(no subject)
Well I know you'll all be excited to hear that I feel like writing a little update on me.
I have my ups and downs. Right now I go back and forth between wanting Christine back more than anything and realizing that she's happier without me and if I really care about her I need to let her go. I know, for an absolute fact, that if we got back together right now that it would be totally different on my end, but that doesn't mean things would be better. I don't know. I would give my whole life up to go back to the beginning and do things over, from that first kiss in that doorway on Monroe. But that can't happen, all I can do is do things better when I start something new. I just wish with all my heart that I could start something new with her. But...well you see, I go back and forth. But this, but that.
I got scheduled to work 5 days next week, and told the lady that does the scheduling that I don't want hours, I want to work for only 2 or 3 days a week. she said that's cool, so one week left of real work then i get to slack off.
School is going ok, I'm falling behind because I didn't take it too seriously at the beginning. I need to get my butt in gear in math, I got a 64% on our first test, and I've found 3 assignments in my notebook that I really did forget to turn in. I'll be ok though.
That's pretty much it. I haven't met anyone yet, even though I'm so fucking lonely sitting up in my room alone. Going to sleep is hard these days. But I'm not going to force it, I want something real with someone good and that has to happen naturally. And it will happen. It already happened once, I just hopefully know a little better about how to appreciate what I have and not fuck it up, and in turn get fucked over.
I'm looking at things from a real-life standpoint now, not a feel-sorry-for-me-and-pity-me-until-you-lie-to-me-to-make-me-happy one. We'll see if it works. I'm always open for a new way to do things.
I have my ups and downs. Right now I go back and forth between wanting Christine back more than anything and realizing that she's happier without me and if I really care about her I need to let her go. I know, for an absolute fact, that if we got back together right now that it would be totally different on my end, but that doesn't mean things would be better. I don't know. I would give my whole life up to go back to the beginning and do things over, from that first kiss in that doorway on Monroe. But that can't happen, all I can do is do things better when I start something new. I just wish with all my heart that I could start something new with her. But...well you see, I go back and forth. But this, but that.
I got scheduled to work 5 days next week, and told the lady that does the scheduling that I don't want hours, I want to work for only 2 or 3 days a week. she said that's cool, so one week left of real work then i get to slack off.
School is going ok, I'm falling behind because I didn't take it too seriously at the beginning. I need to get my butt in gear in math, I got a 64% on our first test, and I've found 3 assignments in my notebook that I really did forget to turn in. I'll be ok though.
That's pretty much it. I haven't met anyone yet, even though I'm so fucking lonely sitting up in my room alone. Going to sleep is hard these days. But I'm not going to force it, I want something real with someone good and that has to happen naturally. And it will happen. It already happened once, I just hopefully know a little better about how to appreciate what I have and not fuck it up, and in turn get fucked over.
I'm looking at things from a real-life standpoint now, not a feel-sorry-for-me-and-pity-me-until-you-lie-to-me-to-make-me-happy one. We'll see if it works. I'm always open for a new way to do things.