Comments | metamorfic_moon: Serpents

mrstater in metamorfic_moon

Serpents - Prologue

Jun 15, 2007 20:27

Title: Serpents (Prologue/?)
Author: MrsTater
Rating & Warnings: R for sexuality
Prompts: weakness; "In the light of Voldemort's return, we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided."
Word Count: 5241
Summary: Two years into a relationship with Remus, and the correct way to deal with full moons continues to elude Tonks, ( Read more... )

romance, mrstater, last chance full moon showdown, angst, drama

Comments 30

cae_prince June 16 2007, 03:14:36 UTC

Oh wow! This was so intense and sad ( ... )

mrstater June 16 2007, 13:17:56 UTC

I'm sorry there wasn't something a little happier for your birthday, but I'm so pleased you liked it just the same, and I really appreciate your thoughtful comments, as always ( ... )

bway_love June 16 2007, 05:25:20 UTC

Boyz II Wizardz is the best band name ever. And Save a Broom; Ride a Quidditch Player is the best pyjama slogan ever. Also, this is one of the best R/T fic universes ever. It's so well written, from being perfectly in character (even Des feels like a character from the books) and completely emotionally engaging to the little extra touches and clever dialogue, and not only is the originality of this timing wonderful, it's a period I always wanted a Remus/Tonks fic to be set in.
And I definitely pick the last Remus :].

mrstater June 16 2007, 13:06:25 UTC

Hee! Believe it or not, I had forgotten all about Boyz II Men till I was needing an R&B group to "wizardize" for this fic. Glad you thought that was amusing. Alas I cannot take credit for the pajama slogan, as I've seen that on various icons, but I'm glad that produced a chuckle, too. ;)

Thank you so much for your lovely words. This is an unconventional era in which to write R/T stories, so I'm doing my best to keep it plausible even if it's not the likliest of scenarios. I'm just thrilled you think it all fits in the HP world, and that Des matches as a character, too. That's the trick to OCs, making them blend in, and I don't have much experience with them, so I really appreciate your thoughtful feedback!

Again, I'm so pleased you like the start of this, and I hope you continue to like how the story unfolds. Thank you for reading and commenting!

scarlett71177 June 16 2007, 07:03:15 UTC

Wow!

I love the time/setting of this piece, that it borrows canon details (Tonks nearly failing Stealth and Tracking).

I agree with cae_prince that you did an excellent job of portraying all characters feelings in this though it's Tonks' pov we read. The description of Remus' character after the 'effing furious' bit exhibits his persona so wonderful. Well done.

Can't wait for the next part. Keep up the great work.

mrstater June 16 2007, 13:03:15 UTC

Aw, thanks very much for your lovely feedback! For me the trick with writing in this era is to make it plausible, if not realistic, that Remus and Tonks might have met and had a relationship during POA, so I try to make as many canon nods as possible to at least root it in the world and that time period as much as I can. So I'm very pleased Tonks' little throwaway line to Harry about nearly failing Stealth and Tracking didn't get lost here.

I really appreciate your words about the characterizations and emotions coming through apart from the POV character. In this I was really hoping that Remus' hurt came through even though Tonks was wrapped up in herself, so it's good to know you could feel his pain through little physical descriptions and his dialogue.

I'll try to get the next part up ASAP. Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback!

scarlett71177 June 16 2007, 21:38:56 UTC

I love your icon too, btw!

mrstater June 17 2007, 02:36:58 UTC

Oh, thanks! ladybracknell made it.

sugarannie June 16 2007, 09:10:48 UTC

Wow, I really love this. Can't wait to see how you continue it (and really hope for that better time, because just reading this has upset me. Just imagine being in a situation like that...).
Oh, and am I the only one who now wants a pyjama reading "Save a broom; ride a Quidditch player." ?
:-)

mrstater June 16 2007, 12:58:18 UTC

Thank you so much! I'm sorry this was upsetting, but pleased it struck an emotional chord with you. It's very hard to do that to Remus, and Tonks, but especially Remus.

I'll try and update in a couple days!

baby_werewolf June 16 2007, 15:16:11 UTC

Wow, that was brilliant. Both of them are really in character - it's very believable, and I feel for both of them.
I like the character of Des, too - the conversation at the start is a good insight onto Tonks's thoughts and emotions, but Des is interesting in herself as well. And the bit at the end about sleepng with a werewolf is just right to end it - Tonks's trying to make a joke of it empahasives her emotions a lot. (and that's not exactly what I wanted to say, but I can't find quite the right words)

Oh, and I loved the bit with the Map. Especially Mr. Padfoot XD

mrstater June 17 2007, 12:59:50 UTC

Thank you so much! I'm really pleased you like the characterization in this, and I especially appreciate your comments on Des as OCs are tricky to make blend in with canon characters, and I really got stuck for a bit at the end. I do always believe angst and humor go hand-in-hand to pack an emotional punch, so I'm glad you think that worked at the end! And thanks for commenting on the Marauder's Map. I had such fun imagining what it would say to Tonks. :)