Listless
I've become so used to offering bite-sized pieces of my mind, that it's been a struggle to actually hash out something or anything, for that matter. I either blame my anemia, my sleep deprived state of mind, or perhaps the general lack of inspiration within my midst.
Nevertheless, I attempted to evoke something or anything by revisiting lists I had drawn up not too long ago. Here goes.
The Things We Think But Do Not Say
If I only had the courage to say the following:
1. You suck the fun out of everything.
2. Don’t worry. You have my forgiveness, even if, technically, you didn’t ask for it.
3. I feel bad that I don’t worry about you. You don’t seem to need me anyway. You do fine on your own - right?
4. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
5. I hate how bitchy I get when you’re there. I’m sorry.
6. We’ve cleared the air, but I still feel a chilly breeze.
7. Don’t you find it too dark in that closet? We promise it’s probably less scary outside where there’s light.
8. I’m glad I’ve learned my lesson, because years ago, I would’ve fallen into yet another hopeless trap.
9. You deserve the same love you give.
10. Because of you, it feels more like home.
11. I get really jealous sometimes and I can’t help it.
12. I find myself laughing out loud when I remember you.
13. I know you don’t want it to be a big deal but I’m so proud of you. The times - they are a-changin’.
14. I stopped smoking for you!
15. Despite everything, I realize you’re still a great man. I do love you.
**
June 21, 2009: Five Things
1. 25 years old (!)
2. Sleep deprived
3. Fortunate to have people in her life
4. A now-only-social smoker
5. Often thinking in “What If’s” (but never really trying to answer them)
Nevertheless, I attempted to evoke something or anything by revisiting lists I had drawn up not too long ago. Here goes.
The Things We Think But Do Not Say
If I only had the courage to say the following:
1. You suck the fun out of everything.
2. Don’t worry. You have my forgiveness, even if, technically, you didn’t ask for it.
3. I feel bad that I don’t worry about you. You don’t seem to need me anyway. You do fine on your own - right?
4. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
5. I hate how bitchy I get when you’re there. I’m sorry.
6. We’ve cleared the air, but I still feel a chilly breeze.
7. Don’t you find it too dark in that closet? We promise it’s probably less scary outside where there’s light.
8. I’m glad I’ve learned my lesson, because years ago, I would’ve fallen into yet another hopeless trap.
9. You deserve the same love you give.
10. Because of you, it feels more like home.
11. I get really jealous sometimes and I can’t help it.
12. I find myself laughing out loud when I remember you.
13. I know you don’t want it to be a big deal but I’m so proud of you. The times - they are a-changin’.
14. I stopped smoking for you!
15. Despite everything, I realize you’re still a great man. I do love you.
**
June 21, 2009: Five Things
1. 25 years old (!)
2. Sleep deprived
3. Fortunate to have people in her life
4. A now-only-social smoker
5. Often thinking in “What If’s” (but never really trying to answer them)