aaaahh
okay, so i have my psych exam at noon... pretty much scared about it, but i averaged my grade and i think i'm going to pass the class, barely, but i will... although i'm confident about her exam, i'm not so confident about the comprhensive exam by the psych dept. oh and on my 2 online quizzes today i got a 90 and a 95! horray for me!!
anyways, i'm lying here trying to sleep, but i have too much on my mind and my finger hurts and itches like a bitch. so i didnt make my payment to the univerrsity on time b/c of my injury, hopefully if i explain the siuation they'll waive the late fee :/ i really hope so. Anyways, I've noticed myself starting to go back to dealing with certain thing the same way i did back in high school. i hate it. i'm hot-headed and i cant help that, but i can help what bothers me, but i've been knda bitchy lately (partially b/c of meds, mostly b/c of myself) also i've noticed myself pushing people away and becoming distant, this is my worst trait. i get close to people and then i push them away, i love most everyone here, and i know that most of them aren't going to stab me in the back, but i still push away b/c i have issues trusting people... Could explain, but not on here. I've been working on that, along with alot of other things, and i thought i was doing good, but i've been excluding myself alot (even before the injury) and i feel bad. I don't think that anyone's mad at me or even realizes it like i do cuz most people wouldn't know, but i still feel bad.
On the upside, since moving out here, i've learned to not be shy, be more confident about myself, act like the idiot i am, not worry about my looks like i used to, and not blow things out of proportion. it's jsut the pushing away factor. ugh oh well, i'll get over it. at least i'm aware of it right? isn't that the first step in admitting you have a problem? haha.. There's a couple other things that are bothering me, but again, they're stupid and pointless and it just me being a dumbass.
Note to self: don't think about things or read into things the night before an exam especially when you have tylenol3 in your system.
...I really wish I could take a real shower, i'm starting to feel disgusting.. blech.
Wednesday i get the stitches out, and mom's coming out here for that, then shes going to pack all my stuff up and take it home with her for me.. and i'll be home on thursday... home sweet home, i think we all need that right now, even though i know i'm going to miss it here! I'll miss certain people (person) more though;) but i'm def going to miss my [college] family!
So the upside to hacking your finger off is that your mommy will do your laundry for you and you don't have to do holiday cleaning :)... downside is it hurts like a bitch, you take massive drugs that knock you out for half the day, you can't shower, or change your clothes w/o putting your hand through hell, you can't decorate your x-mas tree or take an exam on your own.. worst of all you have to ask everyone and their mom to help you with stupid everyday stuff that we all take for granted. phooy
i just wanna sleep right now but i can't... sleeep jess sleep... nope taht didn't work. wish my hand didn't hurt like a mother... is it sad that i'm not looking forward to really seeing anyone f/ home besides my family? but i can't wait to have my OUpeople parties? AKA girls sleepover at Sam's and Jared's 21 b-day! fun fun fun times will be had over break! hmm i think maybe i can sleep now, even if i can't, i'm going to try anyways. so good night all!
anyways, i'm lying here trying to sleep, but i have too much on my mind and my finger hurts and itches like a bitch. so i didnt make my payment to the univerrsity on time b/c of my injury, hopefully if i explain the siuation they'll waive the late fee :/ i really hope so. Anyways, I've noticed myself starting to go back to dealing with certain thing the same way i did back in high school. i hate it. i'm hot-headed and i cant help that, but i can help what bothers me, but i've been knda bitchy lately (partially b/c of meds, mostly b/c of myself) also i've noticed myself pushing people away and becoming distant, this is my worst trait. i get close to people and then i push them away, i love most everyone here, and i know that most of them aren't going to stab me in the back, but i still push away b/c i have issues trusting people... Could explain, but not on here. I've been working on that, along with alot of other things, and i thought i was doing good, but i've been excluding myself alot (even before the injury) and i feel bad. I don't think that anyone's mad at me or even realizes it like i do cuz most people wouldn't know, but i still feel bad.
On the upside, since moving out here, i've learned to not be shy, be more confident about myself, act like the idiot i am, not worry about my looks like i used to, and not blow things out of proportion. it's jsut the pushing away factor. ugh oh well, i'll get over it. at least i'm aware of it right? isn't that the first step in admitting you have a problem? haha.. There's a couple other things that are bothering me, but again, they're stupid and pointless and it just me being a dumbass.
Note to self: don't think about things or read into things the night before an exam especially when you have tylenol3 in your system.
...I really wish I could take a real shower, i'm starting to feel disgusting.. blech.
Wednesday i get the stitches out, and mom's coming out here for that, then shes going to pack all my stuff up and take it home with her for me.. and i'll be home on thursday... home sweet home, i think we all need that right now, even though i know i'm going to miss it here! I'll miss certain people (person) more though;) but i'm def going to miss my [college] family!
So the upside to hacking your finger off is that your mommy will do your laundry for you and you don't have to do holiday cleaning :)... downside is it hurts like a bitch, you take massive drugs that knock you out for half the day, you can't shower, or change your clothes w/o putting your hand through hell, you can't decorate your x-mas tree or take an exam on your own.. worst of all you have to ask everyone and their mom to help you with stupid everyday stuff that we all take for granted. phooy
i just wanna sleep right now but i can't... sleeep jess sleep... nope taht didn't work. wish my hand didn't hurt like a mother... is it sad that i'm not looking forward to really seeing anyone f/ home besides my family? but i can't wait to have my OUpeople parties? AKA girls sleepover at Sam's and Jared's 21 b-day! fun fun fun times will be had over break! hmm i think maybe i can sleep now, even if i can't, i'm going to try anyways. so good night all!