That's How You Reshape Destiny (Jack/Ianto)
Title: That's How You Reshape Destiny
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen, Tosh, Owen, the Doctor
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Ianto's dying, or so Jack thinks. Fortunately, things are not that simple.
Author's Notes: There’s a lot to say about this fic - so much, in fact, that I’m not quite sure how to present it to you. The looms, for one: they’re an actual canon thing from Doctor Who, and I tried to research them as much as I could. Other than that, I’m not quite sure how the characterization turned out, so feel free to let me know what you think!
Also posted on FF.net and AO3.
This wasn’t how Jack had planned it.
Come to think of it, he hadn’t planned it at all. It had been a vague fear he came back to all too often, but he’d never actually imagined it happening. So now, as he watched Ianto throw himself in front of Gwen and then gasp as the bullet pierced through his chest, Jack just stood still. He didn’t move when Tosh and Owen emptied their guns into the alien; he didn’t make a sound when Gwen fell to her knees by Ianto's body and tried to help him to sit up or when Owen followed her and started aimlessly checking all over Ianto's body for a way out of a situation that could have only one ending.
And then Ianto looked up and met his eyes and suddenly Jack’s body set itself into motion and he made his way to his lover’s side, one hand absently carding through his hair and the other in Ianto's palm.
“Ianto,” he uttered and then choked on his own voice, too stunned to speak. “Is there something I can do to help?”
The question had been directed at Owen, but it was Ianto who answered. “Take me somewhere open,” he whispered, words brittle and broken by sharp intakes of breath. “Please, Jack,” he added softly when no one made any move to help him up.
“Will the roof do?” Jack asked - they had chased the alien all the way into an office building - and Ianto gave a frantic nod. “Owen, help me.”
Owen looked ready to protest, but thought better of it. Jack knew that they both realised that there was no going back now and really, the Captain thought cynically, fulfilling a dying man’s wish was far better than carrying out one last argument just for the sake of it.
They all climbed into the lift, Ianto letting Jack take most of his weight, and Jack took a quick look at their teammates. He could see a tear running down Tosh’s cheek, but she hadn’t said a thing so far, Owen was pale as a sheet and Gwen was outright crying as the medic tried to comfort her. Jack, on his part, kept one arm firmly wrapped around Ianto's waist and the other around his front with the sole purpose of keeping him upright for as long as possible.
“Let me go,” Ianto said once the doors opened and Jack frowned. “I don’t think you can stand on your own.”
“You’re right,” Ianto conceded. “Okay, stay here for a moment. I need to speak to the others first. This isn’t a goodbye,” he insisted when Jack tried to object. The young man’s eyes were bloodshot and gleaming with the effort to keep his strength despite the ever widening stain in his pink shirt. “I promise you that, Jack.” He gripped Jack’s forearm with all the strength desperation could bring. “Do you trust me?”
“Always,” Jack confirmed and nodded. “And I’ll trust you now. Talk to them. I’ll wait.”
“Thank you.” Ianto smiled and reached for Jack’s hand. He kissed the inside of his palm - it was somehow the most intimate gesture they’d ever shared, Jack thought absently - and then let Owen help him as he walked away.
o.O.o
Ianto was very close to screaming.
No one would blame him if he did, he knew, but the reason wouldn’t be quite what they expected it to be. Sure, the bullet wound hurt like hell, but it was the least of his problems.
“Okay, Owen, I want you to listen to me.” Deep breaths, Ianto told himself. He could hold on for a bit longer. “When it starts happening - I don’t think I need to explain what ‘it’ is, you’ll notice it - you’ve got to get the others as far away from me as possible.” He could hold on. He could. “Especially Jack. Don’t let him touch me, no matter what happens.” He had to hold on. “Do you understand?”
“Yes.” Now that was interesting. If he didn’t know better, Ianto would say that Owen was allowing himself to be affected by this. “But I still want to know what the hell is going on here.” When Ianto didn’t say anything, Owen kept going. “I’m sorry, Ianto, but there’s nothing I can do. God, your temperature is falling,” he said and Ianto gave him an alarmed look. “Ianto, what the-”
“I’ll explain later,” Ianto vowed. “I’ll fill you in on all the medical gibberish you want. But right now, I’ll just have you know that this really fucking hurts and I don’t like holding it back.” Both of his hands somehow landed on Owen’s shoulders as he tried to focus him entirely on the situation at hand. “As I was saying, something will happen very soon. I’ll explain it all, but for now, I need you to remember that I’ll fall asleep right after that. My body will still be functioning, but you can’t let anyone wake me up. Get me to the Hub or to my flat, I really don’t care, and leave me there until I wake up. Don’t let Jack get anywhere near me before I fall asleep, do you understand?”
Owen swallowed any other questions he might have had and nodded. “What about the girls?”
“Keep them away while it’s happening. It should be fine after that. Feel free to tell them I’m not actually dying, though,” Ianto said, finding it in himself to give a weak laugh. “Gwen’s crying her eyes out.”
“You threw yourself in front of a bullet for her, you berk,” Owen snapped. “Of course she’s crying!”
“Well, it doesn’t matter now,” Ianto said, sneaking a look down at his body. His hands were already giving out a slight shimmer and he knew that if he could see the rest of his body through the clothes, he’d see that it was spreading. It was time. “Stand back, now, and remember what I told you.”
Owen - thank the heavens - did as he was told without any inquiries for once and started rapidly explaining Gwen, Tosh and - as the Captain joined him - Jack as well, physically holding him back when he tried to advance towards Ianto. He was close enough to be in hearing distance and Ianto smiled at him for the last time. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I couldn’t figure out how to tell you.”
“Ianto, what-”
“See you in a minute,” Ianto managed just as the dam broke and the golden light took over everything and the world finally fell apart.
o.O.o
Ianto had the vague idea that someone was helping him into the lift and then into the SUV, and then there was the echo of an argument - Jack and Owen, he registered with some additional concentration.
“It doesn’t matter how many people there will be in the car, Jack!” Owen was saying. “It’s not a matter of space; he’s too fucking tall to fit in a lying position in the back seat!”
“I’m not saying he should!” Jack retorted. “I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t let me get in the back too, so I can keep track of what’s going on!”
“He wanted that, not me,” Owen stated and then there was some shuffling. “Now get in the passenger seat, please.”
There was a huff and the front door of the car closing - most likely with Owen behind the wheel - and then Ianto was shifted to the side as Gwen and Tosh climbed in the seat next to him.
“Gwen,” he said, summoning his last bit of energy, “How do I look?”
Gwen’s tear-stained face swam into view. “Honestly?” She asked. “You look terrible.”
“No, I meant...” his thoughts were starting to shy away from him. “What do I look like?”
“Just like usual,” she said, now with confusion lacing her voice, and Ianto smiled.
“Good,” he said to himself and then saw Jack turn around from the front seat.
“Go back to sleep,” he advised gently and Ianto's eyes slipped closer.
He had to admit, sleep sounded as the best thing possible.
o.O.o
Ianto didn’t think himself a superstitious man and yet, when the first words he heard when he woke up were ‘What the fuck?’, he had the very bad feeling that the entire day was going to proceed in a similar manner.
“It’s not that strange once you get used to it,” an unfamiliarly familiar voice pointed out. Ianto tried to reach the memory, but it slipped away. “Mind you, it’s going to be much harder for him to deal with it. Oh, look at that; I think he’s waking up.”
Ianto forced his eyes open and stared blearily at the ceiling - he was in his flat, he noticed - and then tried to sit up, only to have a pair of hands on his biceps.
“Easy, easy,” the voice soothed and Ianto's eyes focused on the wide brown eyes and spiky dark hair. That explained things, he thought briefly, remembering the few seconds of CCTV footage he’d got when the Doctor had arrived to the Torchwood Tower. “Ianto, is it? Take it easy, now. Try to get used to the changes.”
Ianto was just about to scoff at the man - well, the Time Lord, really - and tell him that he was perfectly fine, and then he felt it.
The pulse thumping in his chest had doubled and it sounded like his heart was racing madly, but he knew the truth. He’d thought he knew well what it was going to be like, but there was nothing that could have prepared him for this.
“It’s so hot,” Ianto mumbled, blinking rapidly as if to clear away the confusion. He threw the blanket away from himself in desperate need of breathing space and the Doctor’s eyes studied every movement. “Too hot,” he added, mostly to himself, and then remembered that he’d been with the team when it had all happened. His memories were hectic, thrown all over the place, and he could barely catch any of them. “Where’s Jack?”
“Right here,” another voice answered from the other edge of the bed and Ianto struggled out of the Doctor’s hold and into Jack’s arms. “Still full of surprises, aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry, Jack,” Ianto said, pulling away to look at him. “I should have told you a long time ago.”
“It’s fine,” Jack soothed. “We’ll have time for explanations later. I’m just glad you’re okay. Here, drink this,” he said, offering him a glass of water. “You’ll feel better.”
Ianto took it wordlessly and drank it in one breath, thinking hard as he did. There was some strange air about it all; Ianto could feel shivers run down his spine as the Captain wrapped his arms tighter around him. It wasn’t necessarily bad but it was definitely unknown - as if the entire world had suddenly stopped turning and wouldn’t go on no matter what happened.
He pulled away abruptly and stared at Jack, his eyebrows furrowed and confusion filling his mind. “What was that?”
“What was what?” Jack asked and Ianto's frown deepened at his expression. Jack was wide-eyed and his gaze was focused on Ianto's face as if he was expecting him to hit him.
“It was...” Ianto struggled to find the right words. “...Strange. As if time just stopped when I touched you.”
“Ah, yes, Jack does that,” the Doctor put in. “I know it might seem a bit, well, unnatural now, but...”
“No, no,” Ianto cut him off, shaking his head. “Not at all, actually. I think it’s rather interesting.”
The Doctor’s eyebrows shot up. “Interesting,” he repeated slowly and Ianto nodded.
“My head is always such a mess,” he said quietly. “So many thoughts, so many possibilities racing in there, and when I touch you...” His eyes were directed at Jack now and he finally understood the careful, wounded expression. Of course Jack would expect something like this, Ianto thought as he remembered everything he’d said about the Doctor’s words about his immortality. “It just stops. It’s fascinating.”
Jack’s expression softened and Ianto was about to shuffle forward into his arms again when there was a cough.
Oh, of course. It was Owen’s voice he’d heard when he’d woke up. He had completely forgotten that there was someone else in the room.
“Right,” the medic said, unceremoniously sitting on the edge of Ianto's bed. “Colleagues who turn out to be aliens are my favourite part of this job. Or so it would seem,” he added thoughtfully. “It’s never happened before. The Doctor here says you’re like him. Is it true?”
Ianto gave a brisk nod. He’d promised information, after all. “Yes, it is.”
“And that would be...”
“A Time Lord,” Ianto said, voice a bit quieter now. “My home planet is Gallifrey.”
“And somehow the two hearts and the fourteen degrees body temperature have remained unnoticed until now because...”
“They weren’t there.” As much as he didn’t approve of the Doctor sometimes, Ianto was grateful that he’d saved him from the humiliation of explaining the entire ordeal. “Many of the children on Gallifrey are - were - loomed, not born. There were times when we had no other choice - we were unable to reproduce normally - and even when we did, couples who couldn’t have a child often resorted to one. Children born from a loom are born almost indistinguishable from humans and only experience a sudden drop in the body temperature and grow a second heart with their first regeneration.”
Owen was staring between Ianto and the Doctor, clearly lost for words. Even Jack seemed a little pale.
“What the fuck is the matter with you people?” Owen managed at least and Ianto couldn’t hold back a laugh, short and hysterical. “Jesus Christ, that’s sick,” he added for good measure and, before Ianto could defend his heritage, went on. “And how did you end up on Earth?”
Ianto was very much aware of what was happening. Jack was letting Owen do the interrogation so he didn’t have to do it; he wanted to listen without making Ianto think that he was just another alien he had to question and then simply send home if possible. Not that it was - not with his home planet being gone - but still.
“My mother sent me away,” he started, avoiding everyone’s eyes. “When the war started and it got too dangerous, she sent me away and I ended up here. I was five. A human family adopted me and I tried to blend in as much as possible. Not with a lot of success, as you might notice, given that Torchwood One found me and offered me a job. They didn’t know what I was, but they knew that there was something off about me and they took me in. The rest, as they say, is history.”
“You were a refugee,” another voice joined in and Ianto looked up to see Gwen leaning on the doorframe. “It was like during World War Two, wasn’t it? But you were just sent thousands of light years away from home.”
“That pretty much sums it up, yeah,” Ianto said with a crooked smile and then shifted to the side when she joined the others on the bed. “Where’s Tosh?”
“She went out on a food run,” Gwen said. “We were all hungry and you don’t have all that much food here, you know.”
“Yeah,” Ianto sighed. He knew he’d kill for Chinese right now, and he knew that everyone but the Doctor had been up and running about all day. Come to think of that...
“How did he end up here?” Ianto asked Jack as he nodded in the Doctor’s direction.
“I panicked and called him,” Jack admitted. “I didn’t really know what regeneration would look like but from what I’ve heard, it was pretty damn close to what happened on that rooftop and we needed help.”
Ianto studied him carefully. Jack was too nonchalant, too unruffled to actually feel that way. There was something slightly twitchy about him and Ianto couldn’t quite identify it, but he decided that he’d figure it out later. He could reassure the team that he was fine, tell everyone everything they needed and wanted to know, and then he’d tell them that he was tired and would excuse himself. A bit of time alone would do him a world of good, he knew, but it’d be even better if he could talk to Jack by himself first.
If he had to be honest with himself, he couldn’t wait.
o.O.o
Jack had watched from a distance all day. The team and the Doctor all went back to the Hub - after all, there were still aliens to take care of - and he’d heard tens and hundreds of questions from the team and had listened silently while Ianto had told his story and all aspects from it to everyone in the team. There had been a short, bittersweet discussion with the Doctor in which Ianto demanded to know what had happened with Gallifrey in the last days of the War, but otherwise it had all been pretty light-hearted. Tosh had, as usually, focused on the scientific edge to it and had all but interrogated Ianto about the basics of time travel (at which point he’d directed her at the Doctor), Owen had done more tests and asked more questions and Gwen had - unsurprisingly - wanted to hear all about the Time Lords and what their planet had looked like.
And Jack had listened without saying a thing, only noting Ianto's worried glances in his direction, and had tried not to react at all. It wasn’t as much of a shock as it had been for the team - after all, he knew Ianto better than anyone else here and had seen enough of everything that was out there to know that there was something strange about him - and he had had the last few hours to get used to the thought. It was almost surreal, still, to hear Ianto speak about his childhood and his parents and everything else he’d hidden deep inside himself until now.
“Well, I think it’s time to call it a day,” Jack said at last, standing up from the sofa where he’d been spending the last hour or so. “We’re all tired and I think we can all agree that today was a bit much.” There were several mutters of agreement and Jack gave everyone a curt smile. “Very well. Come on, everyone,” he added and pointed at the door as the team tumbled out with their last goodbyes.
It took half an hour more for the Doctor to get going too - or, rather, to return to his TARDIS with the promise to return the next day - and then Jack and Ianto were finally alone.
Silence settled and Jack desperately tried to find something to fill it with. He was spared the effort when Ianto's hand appeared in his field of vision and he looked up. Their eyes locked and a moment passed before Jack took it, accepting the first sort of contact Ianto had offered him since he’d woken up.
“Are we going back to my place, or...” Ianto's voice wavered and Jack nodded as he stood up. “My place it is,” he finished with a nervous laugh and led them both through the cog door.
The ride home was filled with Jack asking some more questions - things that no one from the team had thought of - and Ianto answered readily, almost seeming relieved. Jack didn’t dare touch him again after he’d let go of his hand, and he couldn’t bring himself to think of the reasons even when he tried to. It had nothing to do with Ianto himself - it was just that the last time he’d felt hands this cold over his skin they had been the hands of a madman; the last time he’d felt two hearts thumping in sync so close next to his own had been months ago in a place that had never existed.
He followed Ianto up the stairs and all the way to his flat, only reaching for him again when Ianto brought him closer for a kiss. His lips were warmer than his hands had been, almost matching Jack’s body temperature, but he still couldn’t shake off the feeling that something wasn’t right.
“We don’t have to do this,” Ianto whispered against his mouth. “If you don’t want to or if you want to get accustomed to the thought, then that’s fine with me. I just thought...”
“No,” Jack interrupted. “No, it’s fine. It is, really,” he added when Ianto didn’t look too convinced. “It’s just all a bit new for me. But what’s really bothering me about it all is that, Ianto, I almost saw you die today.” His lover stared at him, clearly lost as to where the conversation had gone. “It was different for you,” he added, “you knew that you’d come back and every time I die, you know that this applies to me as well. But I watched you get shot today and there was nothing I can do, and then all of that happened and I had so little time to get used to it all. I need to make sure.” His hand slid down from Ianto's face and to his waist to bring him closer. “I need to make sure you’re still here.”
Ianto gave him a smile. “I’m perfectly fine with that,” he said and, without further hesitation, took Jack’s coat off his shoulders and directed them both to the bedroom.
Jack only realised that he was trembling when Ianto reached up to steady his hands and he gave his lover a forlorn smile as he removed the last remnants of their clothing.
“It’s all right,” Ianto breathed. “I’m right here, Jack.”
“I know,” Jack returned and leant down for another kiss. They were only slightly illuminated by the street lights peeking through Ianto's windows and the Captain couldn’t take his eyes off him - off his skin, silvery in the darkness, and his eyes like shards of blue glass. It was Ianto all over - he was brilliant and alien and eternal and Jack loved him so much that he felt like he was going to burst apart from the sheer force of it. “I know.”
Ianto opened up to him easily after that - and after a quiet reminder that, despite the fact that he’d kept his appearance, the body was new and had yet to be broken in, so to speak - and Jack finally felt the truth of his lover’s reassuring words settle in his mind as he buried himself in Ianto's body.
He was more responsible than he ever had been before - his eyes wide with something that seemed to border on too much, his fists curled in the ruby sheets and his heels digging into Jack’s back.
“My text books didn’t mention this,” Ianto whispered with a shaky laugh when Jack commented on his apparent sensitivity. “Who knew that regeneration could enhance it all so much- ah!”
“You’re so lovely,” Jack murmured, his lips dancing over Ianto's neck as he drew Ianto closer to him, deeper into his embrace, and let out small huffs of breath over his collarbone. “You have no idea, do you?”
“Please, Jack,” was all Ianto said in return and the Captain could feel the grip of his lover’s long legs around his waist tighten as he closed his eyes blissfully. “Please, I don’t know how much more of this I can stand.”
“You don’t have to,” Jack said as he stroked over Ianto's cheekbone and then down his jawline. “Give it all up, Ianto. Give it all to me.”
And when Ianto's lips opened like petals for a drawn-out moan and his eyes widened once more, focused on Jack and not a single other thing, Jack knew for sure that he had him forever.
o.O.o
At the first rays of dawn, Jack’s phone rang. He groaned and reached blindly for it, unprepared to deal with the new day yet - he’d been nowhere near through with everything he needed to get used to before he could face his team and the rest of the world.
“Oh god what,” he blurted out, only to hear Tosh’s quiet laughter on the other end of the line. She sounded altogether too happy for this time in the morning and he briefly wondered why exactly she was up at all before recalling that he’d asked her to come in early last night.
“There was a Rift alert,” she said, “it was my turn to man the Hub in the wee hours this morning, remember? The situation was contained,” she hurried to say when Jack started fussing. “I just had to let you know. It’s the protocol, after all.”
“Of course,” Jack sighed, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes as he tried to focus. “See you in a few hours, Tosh.” He dropped the phone and turned around as Ianto stirred next to him. “Sorry,” he added in his lover’s direction. “Didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“It’s okay,” Ianto said, a crooked smile curling his lips. “I couldn’t sleep anyway. One thing I’m going to need less of now is sleep, as it would seem.”
Ianto made to get out from under the covers and Jack made a small sound of protest in his throat as he pulled him back by his wrist. “Get back into bed,” he grumbled. “I’m not done with you yet.”
He still had it all to wrap his mind around - how much more time with Ianto he would have now, for once - but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t capable of appreciating the present.
“You know,” Ianto replied, obeying Jack’s insistent tugging and shuffling back in the bed, positioning himself over Jack, “I think I can live with that.”
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen, Tosh, Owen, the Doctor
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Ianto's dying, or so Jack thinks. Fortunately, things are not that simple.
Author's Notes: There’s a lot to say about this fic - so much, in fact, that I’m not quite sure how to present it to you. The looms, for one: they’re an actual canon thing from Doctor Who, and I tried to research them as much as I could. Other than that, I’m not quite sure how the characterization turned out, so feel free to let me know what you think!
Also posted on FF.net and AO3.
This wasn’t how Jack had planned it.
Come to think of it, he hadn’t planned it at all. It had been a vague fear he came back to all too often, but he’d never actually imagined it happening. So now, as he watched Ianto throw himself in front of Gwen and then gasp as the bullet pierced through his chest, Jack just stood still. He didn’t move when Tosh and Owen emptied their guns into the alien; he didn’t make a sound when Gwen fell to her knees by Ianto's body and tried to help him to sit up or when Owen followed her and started aimlessly checking all over Ianto's body for a way out of a situation that could have only one ending.
And then Ianto looked up and met his eyes and suddenly Jack’s body set itself into motion and he made his way to his lover’s side, one hand absently carding through his hair and the other in Ianto's palm.
“Ianto,” he uttered and then choked on his own voice, too stunned to speak. “Is there something I can do to help?”
The question had been directed at Owen, but it was Ianto who answered. “Take me somewhere open,” he whispered, words brittle and broken by sharp intakes of breath. “Please, Jack,” he added softly when no one made any move to help him up.
“Will the roof do?” Jack asked - they had chased the alien all the way into an office building - and Ianto gave a frantic nod. “Owen, help me.”
Owen looked ready to protest, but thought better of it. Jack knew that they both realised that there was no going back now and really, the Captain thought cynically, fulfilling a dying man’s wish was far better than carrying out one last argument just for the sake of it.
They all climbed into the lift, Ianto letting Jack take most of his weight, and Jack took a quick look at their teammates. He could see a tear running down Tosh’s cheek, but she hadn’t said a thing so far, Owen was pale as a sheet and Gwen was outright crying as the medic tried to comfort her. Jack, on his part, kept one arm firmly wrapped around Ianto's waist and the other around his front with the sole purpose of keeping him upright for as long as possible.
“Let me go,” Ianto said once the doors opened and Jack frowned. “I don’t think you can stand on your own.”
“You’re right,” Ianto conceded. “Okay, stay here for a moment. I need to speak to the others first. This isn’t a goodbye,” he insisted when Jack tried to object. The young man’s eyes were bloodshot and gleaming with the effort to keep his strength despite the ever widening stain in his pink shirt. “I promise you that, Jack.” He gripped Jack’s forearm with all the strength desperation could bring. “Do you trust me?”
“Always,” Jack confirmed and nodded. “And I’ll trust you now. Talk to them. I’ll wait.”
“Thank you.” Ianto smiled and reached for Jack’s hand. He kissed the inside of his palm - it was somehow the most intimate gesture they’d ever shared, Jack thought absently - and then let Owen help him as he walked away.
o.O.o
Ianto was very close to screaming.
No one would blame him if he did, he knew, but the reason wouldn’t be quite what they expected it to be. Sure, the bullet wound hurt like hell, but it was the least of his problems.
“Okay, Owen, I want you to listen to me.” Deep breaths, Ianto told himself. He could hold on for a bit longer. “When it starts happening - I don’t think I need to explain what ‘it’ is, you’ll notice it - you’ve got to get the others as far away from me as possible.” He could hold on. He could. “Especially Jack. Don’t let him touch me, no matter what happens.” He had to hold on. “Do you understand?”
“Yes.” Now that was interesting. If he didn’t know better, Ianto would say that Owen was allowing himself to be affected by this. “But I still want to know what the hell is going on here.” When Ianto didn’t say anything, Owen kept going. “I’m sorry, Ianto, but there’s nothing I can do. God, your temperature is falling,” he said and Ianto gave him an alarmed look. “Ianto, what the-”
“I’ll explain later,” Ianto vowed. “I’ll fill you in on all the medical gibberish you want. But right now, I’ll just have you know that this really fucking hurts and I don’t like holding it back.” Both of his hands somehow landed on Owen’s shoulders as he tried to focus him entirely on the situation at hand. “As I was saying, something will happen very soon. I’ll explain it all, but for now, I need you to remember that I’ll fall asleep right after that. My body will still be functioning, but you can’t let anyone wake me up. Get me to the Hub or to my flat, I really don’t care, and leave me there until I wake up. Don’t let Jack get anywhere near me before I fall asleep, do you understand?”
Owen swallowed any other questions he might have had and nodded. “What about the girls?”
“Keep them away while it’s happening. It should be fine after that. Feel free to tell them I’m not actually dying, though,” Ianto said, finding it in himself to give a weak laugh. “Gwen’s crying her eyes out.”
“You threw yourself in front of a bullet for her, you berk,” Owen snapped. “Of course she’s crying!”
“Well, it doesn’t matter now,” Ianto said, sneaking a look down at his body. His hands were already giving out a slight shimmer and he knew that if he could see the rest of his body through the clothes, he’d see that it was spreading. It was time. “Stand back, now, and remember what I told you.”
Owen - thank the heavens - did as he was told without any inquiries for once and started rapidly explaining Gwen, Tosh and - as the Captain joined him - Jack as well, physically holding him back when he tried to advance towards Ianto. He was close enough to be in hearing distance and Ianto smiled at him for the last time. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I couldn’t figure out how to tell you.”
“Ianto, what-”
“See you in a minute,” Ianto managed just as the dam broke and the golden light took over everything and the world finally fell apart.
o.O.o
Ianto had the vague idea that someone was helping him into the lift and then into the SUV, and then there was the echo of an argument - Jack and Owen, he registered with some additional concentration.
“It doesn’t matter how many people there will be in the car, Jack!” Owen was saying. “It’s not a matter of space; he’s too fucking tall to fit in a lying position in the back seat!”
“I’m not saying he should!” Jack retorted. “I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t let me get in the back too, so I can keep track of what’s going on!”
“He wanted that, not me,” Owen stated and then there was some shuffling. “Now get in the passenger seat, please.”
There was a huff and the front door of the car closing - most likely with Owen behind the wheel - and then Ianto was shifted to the side as Gwen and Tosh climbed in the seat next to him.
“Gwen,” he said, summoning his last bit of energy, “How do I look?”
Gwen’s tear-stained face swam into view. “Honestly?” She asked. “You look terrible.”
“No, I meant...” his thoughts were starting to shy away from him. “What do I look like?”
“Just like usual,” she said, now with confusion lacing her voice, and Ianto smiled.
“Good,” he said to himself and then saw Jack turn around from the front seat.
“Go back to sleep,” he advised gently and Ianto's eyes slipped closer.
He had to admit, sleep sounded as the best thing possible.
o.O.o
Ianto didn’t think himself a superstitious man and yet, when the first words he heard when he woke up were ‘What the fuck?’, he had the very bad feeling that the entire day was going to proceed in a similar manner.
“It’s not that strange once you get used to it,” an unfamiliarly familiar voice pointed out. Ianto tried to reach the memory, but it slipped away. “Mind you, it’s going to be much harder for him to deal with it. Oh, look at that; I think he’s waking up.”
Ianto forced his eyes open and stared blearily at the ceiling - he was in his flat, he noticed - and then tried to sit up, only to have a pair of hands on his biceps.
“Easy, easy,” the voice soothed and Ianto's eyes focused on the wide brown eyes and spiky dark hair. That explained things, he thought briefly, remembering the few seconds of CCTV footage he’d got when the Doctor had arrived to the Torchwood Tower. “Ianto, is it? Take it easy, now. Try to get used to the changes.”
Ianto was just about to scoff at the man - well, the Time Lord, really - and tell him that he was perfectly fine, and then he felt it.
The pulse thumping in his chest had doubled and it sounded like his heart was racing madly, but he knew the truth. He’d thought he knew well what it was going to be like, but there was nothing that could have prepared him for this.
“It’s so hot,” Ianto mumbled, blinking rapidly as if to clear away the confusion. He threw the blanket away from himself in desperate need of breathing space and the Doctor’s eyes studied every movement. “Too hot,” he added, mostly to himself, and then remembered that he’d been with the team when it had all happened. His memories were hectic, thrown all over the place, and he could barely catch any of them. “Where’s Jack?”
“Right here,” another voice answered from the other edge of the bed and Ianto struggled out of the Doctor’s hold and into Jack’s arms. “Still full of surprises, aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry, Jack,” Ianto said, pulling away to look at him. “I should have told you a long time ago.”
“It’s fine,” Jack soothed. “We’ll have time for explanations later. I’m just glad you’re okay. Here, drink this,” he said, offering him a glass of water. “You’ll feel better.”
Ianto took it wordlessly and drank it in one breath, thinking hard as he did. There was some strange air about it all; Ianto could feel shivers run down his spine as the Captain wrapped his arms tighter around him. It wasn’t necessarily bad but it was definitely unknown - as if the entire world had suddenly stopped turning and wouldn’t go on no matter what happened.
He pulled away abruptly and stared at Jack, his eyebrows furrowed and confusion filling his mind. “What was that?”
“What was what?” Jack asked and Ianto's frown deepened at his expression. Jack was wide-eyed and his gaze was focused on Ianto's face as if he was expecting him to hit him.
“It was...” Ianto struggled to find the right words. “...Strange. As if time just stopped when I touched you.”
“Ah, yes, Jack does that,” the Doctor put in. “I know it might seem a bit, well, unnatural now, but...”
“No, no,” Ianto cut him off, shaking his head. “Not at all, actually. I think it’s rather interesting.”
The Doctor’s eyebrows shot up. “Interesting,” he repeated slowly and Ianto nodded.
“My head is always such a mess,” he said quietly. “So many thoughts, so many possibilities racing in there, and when I touch you...” His eyes were directed at Jack now and he finally understood the careful, wounded expression. Of course Jack would expect something like this, Ianto thought as he remembered everything he’d said about the Doctor’s words about his immortality. “It just stops. It’s fascinating.”
Jack’s expression softened and Ianto was about to shuffle forward into his arms again when there was a cough.
Oh, of course. It was Owen’s voice he’d heard when he’d woke up. He had completely forgotten that there was someone else in the room.
“Right,” the medic said, unceremoniously sitting on the edge of Ianto's bed. “Colleagues who turn out to be aliens are my favourite part of this job. Or so it would seem,” he added thoughtfully. “It’s never happened before. The Doctor here says you’re like him. Is it true?”
Ianto gave a brisk nod. He’d promised information, after all. “Yes, it is.”
“And that would be...”
“A Time Lord,” Ianto said, voice a bit quieter now. “My home planet is Gallifrey.”
“And somehow the two hearts and the fourteen degrees body temperature have remained unnoticed until now because...”
“They weren’t there.” As much as he didn’t approve of the Doctor sometimes, Ianto was grateful that he’d saved him from the humiliation of explaining the entire ordeal. “Many of the children on Gallifrey are - were - loomed, not born. There were times when we had no other choice - we were unable to reproduce normally - and even when we did, couples who couldn’t have a child often resorted to one. Children born from a loom are born almost indistinguishable from humans and only experience a sudden drop in the body temperature and grow a second heart with their first regeneration.”
Owen was staring between Ianto and the Doctor, clearly lost for words. Even Jack seemed a little pale.
“What the fuck is the matter with you people?” Owen managed at least and Ianto couldn’t hold back a laugh, short and hysterical. “Jesus Christ, that’s sick,” he added for good measure and, before Ianto could defend his heritage, went on. “And how did you end up on Earth?”
Ianto was very much aware of what was happening. Jack was letting Owen do the interrogation so he didn’t have to do it; he wanted to listen without making Ianto think that he was just another alien he had to question and then simply send home if possible. Not that it was - not with his home planet being gone - but still.
“My mother sent me away,” he started, avoiding everyone’s eyes. “When the war started and it got too dangerous, she sent me away and I ended up here. I was five. A human family adopted me and I tried to blend in as much as possible. Not with a lot of success, as you might notice, given that Torchwood One found me and offered me a job. They didn’t know what I was, but they knew that there was something off about me and they took me in. The rest, as they say, is history.”
“You were a refugee,” another voice joined in and Ianto looked up to see Gwen leaning on the doorframe. “It was like during World War Two, wasn’t it? But you were just sent thousands of light years away from home.”
“That pretty much sums it up, yeah,” Ianto said with a crooked smile and then shifted to the side when she joined the others on the bed. “Where’s Tosh?”
“She went out on a food run,” Gwen said. “We were all hungry and you don’t have all that much food here, you know.”
“Yeah,” Ianto sighed. He knew he’d kill for Chinese right now, and he knew that everyone but the Doctor had been up and running about all day. Come to think of that...
“How did he end up here?” Ianto asked Jack as he nodded in the Doctor’s direction.
“I panicked and called him,” Jack admitted. “I didn’t really know what regeneration would look like but from what I’ve heard, it was pretty damn close to what happened on that rooftop and we needed help.”
Ianto studied him carefully. Jack was too nonchalant, too unruffled to actually feel that way. There was something slightly twitchy about him and Ianto couldn’t quite identify it, but he decided that he’d figure it out later. He could reassure the team that he was fine, tell everyone everything they needed and wanted to know, and then he’d tell them that he was tired and would excuse himself. A bit of time alone would do him a world of good, he knew, but it’d be even better if he could talk to Jack by himself first.
If he had to be honest with himself, he couldn’t wait.
o.O.o
Jack had watched from a distance all day. The team and the Doctor all went back to the Hub - after all, there were still aliens to take care of - and he’d heard tens and hundreds of questions from the team and had listened silently while Ianto had told his story and all aspects from it to everyone in the team. There had been a short, bittersweet discussion with the Doctor in which Ianto demanded to know what had happened with Gallifrey in the last days of the War, but otherwise it had all been pretty light-hearted. Tosh had, as usually, focused on the scientific edge to it and had all but interrogated Ianto about the basics of time travel (at which point he’d directed her at the Doctor), Owen had done more tests and asked more questions and Gwen had - unsurprisingly - wanted to hear all about the Time Lords and what their planet had looked like.
And Jack had listened without saying a thing, only noting Ianto's worried glances in his direction, and had tried not to react at all. It wasn’t as much of a shock as it had been for the team - after all, he knew Ianto better than anyone else here and had seen enough of everything that was out there to know that there was something strange about him - and he had had the last few hours to get used to the thought. It was almost surreal, still, to hear Ianto speak about his childhood and his parents and everything else he’d hidden deep inside himself until now.
“Well, I think it’s time to call it a day,” Jack said at last, standing up from the sofa where he’d been spending the last hour or so. “We’re all tired and I think we can all agree that today was a bit much.” There were several mutters of agreement and Jack gave everyone a curt smile. “Very well. Come on, everyone,” he added and pointed at the door as the team tumbled out with their last goodbyes.
It took half an hour more for the Doctor to get going too - or, rather, to return to his TARDIS with the promise to return the next day - and then Jack and Ianto were finally alone.
Silence settled and Jack desperately tried to find something to fill it with. He was spared the effort when Ianto's hand appeared in his field of vision and he looked up. Their eyes locked and a moment passed before Jack took it, accepting the first sort of contact Ianto had offered him since he’d woken up.
“Are we going back to my place, or...” Ianto's voice wavered and Jack nodded as he stood up. “My place it is,” he finished with a nervous laugh and led them both through the cog door.
The ride home was filled with Jack asking some more questions - things that no one from the team had thought of - and Ianto answered readily, almost seeming relieved. Jack didn’t dare touch him again after he’d let go of his hand, and he couldn’t bring himself to think of the reasons even when he tried to. It had nothing to do with Ianto himself - it was just that the last time he’d felt hands this cold over his skin they had been the hands of a madman; the last time he’d felt two hearts thumping in sync so close next to his own had been months ago in a place that had never existed.
He followed Ianto up the stairs and all the way to his flat, only reaching for him again when Ianto brought him closer for a kiss. His lips were warmer than his hands had been, almost matching Jack’s body temperature, but he still couldn’t shake off the feeling that something wasn’t right.
“We don’t have to do this,” Ianto whispered against his mouth. “If you don’t want to or if you want to get accustomed to the thought, then that’s fine with me. I just thought...”
“No,” Jack interrupted. “No, it’s fine. It is, really,” he added when Ianto didn’t look too convinced. “It’s just all a bit new for me. But what’s really bothering me about it all is that, Ianto, I almost saw you die today.” His lover stared at him, clearly lost as to where the conversation had gone. “It was different for you,” he added, “you knew that you’d come back and every time I die, you know that this applies to me as well. But I watched you get shot today and there was nothing I can do, and then all of that happened and I had so little time to get used to it all. I need to make sure.” His hand slid down from Ianto's face and to his waist to bring him closer. “I need to make sure you’re still here.”
Ianto gave him a smile. “I’m perfectly fine with that,” he said and, without further hesitation, took Jack’s coat off his shoulders and directed them both to the bedroom.
Jack only realised that he was trembling when Ianto reached up to steady his hands and he gave his lover a forlorn smile as he removed the last remnants of their clothing.
“It’s all right,” Ianto breathed. “I’m right here, Jack.”
“I know,” Jack returned and leant down for another kiss. They were only slightly illuminated by the street lights peeking through Ianto's windows and the Captain couldn’t take his eyes off him - off his skin, silvery in the darkness, and his eyes like shards of blue glass. It was Ianto all over - he was brilliant and alien and eternal and Jack loved him so much that he felt like he was going to burst apart from the sheer force of it. “I know.”
Ianto opened up to him easily after that - and after a quiet reminder that, despite the fact that he’d kept his appearance, the body was new and had yet to be broken in, so to speak - and Jack finally felt the truth of his lover’s reassuring words settle in his mind as he buried himself in Ianto's body.
He was more responsible than he ever had been before - his eyes wide with something that seemed to border on too much, his fists curled in the ruby sheets and his heels digging into Jack’s back.
“My text books didn’t mention this,” Ianto whispered with a shaky laugh when Jack commented on his apparent sensitivity. “Who knew that regeneration could enhance it all so much- ah!”
“You’re so lovely,” Jack murmured, his lips dancing over Ianto's neck as he drew Ianto closer to him, deeper into his embrace, and let out small huffs of breath over his collarbone. “You have no idea, do you?”
“Please, Jack,” was all Ianto said in return and the Captain could feel the grip of his lover’s long legs around his waist tighten as he closed his eyes blissfully. “Please, I don’t know how much more of this I can stand.”
“You don’t have to,” Jack said as he stroked over Ianto's cheekbone and then down his jawline. “Give it all up, Ianto. Give it all to me.”
And when Ianto's lips opened like petals for a drawn-out moan and his eyes widened once more, focused on Jack and not a single other thing, Jack knew for sure that he had him forever.
o.O.o
At the first rays of dawn, Jack’s phone rang. He groaned and reached blindly for it, unprepared to deal with the new day yet - he’d been nowhere near through with everything he needed to get used to before he could face his team and the rest of the world.
“Oh god what,” he blurted out, only to hear Tosh’s quiet laughter on the other end of the line. She sounded altogether too happy for this time in the morning and he briefly wondered why exactly she was up at all before recalling that he’d asked her to come in early last night.
“There was a Rift alert,” she said, “it was my turn to man the Hub in the wee hours this morning, remember? The situation was contained,” she hurried to say when Jack started fussing. “I just had to let you know. It’s the protocol, after all.”
“Of course,” Jack sighed, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes as he tried to focus. “See you in a few hours, Tosh.” He dropped the phone and turned around as Ianto stirred next to him. “Sorry,” he added in his lover’s direction. “Didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“It’s okay,” Ianto said, a crooked smile curling his lips. “I couldn’t sleep anyway. One thing I’m going to need less of now is sleep, as it would seem.”
Ianto made to get out from under the covers and Jack made a small sound of protest in his throat as he pulled him back by his wrist. “Get back into bed,” he grumbled. “I’m not done with you yet.”
He still had it all to wrap his mind around - how much more time with Ianto he would have now, for once - but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t capable of appreciating the present.
“You know,” Ianto replied, obeying Jack’s insistent tugging and shuffling back in the bed, positioning himself over Jack, “I think I can live with that.”