Same day, different country
I keep meaning to post about Nicaragua, but every time I sit down to do so I just can't find anything to say, or at least no good way to start. I mean, there's only so many times I can write, "He got wasted and proceeded to tell me how much he hates me and our relationship." Yes, that happened again, the second night we were in Nica. I wasn't surprised, but I was pissed off that he decided to go ahead and do that again. Couldn't he have gotten it out of his system before we flew to another country together? Or even better, maybe he could have waited until we got back home?? Unfortunately it happened a second time, just a few days before we came home. That time he kept yelling, "Buzz kill McKinnley! That's what you are, a buzz kill!" and then he left me alone in our room while he went out to party party party his face off until some insane hour. The good part, was that we've gone through this so many times that it actually didn't ruin our trip. Yay! We pretty much carried on as normal, and in general the trip was really lovely.
What does this mean for us? Well I expected we'd have some big talk when we returned home, but we haven't. In fact I've been very VERY surprised to hear him make comments about, "When we do that thing this summer." or "We should totally look into doing that next year." and other things about the future. Together. Which frankly just doesn't seem likely. Although here we are, four years later, and still doing the same damn thing, so who knows, maybe we will in fact be together doing the same damn thing for the next four years.
Home is still good. Day to day life together is great. A tad bit boring perhaps, but I think that's normal..? The only thing that's changed is I'm beginning to care less and less about what he does and says.
I think we both know we need to move on, but neither of us wants to move out of our great house, neither of us wants things to be awkward and sad between us, neither of us wants to uproot the life we have, and neither of us has any interest in starting back at the very beginning with somebody new. *sigh*
What does this mean for us? Well I expected we'd have some big talk when we returned home, but we haven't. In fact I've been very VERY surprised to hear him make comments about, "When we do that thing this summer." or "We should totally look into doing that next year." and other things about the future. Together. Which frankly just doesn't seem likely. Although here we are, four years later, and still doing the same damn thing, so who knows, maybe we will in fact be together doing the same damn thing for the next four years.
Home is still good. Day to day life together is great. A tad bit boring perhaps, but I think that's normal..? The only thing that's changed is I'm beginning to care less and less about what he does and says.
I think we both know we need to move on, but neither of us wants to move out of our great house, neither of us wants things to be awkward and sad between us, neither of us wants to uproot the life we have, and neither of us has any interest in starting back at the very beginning with somebody new. *sigh*