[there's nothing wrong with a little secrecy.

everything is less comfortable, which makes it exciting.  i have a hard time staying with someone if there's too much comfort between us.  i am so easily bored, but when i have a secret with that person, there's so much swimming through my head at all times that it's fun.  there's really no other word to ( Read more... )

 sometimes i miss him, but mostly i just think of how wonderful it will be when i don't.

there's no reason for me to be angry.  there were always reasons for me to hate.  
not him.  
i have nothing to fall back on.  it is strictly sadness, and i am trapped in its quicksand.  i'm still violently kicking and getting deeper and deeper.  if i could just ( Read more... )

 yeah, fuck everything.

next week my life really begins.

aubry moves in on the 25th, two days before the actual move in day for everyone, so i'm moving my things in that day, as well.  i am so excited about it.  it's all so bittersweet, the whole getting away from home thing.  i know it's something everyone deals with, but i'm sure we can all agree that it's a nerve ( Read more... )

i'm going to tell you the story of the BEST moment of my life.

we left for florida around nine o'clock friday morning.  i lied to kyle about when to be at my house, because he's awful at timing.  i told him to be here at eight, when i called at seven fourty-five he told me that his alarm hadn't gone off.  i faked an angry response and told him that ( Read more... )

this might not sound the way it does in my head.

i told him honestly, "don't worry about talking to me this week, you have a lot to do, a lot of people to spend time with, i don't need to be on the list of priorities for the week.  i understand entirely."  i meant it with everything in me, which is so strange for me, solely because i'm generally ( Read more... )

i am such an immature piece of shit sometimes.  i could have easily lost my job tonight, perhaps worse.  note to self:  don't mess with people who could pull knives out on you.  daisy, michelle, and i are lucky.  he's cool enough about it to let it go.  i still feel so bad, but so fortunate that the situation didn't end up worse than it already was ( Read more... )

last summer i was almost never home, not because i didn't want to be, but because i was always out finding various ways to entertain myself.  i'm home a lot these days.  there's nothing wrong with it, really, because i love being home, but i feel like i'm missing out on some things.  i'm working, and i have been quite a bit.  i spend 50% of my time ( Read more... )

the first sentence in my actual journal reads, "this is where the story of alex lary begins, and i hope it is a never ending one."

i am so happy.

this doesn't just happen to people. how is this happening to me? 
my heart is swelling. even if the circumstances were different, even if he was always going to be a thousand miles away from me, i ( Read more... )

jobe 304, that's my room.  you're welcome to visit it.

( Read more... )