(no subject)
All three kids are over here tonight. I’ve been thinking mostly about middle and youngest child, because they will be doing this for years to come, but forgot that oldest child would be over here too. So my small little apartment, which has been blissfully quiet for the last few days, has been filled with noise and life and mess.
I know the kids will have long lasting effects from all this, and that they’re probably still denying this. But tonight they were in good spirits, and we’ve all had a good time. Low pressure, too. When K is around, I’ve always felt I needed to be on guard, on alert, ready to jump at a moment’s notice. Now - that’s gone. I don’t need to sweat every detail, worry that everything is perfect. Oh, that’s an exaggeration, certainly, but when it’s just me, I have no fear of second guessing. It’s good…
I know the kids will have long lasting effects from all this, and that they’re probably still denying this. But tonight they were in good spirits, and we’ve all had a good time. Low pressure, too. When K is around, I’ve always felt I needed to be on guard, on alert, ready to jump at a moment’s notice. Now - that’s gone. I don’t need to sweat every detail, worry that everything is perfect. Oh, that’s an exaggeration, certainly, but when it’s just me, I have no fear of second guessing. It’s good…