Strange, Exhausted Ramblings
I'm so exhausted! Wednesday's are my long days. I have my Evolution class, then I have a short break before having to head to the lab I teach, which is followed by my heading to Lipman to pick Maddisyn up from preschool and having some quality time eating lunch with her and chatting about our days, then heading back to campus to catch up on work before having to attend my evening Multivariate Statistics class. *sigh* I'm pretty damn exhausted. Oh well, at least Friday's I have no real obligations, so I can focus on catching up from losing most of my Wednesday's.
Unrelated, this has been circulating through my department recently. I am a PhD student in a biology program, and as if that wasn't enough to presume that I believe in evolution, much of the basis of what I study is based on the idea of evolution occurring (the reality is that all disciplines of biology is dependent on evolution and most of the biological phenomena we observe only makes sense in light of evolution, but some people say otherwise). Anyway, I personally do not think that believing in evolution means that one cannot be religious or spiritual; I do not think the two (evolution and faith) are mutually exclusive at all. I do not hold anything against anyone who is religious or spiritual, and contrary to popular belief, I do have my own spiritual beliefs. However, I detest Christian fundamentalist who insists on a literal interpretation of Genesis and wacko, over-aggressive cock-puppet like Richard Dawkins equally. I have a huge issue with zealots of any sort. I think a person who refuses to accept observable and provable phenomena as fact are very narrow-minded and ignorant. However, I also think that scientists who viciously proclaim that there is no God and no creator, and that all religious is bullshit is just as narrow-minded, and that is not a trait that is desirable in any scientist. A good scientist should be able to make rational and educated statements based on observable evidence, but also be open enough to know that what is known now may change in the future in light of new information (that is part of the scientific process). To proclaim that without a doubt something is not possible is absurd to me. In my mind, one can make the statement that based on current evidence, it seems highly unlikely for these things (a god, a heaven, etc.) to be fact, but that they should not completely close themselves off to the possibility (mind you, I do not that thing the mere possibility that it may be true is enough to tout it as such, but I think it's important to be open to the possibility, if that makes sense).
Anyway, the stupid attempt to disprove evolution based on peanut butter is enraging to me. Though, it's not just that the people are claiming that something I believe to be true is not that enrages me. It's not even the fact that they are so condescending and insulting toward scientists in the clip that pisses me off. What enrages me is that these people feel that they have room to dispute a subject that they obviously do not know anything about. I mean for starters, their brief, condescending and over-simplified explanation of what evolution is was ridiculous. If you're going to insult something and attempt to tear it apart, at least have the common sense to open a fucking book on the subject so that you know what you're talking about. What's worse to me, though, is the fact that people see this stuff and swallow it. People who have no idea what evolution is see this and believe that what these crack-pots say is true. The level of ignorance in this society is so sad to me.
I'm not saying that anyone who read a book on evolution would be changed and a new believer. I'm just saying that people should try to educate themselves on a subject thoroughly and decide for themselves, rather than just believing whatever anyone says to them (whether it be a minister or a biology teacher). When Michael first came to me and asked me to tell him about evolution (being raised Mormon, it was sort of a topic of ridicule in his house), instead of preaching to him the wonders of evolution, I just sent him links and pointed him in directions to learn about it, specifically telling him that he needed to explore the subject on his own, take the information from both sides (the church and evolutionists) and make up his own mind. I told him that when he learned enough to feel he could discuss it with me, that I would then talk to him about it, but I was not going to sway in any way. I probably did more to make him reconsider leaving the church when he did, then his family will probably ever give me credit for. My point is that I think controversial topics like this is something people should form an opinion on independently and be weary of where they get their information from (and ensure that biased information is balanced with the opposing side).
Anyway, sorry for my little evolution rant.
Unrelated, I wanted to say a few things about the ring I chose for my wedding ring. For those who are interested, you can read my incessant ramblings The reality is, simple or not, I quite love the ring Josh and I got when we got married (the "stunt" ring, as I called it before). It's a very simple three-stone ring with small oval pink sapphires set in white gold. That may not seem like much, but it meant a lot to me because it was something my husband and I chose together, and sapphires are my birthstone (and favorite gem stone). In addition, I work in a lab, taking latex gloves off and on all of the time, and using harsh chemicals, so something overly extravagant (or obtrusive enough to pierce my latex gloves), is quite honestly not practical. I didn't want a ring I couldn't wear most of the time. So, my current ring was fitting and appropriate (most of the married women in my department don't wear rings at all, and those who do, simply wear basic bands with limited embellishments). Josh however, kept saying that he still wanted to get me a "nice" ring. Of course, at heart, I'm a girl and nice, pretty things are a weakness, so I happily agreed. However, my search was quite long and painful and not the fun sort of experience most blushing brides would think it to be.
Every ring, or ring set, that I looked at seemed typical. It was the same-old-same-old sort of stuff you always saw that a girl would show off and everyone would oooh and awww at. Sure, they were pretty (gorgeous even), but they all just felt hallow to me. They lacked personality and they largely just simply did not feel like me. I wanted something interesting and unique and that I wasn't going to see on another woman's finger, and I wanted something that reflected me and my relationship with Josh. Something unconventional and not overly traditional. However, no matter what I looked at I felt like I would be settling. I mean, a little pave here or side stones there or whatever... All of the embellishments sort of looked the same, and all of the "unique" touches seemed to have little difference from other stuff. So unhappy and dissatisfied, I decided to look at rings that did not have the wedding or bridal name attached to it.
That led me to looking for a sapphire ring, which is a popular choice for the unconventional bride. So much, in fact, that there are places you go that specialize in sapphire bridal jewelry. I was very excited at first, because contrary to popular belief, diamonds are not all that rare, and their prices are artificially inflated, and true, natural, unheated gem stone is significantly more rare, especially of good quality. I was determined to find the perfect sapphire ring. However, the more I looked, the more I felt like the only difference between these rings and those with diamonds was that they were colored. Sure, they're more rare, and sure they're interesting (in that whole, I prefer color sort of way), but many of the settings were exactly like the traditional jewelry I looked at. I got excited when I was introduced to the idea of star sapphires, which are unique and rare and beautiful because of these interesting flaws they have within them which creates a pretty star pattern on them. The idea that they were beautiful because of their flaws was very appealing to me (it's a Japanese aesthetic thing that I'm very into). However, a joke made by Josh tarnished the idea for me. It was for the best though, since my bright idea of using a star sapphire cabochon has become popular enough, that fucking Tiffany's of all places has one that has been advertised as a non-traditional engagement ring. *blech*
So there I was, feeling like if I went with a traditional sapphire or other gem stone, I was doing the same thing everyone else did, but with color added, and if I went the star sapphire route, it just didn't feel as original as I had wanted it to be. I mean, had it been some smaller, independent sort of jeweler advertising such a thing, that wouldn't bug me, but I'm not sure I could get more commercial and evil (or more a sellout) than to be having a Tiffany's knock-off. Granted, mine would have been custom made to my specifications (I found a place that would do it), but the idea lost its flare and I was deeply frustrated. I felt like no matter what I did, I was going to be settling, and I just wanted something that didn't feel commercial and cold, but something sweet and unconventional, like my relationship with my husband.
During this time, I had learned more about the diamond trade, which sickened me, so I knew I definitely wasn't going back to that route (Josh and I decided that small side stones, preferably from conflict-free and non-DeBeer's sources were fine, but nothing major because we have no desire to support the fuckers). So, while up one night and on the verge of hysterics, because I felt I would never find something that felt right, I was venting to Michael online about the situation. He kept asking what I wanted and I kept saying that I didn't know and that I was to the point where I didn't really want anything. I mean, like I said, anything too flashy or obtrusive is not practical for my everyday life, and I don't want something I will only wear once a month. It was during that conversation that I blurted out, "You know, it's too bad that I can't just get a ring with an amber stone, because amber's favorite, and it's way cooler than any of that other shit." As soon as I typed it, the idea clicked. I mean, why couldn't I get a ring of amber?
Amber is my favorite stone (even more than sapphire, though I call sapphire my favorite gem stone, since amber is not really a gem, despite people calling it one... I refuse to call it that though), and it has sentimental value. The first piece of jewelry Josh ever got me was a pair of amber earrings to match a necklace I had bought many moons prior. It was followed up by another set of amber jewelry shortly after (probably my favorite set). He then started getting me gem stone jewelry because he said he didn't want to always be getting me amber, however, amber has always been my favorite. Aside from my love of the stone, amber is nicknamed "Norse Gold" which is fitting, given my hubby's heritage, but more than just that its a precious stone praised by the Scandinavian's and used by the Vikings, it would sort of help to make our rings "match" in a sense. I had wanted our rings to match, or at least fit together in some way. Josh chose a simple ring that is engraved with Futhark on both the outside and the inside, the phrase being a personally selected quote written by me (the outside will read: Strength and Wisdom, while the inside reads "Honors our Love"; it's a simple phrase that has a lot of meaning to Josh and me and our relationship, and my selection of "honors" rather than "guides" or "protects" or "watches over" or something else along those lines reflects the fact that we recognize that we are in this relationship through our own dedication, not because some other power is helping us to remain in it, but because we choose to make the sacrifices to be together on our own; yeah, we're nerds :-) ). Anyway, so having him with a Futhark ring and me with an amber ring seemed fitting.
What just adds to how fitting it all is, is that while we were in Copenhagen last spring, Josh and I visited amber shops and amber museums, because I love amber so much. He meant to get me something from a fairly famous and well known chain of shops (House of Amber; they're the largest distributor of amber in the world, and they specialize in fine amber jewelry, not your typical silver and amber trinket stuff), but we never made our way back before having to leave. The House of Amber has a web site, but it doesn't have their inventory listed. So, I contacted them directly and gave them my specifications of what I was looking for (one of the requirements was that the amber needed to be included, meaning there was ancient stuff like plant matter or bugs, stuck in it, once again playing on the whole Japanese aesthetic I was going for with the star sapphire). They sent me several pictures of styles of rings they had, and admitted that it was probably one of the more odd requests they heard (to use an amber ring for a wedding ring), but they happily obliged. When I looked at the first couple of pictures, I thought they were pretty and nice, but it was the very last one that made me literally squeal. I loved it. I knew it was the one for me, so now we've order it and they are sizing it and sending it to me. It will probably be a few weeks before I get it, but I am very excited.
Just as a side note... One of the things I have always loved about amber, is how old it is. Amber takes a very, very long time to make, most amber found in the world ranging between 30-90 million years old. I'm sure you think the same must be true for diamonds and any other gem stone, but it really isn't. Gem stones are the product of the correct situation happening. They are formed via carbon (and in the case of things other than diamonds, other trace elements) having a high amount of either heat or pressure applied to it, resulting in a gem stone. This process can take years, or it can take minutes. The only thing that makes lab created gem stones different from natural ones is that they were made in a lab and are structurally flawless.
Anyway, the whole age of amber relates to some strange philosophical bents I have. I have a very weird thing about how life is series of chance and probabilities. Our life is owed to chance (the chance of being conceived, the chance of how we ended up in the lives we had, etc.) and that such probabilities does not merely span from our lifetime, but our ancestors (the probability of our parents meeting and having us, let alone being born, as well as our grandparents and great-grandparents, etc.). We owe everything in our life to fortunate probabilistic events that happened all throughout the history of man, and even before man, right up to the chance that a huge planet named Theia could strike earth and tilt its axis, giving rise to the chemical changes needed for life to occur at all, or even earlier when the big bang happened. My point is that the probability of one life is more than just the chance of a zygote being conceived, but it is a summation of the probability events that led up to that moment, including things millions and billions of years ago. That probably sounds very queer to most people, but I promise that grumblings and complaints now and again aside, I probably appreciate things in my life, a lot more than the average person (don't even get me started on my belief of how the conservation of energy affects things).
Anyway, the idea of my having a stone on my finger that represents millions of yeas of existence and change, seems so very beautiful to me. The thought of having a non-Newtonian solid as the stone on my wedding ring (I'm sure that made me sound very nerdy), just seems romantic (the idea that our relationship can change slowly overtime, rather than being fixed and static, but still be firm and reliable, it just seems like something lucky to represent a relationship). Most of all, it reminds me that this relationship, this commitment, was not merely the result of chance circumstances that occurred in our lifetime, but rather billions of events that built on each other in succession since the birth of this universe. In short, it is a reminder that this love was millions and millions of years in the making. How is that not more perfect for a wedding ring? How is that not more us? I am not trying to justify my selection, but merely am giddy and thrilled to have found something that I really and truly feel could ever have the honor and privilege of having the title "the symbol of our love".
Well, enough rambling on that. I'm just so terribly excited, so I wanted to broadcast it to the world. I'm surprised if anyone really had the patience to read this far.
Anyway, take care!
Big Love,
.athene.