daddy
im talking to my sister right now on the phone. its really sad. for her, and for me, but i dont want to talk to her about me.
it sucks, cause i know that she is having a hard time going through dealing with him. but its like, im not even on his mind. he was my best friend growing up. the person that i talked to about everything. i was always his little girl. but now.
non of us have talked to him since before christmas, when he chose for the last time to choose drinking over his children. well, frankie has. cause i guess since he is so far away he doesnt really know the extent of what me and megan have had to deal with. so megan has gotten the brunt end of the deal i know. just cause she has been around more and able to do more with trying to get gaurdianship and all. but we have beth had to deal with the all of the hospitalizations and phone calls. and the memory loss. the seziures. the promises and the betrayal. its hard.
it was hard when we both sat there in his kitchen with him drinking after he promised us that he never would again. after the doctor had told him that as long as he is drinking its just a matter of time... crying and pouring our hearts out too him about how much he was hurting us by hurting himself. giving him our first altimatum.
then after we found out days later that he had checked himself into a hospital (for the 4th time in one year) we showed up just to see what was happening.
him telling me that he was quiting... finally. because megan wanted him too. it made me happy/hurt like hell. why wouldnt he do it for both of us? why wouldnt he do it for my child that was due any day. but i guess at least he was quitting
so now, over a month after he started drinking again. he calls up megan telling her how much he missed her and wanted to talk to her. which makes me very sad cause i know how bad she wants to be in his life. and how much it hurts her. but its been almost 6 weeks since i had the baby, and i still havent even gotten a phone call or a card.
i hurts
it sucks, cause i know that she is having a hard time going through dealing with him. but its like, im not even on his mind. he was my best friend growing up. the person that i talked to about everything. i was always his little girl. but now.
non of us have talked to him since before christmas, when he chose for the last time to choose drinking over his children. well, frankie has. cause i guess since he is so far away he doesnt really know the extent of what me and megan have had to deal with. so megan has gotten the brunt end of the deal i know. just cause she has been around more and able to do more with trying to get gaurdianship and all. but we have beth had to deal with the all of the hospitalizations and phone calls. and the memory loss. the seziures. the promises and the betrayal. its hard.
it was hard when we both sat there in his kitchen with him drinking after he promised us that he never would again. after the doctor had told him that as long as he is drinking its just a matter of time... crying and pouring our hearts out too him about how much he was hurting us by hurting himself. giving him our first altimatum.
then after we found out days later that he had checked himself into a hospital (for the 4th time in one year) we showed up just to see what was happening.
him telling me that he was quiting... finally. because megan wanted him too. it made me happy/hurt like hell. why wouldnt he do it for both of us? why wouldnt he do it for my child that was due any day. but i guess at least he was quitting
so now, over a month after he started drinking again. he calls up megan telling her how much he missed her and wanted to talk to her. which makes me very sad cause i know how bad she wants to be in his life. and how much it hurts her. but its been almost 6 weeks since i had the baby, and i still havent even gotten a phone call or a card.
i hurts