I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this
I only had one person show up to class last night. Mike has started moving stuff out and it feels like a punch in the gut. He and I spent hours last night wrapped in each others arms, crying our faces off. It was our last night together.
Chiropractor appointment this morning - I cried on Dr. Schmolke's hand. I'm so tired of crying, particularly of crying in public. I've been awake since 5am because I just can't sleep. For some reason this week Quinn has come in during the night and curled up snuggly against me. One night it was against my side with her head on my chest, last night she was pressed against my stomach. She hasn't done that in the longest time, but it makes me really happy, it's such a comfort.
I texted Krisann this morning and told her about the break up. Her response upset me, "I did hear rumours of your breakup and was very sad to hear it. I hope it's what you really want. Nothing important in life is easy. I'm sure you have good reasons, but make sure in your heart they are the right ones. I'm not going to lie and say I don't love Mike, 'cause I really adore him. I want to make sure you are thinking long term. It boils down to the fact that I just want you to be happy. Nobody loves you more than your auntie." While I appreciate her concern and advice, the LAST thing I need to do right now is over think this.
There WILL be a better relationship in the future, I know it.
Went for breakfast and then coffee with Ash. I interviewed her for my business research and it went really well. Even just talking is inspiring, for both of us, regardless of whether there's a "work" component involved. I can't wait to start sharing this stuff with people on a regular basis. I have a lot of work to do. Kristen Domingue is keeping me busy and motivated, but I'm having trouble focusing, and it's impossible for me to work when Mike is actually in the house.
I just keep telling myself, "The way out is through." (Thank you elixxir) Seriously, why is this so damn hard??
I read this yesterday: http://www.mamamia.com.au/news/her-husband-had-an-accident/ And now I really wish I had a giant sign around my neck that read: My love is moving out of my home and life, and my heart is breaking I honestly feel that right now I need to be explained to everyone I come in contact with, but of course that doesn't happen, polite society decrees we keep our business out of stranger's view.
Chiropractor appointment this morning - I cried on Dr. Schmolke's hand. I'm so tired of crying, particularly of crying in public. I've been awake since 5am because I just can't sleep. For some reason this week Quinn has come in during the night and curled up snuggly against me. One night it was against my side with her head on my chest, last night she was pressed against my stomach. She hasn't done that in the longest time, but it makes me really happy, it's such a comfort.
I texted Krisann this morning and told her about the break up. Her response upset me, "I did hear rumours of your breakup and was very sad to hear it. I hope it's what you really want. Nothing important in life is easy. I'm sure you have good reasons, but make sure in your heart they are the right ones. I'm not going to lie and say I don't love Mike, 'cause I really adore him. I want to make sure you are thinking long term. It boils down to the fact that I just want you to be happy. Nobody loves you more than your auntie." While I appreciate her concern and advice, the LAST thing I need to do right now is over think this.
There WILL be a better relationship in the future, I know it.
Went for breakfast and then coffee with Ash. I interviewed her for my business research and it went really well. Even just talking is inspiring, for both of us, regardless of whether there's a "work" component involved. I can't wait to start sharing this stuff with people on a regular basis. I have a lot of work to do. Kristen Domingue is keeping me busy and motivated, but I'm having trouble focusing, and it's impossible for me to work when Mike is actually in the house.
I just keep telling myself, "The way out is through." (Thank you elixxir) Seriously, why is this so damn hard??
I read this yesterday: http://www.mamamia.com.au/news/her-husband-had-an-accident/ And now I really wish I had a giant sign around my neck that read: My love is moving out of my home and life, and my heart is breaking I honestly feel that right now I need to be explained to everyone I come in contact with, but of course that doesn't happen, polite society decrees we keep our business out of stranger's view.