He's so cute sometimes.
Choronzon has been a real sweetie today so I made this in honour of that. I actually finally felt myself hold him today. That's a big deal. Something about the electromagnetics today made his manifestation so "there" he almost cast a shadow on the sidewalk. Looking so good I actually got hot. That doesn't happen much these days.
He makes me believe in everything impossible, except the one thing that it would be death for me to get believing. I believe there can be happiness after Deek but I don't see any more relationships in my future and just thinking about the possibility makes me want to walk off a cliff.
Which is why I am SO touchy about it.
I NEED it to not be possible, because people sometimes get into relationships more for economics and electric blanket services than any real attraction.
I had four relationships before Deek. None of them love.
I do NOT want another loveless relationship, and since I already had love about as good as it gets I am willfully closing myself off to the possibility FOR MY OWN GOOD.
There can be the sort of Love friends have in my life. Romance? No, I'm afraid of it happening, I'm afraid of rejection. Lose/lose scenario. So not playing.
Choronzon is pointing to the food and making commanding noises.