For sakuracorr
Title: If I’ve Got the Bananas, Who is Getting Us Out of Here?
Author: Merlin's Sister
E-mail: michemerlin1@aol.com
Rating: G
Disclaimers: The Stargate: Atlantis characters are owned by MGM and Dr Who by the BBC. Just borrowing them for a bit of fun. No point in suing me anyway. I work in the public sector.
Category: Gen, crossover Atlantis/Dr Who
Summary: John, Rodney and Ronon trying to escape from The Hive with ‘help’ from the Doctor and Donna.
Author's notes: Developed from a discussion with sakuracorr which has got out of control. Apologies in advance for disregarding/ignorance of modern Dr Who canon. I will say that I ignore the resolution to Donna’s condition in Journey’s End. Ten has been no good without her.
Author’s notes 2: Currently unbetaed so bizarre spelling and grammar all down to me.
If it wasn’t for the fact that they were stuck on a Wraith ship, and that there was a banana where his gun used to be John would be quite enjoying the exchange in front of him. He still wasn’t clear where the man and the woman had come from but they seemed to be on his side so he wasn’t too worried about asking questions at the moment. Rodney though had other ideas.
“What do you mean you don’t know why it’s parked there?!” Rodney exploded. “I thought you said you were good at temporal issues.”
“I am,” replied the other man who said he was just called Doctor. Rodney, in his usual attempt at academic one upmanship, had tried to find out what he was a doctor in, but hadn’t got anywhere. The only result had been a smile on the woman’s face. John got the sense she had seen this sort of exchange before. He also recognised the skill of underselling your intelligence when he saw it.
“Sheppard!”
It took a moment for John to realise Rodney had turned his frustrations on to him.
“What?” John asked as calmly as he could.
“His ship is parked over ours. We are stuck here unless you can do something... military.” The hand wave that accompanied the last word told John where Rodney was in his opinion of the options available to them. Probably rewriting his last will and testament in his head again.
“Rodney, I have a banana where my gun used to be,” John replied. “I think this problem is definitely one for the scientists.”
“Always excuses,” Rodney growled before turning back to the Doctor who was walking around his ship, a large blue box unbelievably, waving the same sonic device that had changed his gun to a banana.
“I don’t understand it,” the Doctor said, sounding genuinely confused. “She isn’t responding to me at all.”
“Yes, yes,” Rodney replied impatiently. “Temporal displacement. I thought we had agreed that.”
The woman, Donna, moved closer to the Doctor. “But she always responds to you.” Donna glanced at John. “I swear I have never felt more like a gooseberry with a man and his machine as with these two.”
The Doctor glanced over his black rimmed glasses at her. “Well, she’s never behaved like this until she started getting input from your mind as well.”
“That’s right, blame me,” she huffed. “Let’s not forget the little reason I have that ability... oh yes, metacrisis and saving the universe. Not to mention saving your skinny arse in the process.”
“Metacrisis?” John asked before he could regret the possible answer.
“Biological exchange of life energy,” the Doctor replied. “There can be some side effects.”
“Tell me about it,” replied Donna, though, John noticed, not with any rancour. “Like sharing my mind with those two.” She jerked a finger at the Doctor and the blue box.
“You have a telepathic link with your ship?” John asked, intrigued at the possibility.
“It’s complicated,” replied the Doctor.
“And not working,” Rodney added.
“Yes... no... “ The Doctor looked puzzled for a moment. “But I can still sense her.” He looked quizzically at Donna.
“Still crowded in here,” she confirmed.
“So, she can’t be that far from our temporal reality, just not close enough for us to get access,” the Doctor said, putting the sonic device into his jacket pocket. “Curious.”
“Curious!” exclaimed Rodney. “We are stuck on a ship full of life sucking aliens, with our only means of escape blocked by your temporally stuck ship, and our only means of defence now good with ice cream. I am more than a little curious.”
“Yes,” replied the Doctor. “Quite intriguing, isn’t it.”
Rodney opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Even for him there seemed to be no answer to such a comment.
“Could it be something on this ship is causing the problem?” John asked, almost taking a step back when three sets of eyes snapped to him, looks of surprise on their faces when they realised that he may have hit on the problem.
“Control panel,” Rodney and the Doctor said in unison, and started to charge off down the corridor.
“Hold on!” Donna exclaimed. “How do you expect us all to get passed the life sucking aliens around here?” She gestured to John. “You’ve left him with a banana, remember?”
“Ah, right,” replied The Doctor. “Could be an issue.”
“Then I’ll just have to help,” a voice rumbled from behind them.
“Ronon!” Rodney exclaimed. “What happened to us sending you off in the last dart?”
The large Satedan shrugged slightly. “Decided to stay.”
John wasn’t paying that much attention to the conversation, his eyes taken by Ronon’s holster.
“Why isn’t his blaster a banana?” he demanded of the Doctor.
“It’s got a stun setting,” he replied simply before turning his eyes on the Satedan. “You may find it locked on that for a while.”
Ronon didn’t look happy at this news but didn’t utter any protests. John thought it was probably a good thing that the Doctor wasn’t telepathically linked to Ronon though.
“Right then,” the Doctor grinned. “Control panel. Come on, Rodney. This will be fun.”
“Oh hilarious,” Rodney sighed. “I love saving everyone from life threatening situations.”
“I should think so. You do it often enough,” the Doctor replied enigmatically, Donna’s grin adding to the uncertain look on Rodney’s face.
Rodney glanced back at John who just shrugged. As he started to follow the scientists down the corridor John reached for his banana. He broke it open and took a defiant bite out of it.
“Don’t look so smug,” he growled at Ronon as the Satedan took up point behind him. “Just be thankful he didn’t turn your blaster into an orange or something.”
“Yeah, that could have been sticky,” Ronon replied completely deadpan.
Not for the first time John wondered which deity in the universe he had pissed off enough to have ended up in these situations. With a deep sigh he headed back off into the Hive.
Author: Merlin's Sister
E-mail: michemerlin1@aol.com
Rating: G
Disclaimers: The Stargate: Atlantis characters are owned by MGM and Dr Who by the BBC. Just borrowing them for a bit of fun. No point in suing me anyway. I work in the public sector.
Category: Gen, crossover Atlantis/Dr Who
Summary: John, Rodney and Ronon trying to escape from The Hive with ‘help’ from the Doctor and Donna.
Author's notes: Developed from a discussion with sakuracorr which has got out of control. Apologies in advance for disregarding/ignorance of modern Dr Who canon. I will say that I ignore the resolution to Donna’s condition in Journey’s End. Ten has been no good without her.
Author’s notes 2: Currently unbetaed so bizarre spelling and grammar all down to me.
If it wasn’t for the fact that they were stuck on a Wraith ship, and that there was a banana where his gun used to be John would be quite enjoying the exchange in front of him. He still wasn’t clear where the man and the woman had come from but they seemed to be on his side so he wasn’t too worried about asking questions at the moment. Rodney though had other ideas.
“What do you mean you don’t know why it’s parked there?!” Rodney exploded. “I thought you said you were good at temporal issues.”
“I am,” replied the other man who said he was just called Doctor. Rodney, in his usual attempt at academic one upmanship, had tried to find out what he was a doctor in, but hadn’t got anywhere. The only result had been a smile on the woman’s face. John got the sense she had seen this sort of exchange before. He also recognised the skill of underselling your intelligence when he saw it.
“Sheppard!”
It took a moment for John to realise Rodney had turned his frustrations on to him.
“What?” John asked as calmly as he could.
“His ship is parked over ours. We are stuck here unless you can do something... military.” The hand wave that accompanied the last word told John where Rodney was in his opinion of the options available to them. Probably rewriting his last will and testament in his head again.
“Rodney, I have a banana where my gun used to be,” John replied. “I think this problem is definitely one for the scientists.”
“Always excuses,” Rodney growled before turning back to the Doctor who was walking around his ship, a large blue box unbelievably, waving the same sonic device that had changed his gun to a banana.
“I don’t understand it,” the Doctor said, sounding genuinely confused. “She isn’t responding to me at all.”
“Yes, yes,” Rodney replied impatiently. “Temporal displacement. I thought we had agreed that.”
The woman, Donna, moved closer to the Doctor. “But she always responds to you.” Donna glanced at John. “I swear I have never felt more like a gooseberry with a man and his machine as with these two.”
The Doctor glanced over his black rimmed glasses at her. “Well, she’s never behaved like this until she started getting input from your mind as well.”
“That’s right, blame me,” she huffed. “Let’s not forget the little reason I have that ability... oh yes, metacrisis and saving the universe. Not to mention saving your skinny arse in the process.”
“Metacrisis?” John asked before he could regret the possible answer.
“Biological exchange of life energy,” the Doctor replied. “There can be some side effects.”
“Tell me about it,” replied Donna, though, John noticed, not with any rancour. “Like sharing my mind with those two.” She jerked a finger at the Doctor and the blue box.
“You have a telepathic link with your ship?” John asked, intrigued at the possibility.
“It’s complicated,” replied the Doctor.
“And not working,” Rodney added.
“Yes... no... “ The Doctor looked puzzled for a moment. “But I can still sense her.” He looked quizzically at Donna.
“Still crowded in here,” she confirmed.
“So, she can’t be that far from our temporal reality, just not close enough for us to get access,” the Doctor said, putting the sonic device into his jacket pocket. “Curious.”
“Curious!” exclaimed Rodney. “We are stuck on a ship full of life sucking aliens, with our only means of escape blocked by your temporally stuck ship, and our only means of defence now good with ice cream. I am more than a little curious.”
“Yes,” replied the Doctor. “Quite intriguing, isn’t it.”
Rodney opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Even for him there seemed to be no answer to such a comment.
“Could it be something on this ship is causing the problem?” John asked, almost taking a step back when three sets of eyes snapped to him, looks of surprise on their faces when they realised that he may have hit on the problem.
“Control panel,” Rodney and the Doctor said in unison, and started to charge off down the corridor.
“Hold on!” Donna exclaimed. “How do you expect us all to get passed the life sucking aliens around here?” She gestured to John. “You’ve left him with a banana, remember?”
“Ah, right,” replied The Doctor. “Could be an issue.”
“Then I’ll just have to help,” a voice rumbled from behind them.
“Ronon!” Rodney exclaimed. “What happened to us sending you off in the last dart?”
The large Satedan shrugged slightly. “Decided to stay.”
John wasn’t paying that much attention to the conversation, his eyes taken by Ronon’s holster.
“Why isn’t his blaster a banana?” he demanded of the Doctor.
“It’s got a stun setting,” he replied simply before turning his eyes on the Satedan. “You may find it locked on that for a while.”
Ronon didn’t look happy at this news but didn’t utter any protests. John thought it was probably a good thing that the Doctor wasn’t telepathically linked to Ronon though.
“Right then,” the Doctor grinned. “Control panel. Come on, Rodney. This will be fun.”
“Oh hilarious,” Rodney sighed. “I love saving everyone from life threatening situations.”
“I should think so. You do it often enough,” the Doctor replied enigmatically, Donna’s grin adding to the uncertain look on Rodney’s face.
Rodney glanced back at John who just shrugged. As he started to follow the scientists down the corridor John reached for his banana. He broke it open and took a defiant bite out of it.
“Don’t look so smug,” he growled at Ronon as the Satedan took up point behind him. “Just be thankful he didn’t turn your blaster into an orange or something.”
“Yeah, that could have been sticky,” Ronon replied completely deadpan.
Not for the first time John wondered which deity in the universe he had pissed off enough to have ended up in these situations. With a deep sigh he headed back off into the Hive.