my body tells me no
do you guys know what i have a lot of? zelos feelings. zelos thoughts. zelos analyses. and i am tired and not going to post them, but he's a really. he just has so many problems, you guys. he is such a mask and i worry sometimes there isn't any part of him under that any more, but he does, he has feelings, actual feelings, about his friends and the world and justice and love and poetry and society, and mostly about his feelings (his overwhelming gratitude to and respect of lloyd is a secret shhhh don't tell anyone). he's just so aware of social constructs, it's outrageous, he's resigned himself to wasting away in these frameworks until his untimely death, he doesn't believe in anything anymore, and then lloyd and his ragtag bunch of half-elves and misfits come along and completely disregard these things that give zelos's life grudging boundaries and dubious purpose and that scares him, terrifies him, but it's so much better than anything he could have dreamed of, too, and he's caught between these two worlds, security and freedom, masks and expression, safety and danger, apathy and adrenaline, and he sometimes can't, because it's just too, too much and then we get these alternate endings about zelos and i actually lied to you about not posting my zelos feelings haha you fell for my ploy. tl;dr ZELOS WILDER, FAILED CHOSEN, SORRY.
in real life news, today was lovely! i danced in this morning's storm in my pajamas and had blueberry oatmeal with chocolate chips for breakfast and fried pierogi for lunch and hung out with writerinacloset and her mom for dinner and birthday cake and then we all won first place at trivia tonight! holy shit i am run-on sentences today, i am so sorry. >>;; in any case, it was a lovely day and i hope all of you can say the same. :)
tomorrow will probably be moving props and costumes with my dad, and then d&d, because i know how to spend a friday night, lbr.
brief obligatory tweendom break, because i'm me, and every time i think i'm done and over btr, like, i've made my peace, they were a part of my life and i love them, but nbd any more, they do things like this song and this song and this picture (dustin ifstg i can't :'D) and my poor heart is theirs again. nate was in my room a couple days ago and saw my posters of them and he was actually not horrible about it, though he did make a snide comment about the nick logo and i told him to shut the fuck up or something equally witty and then accidentally told him about how all of them are very adult and kendall is a troll-hipster-pothead and logan's going to secretly take over the world. he then asked why kendall has a fake moustache plastered onto him, and i could not dignify him with a response that wasn't "HE DID IT FOR THE DOLPHINS." he also suspects james is the coolest, because he's jumping the highest. UM. yeah. no one let me explain btr, it ends incorrectly.
i've been really bad about doing this meme on time, but fuck the police! ten days is non-specific, right? they don't have to be in a row.
ten-day tumblr lj challenge
day five: six things you wish you'd never done
this will be pleasant
i. not say "no, i can't."
ii. suck at apologizing.
iii. worm my way out of the blame. (to be fair, society favors me, but it doesn't mean i should've just been. an asshole.)
iv. stop reading as much.
v. stopped playing violin.
vi. lied about it the first time.
day six: five people who mean a lot (in no particular order)
i. family counts as one, right? or else i'll be down four slots. mom and dad, sister and j.
ii. sa.
iii. ellie.
iv. nate.
v. teachers. teachers are one person, right? teachers are also so, so important. they are. they just. are.
also, i've stream-lined my m:tg deck and now i feel like i can do anything and i am the coolest god help i have a very silly sense of acheivement. :'D
also, i've been hanging out at sarah's work and we watched charmed tuesday and wednesday and yyh today and i would like to take a moment to say that i love those fucking shows and the nineties were great and ur faves could never, kthx.
3 a.m. da fuq. good night! ♥
in real life news, today was lovely! i danced in this morning's storm in my pajamas and had blueberry oatmeal with chocolate chips for breakfast and fried pierogi for lunch and hung out with writerinacloset and her mom for dinner and birthday cake and then we all won first place at trivia tonight! holy shit i am run-on sentences today, i am so sorry. >>;; in any case, it was a lovely day and i hope all of you can say the same. :)
tomorrow will probably be moving props and costumes with my dad, and then d&d, because i know how to spend a friday night, lbr.
brief obligatory tweendom break, because i'm me, and every time i think i'm done and over btr, like, i've made my peace, they were a part of my life and i love them, but nbd any more, they do things like this song and this song and this picture (dustin ifstg i can't :'D) and my poor heart is theirs again. nate was in my room a couple days ago and saw my posters of them and he was actually not horrible about it, though he did make a snide comment about the nick logo and i told him to shut the fuck up or something equally witty and then accidentally told him about how all of them are very adult and kendall is a troll-hipster-pothead and logan's going to secretly take over the world. he then asked why kendall has a fake moustache plastered onto him, and i could not dignify him with a response that wasn't "HE DID IT FOR THE DOLPHINS." he also suspects james is the coolest, because he's jumping the highest. UM. yeah. no one let me explain btr, it ends incorrectly.
i've been really bad about doing this meme on time, but fuck the police! ten days is non-specific, right? they don't have to be in a row.
ten-day tumblr lj challenge
day five: six things you wish you'd never done
this will be pleasant
i. not say "no, i can't."
ii. suck at apologizing.
iii. worm my way out of the blame. (to be fair, society favors me, but it doesn't mean i should've just been. an asshole.)
iv. stop reading as much.
v. stopped playing violin.
vi. lied about it the first time.
day six: five people who mean a lot (in no particular order)
i. family counts as one, right? or else i'll be down four slots. mom and dad, sister and j.
ii. sa.
iii. ellie.
iv. nate.
v. teachers. teachers are one person, right? teachers are also so, so important. they are. they just. are.
also, i've stream-lined my m:tg deck and now i feel like i can do anything and i am the coolest god help i have a very silly sense of acheivement. :'D
also, i've been hanging out at sarah's work and we watched charmed tuesday and wednesday and yyh today and i would like to take a moment to say that i love those fucking shows and the nineties were great and ur faves could never, kthx.
3 a.m. da fuq. good night! ♥