Updet
I don't know where I read this, but I think about it now:
"While you're killing time, time's killing you."
Yea, it's kinda (being generous) cliché, but it makes me think. I am in a lucky position, I am getting paid well and have perks, get to work on things I think I like, but I am not sure - if this is it, you know?
I am sorry I am in a privileged position and I am still complaining. I don't want to complain, please don't get me wrong, but life's passing by and I am sat here - and I am not sure if this hussle is worth it. It's 19 PM here. I have been here since 8 AM. I stopped working maybe 20 minutes ago. My brain is exhausted.
J, a friend of mine who is infinitely smarter than me when it comes to real life, told me I think too much - how about you stopped overthinking for once, and followed common sense? Well, J, I wish! What is it to not overthink? I don't know.
It's hard make friends as an adult - even in academia. Relationships here are nice and polite. I haven't said DICKS in 4 days - that's a benchmark of how much I feel at home.