shall we?” she said waving her arm toward the exit with a flourish.
Next appearance: MST I: Sanctuary Rap