today: dear LJ,
it's a down day.
that's ok cause it's Dine work time again. (and I gotta get on it damn it - *kick*)
i've learned normal to me is hypomanic. the only thing different about me than most BP is that I sleep fine - (maybe cause I have a sleep disorder?) my therapist is researching the aspie thing right now though cause nighttime is really the only time of day that I have a "ritual" and am stressed if I don't follow...it's not out of the normal though, but it includes sleep routine and he said this could be a possibility.
~
talked to mom & dad Sun. for a long time (unusual & good)... I did tell mom, but she asked about my meds cause she could tell immediately by the sound of my voice I was better. (a friend of mine too) which is weird cause i don't sound any different to myself.
my dad is doing better than mom about dad's cancer - to mom: he's dying. (in my mind we all are...someday) she said something about him not making to the end of his treatments. my mom is the strong one...and I thought she'd gone through this already --that sounds so shallow of me. I would be afraid too. maybe she feels comfortable being able to share her fears with me since she isn't the type to join support groups and has no friends. I got the opportunity to tell her that things (those something like wise sayings etc. for ex: she was the anti prejudice countering my dad's world view about color, gender identity, everything) she has said to me growing up have had a big impact/influence on me and that i think she has had to overcome a lot in her life (know!) and that she is a strong person. i guess she didn't know i felt this way, i think it came at a good time and it made her happy to hear.
dad and i talked and laughed about things...the treatments, his hummingbirds, life in general, tim's work, that i got my name (spelled with 3 Ls) along with tim's as um...some title like special ____... in dine mag (he was proud- those things matter to him), illustration...
~
i've been doing a drawing of the green man and tim commented how it looked like my father --those things come out even when you don't mean them to! (right Becca?) now i don't know if i should share it with them...if you have seen the green man you prob know what I mean.
while painting the cornfield i tried not to but, still, it speaks like looking out at the end of life and mom and dad are the two birds... but i do not think it depressing...it's just that you never know how other's will feel.
~
i haven't read lj since last posting, my ADD has been pretty bad or it's a side effect of the abilify and will go away soon i hope. today i think i will on breaks...
sincerely,
wanderer in the woods
that's ok cause it's Dine work time again. (and I gotta get on it damn it - *kick*)
i've learned normal to me is hypomanic. the only thing different about me than most BP is that I sleep fine - (maybe cause I have a sleep disorder?) my therapist is researching the aspie thing right now though cause nighttime is really the only time of day that I have a "ritual" and am stressed if I don't follow...it's not out of the normal though, but it includes sleep routine and he said this could be a possibility.
~
talked to mom & dad Sun. for a long time (unusual & good)... I did tell mom, but she asked about my meds cause she could tell immediately by the sound of my voice I was better. (a friend of mine too) which is weird cause i don't sound any different to myself.
my dad is doing better than mom about dad's cancer - to mom: he's dying. (in my mind we all are...someday) she said something about him not making to the end of his treatments. my mom is the strong one...and I thought she'd gone through this already --that sounds so shallow of me. I would be afraid too. maybe she feels comfortable being able to share her fears with me since she isn't the type to join support groups and has no friends. I got the opportunity to tell her that things (those something like wise sayings etc. for ex: she was the anti prejudice countering my dad's world view about color, gender identity, everything) she has said to me growing up have had a big impact/influence on me and that i think she has had to overcome a lot in her life (know!) and that she is a strong person. i guess she didn't know i felt this way, i think it came at a good time and it made her happy to hear.
dad and i talked and laughed about things...the treatments, his hummingbirds, life in general, tim's work, that i got my name (spelled with 3 Ls) along with tim's as um...some title like special ____... in dine mag (he was proud- those things matter to him), illustration...
~
i've been doing a drawing of the green man and tim commented how it looked like my father --those things come out even when you don't mean them to! (right Becca?) now i don't know if i should share it with them...if you have seen the green man you prob know what I mean.
while painting the cornfield i tried not to but, still, it speaks like looking out at the end of life and mom and dad are the two birds... but i do not think it depressing...it's just that you never know how other's will feel.
~
i haven't read lj since last posting, my ADD has been pretty bad or it's a side effect of the abilify and will go away soon i hope. today i think i will on breaks...
sincerely,
wanderer in the woods