state of the mental state, part 2
so we went to kauai, but decided to hold off on expensive things like taking a helicopter ride over the napali coast. we did a few nice dinners, but otherwise we laid low. and we were miserable, though we couldn't help but make the best of being in such a beautiful place.
...until monday morning when all hell broke loose.
we'd had the first three days to ourselves, but panic erupted back at the office, and i ended up needing to work. immediately. on my vacation. to the most remote place on earth.
for the rest of the week, we got up, i did an hour of email, we went out and explored, had dinner, came back around 8, and i did another 3-4 hours of work. the whole time i was absolutely sick over it, and worried that when i got back i'd be promptly fired. make that fired TOO! because d didn't have a job any more! we had to remind ourselves of that every day. not exactly what you want to think about in paradise. his last day would be the end of the year, and no severance to boot. none.
between my working and us both fretting over his employment situation and mine, we cobbled together a decent kauai experience that looks much nicer in photos than it actually felt at the time. at least i only had to take half the time off, but what about the whole tone of the trip, which was spoiled? the relaxing and recharging? what about the money we spent to get there? not happy about that at all.
and even better? the project went on. and by the time i got back? it wasn't done. and by christmas? it wasn't done. ...not by the time we came back from break, and not even now, two months after our vacation! our vacation was essentially ruined, and that project is still not done. i don't think it will be until beyond the end of the month.
i worked and worked on it through december -- nights and weekends, too -- right up until break. and then... i was exhausted, and positively could not work over the holiday. i just physically couldn't do it. and so, i had 12 days of uninterrupted bliss, most of which i spent lounging, running errands, and doing things at home. and i loved it! no one else was working, either, in spite of the apparent emergency. and thank goodness i didn't try to, because i would've made all the wrong choices about how to proceed.
once i got back... since early january it has been non-stop, and i can finally sort of see the light at the end of that big project's gaping chasm of a tunnel. but... wait! can't relax until it's DONE. and here i am on the other side of that mess, almost.
for the time being, at the very least, d has some consulting work for one of the partners of the company that laid him off. so, while we're in career uncertainty mode, at least some money is coming in. he doesn't have to file for unemployment just yet. what is it they say, "when your neighbor gets laid off it's a recession, but when you do it's a depression"? yeah.
d tells me that things are going to be ok. i wish i could really believe him.
...until monday morning when all hell broke loose.
we'd had the first three days to ourselves, but panic erupted back at the office, and i ended up needing to work. immediately. on my vacation. to the most remote place on earth.
for the rest of the week, we got up, i did an hour of email, we went out and explored, had dinner, came back around 8, and i did another 3-4 hours of work. the whole time i was absolutely sick over it, and worried that when i got back i'd be promptly fired. make that fired TOO! because d didn't have a job any more! we had to remind ourselves of that every day. not exactly what you want to think about in paradise. his last day would be the end of the year, and no severance to boot. none.
between my working and us both fretting over his employment situation and mine, we cobbled together a decent kauai experience that looks much nicer in photos than it actually felt at the time. at least i only had to take half the time off, but what about the whole tone of the trip, which was spoiled? the relaxing and recharging? what about the money we spent to get there? not happy about that at all.
and even better? the project went on. and by the time i got back? it wasn't done. and by christmas? it wasn't done. ...not by the time we came back from break, and not even now, two months after our vacation! our vacation was essentially ruined, and that project is still not done. i don't think it will be until beyond the end of the month.
i worked and worked on it through december -- nights and weekends, too -- right up until break. and then... i was exhausted, and positively could not work over the holiday. i just physically couldn't do it. and so, i had 12 days of uninterrupted bliss, most of which i spent lounging, running errands, and doing things at home. and i loved it! no one else was working, either, in spite of the apparent emergency. and thank goodness i didn't try to, because i would've made all the wrong choices about how to proceed.
once i got back... since early january it has been non-stop, and i can finally sort of see the light at the end of that big project's gaping chasm of a tunnel. but... wait! can't relax until it's DONE. and here i am on the other side of that mess, almost.
for the time being, at the very least, d has some consulting work for one of the partners of the company that laid him off. so, while we're in career uncertainty mode, at least some money is coming in. he doesn't have to file for unemployment just yet. what is it they say, "when your neighbor gets laid off it's a recession, but when you do it's a depression"? yeah.
d tells me that things are going to be ok. i wish i could really believe him.