Modern AU Depression - specific fic and recs

[bookwrm89]

The specific one I'm looking for has Merlin and Arthur living on the same residence hall and there's a party going on. Merlin walks into the bathroom and Arthur is there about to commit suicide. Merlin stays and talks to Arthur, not realizing what was about to happen. They eventually end up together, and Arthur starts seeing a therapist and

Comments

[xancredible]

There are at least three canon AU fics I remember where Merlin was suicidal. Two have got a happy ending, the other not. I don't remember their titles, unfortunately.

In the not-happy one, Merlin has some kind of trauma and is constantly on the verge of harming himself in the aftermath. Arthur takes care of him, but eventually Merlin succeeds.

The other one has Merlin ridden with guilt for what he did to Morgana in Season 2 with the poison, so he tries to kill himself with the same poison but I think Arthur finds him and stops him in time.

The third one, and it's entirely possible that it's the same one as the one I just described, I'm too fuzzy on the details, has Merlin trying to kill himself but nothing works because he's immortal. He gets it into his head that only Excalibur can kill him and he tries to provoke Arthur into doing it. If it worked (I think it might have? As I said, I'm fuzzy on the details, it's possible this is another fic), then Arthur leaves Merlin in the forest to die, but he returns later and finds Merlin either still barely alive or just coming back to life, or something like that. Maybe Arthur does something that causes Merlin's revival.

I'm so sorry I can't remember the titles :/ I can try to find them again when I've got more time this afternoon, but maybe someone else knows what these fics are and can help you out in the meantime?

[lalnadawn]

These fics sound really good! I hope you can find them and post the links. :)

[xancredible]

I found them. Check the links in my other comment.

[xancredible]

Okay, so I found the one with the Belladonna poison.

It's You Cannot Leave Me Behind by nyxelestia.

If you check this page on tumblr, there are a couple more fics that might fit your criteria.

I also remembered this fic: The Wasting Game. I had to check for the tags, but yeah, suicidal thoughts are listed. Merlin develops an eating disorder.

Breaking Point by tailor 31415 is the one in which Merlin tries to kill himself but fails because of his immortality.

You can check this page on another tumblr for more relevant fics.

Also: The third one, where Arthur kills Merlin and leaves him to die is not a suicide fic. It's a magic reveal gone bad fic. It's called Pining for the Moon, written by EveryPeachPearPlum. It's got a happy ending.