times are a changing.....
so it's been a hell of a long time since i last have been on here. honestly i forgot about this site. i've been in bed for the past week and bored so i thought i should take this free time and look back on the last year of my life.
what have i done:
well first i have made some great new friends. though they could never take the place of the few true friends that i still have from before but they are great for me and this new place that i am in in life. i have almost made it through my second year of college which i have decided to take off cause i need time to get my shit in order before i truly become something that i don't want to be. i have lost people that have meant the world to me and realized that they are in a better place and that i should be thankful for the lessons that they have taught me. i have loved people but have yet to fully fall in love with someone. i have made mistakes, and am now trying to learn the right things from them. and i have grown just a little bit more, and i have learned to stand on my own two feet but with a little bit of help.
what i want to do this year:
i haven't made a new years resolution cause i think that is bull shit. but i have thought about where i would like my life to go. i want to be there for the people that have always been there for me. i want to stop putting myself out there for people to use me and more for the people that really need me. i want to become a better sister and a better daughter and friend. i want to stop judging this one person that i have hurt badly. i don't really judge people but for some reason i find myself judging this person in the worst way possible. i want to find myself and live the kind of life that i know i should be living. i want to care for myself and not bother with caring about other till i can do that.
that's about it. since i had an interesting and yet the first real conversation with this certain person i have come to realize that i might want to check and see who i really am. i tend to hide my true self and only be there person that i want people to see or like. i keep changing my mask with each person i come into contact with and i want to stop that. i'm tried of hiding and i just want to be able to be myself and people be ok with that. i need to learn to quit hiding. and that's my real goal for this year. and thanks to an amazing person that i have met this past year i hope i can learn to do this. no more pretend, no more games. i'm going to be me and hope that the people that have always been there for me are still there after that.
the real me.....
what have i done:
well first i have made some great new friends. though they could never take the place of the few true friends that i still have from before but they are great for me and this new place that i am in in life. i have almost made it through my second year of college which i have decided to take off cause i need time to get my shit in order before i truly become something that i don't want to be. i have lost people that have meant the world to me and realized that they are in a better place and that i should be thankful for the lessons that they have taught me. i have loved people but have yet to fully fall in love with someone. i have made mistakes, and am now trying to learn the right things from them. and i have grown just a little bit more, and i have learned to stand on my own two feet but with a little bit of help.
what i want to do this year:
i haven't made a new years resolution cause i think that is bull shit. but i have thought about where i would like my life to go. i want to be there for the people that have always been there for me. i want to stop putting myself out there for people to use me and more for the people that really need me. i want to become a better sister and a better daughter and friend. i want to stop judging this one person that i have hurt badly. i don't really judge people but for some reason i find myself judging this person in the worst way possible. i want to find myself and live the kind of life that i know i should be living. i want to care for myself and not bother with caring about other till i can do that.
that's about it. since i had an interesting and yet the first real conversation with this certain person i have come to realize that i might want to check and see who i really am. i tend to hide my true self and only be there person that i want people to see or like. i keep changing my mask with each person i come into contact with and i want to stop that. i'm tried of hiding and i just want to be able to be myself and people be ok with that. i need to learn to quit hiding. and that's my real goal for this year. and thanks to an amazing person that i have met this past year i hope i can learn to do this. no more pretend, no more games. i'm going to be me and hope that the people that have always been there for me are still there after that.
the real me.....