Things
It seems that recently things haven't been going all that well. Sorting through my things today as I sorted my room out it kinda gave me perspective on my life and a lot of things. Things really aren't how I wanted them or how I intended, so many things have gone wrong and theres so many things that are going wrong that I cant really help. Its distressing to say the least and I'm so drained, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. I cant find direction, Its like I can see everything I want to do and what I need but Im trapped in some Invisible Cage and all directions I should take or could take are just slipping past me as are all the people around me. Things used to be so different, they've changed so much. I dont know what I feel or what I want now. Of the things I know I want its all the stuff i should of done in the past and all the good things I have had that I have ruined and that lay crumbled around my feet as if taunting me.
Everyone seems to have direction in there lives, they know who they are, what they want and where there going. Where as with me its like Im chris..... but i dont know who that person is anymore. Or who i want it to be.
Sometimes I get really down about it all and sometimes I just dont care, I just really need to switch off and let things just go. I used to be able to do that. Just go home lay down sleep for a few days without nothing, no music, no people, no one to talk to or nothing just peace and sleep, and that would give me my energy and the rest I needed and would in a way clear my head. But at the moment I can't get that, I have no time, and I dont even have the energy to try.
It just seems that after I get one thing out of the way then another comes along, I just dont know where I am , I dont feel free to find myself or even get an idea of what i want out of all of this. Times passing by and I'm stuck.
Chris...
Everyone seems to have direction in there lives, they know who they are, what they want and where there going. Where as with me its like Im chris..... but i dont know who that person is anymore. Or who i want it to be.
Sometimes I get really down about it all and sometimes I just dont care, I just really need to switch off and let things just go. I used to be able to do that. Just go home lay down sleep for a few days without nothing, no music, no people, no one to talk to or nothing just peace and sleep, and that would give me my energy and the rest I needed and would in a way clear my head. But at the moment I can't get that, I have no time, and I dont even have the energy to try.
It just seems that after I get one thing out of the way then another comes along, I just dont know where I am , I dont feel free to find myself or even get an idea of what i want out of all of this. Times passing by and I'm stuck.
Chris...