I am of an Impressionable Nature
watched Children of Men late last night after having a cup of coffee around ten o clock. So I was a little unnerved when I went to bed. Told Tim of how when I was a kid if I thought I heard something in the house I couldn't go back to sleep. I would grab the tall candle in a glass (think it was a saints candle) and take that downstairs with me...you know, to whack the burgler with...go into the kitchen so I could put the candle down and get the giant knife. Then I'd walk all through the house and check all the locks on the doors to make sure no one was there. THEn, I could go back to sleep.
then, (presently) I slept 2 ft above the covers and woke up dreaming I had stepped on one of the rats and held it while it died... think I was still in that half dreaming state of mind and I tried to think positively (I've been working on that the past two days) but my mind wouldn't stop racing and fretting and no mantra would work. I resorted to my old standby mental bedtime story imaginging and that did it. my escapist nature in action. it works. for that anyway. I need my warrior nature back for the rest of my life though and it has been coming back. I am taking back control little by little. Today I drive to the big city to stock up on health food, herbs and such.
I listened to Oprah the other day while going through cookbooks. there was talk about child abuse...so I called my mother and told her I was sorry for what happened to her (belt buckle story). I prepared myself for the possible bad reaction and not expecting anything especially of an emotional nature...but it was ok. she was in a good mood. she said she wanted to come over and have me teach her some tofu recipes since she needs to lower her cholesterol.
then, (presently) I slept 2 ft above the covers and woke up dreaming I had stepped on one of the rats and held it while it died... think I was still in that half dreaming state of mind and I tried to think positively (I've been working on that the past two days) but my mind wouldn't stop racing and fretting and no mantra would work. I resorted to my old standby mental bedtime story imaginging and that did it. my escapist nature in action. it works. for that anyway. I need my warrior nature back for the rest of my life though and it has been coming back. I am taking back control little by little. Today I drive to the big city to stock up on health food, herbs and such.
I listened to Oprah the other day while going through cookbooks. there was talk about child abuse...so I called my mother and told her I was sorry for what happened to her (belt buckle story). I prepared myself for the possible bad reaction and not expecting anything especially of an emotional nature...but it was ok. she was in a good mood. she said she wanted to come over and have me teach her some tofu recipes since she needs to lower her cholesterol.