Fic: This Is No Fairytale (Colinella)
Once upon a time in a kingdom not so far away and which looks suspiciously like France, there lived a man called Colin Morgan. Well he worked there for a few months a year anyway. And when he worked there he was in care of his evil step-mo ... producer Julian Murphy. Julian was well respected in the business and clever. No one suspected that he was anything but kind to Colin. And in his way he was. He put a roof over Colin’s head and gave the boy food to eat. What more could he possibly ask for in return for working almost 24-7.
And work Colin did. He was often the first on set in the mornings and the last to leave at night not to mention the days he spent in the recording studio. He had been slammed against a brick wall, doused in freezing water more than once, had rotten fruit thrown at him and been slapped, punched, kicked and tripped up. But Colin never complained. He was a loveable, hardworking and handsome young man, always smiling.
In addition to the terrifying Julian Murphy, were his two favourite actresses whom he doted on. They were called Katie and Angel. Katie and Angel got all the praise, chocolates sent to their rooms, days off and a car complete with driver that would take them anywhere they desired. They were often unkind to Colin, teasing him about his ears and the fact that he had to work so much harder than they did. They would add to his work load by demanding that he fetch things for them, help them with their costumes and help fix their laptops when they packed up (Colin was a bit of a whizz at technology.) Colin did all this, still without complaint, because he was a kind hearted soul and he knew that he only had to suffer this torment for eight months a year.
And so Colin worked hard until the day that it was announced that the attractive and amazing Bradley James would be having a birthday bash. Everyone in the cast and crew was invited, even Colin. Colin was so excited; it had been a long time since he had anytime off let alone been to a party. And it was fancy dress. He wondered what to dress up as. Julian took note of his contented expression and walked over to him with an ominous look on his face.
‘Colin about this party...’
‘Yes Julian?’ Colin asked sweetly.
‘Well of course you cannot go. You have a night scene to shoot.’
‘But...’
‘Now Colin. It’s for the good of the show. You understand that don’t you?’ Julian smiled condescendingly down at him, patted his shoulder and then walked away without waiting for an answer.
Colin sighed and went back to his room. So much for a party.
*
It was the day of the party and everyone was bustling about, getting ready. Tony was the one who was organizing the party and he was determined for everything to run smoothly, especially as he hoped Bradley would find someone to hook-up with and stop moaning about being single all the time. Both Tony and Bradley had plumped for the easy option of going as King and Prince although the costume department didn’t know they had been raided and spent many hours searching for the lost crowns. Katie and Angel were wearing beautiful ball gowns and if asked said they were going as themselves going to a ball. Colin watched despondently from his window as people flocked in small groups to the party, all looking fantastic in their costumes. He sighed and turned away just as there was a knock on the door. He frowned slightly, probably Julian checking that he definitely wasn’t going. Bastard. He flung the door open with a look of anger on his face which was quickly replaced with shock and then vague amusement. It was Richard, dressed up as a...
‘Fairy?’ Colin asked.
‘I beg your pardon’ Richard said looking vaguely outraged. Now if there is one thing you don’t want it is an old man in a dress with wings, brandishing a pointy stick in your face.
‘No no I mean your costume’ Colin said hastily.
‘Oh...’ Richard relaxed. ‘Ah well you could say I’m a fairy godmother.’ Richard said, going for mysterious but looking a little constipated.
‘What?’
‘Colinella you SHALL go to the ball.’
‘What did you just call me?’
‘Look never mind do you want o go to the party or not?’ Richard said looking slightly irritated that Colin was not exactly jumping up and down at his announcement.
‘Of course but I have no costume.’ Colin pointed out reasonably.
‘Yes you do!’ Richard thrust out a plastic bag he had been holding. ‘Zorro. Be sure to use the mask and hat and then you won’t look like you because it will cover that distinctive hair of yours.’
‘Well thanks but I have no way of getting there.’
‘Yes you do. I booked you a taxi. It will be here in ten minutes so you better hurry up boy.’
‘But Richard!’ Colin was frustrated. ‘I have a night scene to do.’
‘Ah don’t you worry about that.’ Richard said with an almost evil gleam in his eye.
‘Oh my God. What did you do to the crew? You didn’t knock them out or something...’
‘NO! I locked them in the props cupboard’ Richard said proudly. Colin decided not to spend too long worrying about how exactly Richard had managed to lock about six people in a cupboard without any of them realising that something strange was going on.
‘Thank you Richard! You truly are a fairy godmother umm...father...person.’ Colin gratefully took the costume and sent the full power of his 100 watt smile on Richard.
‘Just one thing Colin. You must leave at midnight’
‘Why?’ Colin asked feeling a vague sense of déjà vu.
‘Julian said he would go check on your scene at about twenty past so that will give you time to get back before him. If you’re here and the rest of the crew aren’t you can’t get into trouble. But now I must go. The party awaits. Farewell.’ He left the room dramatically, the door slamming closed behind him. Colin gaped at the closed door for a moment before it was knocked upon gain. He opened it to find Richard there looking a little sheepish. ‘Actually can I umm share your taxi? Thanks.’
*
Colin strode into the club that had been booked out for the party feeling a little foolish. He certainly didn’t look like himself. He was wearing a cape for goodness sake. A cape that disguised his skinny frame, a mask that covered his prominent cheekbones and a hat that hid his dark hair. In fact the only bit of exposed skin was his mouth and chin. He also had a sword which looked like it had been stolen from the costume department.
‘Hi’ a voice said behind him. Colin yelped (in a manly way) and spun to find himself face to face with a radiant Bradley James. He lost his breath for a moment. Bradley looked fantastic as he always did.
‘Hi’ he said and in his panic he had for reasons, not even known to himself, put on a French accent. Thank god he was good at accents.
‘Ah so you are a French extra are you? I thought you looked a little familiar. What’s your name?’
‘Zorro’ Colin said with a flourish of his cape. Bradley laughed.
‘I mean your real name.’
‘Ah Zorro never reveals his true identity’ Coin said although he wasn’t sure. Maybe that was just super heroes. Never mind Bradley seemed to accept it by the way he was nodding.
‘True but am I meant to call you Zorro all night?’ he asked. All night. That sounded promising.
‘Ah very true then you may call me Co..nnor.’ Colin said, saving himself just in time. Although Connor wasn’t a very French name. Ah well too late now.
‘Connor. Right then let me get you a drink. What is your poison?’
‘Ah no let me. It Is your birthday after all. Bon anniversaire’
*
A few hours and far too many drinks later Colin and Bradley were propping each other up at the bar.
‘You know it’s a shame Colin couldn’t be here. He’s really great. But he works too hard. It’s that bastard Julian’s fault.’ Bradley was saying or more like slurring. Colin was letting Bradley do a lot of the talking as the drunker he got, the more his French accent slipped. But he was content to feel Bradleys warmth pressed into his side, hearing Bradley talk about their adventures together but having to pretend it was the first time hearing it. Abruptly Bradley looked at him suspiciously.
‘You really are familiar you know. Your eyes. I just can’t place them right this minute.’ Bradley said, scrutinizing him closely. Colin did the only thing he could think of to stop Bradley looking at him. He kissed him.
Colin was surprised when Bradley responded immediately; wrapping his arms around Colin’s waist and pulling him close. Their eyes closed, focussing fully on each other and their lips moved together perfectly. This kiss was warm gentle and slightly hesitant as they both learned each others lips for the first time. Colin was slightly overwhelmed by the soft pressure of Bradley’s lips on his and probably would have blurted out something stupid if his lips weren’t busy right now. And of course that was when the clock began to chime. Bradley pulled back slightly.
‘Midnight’ he whispered against Colin’s lips. ‘Another day.’
‘Midnight!’ Colin all but yelled. And he was up and running, not even hesitating when Bradley called after him. Especially as he had just said midnight in a very thick Irish accent.
*
He had run all the way back and was standing exhausted, slightly drunk and looking like a bit of a prick as he had stripped off the most obvious bits of costume, when Julian arrived.
‘Colin?’ Julian said regarding him suspiciously. Colin couldn’t blame him. He looked a mess. ‘Where is everyone?’
‘No idea.’ Colin said trying not to sound either out of breath or drunk. ‘I’ve been waiting here a little while now. Maybe they forgot?’
‘Humph. Why are you dressed like that?’
‘What do you mean?’ Colin asked innocently. Like it was normal to be dressed in a fancy shirt, bright red cummerbund, dark trousers and one shoe, as he had lost one when he was running. And... oh shit the cape. He still had it on. Ah well at least he had got rid of the sword, mask and hat. ‘Oh erm... I’m trying a new look. What do you think of the cape?’ Colin swallowed nervously as Julian scrutinized him in much the way that Bradley had earlier but Colin didn’t have the option of kissing his way of trouble this time. That would be weird. Colin shuddered slightly at the image he had just conjured in his mind. Hmmm he was quite possibly going to need therapy now.
‘COLIN!’ Julian yelled. He had evidently been trying to get Colin’s attention for some time.
‘Sorry what?’
‘I said you can go to bed. We’ll sort this out tomorrow.’
*
‘So umm... good party last night?’ Colin asked.
‘Yes’ Bradley said slowly, giving Colin a very odd sideways look. ‘I met a really great guy. Funny, charming and from what I could see, good looking. I tried to find him this morning but the French crew say they have no one called Connor on their staff.’
‘Very odd.’ Colin said nervously.
‘Yes. But he did leave this behind.’ Bradley said, showing Colin his shoe.
‘Umm... so what are you going to do? Get everyone in town to try it on and see who it fits.’ Colin laughed hysterically, trying not to freak out.
‘I don’t need to. I know who’s it is.’ And before Colin could process this piece of information, Bradley was kissing him again. Colin spluttered attractively and pulled away.
‘How did you know it was me?’ Colin asked.
‘Come on Col. I would know your eyes anywhere.’ Bradley said, looking at him with such sweetness that Colin caught his breath.
‘So are you going to ride me off into the sunset now?’ Colin asked. Bradley looked at him as if he had grown as extra head.
‘This isn’t a fairy tale Colin.’
No, Colin agreed as Bradley pulled him close and kissed him again, it was better.
And so they all lived happily ever after...except the crew. They were still locked in the props cupboard.