Reaction

[shimotsuki]

Title: Reaction
Author: shimotsuki
Rating & Warnings: PG (reference to offstage violence)
Prompts: Spectrespecs; Molly/Arthur; Apparate; angst
Word Count: 3808 words
Summary: Remus has spent his life learning to hide what he really thinks. What will it take to break through that mask?
Author's Notes: This story is set in the same universe as Subterfuge, my

Comments

[lady_bracknell]

I really enjoyed this. I thought you got Remus spot-on, with his reluctance to impose himself, even when he really needs it, and I loved Molly's POV, too - it was a nice tie-in for her interjection in the hospital scene.

I really liked your prose, too. There's an easiness to it which makes your work very readable.

Liked this a lot.

[shimotsuki]

You just totally made my day by your comment about the prose style, because I'm a little, er, compulsive about trying to get the sound of things right.

I'm glad you found my Molly and Remus plausible, too. So little is actually said in the infamous hospital-wing scene that it leaves us (as mrstater's Anne would say) lots of scope for the imagination.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

[mrstater]

This is one of my very favorite fics from this Jumble, as well as an all-time favorite, I think. From your Molly POV to the actual plot, you really did a fine job of both using your prompts creatively, and combining them into a cohesive whole

[shimotsuki]

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for the lovely comments!

I'm glad that what I was trying to do with Remus came through -- I wanted to show that it took major physical injury to make him lose his calm and collected persona, but then merely seeing Tonks unhappy had exactly the same effect. Although, importantly, he doesn't ever break down in front of her. (And if Molly had given him ten more minutes, I bet he'd have had it all under wraps again.)

(...and I REALLY WILL finish commenting on the Round 1 posts eventually, but I also want to try to get to the Round 2 posts while I have a chance at being on time with those, so it may take me a while longer to get back to Round 1...)

[jncar]

This is lovely writing. It flows very well, and is a pleasure to read.

I loved your characterization of Remus--it is spot on for the Remus we saw in HBP. Even after a dreadful attack, he is still able to compose himself enough to have good manners and a touch of humor. The tension during the visit with Tonks was palpable, and the way he finally let his emotions break through with Molly at the end was very touching.

I like this portrayal of them having been on the verge of "More than friends" when he left, so that they are both left wondering what might have been. It's a heartbreaking scenario for both of them, and you've handled it wonderfully.

I also like your characterization of Molly. She's a lovely character to work with and you handle her well, making her full of motherly kindness but just a touch of interfering.

Very nice work. :)

[shimotsuki]

Thank you so much for the comments!

I like this portrayal of them having been on the verge of "More than friends" when he left -- Whew, I'm relieved to hear that this aspect worked for you. I know this isn't the standard approach to R/T, but it was what I originally assumed had happened, so it's fun trying to write them that way. (I didn't discover fanfic until after HBP, so I didn't know about all the OotP relationship theories until much more recently.)

[anoipua]

Oh this is so nice! Your Molly is wonderful, mothering Remus like that. And I love your descriptions of Remus's mask. Very nice.

Bravo

[shimotsuki]

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! Remus comforted Molly a few times during OotP, so I figure now it's her turn.

[bratanimus]

Oh my goodness. I really loved this. Heartbreaking.

This part really got me: " ... A half dozen of them challenged me right away. I think they were probably wolves I'd, er, come to outrank, over the months." He flushed and looked down at his hand, curled around his teacup. Such a deft and succinct way of showing how embarrassed he is at what he is, and what he's having to do. Your precision is just wonderful.

Also loved Remus attempted to give her the smile he always used when circumstances forced him to ask for a favour - the smile that said, I'll be perfectly fine if you say no, so don't mind me. You've really got Remus spot on.

I loved Molly's POV and voice in this, and I think you captured it perfectly. How lovely to see her catch Remus at his weakest moment, before the mask flies up again, and have the opportunity to comfort him. Goodness knows he needs it.

Really loved this. :)

[shimotsuki]

Thanks so much for the comments -- I'm really happy to hear that you liked this. I was particularly pleased to hear that the bit where I was trying to show Remus's fundamental feeling of shame about being a werewolf came through for you; I wasn't sure if that was clear. I'm glad you liked Molly, too. I had a vivid mental picture of her switching from full-rant mode straight into mothering mode as soon as Remus turned around and she got a good look at him...