fatness
Damn it! Every time I see myself in random pics I get so depressed. I look so damn fat and whatever. Grrrrrrr....I hate this crap. I never truly liked my body but it's getting irritating now. I am really gonna start working out at the gym at the apartment when we move. I'm not one to always think I'm fat, regardless of my weight...I know what my healthy size is....this is not it. I had a dream last night that Danny and I were getting married. It was kinda out of the blue and nothing was planned and it was as if I was being forced. I didn't want to do it but I was going to because every body was showing up. The weird thing was that my dad came, all dressed up, sober, and normal, not sick like he is now and my mom wasn't with him. It's kinda sad that he isn't ever going to be the same. I actually enjoyed him at those times, although there weren't many. To make me feel worse...my mom is going down hill, she is getting sick again, I just hope she doesn't die....she came close last time. Also, my brother is sick, he is losing so much weight, I think he only weighs like 125 now. He has an eating disorder I'm sure, plus too much stress, plus not enough help. His hair is thinning alot and going grey. I feel bad for him. I just wish there was something that could help them. It's kind of a lost cause, but my brother just can't help it, and that sucks.