[Naruto] Untitled AU Snippet
Okay, I don't usually post this stuff, but I just rediscovered this and it made me grin.
This is a writing sample for a Naruto AU rp set on a modern-day university campus. (There was a bit more to it than that, but that's the key point.) Can you imagine Orochimaru teaching college-level chemistry? 'Cause I could! AND IT WAS LOLLERLICIOUS. Obviously, as an AU and a contextless writing sample, the IC-ness is questionable and it's generic: I didn't write in reactions from any specific students.
A three pound red and black plastic bag hit the countertop with a surprisingly loud thump, and Orochimaru smiled as he settled back into his chair, pale fingers steepled in front of him as he surveyed the students’ reactions. (Three of them had visibly startled at the noise, five more had dropped their eyes, and the girl in the back row had started gnawing nervously on her pen again. Weak, he thought contemptuously, his smile unwavering.) Bold white block letters proclaimed the newly-produced package to contain SEVIN and then went on to add, LAWN & INSECT GRANULES - KILLS OVER 30 INSECTS!
“Does anyone know what this is?”
Silence. More of them started shifting uncomfortably in their seats, and a few took to flipping through their notes as though they’d find the answer written somewhere in there. Orochimaru just waited, and when it became apparently to the students that he was immune to the awkward, silted hush and could stare them all down patiently, one brave soul finally cleared his throat and said, “Uh… It’s a, um, bug k- a pesticide?”
Deduce that all on your own, did you. Amazing… Your powers of observation are superb.
Sarcasm added nothing to the discourse; there was a reason he taught chemistry and not rhetoric.
“That’s right. Sevin is a brand name of a common household pesticide; you can pick it off of the shelf of Wal-Mart if you so choose. The actual chemical called carbaryl, or one-naphthyl methylcarbamate if it’s been methylated. And it looks like so.” He stood up, chalk in his right hand and the classroom at his left, and drew the skeletal formula on the board in short, neat strokes without even glancing at it.
Orochimaru continued, “This particular pesticide works by inhibiting the degradation of acetylcholine by the enzyme acetylcholinesterase. When the acetylcholine is not metabolized, it rapidly accumulates in the neuromuscular junction of the motor neurons and causes rapid death by muscular paralysis and spasms, usually by constricting the lungs or stopping the heart. And that would make this particular type of poison a…?”
He swept his eyes over the lecture hall again, picking out every blank face, puzzled expression, bored fidget, and thought that they’d probably be much more involved in this particular lesson if they understood how eminently applicable this information could be.
Cobra venom, for example, was toxic in a very chemically similar manner.
After nearly two full minutes of dead silence, he shook his head and sighed loudly as though disappointed. He wasn’t, of course-- he expected nothing more than this average, unnoteworthy display of stubborn stupidity and bewildered anxiety. Most people were like this, unintelligent and boring, little wind-up toys with no imagination or real courage, confined by social norms and expectations.
Most- occasionally someone still managed to surprise him…but not this time.
“A neurotoxin,” he finished. He let the word hang for a moment then flicked his hand out and knocked the bag of Sevin over, spilling white powder across the counter. “An acetylcholinesterase-inhibitor is a neurotoxin. It interferes with your nervous system’s chemical messengers, the part that manages how and when your muscle fibers twich…and when and how to stop twitching.”
That got their attention. Good. Orochimaru casually dropped his fingers into the powder and began tracing designs in it as he continued, savoring the horrified look that swept over his audience.
“Carbaryl is also classified as a possible carcinogen. The double-bonded carbon…” he paused to tap the skeleton on the board for emphasis, leaving visible smudges of Sevin on the dark green surface, “…form two complete, fused benzene rings-that is, naphthalene, or the active agent in mothballs. Exposure to both benzene and naphthalene have been linked to serious health effects, including lung tumors in animal studies and hemolytic anemia in humans, notably human children.” Orochimaru paused to wet his lips, and when he looked from the chalkboard to the class he caught a number of students watching him stiffly. They seemed perturbed for some reason.
“Then, this branch is an ester functional group of carbamic acid--” His phone gave a short burst of vibration. Orochimaru paused briefly to palm the device and check the message. No one bothered him for trivial matters; this had to be somewhat interesting.
15:23, let the cat in. The red house down the block is having another party.
Oh, Akatsuki was meeting again? This would be the second time already this month, and it was only the tenth. Something must be going on- a break in the ranks, perhaps? Or better, a death? Orochimaru maliciously hoped for the worst.
Or even sweeter yet: perhaps they were still struggling to get some of their little pet projects running again without him. His particular knowledge and talents had been of especial assistance to Akatsuki multiple times and he knew that his unexpected abandonment of their inner circle had grounded them for a while; maybe that was still a problem for them even now.
He slipped the phone back into his jacket pocket and then absently rubbed his left wrist, a subconscious memory of long-ago pain slipping unnoticed through the back of his mind. Let Konoha and Suna deal with Akatsuki for now. They certainly had reason to be wary of the rogue organization, and any losses would be of help to Sound regardless of which side sustained them- less players on the field meant weaker competition, plain and simple.
Let the cat in…?
Hm. Another stray found its way home, huh? Excellent. He wondered who- or what- this one was, and what the circumstances were. No matter; it could only be good news.
Orochimaru leaned against the lab counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Change of plans. Something came up that I need to attend to.” A wave of relief rippled through the students, building from tentative disbelief into open smiles and appreciative nods, and suddenly the still hall was filled with whispers and the rustle of notebooks, the zip of backpacks and bags. He had to raise his voice to be heard over the crowd already making their way to the door. “Don’t forget the lab work that’s due next Monday; I expect to see all of the papers in my inbox by no later than four pm. No exceptions. Next week’s exam will be on allelopathic interaction effect; mutagenicity, carcinogenicity and teratogenicity; and biopolymers. It will not be easy.”
He grabbed his own briefcase from the side of the lab desk and checked his watch. He had more than three hours before he needed to start preparing for the work that needed to be done that evening- plenty of time to grab a cup of coffee or two and then see what pretty little kitty had been yowling at his door all morning in the cold.
The great thing about wind-up toys was that it was just so damned easy to turn the key and then just set them down facing the right direction to march away in their brainless straight lines. No other input was needed.
Orochimaru grinned. Everything was working out so perfectly.
Class dismissed.
This is a writing sample for a Naruto AU rp set on a modern-day university campus. (There was a bit more to it than that, but that's the key point.) Can you imagine Orochimaru teaching college-level chemistry? 'Cause I could! AND IT WAS LOLLERLICIOUS. Obviously, as an AU and a contextless writing sample, the IC-ness is questionable and it's generic: I didn't write in reactions from any specific students.
A three pound red and black plastic bag hit the countertop with a surprisingly loud thump, and Orochimaru smiled as he settled back into his chair, pale fingers steepled in front of him as he surveyed the students’ reactions. (Three of them had visibly startled at the noise, five more had dropped their eyes, and the girl in the back row had started gnawing nervously on her pen again. Weak, he thought contemptuously, his smile unwavering.) Bold white block letters proclaimed the newly-produced package to contain SEVIN and then went on to add, LAWN & INSECT GRANULES - KILLS OVER 30 INSECTS!
“Does anyone know what this is?”
Silence. More of them started shifting uncomfortably in their seats, and a few took to flipping through their notes as though they’d find the answer written somewhere in there. Orochimaru just waited, and when it became apparently to the students that he was immune to the awkward, silted hush and could stare them all down patiently, one brave soul finally cleared his throat and said, “Uh… It’s a, um, bug k- a pesticide?”
Deduce that all on your own, did you. Amazing… Your powers of observation are superb.
Sarcasm added nothing to the discourse; there was a reason he taught chemistry and not rhetoric.
“That’s right. Sevin is a brand name of a common household pesticide; you can pick it off of the shelf of Wal-Mart if you so choose. The actual chemical called carbaryl, or one-naphthyl methylcarbamate if it’s been methylated. And it looks like so.” He stood up, chalk in his right hand and the classroom at his left, and drew the skeletal formula on the board in short, neat strokes without even glancing at it.
Orochimaru continued, “This particular pesticide works by inhibiting the degradation of acetylcholine by the enzyme acetylcholinesterase. When the acetylcholine is not metabolized, it rapidly accumulates in the neuromuscular junction of the motor neurons and causes rapid death by muscular paralysis and spasms, usually by constricting the lungs or stopping the heart. And that would make this particular type of poison a…?”
He swept his eyes over the lecture hall again, picking out every blank face, puzzled expression, bored fidget, and thought that they’d probably be much more involved in this particular lesson if they understood how eminently applicable this information could be.
Cobra venom, for example, was toxic in a very chemically similar manner.
After nearly two full minutes of dead silence, he shook his head and sighed loudly as though disappointed. He wasn’t, of course-- he expected nothing more than this average, unnoteworthy display of stubborn stupidity and bewildered anxiety. Most people were like this, unintelligent and boring, little wind-up toys with no imagination or real courage, confined by social norms and expectations.
Most- occasionally someone still managed to surprise him…but not this time.
“A neurotoxin,” he finished. He let the word hang for a moment then flicked his hand out and knocked the bag of Sevin over, spilling white powder across the counter. “An acetylcholinesterase-inhibitor is a neurotoxin. It interferes with your nervous system’s chemical messengers, the part that manages how and when your muscle fibers twich…and when and how to stop twitching.”
That got their attention. Good. Orochimaru casually dropped his fingers into the powder and began tracing designs in it as he continued, savoring the horrified look that swept over his audience.
“Carbaryl is also classified as a possible carcinogen. The double-bonded carbon…” he paused to tap the skeleton on the board for emphasis, leaving visible smudges of Sevin on the dark green surface, “…form two complete, fused benzene rings-that is, naphthalene, or the active agent in mothballs. Exposure to both benzene and naphthalene have been linked to serious health effects, including lung tumors in animal studies and hemolytic anemia in humans, notably human children.” Orochimaru paused to wet his lips, and when he looked from the chalkboard to the class he caught a number of students watching him stiffly. They seemed perturbed for some reason.
“Then, this branch is an ester functional group of carbamic acid--” His phone gave a short burst of vibration. Orochimaru paused briefly to palm the device and check the message. No one bothered him for trivial matters; this had to be somewhat interesting.
15:23, let the cat in. The red house down the block is having another party.
Oh, Akatsuki was meeting again? This would be the second time already this month, and it was only the tenth. Something must be going on- a break in the ranks, perhaps? Or better, a death? Orochimaru maliciously hoped for the worst.
Or even sweeter yet: perhaps they were still struggling to get some of their little pet projects running again without him. His particular knowledge and talents had been of especial assistance to Akatsuki multiple times and he knew that his unexpected abandonment of their inner circle had grounded them for a while; maybe that was still a problem for them even now.
He slipped the phone back into his jacket pocket and then absently rubbed his left wrist, a subconscious memory of long-ago pain slipping unnoticed through the back of his mind. Let Konoha and Suna deal with Akatsuki for now. They certainly had reason to be wary of the rogue organization, and any losses would be of help to Sound regardless of which side sustained them- less players on the field meant weaker competition, plain and simple.
Let the cat in…?
Hm. Another stray found its way home, huh? Excellent. He wondered who- or what- this one was, and what the circumstances were. No matter; it could only be good news.
Orochimaru leaned against the lab counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Change of plans. Something came up that I need to attend to.” A wave of relief rippled through the students, building from tentative disbelief into open smiles and appreciative nods, and suddenly the still hall was filled with whispers and the rustle of notebooks, the zip of backpacks and bags. He had to raise his voice to be heard over the crowd already making their way to the door. “Don’t forget the lab work that’s due next Monday; I expect to see all of the papers in my inbox by no later than four pm. No exceptions. Next week’s exam will be on allelopathic interaction effect; mutagenicity, carcinogenicity and teratogenicity; and biopolymers. It will not be easy.”
He grabbed his own briefcase from the side of the lab desk and checked his watch. He had more than three hours before he needed to start preparing for the work that needed to be done that evening- plenty of time to grab a cup of coffee or two and then see what pretty little kitty had been yowling at his door all morning in the cold.
The great thing about wind-up toys was that it was just so damned easy to turn the key and then just set them down facing the right direction to march away in their brainless straight lines. No other input was needed.
Orochimaru grinned. Everything was working out so perfectly.
Class dismissed.